You're keeping going, though, Pen - be proud of that and kind to yourself xx
If we do actually have one.
Because he's also one of the reasons for your pleasure?
John, I hate it when you're right, you little scamp 😖
Sorry to hear that. But maybe you could find something you did well? I'm sure you could :) when you're depressed, you concentrate on things you did bad, that makes you even more depressed, and doesn't allow you to be positive.
I hope you're feeling better soon. Have some chocolate, Pen?
We're here for you, Pen. *Big hugs*
Lots of love, Pen - sorry you're feeling this way xx
Sorry, Pen. I bet a good night's sleep will do you a lot of good. I hope you can get one soon!
Extra hugs, dear Pen xx
I hope you'll get better soon.
That ***er. Hate insomnia.
I'm so frustrated about the fact that two months ago we couldn't live together in case things went wrong. As soon as I get a 12 month tenancy he's asking what happens if my circumstances change.
He used to do this before. He wants everything in his own time, on his terms, when he's ready. So in the meantime I make my own plans and then he changes his mind and acts like the injured party.
My circumstances won't be changing for a year and it's because he will never open his heart and rescue me. Happened last time and it makes me so very sad that he will never fight for me.
Big hugs Pen xx
Sorry to hear that... Hang on!
People are complicated, daaaam.
The horrid woman has spoilt any enjoyment I may have in my new home. I'll be too scared to touch anything in case she charges me £80 for a fingermark!!
Horrid woman is not just my opinion, you should see how some of the reviewers describe her! If I wasn't so angry and down about it then they'd be funny.
What the hell? 80 pounds? Jeez. She is crazy.
You on the council list? It's a stupid long wait but if you can prove your housing situation is affecting your health some councils give you more priority. It's not an instant solution but could prove valuable a year or two down the line.
Omg, it sounds so terrible, I hope everything will work out in the end and you enjoy the apartment, all for the best
Hehe, I was exaggerating Alicia, but wait until a year's time and I'll probably be ranting about her again then!
Thanks John, I did go on the list but then came off when I moved here because it was meant to be long term. I will look at going back on because at least I can be choosy in what I apply for and it will be cheaper and more permanent.
And actually you can do a lot more to them and even have pets so I am grateful for you reminding me. Although my “boyfriend” should be explaining what he wants for the future and that would help in my plans.
So are you going to ask him?
Oh John 😔
Sorry Pen. You'll get there. You both care.
So I have to do 47 hours of work in 28 hours a week. I'm already under a very delayed stress review. Add to that the issues with M and all the move stuff, then I've just about come to the end of my rope.
It's not ideal but you can get through the worst of things by trying to stay calm and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
you got this!
Made him go earlier tonight and no cuddles. I'm pulling away because of this. I don't want to be railroaded into this as if it's normal. Finding it all too difficult after what I went through.
I'm not a jealous person and he has a few female friends which don't bother me in the slightest. But I do not want the constant reminder of his previous relationship. I'd never dream of doing that.
I'm on the verge of tears it upsets me so. And he has no idea of how this makes me feel. It's his life and he can do what he likes but the simple fact is a future like that will not have me in it.
I hope you talk this through with him. It's obviously very important to you, so he should try to understand. I find it positive he's talking about it!
don't give up!
Thanks all 😗
I find it hard to communicate as it is but I'm better than I was and I really do try. But when you're with someone equally as bad then it's too difficult and stifled and it is impossible to get past.
I simply need someone who is open, confident and patient. I never get that.
You can choose to get that.
Maybe you could follow a partnership therapy? It could help you both if you have a good therapist.
The open, confident, and patient person you need could be yourself. Although I'm sure you are already these things regularly.
giving you some hope
He's afraid it might rain and we will not be able to do anything. Just excuses in my eyes. Which is fair enough but then what are we? A year of friendship and more of the same for another year? It's not enough for me.
I know I am very lucky but why can't I have a proper relationship. I'm always walked over and used. This year should be a very happy one and instead it's one of the worst ever.
Ian, a normal relationship for me is saying you love the other person often and with meaning, being intimate with them, spending nights together and committing to joint aims and future. Not a half hearted effort from one side, all talk and no action.
And definitely not talking about your ex wife every other time we meet 😣
But thanks for the hugs all. Just feeling a little bit unloved and alone. Which I used to deal with better when I was single.
Penelope, if this isn't what you need, this may sound harsh, but .end it. What you want and need might be out there but you are not available for it to happen while you are wasting your time with M
What is a normal relationship? Never give up on happiness.
New rules come in for agreements from 1 June. But unfortunately I've just “discovered” I have to work that day 😉 so she's going to have to change it. Oh dear. My boss will back me up.
Have a great time and hope you got your sunshine (the weather, not just your fella :) ) It's glorious in Scotland today xx
Sunny in Sheffield too! I went out into the Eastern Moors and enjoyed it.
Yes, it was lovely. Pics on the Insta tomorrow. X