Flamin eck dont make so much a fuss about it lol cheers fo :Dx
HAHAHA Happy Birthday Steve!!
Happy birthday :-)
happy birthday xx
Thanks :) its very very kind of you all :D x
Welcome back! :)
Wow!!youve been released!that must be a good thing right :D
Awww Nicole, how has it been?
Yes, welcome back! Sorry to hear about the rest.
Ahhhh thanks guys! Feeling pretty good today! U lot get me through!
that's great!!! glad we can be here to help Nicola :)
hi nic welcome back hun how r u
I'm not like these noisy people with no grip on reality! It's so scary! Steve, mark, TW , anyone please help me! :'( x100000
Yes, I meant all 3.
Hang in there Nicola... Life may take a long time but it'll get better eventually.
Thank you rux! Wish ur hugs were real!xx
Aww babe, hang on in there. I know its hard but we are gere for you. You have my number..... Anytime day or nite xxxxxxxxx
You're more than welcome. Find one of the REALLY crazy people and call them Rux then ask for hugs! Hang in there.
they are all there to help and make you feel better, hang in there. It sounds like you have the support you need at the moment, we're all here for you as well xx
so sorry to hear that babe hang in there xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wtf!!thats gona be an interesting little holiday! You might get lucky and meet brad pitt from 12monkeys film :D that was his best ever acting lol princess your just gonna have to hang in there and
Do what the docs tell you etc like im sure theyl be properly concerned with helping you as apose to all those movies we watch an the docs n staff are always drugging you up n just leaving you lying around sedated etc n
Theres a night Porter guy that always abuses all the girl patients etc etc im totally convinced that none of that happens nowadays :) xxx
Nic dont stop coming on here i/we want atleast one daily update so we can still chat n stuff xxx and dont worry you wont be forgotten about :) if they try to lock you away send us the details and wel totally setup a little Ateam squad and break you out :D
I can do that tom cruise bit and come down the airvents suspended on a rope to the mission impossible music in headphones :) xxx meantime i suggest really relaxing and trying to heal :) xxx
A step in the right Direction Nic, im so proud of you please dont be angry with yourself. It shows there is a part of you that is ready to accept help X-D xxx
The ole hidden noose!!always a winner when you bring a new date home after the movies for coffee and they find it under the sofa :D
Im kidding :) welldone nic im proud of you :D you gotta let it all out i reckon before you can start to repair properly :) x
Your a beautiful amazing woman i know these things already an weve only been friends a couple weeks :) you know maybe we fall over in life so we can become great at picking ourselves back up so we can go forth and become brilliant in the future xxx
N your gonna have a brilliant future princess :) trust tracy :p x
Well said Trace ;-)
Cheers pops :D lol
big hugs to u sweetie xxxxx
Hey nic :) x jee i totally say too much on here i think sometimes lol i just lost my inbox if you had spoke to me in one btw
Tut and there me thinking you hate me!. How are you! Done any good?x
Erf :S... can take this like a new adventure it could be great! Just relax and t
and take time for yourself ;) ... Hold on honney!!! Hold on!!!
I always be here for you.. like other Pandas!!!! XXXX
Not sure perhaps she is tired n just sleeping all day or something :)
Nicola nicola sweet sweet nicola :p have you ever used a taser ive always wanted to be tasered to see how much i can resist it :p haha (u have to read that imagining i was singing it to you in an opera stylee)lol it was very vic reeves lol
hi nic how u feeling today?
Steve ur Tracy! Unless u have serious mental health issues then the is no way u be able to resist' lol! Steve my job was meant to be our secret! Lol! I'm now imaging u look like vic reeves!x what u been up to today?x
Am I'm ok thank you. Very nervous about tonight as tonight Iv got to have a meting with my social work, nurse and counsellor . They said I have to tell my parents everything about how I feel! If I don't then they take me...
To hospital! If I do tell them tho then they said the doctor might make me go Hosp on Monday anyway! No nice . I'm too ashamed of myself! X
Ah sorry i just cant resist the thought of you as a female superhero protecting the city haa :D i dont look like vic reeves lol im too young looking for my age :)
oh nic i am so sorry chin up though if u wanna chat am here xxxxxxx
Oh Steve, your not Tracy! Well only at the weekends maybe! It was meant to say... Steve ur crazy!xxx
I have spend the afternoon very lazily and relaxingly alone shaving and then lying in the bath following the football scores to see how my yahoo fantasy football team is doing :p im still in the bath actually hahaaa :p and u?
