MoodPanda: 6
 Days: 1458
 Been hugged: 8630
 Followers: 136
Binky B · 60m 5
Trying to make a cake for friend's bday and it's taking ages. This is basically all I've been doing all day! Feel a bit gross. Got an interview tomorrow, but not expecting anything. #money worries
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Binky B · 39m
Just very glad I can lick the bowl...
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Binky B · 6h 5
Hmm, same again this morning, no luck with getting up. Then there were construction noises outside and then I really didn't want to get out of bed at all. 10:30 is not 8:00! Spots bad, and picking.
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Tasha S · 4h
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 18h 6
Today was uneventful, I didn't really accomplish much. Highlight was seeing my friend for dinner, then buying some second hand kitchen items like smoothie maker and electric whisk! Making cake 2moro.
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Claire M · 18h
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 18h
Ah, cakes and smoothies, what else you would ever need? 8)
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Jeff M · 17h
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 16h
Nice. I start my day with smoothies... thats why I'm so smooth. You are what you slurp... or something like that.
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Tasha S · 12h
*Hugs*
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Karen V · 11h
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 8h
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 33m
Smoothies are a fantastic way to start the day! Healthy, quick and portable!
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Binky B · 1d 5
Slept in again today but still woke up before my alarm, but went back to sleep, what is going on. Felt so tired and my affirmation alarm didn't even help. Due to late night most likely. #sleep
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4Give 1 · 1d
Affirmation alarm: good morning, gorgeous. Its going to be a magical day. Maybe you need a nag setting: What? Still in bed? If you weren't up so late... blah blah.
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Alma B · 1d
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 1d
...or not. #rambling
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Alma B · 1d
Sleeping is important! Maybe your body just needed it. :)
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Claire M · 24h
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 24h
Maybe changing your evening routine will help your mornings?
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Tasha S · 23h
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 34m
4Give I think I really do need a 'nag' setting! And Claire I think you are right, so from today I will commit to no internet after 9pm.
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Binky B · 2d 7
Interesting day, handed in some CVs, went Pokehunting, nearly got run over (the car screeched to a halt and I put my hands straight onto the bonnet) but I walked away calmly and did some food shopping
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Binky B · 2d
Yeah it was mental, came out of nowhere. Very lucky no one was harmed, driver seemed more shocked than I was!
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Binky B · 2d
The front if the car just stopped directly in front of my legs, I felt it touch them ever so slightly...but left no mark.
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4Give 1 · 1d
Grateful you're safe. That's all that matters.
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Esther B · 1d
Geez that must be terrifying.
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sonny S · 1d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 2d
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 2d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 2d
Oh thank god it was only nearly! :o
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Sasha M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 2d 5
Slept late, despite waking up and somehow knowing that my alarm was about to go off.
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Sasha M · 2d
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 2d
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 2d
The one with positive affirmations? Wake up beautiful, etc. :)
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Shelley H · 2d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 2d
Ah, now if I'd set the affirmation alarm, maybe I would've got up. I'll try it tomorrow!
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Claire M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 3d 7
Ear piercing infected, oops. Took care. 36°. Sweating on tram. A sociable day. Met Niamh twice, walking, exploration, and her friend N, food and drinks were had. Met Kim in between! Printed CVs.
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Simon J · 3d
*Hugs*
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Jennifer M · 3d
I had that happen to me too, Had to get it repierced.
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Jeff M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Karen V · 2d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 2d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 2d
Sorry to hear that, Jennifer! Luckily mine seems to be responding well to saline solution. Fingers crossed!
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Binky B · 3d 5
Ok so I commented on several people's updates and hugged a whole bunch of people, but when I look back now the comments and hugs are gone?! This happens regularly, can chief panda please help?
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Reba C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 3d
Happens to me too sometimes, but only when I'm on laptop. Phone works fine. Would be nice to get this sorted!
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Tasha S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 1d
That happens on the app all the time. Comments just appear somewhere random..
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Binky B · 3d 6
Still managed to wake up, groggy, but morning coffee working. Playing around with Snapseed. Makes me think about when I virtually failed photography (and everything else) at college, but here's a 2nd
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Binky B · 3d
chance. Every day is a second chance.
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4Give 1 · 3d
Every moment... new choices, new possibilities. :)
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Olivia A NEW · 3d
*Hugs*
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Richard E · 3d
*Hugs*
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Blue J · 3d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 3d
*Hugs*
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A V · 3d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 4d 6
Managed to pull some things out of the proverbial bag this arvo. Join gym + workout. Join library + update my basic CV. Even got an alarm app that wakes me up with my own motivational voice recording.
