5.5 avg
  1222 days
  9430 hugs
  167 followers
3 Penelope P
12h ·
Every time I reach out I just get ignored. That's how it's been my whole life so I should be used to it. I feel the tears pricking my eyes. Always an afterthought, never higher than 2nd place.
Penelope P
12h ·

Always feel like a burden, or at best an annoyance. So going to bed as usual.

Tim S
12h ·

*Hugs*

Ethan S
12h · NEW

*Hugs*

Noah C
11h · NEW

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
11h ·

*Hugs*

Blake P
11h · NEW

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10h ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
10h ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
10h ·

Big hugs Penelope - your panda friends are always here to listen if you want to reach out & will listen πŸ’œ. Sending love. X

Lydia R
1h ·

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
1d ·
Difficult times at work, we are having to come up with strategies and promotion ideas but I am just a humble payroll officer. M is being there for me in his unique way.
Penelope P
1d ·

Mittelschmerz is here and I'm getting clumsy and emotional but I need to remember how lucky I am to at least have him around if I need him. The m doesn't stand for mittelschmerz by the way, if I could only get rid of that curse!

Nuria L
1d ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
1d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
1d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
21h ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
11h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10h ·

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6 Penelope P
3d ·
Hoping that M will come round later. Don't know what I'm going to do for tea. Just looking forward to Les Miserables and cuddles, don't need more than that.
Cindy M
3d ·

*Hugs*

John T
3d ·

T to the A to the K to the E, A to the W A Y!

John T
3d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
3d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
3d ·

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
3d ·
It's that not knowing who I am or what I want or what I'm doing here time again. Welcome back πŸ˜–
Ann J
3d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
3d ·

*Hugs*

Ruby M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
3d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
3d ·

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3 Penelope P
4d ·
Trying to see if I can survive financially on even less hours than my current 28pw. The answer is not really & definitely not happily unless I can enjoy eating cereal every meal like I did in the 90s.
Annic G
4d ·

*Hugs*

Annic G
4d ·

I am confident you will find a solution. Remember that your current situation is temporary. Big hug πŸ€—

Tim S
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

Tony I
4d ·

*Hugs*

Nuria L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

*Hugs*

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8 Penelope P
4d ·
Went out walking with M today. I should have gone to a reunion party tonight but I stayed for tea at M's. If I'm honest with myself, he's the only one of those ex colleagues I actually want to be with
Penelope P
4d ·

Despite things not being great for me right now, he is the one I want to see. He makes me laugh and makes me feel safe and cosy and comfortable. The rest I like but I'd give them all up for him. And there's my answer when I agonised about going.

Penelope P
4d ·

I am glad I spent tonight with him. We wouldn't be missed at the do and I am sure we had a much better time with a takeaway curry and telly than a buffet, noise and boredom.

Robert H
4d ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

I'm glad you went, Pen. Walking is always better once you get out there.

Alicia B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

Good choice, I'd do the same thing if I were you :)

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4 Penelope P
5d ·
Don't really want to go walking but I suppose I should.
Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

https://flic.kr/s/aHsm8t9c7Z I didn't want to go yesterday but I went and really enjoyed it.

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
5d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
4d ·

Great pics John, thanks for sharing 😘

Alicia B
4d ·

Beautiful!

Lydia R
3d ·

*Hugs*

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3 Penelope P
5d ·
Sometimes it gets overwhelming and exhausting to go through everything on your own, make the decisions, deal with problems, cope without support. Only if you're alone will you get this.
Natalie C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Erin F
5d ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
5d ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
5d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

I get this for sure. It never gets easier. I've been alone so long, you'd think it would be easier, but it isn't. :( *Huge hugs*

Cindy M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
4d ·

I get it too.

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3 Penelope P
6d ·
Received a risk of redundancy letter today so having the time of my life. Be careful what you wish for is the lesson.
Kym S
6d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
6d ·

*Hugs*

John T
6d ·

*Hugs*

Ann J
6d ·

*Hugs*

Metron A
6d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

Oh no, that must be so stressful… Is there an actual threat or is it something they do just in case?

nixiblu .
5d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
5d ·

That is so true. Hope it works out how you want

Penelope P
5d ·

Thanks all. @Alicia we can try and work out strategies but with only two months to turn things round it's looking quite tricky.

Natalie C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
5d ·

Sounds tough :( hope for the best outcome. X

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3 Penelope P
7d ·
I can feel my mood slipping and I want to withdraw. Dreading the party Friday night. Fed up with everyone at work. Even M isn't very attentive. I just want to hide away for a long time.
Lydia R
7d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
7d ·

Hugs, dear Pen! ❀️ I know this feeling so well.

Robert H
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
7d ·

*Hugs*

John T
7d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
6d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
6d ·

Me too

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3 Penelope P
7d ·
My colleague does my head in. Taking my work and medalling. Asking me to check her work then criticising the way I work stuff out and telling me what I do and don't need to check.
Penelope P
7d ·

Why ask me then if you don't like how I do it. Don't pick up my work and then tell me what I should do about it. Only one day to go and then she's on holiday, thank god.

