Is it a man thing? Nobody I know is still mates with their ex but admittedly they are normal thinking women. All my friends think it is odd. I suggested she still controls him like she did in marriage.
I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. I told him perhaps the friends he keeps are like minded to him. Duplicitous and disloyal? Mmm. I can't see me ever getting past this because of my issue with cheats. No apologies.
I've had relationships where I stayed friends with my ex. If you care about someone for a long time but it won't work out long-term, you can still care about them even if you're not in a relationship. Not all break-ups are bad, I guess.
That being said, it's good you tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and he should talk to you about it.
Thanks Jeff. I can see how it is different if you just can't live/stay together romantically but it's the cheating thing I guess I have the problem with. It shows the true colours of a person in my opinion, and I wouldn't want them still in my life.
Perhaps I am being petty, childish, unreasonable whichever. But if I lose him over it then that's what will be.
I used to be friends with some exes when I was still living in Moscow. Now they are too far away, both physically and mentally. I'm not sure it was a good thing for us to be friends back then, I think it's better the way it is now.
I can understand your feelings.
I sympathize with you! ❤❤
He is everything I ever wanted. Just I never feel like he is really mine.
You do deserve to feel loved and reassured. 🙁 hope that happens soon. Lots of hugs
Thank you all x
I don't think I'm being unreasonable. He saw her on Wednesday. Why he has to be “adult” about it I have no idea. He owes her nothing, no children involved. Just let it go for goodness sake.
I'm not in touch with my exes. There is no need to be civil. He slags her off to me anyway. But I'm not interested. He is just being plain weird and borderline stalkerish.
Fed up of this now, all the talk of moving nearer to her than he is to me. How ridiculous. If he is not careful then it will drive a wedge between us. And he can double date with them and a new gf.
I think you're absolutely right, you don't deserve to be constantly reminded of her and deal with that stress. I do think, though, that you should tell it to him clearly. If he doesn't stop, then he's not giving you what you deserve. <3
I may have to pluck up the courage at some point. If he moves there then I think that will be the end of us. He will see it as me being over sensitive and petty about it. He should understand how it feels.
She cheated on him, I was cheated on. Even if it's an imagined threat, i will always feel like second best and insecure when cheaters are around.
I am best friends with my ex husband, perhaps because we are the ones who best know each other. We both have new partners and are able to support each other. I think the new partners understand that it is only friendship
He's been with his partner nearly 3 years
She did find it hard at first. Mine is yet to meet them. But talks to his ex. I guess lives are complex
Sorry nixi but I just find it strange he would want to keep a cheater and someone who hurt him real bad in his life still. I know I don't. I have a real issue with people who cheat and lie, I wouldn't want to be friends with such.
It's totally normal if you feel like that. Nothing oversensitive about this. And he should understan that.
Sorry Penelope. I may be the devil here, it's up to him to forgive the cheats and lies. I've been cheated on 2x. One I will forgive and am friends with, one I wish to never see again.
Speak to him about it.. ... I don't understand how you could forgive....... You are a good person, can you tell me about it? That's what I wish I would do in your situation
Thanks nixi, you are a much better person than me. I know some may think I'm being childish about it and stamping my foot but it's my particular sore nerve. I find it hard to talk to him at the moment.
If he brings it up again then I will try to explain how I feel. If I say how it makes me feel that he will be living a few streets away from her but yet 15 miles away from me then he may see my perspective.
Thanks too Melody x
I hate my work. I can't talk to friends. I can't afford to go on dates with M. He's still in contact with his ex which I find weird. I can't get close to him, he has no desire for me. Everything is wrong.
I can't find joy in anything. I have no future to look forward to. I'm trapped in this misery and the only thing I can do and afford to do is keep quiet and accept what is not enough for me.
Be careful what you wish for because all that glitters is not gold my friends.
Aw, sorry to see you so low, Pen. I know you're having a really hard time finding a way to deal with M when it's not the way you want it to be. But my advice would be to keep him close, even if it's not the type of relationship you want, because...
...it's really hard to find those kinds of friendships, and you need that right now. We're all here for you too!
I wish I could give you a real life hug right now ❤️ things won't stay as bad as they are, you'll see ❤️
Communication is good
I can't see me ever breaking down the wall that has been built up. There's no real affection, no feeling, no intimacy anymore. It hurts me because I love him so much. Or loved? I don't know.
It's just not enough. I'm scared this is ending soon. Can't speak to him, it's just too difficult and constant rejection is painful.
I'm in a similar situation. It's like reading my own thoughts...
Sorry to see you so low, Pen. My email is on the site John set up, if you ever want to talk. Been in that situation with a guy and it is so difficult to know what is best to do. Thinking of you xx