Theyre thinking about putting you in the hospital to stay a while!? You do t have to be ashamed :) although i know its hard not to think like that x you gotta write down everything youve ever felt if you cant say it and then give it to the doc xxx
I knew u meant crazy lol lol x
steve u r good at giving advice and nic m we r all behind u u shouldnt feel ashamed
Thanks anne marie lol ive just over excited you abit with that bath chat aint :p
Ahh thnk you Ann! Your so kind! What you done today Ann? Steve, that is one long bath by sounds of it! I can't have my phone in the bath coz I'm wayyy to clumsy! I haven't even checked my fantasy football! We do a fiends and family....
lol steve ur crazy but sound like a very nice bloke
yr welcome nic ive done buggar all cause i cant go out, what have u been doing did u get my email addy
One! There's just over 40 of us so 1st prize can be up to 500 quid sometimes! I got the mounted wooden spoon again last year! Anyone up for a big hug?!
Yea im in a wee league with some friends and assosiates of my brother lol its my first ever one. Its great fun. Did you get a wooden spoon cause girls belong in the kitchen !!hehee :p yea i once decided to have a bath one morning when i
Came home drunk and i was chatting to someone and i fell asleep and drowned my phone lol im fine fo cause im amphibious :p
Hugs to Nicola M, and any one else wot wants em, even u Tracy ;-)
My thankyou kind sir il have to flash you my suspenders sometime :p
lol steve ur sooooooo funny
Thanks! Ha ha to mark! Bet Tracy loves it! Isn't it sweet we have a nick name so early on in our panda relationships!x now what can we call Mr D and the lovely Ann ? ;)
I smashed my iPhone4s on the very first day of getting! But that makes a change coz they normally end up down the toilet, even wen I'm soba! Falls out my work trousers pocket! And i still haven't learnt my lesson!
Ann I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have help, like psychologist/ counsilor?x
i have a mental health nurse nic but they tried to push me onto reablement i said no so they r getting bk to me mon
Call me Daddy lol, makes me feel all nuturing like and Steve, if you want any womens clothes I know a couple of guys who could hook u up ;-)
Ann what is reablement? Iv not heard of that on! Sounds like ur nurse isn't doing enough for you!x
Ha ha! Can I call u pops insteads then coz that's Moore homely! X
reablement is where they put u in classes like cooking etc nic i agree they arnt doing enough for me
I can luve with pops lol ;-)
Errr to classes wen u can't step outside the front door! Pffft! Nhs and that allll over! Idiots! You need someone to come to ur house at first surely! That's what my lil sis had wen she was young! Ann what ur email address again!
and how do they expect you to go
Err don't no how that sentence dropped out that post! Sorry! On and Ann, sorry to hear about mummy and hub! Not what you need right now is it!x
Ohhhhh and that's pops! X lol! Wonder where Tracy is!x
And wot about u Nicimoo? Lol
my email addy is email@example.com, thanks nic i am sick of them fighting all the time u see i live with parents so i am unsure if i want sum 1 to come out to my house
Feel a waste of peeps time and so ashamed!xxx
Itll be okay
Hey gorgeous :) your a great gal just give it your best shot an youl be back on your feet eventually an we can laugh about this stuff in the future :D now lets watch graham norton :) x
hi nic m did u get my email addy?
I must agree... These people are there to help you, but they can't if you don't let them approach you, if you don't give them a chance to try... and the better way is to be honest with them...
i wanna help nic m sum 1 to chat too
I know it's really not easy to do... It's stressful... but it's for the best...
They are not there to judge you just to help ;) ... Like us ;) XXX
I have a councilor and I'm 13 and struggle with the option of living but trust me if you tell them then they WILL help you . So open up coz if u do things will get better :)
Nicola I know life's hard cause the world just gets worse everyday and I can't sleep either but u know u have to keep floating even though u realy want to sink
stay strong because u are even if u don't realize it just yet..
Just hang on there ... Let the feeling pass
Hang in there Nicola. Tomorrow a new day.
Hang in there! I know life sucks and we think we know how it is, but I don't know but I'll support you every step of the way! ^_^ cause we all deserve a fighting chance!