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Binky B · 4d
So yeah, we'll see how that goes down in the morning. Hoping it will help motivate me to get out of bed in the morning.
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Sandra C · 4d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
I hope that works! I just recently found this 'clever alarm' thing in my mom's tablet (I'm always borrowing it because she barely uses it haha) and I find that really helpful! It wakes you up slowly with nice music (i have birds singing) and it goes
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Claire M · 4d
lower step by step. You can also set how much before it starts. Nice, gentle way of waking up! :D
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Binky B · 3d
Sounds good, it's called Clever Alarm? Maybe I'll try it. I didn't hear my alarm this morning which is a bit disappointing but luckily I still had my normal alarms set.
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Reba C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 3d
No, it's just a different setting in the normal alarm clock. But I am sure there are apps like that available tho, if your alarm clock doesn't have that kind of option. Good luck with finding a good alarm! :D
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Claire M · 3d
Oh and previously I have apparently written lower, I meant louder of course!
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Binky B · 4d 5
Time seems to slip away from me. I've done just 1 thing on my to do list and it's already 2pm. #timemanagement #priorities #todo
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Tasha S · 4d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 4d
*Hugs*
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paul M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 5d 4
Just rang mum regarding a message I got from uncle. She's letting that user 'boyfriend' live with her again. Long story but I really don't like what my mum is/was/has ever been doing. #family #mum
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Binky B · 5d
Too much BS to mention. Strong feelings from childhood and adolescence came back, with the backdrop of my mind now more mature. I'm seeing through her BS, seeing patterns, concerned how it's affecting/affected me, too.
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Binky B · 5d
It's an uncomfortable type of clarity.
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Binky B · 5d
I was honestly hoping she wouldn't answer the phone, and when she did it was worse than I imagined. She's protecting him, she even said to him, when he asked if he uses her, 'we use each other'. That's so weak. It's also the kind of
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Binky B · 5d
minimization tactic I have used before, even in contexts not dissimilar to this one, and now I know where I get it from, believe me: this makes me sick.
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Binky B · 5d
I don't want to talk to her when she has that a-hole there. Damn dysfunctional relationships. Damn them!
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Reba C · 5d
*Hugs*
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Aisling O NEW · 5d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
ugh, sorry for this :( big hugs x
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Silke V · 4d
*Hugs*
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Han M · 4d
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 4d
Lots of triggers there... and unresolved suffering you were too young, then, to process, let alone understand. Reflecting on how that dysfunction may have affected you had got to be difficult. Jeez, I'm trying to process that and it's not my history.
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4Give 1 · 4d
Sounds like you had some clarity and awareness, though. Two allies in trying to make sense of it. Holding her with love and compassion may also help. She's probably doing the best she can.like all of us, she has a deep, core need for love.
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Binky B · 4d
Thanks Claire :-) 4Give you have hit the proverbial nail on the head, once again. So many triggers. I started to clam up on the phone, she was talking about all the gifts he'd bought her and I'm just thinking 'I really couldn't care less' because I
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Binky B · 4d
can't stand that man, social services don't like their relationship either. She's trying to protect him but I know it's because she's lonely and doesn't really have anyone else. Hence, need for love. She was getting upset at the end
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Binky B · 4d
She knows I don't want to be a part of it if she's with that man. It disturbs me.
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Binky B · 4d
'It' meaning the situation she is in with that man.
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Binky B · 5d 6
Ok so, there were 5 Jynx in the park, lol. Then met old boss/colleagues..bosses took me out for drinks and pizza, was awesome. Then colleague gave me a lift home after with shopping. #skinpicking tho
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Tasha S · 5d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Han M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Erika W NEW · 4d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 5d 4
Chatted to a mate who's Thailand, he's always getting used by Thai women and he never learns. I'm starting to really get sick of hearing about it. Don't like to admit it, but he's such a loser :(
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4Give 1 · 5d
Ouch.
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Binky B · 5d
It's been going on for years and years now. I really can't respect him.
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Erik L NEW · 5d
*Hugs*
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Alma B · 5d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 5d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 5d
Ouch. That must be painful and frustrating to hear
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Binky B · 5d
Yeah it is. I get frustrated because I try to help him, but things don't seem to change. I know I shouldn't get to caught up in it, but it's hard to be present with someone who keeps making the same mistakes. Recently he (35) wasdating a 17 year old
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Binky B · 5d
Lucky things didn't get serious, sadly she was playing him and couldn't care less about him but why does he keep doing these things? It's like he's addicted to these women. Now, he's with someone his own age, but still it seems he changes
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Binky B · 5d
his girlfriend more often than he changes his underpants...
