5.5 avg
  1327 days
  10538 hugs
  177 followers
3 Penelope P
33m ·
Managed to eat and shower. Even done a little more sorting/packing. I was going to have a day off it today. Nervous about later. I shouldn't be nervous about seeing the man I love πŸ˜”
Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
13h ·
Felt bad so invited M over for tea tomorrow. I always give in. This does not make me happy.
Jenny D
10h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
19h ·
Pushing him away. It's not looking good.
Melody L
17h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
1d ·
Slow start yet again. Boiled egg, painted nails, solitaire. Anything but that darn ironing and packing 😣
Anna D
1d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
1d ·

*Hugs*

Lulu G
1d · NEW

*Hugs*

Albertine M
1d ·

You're keeping going, though, Pen - be proud of that and kind to yourself xx

John T
24h ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24h ·

*Hugs*

Aya N
22h ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
17h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
2d ·
M texts to say I can call him anytime if I want to talk. How can I when he is one of the reasons for my anguish. Especially the part where he won't tell me how he really feels about me and our future.
Penelope P
2d ·

If we do actually have one.

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

John T
2d ·

Because he's also one of the reasons for your pleasure?

me M
1d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
1d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
1d ·

John, I hate it when you're right, you little scamp πŸ˜–

Anna D
1d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
24h ·

*Hugs*

John T
24h ·

😜

Jeff M
24h ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
17h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
2d ·
Went to see a friend to talk things over. Only made me realise all the things I fail at on a continuing basis. Home, work, relationships. Nothing ever goes right for long enough for me to recover.
Natalie C
2d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
1d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
1d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
1d ·

Sorry to hear that. But maybe you could find something you did well? I'm sure you could :) when you're depressed, you concentrate on things you did bad, that makes you even more depressed, and doesn't allow you to be positive.

Albertine M
24h ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
17h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
2d ·
No Reason Given
Lulu G
2d · NEW

*Hugs*

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

John T
2d ·

I hope you're feeling better soon. Have some chocolate, Pen?

Tim S
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jenny D
2d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
2d ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
2d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
1d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
24h ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
17h ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
3d ·
Still always on the verge of tears. M emailed 3 times already this morning when I've asked to be left alone. I'm really struggling now 😒
Jenny D
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

We're here for you, Pen. *Big hugs*

Albertine M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
3d ·

Lots of love, Pen - sorry you're feeling this way xx

John T
3d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
3d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
4d ·
Still very down. No panic last night but woke 4 times. No contact from M. I have nothing to say to him. Nervous every time my phone rings because of that nasty agent. Ignored 2 scam numbers. Tired.
Jeff M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
4d ·

Sorry, Pen. I bet a good night's sleep will do you a lot of good. I hope you can get one soon!

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

Brandt B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
4d ·

Extra hugs, dear Pen xx

Anna D
4d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
4d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
5d ·
Nocturnal panic attack second night running. Sooooo must be stress related eh? Fancy that!! So here is the insomnia back again, hello old enemy, it's been a while.
Jen B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
5d ·

*Hugs*

Aya N
5d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
5d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
5d ·

I hope you'll get better soon.

me M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

That ***er. Hate insomnia.

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

May A
5d · NEW

*Hugs*

Robert H
5d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
4d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
1 Penelope P
6d ·
Told M that I want to do my own thing this weekend. I'm going to be too tired from work this week for any walks and I need to pack. Plus I don't think I could look at him without bursting into tears.
Penelope P
6d ·

I'm so frustrated about the fact that two months ago we couldn't live together in case things went wrong. As soon as I get a 12 month tenancy he's asking what happens if my circumstances change.

Penelope P
6d ·

He used to do this before. He wants everything in his own time, on his terms, when he's ready. So in the meantime I make my own plans and then he changes his mind and acts like the injured party.

Penelope P
6d ·

My circumstances won't be changing for a year and it's because he will never open his heart and rescue me. Happened last time and it makes me so very sad that he will never fight for me.

Natalie C
6d ·

*Hugs*

Gabrielle H
6d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
6d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
6d ·

Big hugs Pen xx

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Aya N
5d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
5d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
5d ·

Sorry to hear that... Hang on!

me M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

People are complicated, daaaam.

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
6d ·
The agent has won and then I read some reviews, they're horrendous! I doubt I'll be staying any longer than the 12 months & looks like I'll have a battle for my deposit back. What a nightmare.
Penelope P
6d ·

The horrid woman has spoilt any enjoyment I may have in my new home. I'll be too scared to touch anything in case she charges me Β£80 for a fingermark!!

Penelope P
6d ·

Horrid woman is not just my opinion, you should see how some of the reviewers describe her! If I wasn't so angry and down about it then they'd be funny.

Gabrielle H
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Aya N
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

What the hell? 80 pounds? Jeez. She is crazy.

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

You on the council list? It's a stupid long wait but if you can prove your housing situation is affecting your health some councils give you more priority. It's not an instant solution but could prove valuable a year or two down the line.

me M
5d ·

Omg, it sounds so terrible, I hope everything will work out in the end and you enjoy the apartment, all for the best

me M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
4d ·

Hehe, I was exaggerating Alicia, but wait until a year's time and I'll probably be ranting about her again then!

Penelope P
4d ·

Thanks John, I did go on the list but then came off when I moved here because it was meant to be long term. I will look at going back on because at least I can be choosy in what I apply for and it will be cheaper and more permanent.