Times are tough especially when it comes to this point. Look how many people care about you that don't even know you, think about how much the people who actually do know you must care
You are loved. It's hard to believe that it's enough but life is worth fighting for. Hope you feel better and got some sleep *hugs*
When I want to die, when I'm ***al, there is one thing taht really help me... I just stop to consider death as an option of my problems...
I erase this thought of my mind and I do something else, I try to be concentrate on something else, anything...
It's not easy, but it help... Maybe that could help you too ;)
Hold on Nicola!!! Don't forget we are here ;) XXX
If you dare do anything silly again im gonna come down there n smack your ass girly :D x
Yah Nicola don't u dare give up
Where else in the world would would this happen other than mood panda!xxxx
I've felt the same exact thing! Even though I don't know anyone on here, hugs and comments are uplifting, supportive, and I don't feel so alone.
I'm with u guys it's like the only thing that gets me through my tough times
i agree with kim k
Hugs to you to marky d! How are you today? X
Thank you lovely caring panda peeps!!! Xxx
assage for medical reason. not lookin forward to it! pure agony:( hope you pandas are we'll!! x
Hope massage goes well x try to enjoyeeee :)
Hey pandas. Thank you! Just got back from massage! Hopefully will sort my head for a feel ours too! Always feel my mind is more peaceful after!.......
So Ann , Shakti, Stevie j and TW! How have your days been? How are your moods? Hope the are good!x
my days are so terrible i want hubby out i have a phobia of going out. how r u nicola m
Ahhh! That's such a shame! My little sister was agriphobic from when she was 13 to 23! She is 25 now!at first she couldn't even leave her bedroom! Are you getting help? What happens if you try to go out? U don't have to talk if u don't want to!x
Hmm my days been oryt i guess thanx for asking xxx i feel like i have suffered a kind of agoraphobia over the years from being down like i couldnt go out the door without sheer panic building inside n i just wont go out
If i stepped out back accross the door line it felt like just overcome with a complete irrational fear of everything cant explain it really.longest inside i spent 6-8months x
Oh no! I posted string but now it's gone! I'll start again!....
Steve, really missed ya mate!xx! Agoraphobia is awful. I didn't go out for about 6mnths wen I was young! Don't know if it was agoraphobia! I had this overwhelming fear, just she panic! I was petrified that if my parents went out them something would.....,
Happen to them and they would die. And if I was home alone then ii would die and no one would be there! I still get the feeling something bad is gana hopping now! If u don't mind we asking. What's going through ur head wen u think of going out! C
I think the main thing was fear of seeing other people and them seeing me when all i wanted to do was lock myself away from view. Completely irrational like and i knew it but couldnt stop it.
Btw missed you too nic :D now get to sleep cause its soo late :) xxx
Steve I tried the sleeping. Tried my relaxation cd but keep wakin after its finished! My crisis team have lost my sleeping pills!lol. So im up with my pandas tonight!x
When I wouldn't go out it also had a lot do with people seeing how ugly am! Am I was beaten up by girl in school a lot and convinced she would kill me. Or even worse laugh at me at call me names!every time ....
I heard someone laugh I thought it was at me! But now look at me! I got strong and tough and don't take no *** from anyone and I became a ****** ( Steve, not a prison warden)
in the most violent borough in the uk ! Until I had my recent break down after my illness! Whichs makes me so embarrassed to have such bad depression. For yeasts now Iv been the funny bubbly tough out going girl! Now I'm just a mess and the only thing
Thaat maks me smile are my pandas! Especially a few special ones! One of them being steve!
Would love to hear from Ann again too. But I bet she got bored of reading our/my usual dribble and run a mile! :)! X
I knew it lol wpc nicola haha actually a big turn on a tall action hero police gal :D ive fancied being one myself over the years.haha Always fot i was mel gibson in lethal weapon or bruce willis in die hard lol :p
Yea theres no reason to be embarressed nic x i think thats a big one with depression n mental style issues the shame n embarressment you feel about it like if it was a broken leg youd no be fussed but with this you feel so
Vunerable and inadequate less Of a person you cant tell anyone etc. but thats all the negative issues of the brain its not true your still anazing you :) always x
Like ive never been bullied just opposite been happy popular attractively thought of an confident n strong n highly athletic n very alpha male but i guess i had little insecurities bubbling away within me my whole life that i burried and they
NIC M thats where ur wrong i wanna keep in touch too heres my email addy firstname.lastname@example.org
Eventually start to crack and need to come out and be dealt with before i/we all can move onwards n upwards fru our lifes journey n develop n grow :)
wil u email me nic m then we can chat
TWP, Steve J and Mark D have all had a feeling good day! Xxxxxx
Hugs to u too lucy! I love a hug urs is extra big and amazing!c
^___^ Thank you! :D
Do you have no roof?