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Tasha S · 5d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 5d 5
#overslept feel groggy
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Stephen K · 5d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 5d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 5d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 6d 6
Unpacked. Drank several hot beverages. Actually sat down and gave some thought to my life vision. Met housemates, Japanese, nice. Went for a walk, restless. Ready meals. Male attention annoying me.
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Binky B · 6d
Also decided to do some shifts at old work place if poss. Visiting them tomorrow. Also emailed someone who might be able to get me more work.
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Stephen K · 6d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 6d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 6d
*Hugs*
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Sandra C · 6d
*Hugs*
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Nicky W · 5d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 4d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 6d 6
Feeling ok. Hostel breakfast so unorganized, ugh. Packing, checking out and #moving to my new place today. It's gonna be so good to finally have my own room again, and it's a nice one this time.
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Shelley H · 6d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 6d
No more crazy landlord or dirty room. Everything has just been renovated. Yes, it's 8km from the CBD, but it's so much nicer than my last place.
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Stephen K · 6d
*Hugs*
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Karen V · 6d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 6d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 6d
Happy for you :) How long you'll stay thre, any plans yet?
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Tasha S · 6d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 6d
Thanks, Claire! I'll stay here until my visa runs out in 5 months, then I'll go back to the UK for a bit. In the mean time, I'm going to get a myself a job.
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Claire M · 6d
I see. Good luck with job hunt!
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Nicky W · 5d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 7d 5
#Hungover but surviving. Went to Banksy exhibition with girls from hostel, then art gallery. Then napped for hours, oof. Watched The #Hangover for the first time, declined going out again. #headache
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Stephen K · 6d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 6d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 6d
*Hugs*
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Nicky W · 5d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 5d
Ha I love the hangover. How was Banksy?
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Binky B · 5d
Banksy was pretty good thanks Esther! It was curated by Banksy's old manager (Banksy himself isn't really the exhibition type) but it was good to learn more about Banksy and see some of his works. Brought back memories from my college days.
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Binky B · 12 Jan 2017 7
What a night. Met with old friend and his mates, ABC, dancing, food, drink then more good. Girl was complimenting me, full on way. I didn't say no to French guy, so now he has my number oops. #fun
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Sandra C · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 7d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 7d
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 7d
Your life sounds so nice Binky, always nice little adventures you are on! Love reading these haha
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Tasha S · 7d
*Hugs*
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Nicky W · 5d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 5d
Haha exactly my thoughts
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Esther B · 5d
Sounds like fun!
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Binky B · 12 Jan 2017 8
I found a room! I'm so excited, relieved and happy! Yay! :'-)
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Claire M · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 12 Jan 2017
Yay great!!!
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Tasha S · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 7d
*Hugs*
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Nicky W · 5d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 11 Jan 2017 6
Only drank 2 beers last night.but feel a little hungover today. Wow.
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Richard E · 11 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Marie S · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 12 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 11 Jan 2017 7
Viewed some interesting rooms, in Coburg, CBD and South Yarra. Went to Queen Vic market with Sophie, then to a couple of bars. Talked a bit about my family, both our aunties have MS. #commonground
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Jeff M · 11 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 11 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017 5
Where has Clint gone and is he coming back? Does anyone know? Feel like MP is lacking his presence!
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Binky B · 11 Jan 2017
Ok, I was hoping he would come back eventually, bit gutted he never did.
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Binky B · 11 Jan 2017
Thanks for all your responses <3
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Binky B · 11 Jan 2017
What is Clint's Instagram? I think I have him on there but I can't find him
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4Give 1 · 12 Jan 2017
Please send him my best as well. I'm formerly Peace1. Going through a metamorphosis. Maybe he'll come back with a different name.
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Esther B · 10 Jan 2017
He's still on Instagram Binky.. but I guess he really left
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Jeff M · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 Jan 2017
I think Claire said he left MP. :(
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Luna G · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Myself T · 10 Jan 2017
I was wondering the same thing...
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Silke V · 10 Jan 2017
Yes he left a few weeks ago, and said to Claire that he woun't come back.
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Claire M · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 10 Jan 2017
He has left and is not coming back unfortunately :( I definitely agree with you. So sad when pandas leave, but at least we know he is still ok, with many other pandas that's not the case, when they just disappeared :/
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Claire M · 10 Jan 2017
I screenshotted this to him to tell that he is missed and he says thanks to you all who miss him :)
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017 5
Did laundry. Visited two share flats. Maybe CBD not for me, nor share rooms. Ate mostly healthily. Still internet overload. Information overload. Missing cuddles from A, but remembering difficulties.