Penelope P
4d ·

And actually you can do a lot more to them and even have pets so I am grateful for you reminding me. Although my β€œboyfriend” should be explaining what he wants for the future and that would help in my plans.

John T
4d ·

So are you going to ask him?

Penelope P
4d ·

Oh John πŸ˜”

John T
4d ·

Sorry Pen. You'll get there. You both care.

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
7d ·
Big argument with new agent but I hope she's happy taking her Β£130. I caved in as usual and only achieved my preferred pay date. Now my colleague is signed off for 4 weeks.
Penelope P
7d ·

So I have to do 47 hours of work in 28 hours a week. I'm already under a very delayed stress review. Add to that the issues with M and all the move stuff, then I've just about come to the end of my rope.

Robert H
7d ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
7d ·

It's not ideal but you can get through the worst of things by trying to stay calm and seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

Natalie C
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

you got this!

Anna D
6d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
6d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·
Talking about me eventually moving in with him again. Always on his terms and where he wants to live. If that's in the same town as his ex wife then it's NEVER going to happen.
Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·

Made him go earlier tonight and no cuddles. I'm pulling away because of this. I don't want to be railroaded into this as if it's normal. Finding it all too difficult after what I went through.

Jen B
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·

I'm not a jealous person and he has a few female friends which don't bother me in the slightest. But I do not want the constant reminder of his previous relationship. I'd never dream of doing that.

Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·

I'm on the verge of tears it upsets me so. And he has no idea of how this makes me feel. It's his life and he can do what he likes but the simple fact is a future like that will not have me in it.

Aya N
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
7d ·

I hope you talk this through with him. It's obviously very important to you, so he should try to understand. I find it positive he's talking about it!

nixiblu .
7d ·

*Hugs*

me M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

don't give up!

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
6d ·

Thanks all πŸ˜—

Once logged in you can be part of the community
3 Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·
Don't really want to go out with him today but I'll just go along with it. I wish we could talk properly but it's another one of those repressed, closed up, unspoken relationships again 😞
Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·

I find it hard to communicate as it is but I'm better than I was and I really do try. But when you're with someone equally as bad then it's too difficult and stifled and it is impossible to get past.

Penelope P
19 May 2019 ·

I simply need someone who is open, confident and patient. I never get that.

Jeff M
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

You can choose to get that.

Anna D
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
19 May 2019 ·

Maybe you could follow a partnership therapy? It could help you both if you have a good therapist.

John T
19 May 2019 ·

The open, confident, and patient person you need could be yourself. Although I'm sure you are already these things regularly.

John T
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Ian D
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
7d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

giving you some hope

Once logged in you can be part of the community
2 Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·
I suppose I maybe need my sounds on.
John T
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

me M
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Zoe D
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
4 Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·
Thought I would put M on the spot about staying away for a couple of nights. It will be a year since we started seeing each other. I can tell from his hesitancy that he doesn't feel the same as me.
Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

He's afraid it might rain and we will not be able to do anything. Just excuses in my eyes. Which is fair enough but then what are we? A year of friendship and more of the same for another year? It's not enough for me.

Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

I know I am very lucky but why can't I have a proper relationship. I'm always walked over and used. This year should be a very happy one and instead it's one of the worst ever.

Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

Ian, a normal relationship for me is saying you love the other person often and with meaning, being intimate with them, spending nights together and committing to joint aims and future. Not a half hearted effort from one side, all talk and no action.

Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

And definitely not talking about your ex wife every other time we meet 😣

Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

But thanks for the hugs all. Just feeling a little bit unloved and alone. Which I used to deal with better when I was single.

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

Penelope, if this isn't what you need, this may sound harsh, but .end it. What you want and need might be out there but you are not available for it to happen while you are wasting your time with M

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

πŸ€—

Ian D
18 May 2019 ·

What is a normal relationship? Never give up on happiness.

Ian D
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Rajinder K
18 May 2019 · NEW

*Hugs*

Aya N
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·
It's just dawned on me that my new landlord has manipulated me into entering into tenancy agreement on 31 May instead of 1 June that I requested just so they can charge me fees.
Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

New rules come in for agreements from 1 June. But unfortunately I've just β€œdiscovered” I have to work that day πŸ˜‰ so she's going to have to change it. Oh dear. My boss will back me up.

Robert H
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

me M
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Aya N
18 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
19 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

:)

Once logged in you can be part of the community
6 Penelope P
17 May 2019 ·
Off out on a ramble with the fella today. Come on sunshine, don't give up on us now!
tEnT S
17 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
17 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
17 May 2019 ·

Have a great time and hope you got your sunshine (the weather, not just your fella :) ) It's glorious in Scotland today xx

nixiblu .
17 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
17 May 2019 ·

Sunny in Sheffield too! I went out into the Eastern Moors and enjoyed it.

John T
17 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
18 May 2019 ·

Yes, it was lovely. Pics on the Insta tomorrow. X

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

:D

Once logged in you can be part of the community
4 Penelope P
16 May 2019 ·
Bit of a weird day. Met a friend and we exchanged gripes. Cried with laughing over video M made me. But then he went quiet. I don't know. I wish life could just be simple and uneventful.
Janine S
16 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
17 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

*Hugs*

Joann W
6d ·

that's okay

Once logged in you can be part of the community