Penelope P
7d ·

She is very patronising to me. Rushes through work and is sloppy. Chops and changes from one task to another. Moans on about things and drags me into it. Roll on tomorrow 4pm.

Lydia R
7d ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
7d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
6d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
5d ·

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
7d ·
He's gone quiet. Guessed he would. He doesn't like me doing the lovey dovey thing. Going to bed to read.
Robert H
7d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Nikole H
7d ·

*Hugs*

Ann J
7d ·

*Hugs*

Rob W
7d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
7d ·

*Hugs*

me M
7d ·

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·
Work the usual but not horrendous. Feel like I have to email M with a few thoughts from yesterday. Okay, I don't have to but I need to get a few things out of my system.
Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

Just to explain that I'm learning how to deal with emotions still and how it is overwhelming finding someone that I connect with so well and telling him about my financial worries and my social anxiety which may impact on us.

Lydia R
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

Sometimes you can't get everything out clearly face to face and I don't want either of us to feel not good enough for each other or hesitant with each other because I think we do just fine.

Jeff M
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·
Today has been difficult for me. It was lovely to be out with M but he has a lot of worry and family stress so it didn't feel as fun as before. I'm also quite stressed with work and a social event...
Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

...so sometimes it felt a bit prickly between us. I still adore him. We had some more open and honest talk. But I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I can't be with anyone long term ever again.

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

I always find it hard to relate to people. I feel odd and unusual and simply an annoyance. Too much hassle and hard work. Don't know how much longer he can tolerate my peculiarity.

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

Haven't posted for a few days. Just didn't know what to say and everything seems wrong and uncomfortable.

Bipolar Bear .
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Rob W
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Rob W
14 Jan 2019 ·

Just say what's on your mind. This is a judge free place.

Robert H
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
14 Jan 2019 ·

Keep going, this is just a bumpy bit of road.

Tim S
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

Thanks everyone x

Jeff M
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
14 Jan 2019 ·

Everything seems wrong and uncomfortable...I feel that way all the time (a lot of the time anyway). I'm sorry things are awkward. :(

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

Thanks Jeff, I'm still learning how to interact with someone I've known on and off for 19 years! We are intimate now but it's not any easier just because you think you already know them.

Penelope P
14 Jan 2019 ·

I thought it would be comfortable and easy but it's not!

Cindy M
14 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Rob W
15 Jan 2019 ·

Relationships are never easy. It's a lot of work. The key is to always take care of yourself first then your partner. I'm learning from experience. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself. So go ahead and love yourself. You'll be happier

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9 Penelope P
07 Jan 2019 ·
Sooooo happy and content and secure in love.
nixiblu .
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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9 Penelope P
06 Jan 2019 ·
M coming over later so today is a good day.
Cindy M
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Kym S
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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8 Penelope P
06 Jan 2019 ·
Maybe I'm stupid but I didn't know I could video call my love on WhatsApp and see him drinking wine and watching shows about corpses! Who knew πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Shelley H
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
06 Jan 2019 ·

You can do the same thing on messenger

Robert H
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
06 Jan 2019 ·

I didn't know either. Sounds like a fun guy! :)

Jenny D
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Xavier M
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
06 Jan 2019 ·

Thanks all. He's always fun Cindy, I'm very lucky that he sticks around with an old grump like me.

nixiblu .
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Penelope P
05 Jan 2019 ·
Wish I could get motivated to sort out my focus for 2019. Five days gone already and I feel like chances are slipping me by. Plus I don't really want to join WhatsApp, I'm 48 ffs. Annoyed.
Penelope P
05 Jan 2019 ·

People want me to do this sht and I'd rather the internet just broke and we can all go back to 1986.

Ade W
05 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
05 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
05 Jan 2019 ·

Oh, yeah, people that blow up our phones and demand ( passively perhaps) that we be available all the time... Ugh. I hate it too. I'm on WA though. I just leave my phone in another room a lot XD

John T
06 Jan 2019 ·

Pen, it depends what month in 1986 because I might not be born or even conceived... *Sends another demanding message to Alicia on messenger* (btw I'd like to change our chats to WhatsApp if that's ok because I hate messenger...)

John T
06 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
06 Jan 2019 ·

Also Pen this song just came on shuffle... https://youtu.be/xPVQMEbsIFo

Penelope P
06 Jan 2019 ·

Nice bit of oompah pah in the morning, thanks John πŸ˜‚

nixiblu .
07 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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7 Penelope P
04 Jan 2019 ·
A day where I've actually not regretted not doing anything much at all. Sometimes it's okay to switch off and recharge. Hurrah for sofas! ⏸
Silke V
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
04 Jan 2019 ·

Very good you took some time for yourself!!

Cindy M
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
04 Jan 2019 ·

Well done, you!

Penelope P
05 Jan 2019 ·

Thanks all.

Amelia P
05 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
04 Jan 2019 ·
Not feeling so well, don't want to do chores. Missing M but can't contact him because worried I've freaked him out. It's gloomy again so art and craft is unlikely. Ugh.
Jeff M
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
04 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Amelia P
05 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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