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
Yesterday he messaged me wanting to meet, but I declined. He said I'm scared of him, because I asked if he wanted to kiss and cuddle me (to find out if he still does, but I know he does) and he knows deep down that I don't want that.
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
So he didn't really give me a direct answer, just said we have a 'history'. Also I was speaking with the Russian guy and we got talking about relationships, he said he's into polyamory.
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
And when he told me that I actually felt disappointment, even though we were just a one night stand. This tells me that maybe I'm looking for something more meaningful after all. Maybe I always was but just lost sight of it somewhat.
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
He's not the best looking guy, but that's okay. I like that he's successful, fun, into good conversations, likes similar things to me, easy going. So at least I'm learning more. Always learning. I'd like to be his friend. Wouldn't want to get caught
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
up in an open relationship style thing with him, I don't think it would happen really, but I was in one before for 3 years and I don't think it was the best use of my time, though the guy was lovely and we are still friends now. I did get a bit jealous
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
I still need to catch up on my written diary, look at me posting so much on here! I mean, really!
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Claire M · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 10 Jan 2017
I think it's great youre thinking these things. As you said, always learning!
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K P · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 09 Jan 2017 5
Unusual, I actually don't feel hungry: due to low mood? Bought healthy food, but decided to continue fast til breakfast tomorrow. On a bright note, I returned 2 separate lost items, phone + sunglasses
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Jeff M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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K P · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Dora M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 09 Jan 2017 4
Fast is going pretty well. Easier than expected. Feeling a bit down tho, haven't left the hostel today. Going to view some rooms tomorrow and practise coffee making. Still feeding internet addiction
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Binky B · 09 Jan 2017
Just feeling lost and overwhelmed. I really think when I am in a routine it will be better.
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Karen V · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 09 Jan 2017
Sounds like the missing need is something like grounding- not in a place or routine or externality, but an inner anchoring to something more fundamental... or so it reads to me. Just guessing here.
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Binky B · 09 Jan 2017
It's timely that you made this observation, because I was thinking about how my life feels almost completely lacking in purpose, yet I have multiple conflicting ideas, which might as well mean no idea, how to cultivate such things.
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Adam B NEW · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 09 Jan 2017
You're on your path. Some never leave the comforts of home and stagnate. The confusion, doubt, and indecision you're experiencing may very well resolve to clarity of purpose. Like dissonance & tension in music, it moves us & resolves back to the root
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4Give 1 · 09 Jan 2017
You're asking questions with your whole being. The answerwill unfold in its time.
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Adam B NEW · 09 Jan 2017
I learned a superb question this week, really helped as I was feelling purposeless too. Instead of needing to have 'mission', she asked me how I would be feeling/thinking/doing the future me that looks forward to waking. up each day.
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Adam B NEW · 09 Jan 2017
... it's really great to just zen out in the shower and imagine I'm already there. I've made some really great imaginative connections to ideas and started planning things I wouldn't have thought of otherwise.
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Claire M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jan 2017
Good that it's going well! I thought about it/you today :)
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4Give 1 · 10 Jan 2017
I like that Adam. I came across a somewhat similar practice. We review our lives and attempt to tease out the one theme that connects it all. We try to articulate, as best we can, that purpose. Then we imagine a future where we are living out of that
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
Thank you, Peace (4Give 1) and Adam for your insights. I'll ponder that question, Adam. Thanks for reminding me that I'm on the right path, 4Give
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
I was reading something yesterday on Brain Pickings blog about finding clarity in older years... I just wish I could find it now!
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
And thank you for your story, as always, dear Claire
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Binky B · 10 Jan 2017
*support not story, damn autocorrect!
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Adam B NEW · 11 Jan 2017
Cool! The other thing I like to do is stand in front of a mirror, and reach out to that me. Then I imagine I'm in that me, reaching out to present day me, and send good vibes and whatever else is needed. Then flip back to present me and receive them.
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Binky B · 09 Jan 2017 5
Decided to try fasting today, on a whim, until sunset. Only had a small breakfast, so I expect it will be even more challenging. Will drink water only, giving my digestion a break. #fasting #firsttry
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Reba C · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Lucy M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Maria K · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 08 Jan 2017 5
I just woke and I'm so tired.
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akshay g NEW · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Ann S · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 09 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 08 Jan 2017 6
Long day driving from Sydney to Melbourne, but was interesting chatting to our driver, he's Pakistani. Very nice man indeed.
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Claire M · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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sonny S · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 07 Jan 2017 5
#justwoke I actually got an early night for once :-) slept like a log, just woke up once because of mosquito bite. Dang they're itchy...
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Tasha S · 07 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Han M · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 08 Jan 2017
*Hugs*
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