Waaaaaassaaaapppp :p been worried about you not a peep from you lol was close to calling mi5 to move in on your location and see you was oryt :D
Ha ha, that would be nice for sunny days wouldn't it! I have very big windows that open right up!x
Lol, I'm so under cover Steve even MI5 wouldn't find me! How's ur day been? Peeps must get fed up with us writi si
Witing all over everything. X
Lol yea i was worried about that too the other day lol sick of seeing our names pop up in inboxes lol like earlier i think i just hugged everyone on the whole page lol haaa
You ok? Sounds like a peaceful day u was having :) was that a medication assisted sedation day :p
Like im pic'n you sit there alll day solid just not moving tongue dripping out the side of your mouth like a well exercised dog ha staring up fascinated by the sparkling pink tree leaves n rainbows in the sky :D x
I was less active n productive today than i wanted to be but a starts a start right :) clocked up 674calories in a jog which ive since added back with those choc brownies i made the other day :P
I was up earlier fo, so im hoping tonight il get a good sleep n be up early-ish n get a gd day in.
But less me more you :) hows you doing?x
The girls next to me were having a good ol laugh at my expense! So self conscious! And the worst thing, sisters and friends who dragged me there reckon they are making me go again next week. Feel relieved it's over but already worrying about next week! :(
Ahhh if it means anything I have 0clue about dancing I look lik a chicken with its head cut off
I do Zumba at school, most of the time people are laughing at how ridiculous they think they look. I can't dance to save my life but try to enjoy Zumba, it's relatively fun for excercise c
Haaaaa sounds ace i bet youl love it after a few shots :D u have to definately go next time x mainly cause your almost certainly gonna feel btr afterwards once your home :)
How goes it lovely one? :) u had the docs n that come see you today? How u feeling :D
If there are others out there who are ***al, but can play totally different character when surrounded by others! Including counsellor!
Two cuddles :)
Ive only ever visited my doctor and the initial psychiatrist referral when ive been in a gd state. At my lowest points you wont hear from me or see me il just become a hermit and ride it out till im btr again.
I was like that! But I'm learning talking helps! I didn't leave home for 6 months! Maybe you should talk to ur ...
Doc re halving meds! I got so so I'll wen I done that! Just worried u will get I'll too! You should be being monitored surely! What is physiatrist doing for you?
Yea i have been the same in the past, like i think the longest i never went outside was like the same 6ish months or more.couldnt even stand out the back i opened the door and it was like my senses were overcome with everything.
Now that ive seen my new doctor fo an she suggested the diary and ive been in btr form last year i think il perhaps try going to see a proper psychologist or something this year regularly
To chat n tap there brain for knowledge :p im pretty sure thatl be really good and helpful to get another perspective on everything someone who deals with this stuff with others etc
i don't tell anyone if i'm ***al at all, not even moodpanda
Yea if i have a really bad down the chances are il stop coming on here til im btr again. But i like to think that i would still come on for a hug or something maybe get some strength or so from the feelings of total aloneness
Becs if you are ever really bad you can post on like an old post of mine that doesnt have anyone on it and then u dont have to share it with the universe :) and il give u a hug n itl maybe help :D x
Its not so bad chatting bout stuff afterwards when your fine but dont feel like you need to be a stranger and alone when your at your worst :)
Stay calm x your in control and safe right! X
I am but a little angry! They won't answer the phone! It's meant to be a 24/7 number and an emergency number! Huff!x
True thats alil irresponsible perhaps something has happened like the phone lines were cut off or something, youve got all us and you can try seeing someone tomorrow x lets all huff together in in unity on the count of three...HUFFF! :) x
I called them at about 8 and they were going home! They said they forgot about me coz the doc got called away! Wow that just drenchs me in hope! X
Me thinks someone is gonna want her own puppy by this evening :D
Belmarsh london warden?lol :) how was the puppy day care centre this avo? :)
My mum said I can get a puppy after my sisters wedding in April! We have always had dogs anyway! But my last dog died months back!! The dog was naughty....
In seconds she had emptied a bin bag over the whole house!:)