Now you're presentable, likable, and dead. We were told that great parts of us did not belong in the classroom, in the pews, or at the dinner table. We exiled the parts we once treasured:
the child awestruck with wonder, the kid with the dumb questions, the mercurial activist, the passionate lover. At some point, maybe you'll reject the world with a polite but sincere 'F*ck you!' and reclaim the lost parts of the self. hehe
Paraphrasing Aldous Huxley- You cannot achieve wholeness unless and until you realize your true nature (plural/multitudinous), discover and liberate the spirit within and unite with the All-That-Is.
emotional arousal and other unconscious, interdependent processes become primed in a conditioned way which shorthands as, 'I am sad' or 'Im ok.'
My dream last night was I was on a canal boat which was being driven expertly by a middle aged blind woman. There were seagulls smoking cigarettes and the water was purple.
Those sort of dreams are tough, Love - strange how potent their effect on our reality is - big hugs. John - I wish I had your dreams!
Chain smoking seagulls. Blind navigators. Man, I love it. I appreciate the creativity and humor of that one. Thanks, Cindy. I appreciate the empathy. Thx for the hugs, pandas.
Luckily it was just a dream Or must I say nightmare?
Nightmare w/ a high probability of becoming a reality.
Oops I'm so dumb... I just realised who you probably meant...
I was sat thinking what is jc??? Sorry...
lol and I didn't even figure out what/who jc is until reading your comments, John. :D
I'm just too embarrassed, it's potentially a little bit offensive not to realise. I don't know what to say... I'm honestly just stupid! I'm sorry Love1!
Especially with stained glass mentioned.. I mean what does 2 + 2 =... well apparently it's 'Twelvety' in my head. I'm going to shut up for the rest of the night. I could say his name in vain but I don't want to stir the pot!
I don't think he'll be offended, don't worry. I'm not religious and it's not my mother tongue and I think you really can't expect everyone to know everything. Even if Christianity is widespread. I think it's all fine. :)
Mostly only old ladies are Christian in the UK really anymore. I like the morals and community kindness if not preaching and other aspects. I over-reacted.
*there's lots of Christianity in Northern Ireland actually, but it's the war kind not the good kind.
I appreciate your consideration & respect for tradition, John. Def not offended. I may also be painting Fudo Myoo (Buddhism), Huitzilopochtli (Aztec), Saraswati, Hanuman or Ganesha (Hinduism), Islamic calligraphy, African motifs.
I love art and have plenty of wall space. Hoping to do some wood working, glass. Eyeing a CNC router to work on trim.
Thanks it relief your not offended I felt I was digging myself a hole... Some of the worlds and most beautiful art is religious art so good luck! More importantly enjoy doing the painting itself. Painting is something I find very therapeutic.
I have a deep respect for the religions & traditions of the world past and present. Through art, I bow to our common human heritage. I 3D printed a dimmer light switch of an Olmec and a hatch cover for my kayak of Maui, the Polynesian demigod.
Art is therapy. It connects me to what is most beautiful. Sounds like you enjoy creating as well.
That sounds good and it seems you have a real passion for all types of art. I mostly just do simple abstract line drawings, but I enjoy it. That's all I need to get out of a hobby.
I love how you said that: 'I enjoy it. That's all I need to get out of a hobby.' You strike me as very intelligent, self aware & well rounded. Seems you're also into music and film, books... guessing theres a lot of depth there.
'Potentially unstable, nonfunctional, and at times living on another planet' is an alternative description for the non-self-aware times my mental health gives me. Nonetheless, I'm very flattered by your kind compliment. Thank you.
I hope you can embrace the unstable, nonfunctional, not-of-this-world selves. I sometimes think the most fragile and vulnerable parts of ourselves are also the most innocent and beautiful. Can we draw out the beauty of who we are? Thats art 2
I agree to extent. It's just stuff that happens and I gotta live it one day at a time, and cope best as I can.
Living in day tight compartments seems wise.
I think it is until I get back my feet, but I learnt a lesson many times, that due to my mental health, ambition is a slow process.
Your project sounds fantastic, wish I could see it!
Ill post to Instagram when im done. Do you have an ig acct?
Do we need an identity? Who says so? May we simply not just 'be'?
Without an identity, what would I call you? We need a name for starters. We're attached to this. In my country, we have social security numbers, titles, roles, ethnicities, religions etc. Most are attached to these and identify with externals
Is that how you would define an identity then? Starting with a label.. indeed interesting. What you describe here is a definition 'we' (I shan't expand upon that) would partly use for Culture. Strong crossovers and not dissimilar to identity.
How are you defining 'delusional' exactly?
Intellect is one facet of mind, but not the tool I use for exploring this. But ill give it a go knowing words are symbols only. C-o-w gives no milk. D-u-n-g has no stench.
I would not define identity as nationality, ethnicity, gender, etc but we become attached. Most people identify w/a label. We define ourselves in this way. But the essence of who we is beyond labels. When we were zygotes in mommas womb, there was
something pulsing inside of us that knew to replicate, assigning this cell as a brain stem that cell as skin, that cell would be the seed of a foot. That power that is in us is beyond the imprisoning limitations & definitions of our puny intellect
We are born. What a wonder, what a mystery! As we get older, we are defined by others, indoctrinated, labelled. At some point, we choose to identify as this or that and not this, not that. Its a game of sorts which we take very seriously.
If you criticize, attack, offend, or disrespect one of these constructs Im invested in, I will defend and attack. I might even kill. Is this delusional? We dont even know who we are, but are willing to fight and kill for thought forms.
When you say 'we' (I shant expand on that)' you may not have to. Who is to say 'I' am not expansive, made up of interdependent self states, a 'we,' connected, multi-dimensional, parts unknown to the conscious mind?
I deeply appreciate this, Aspie. All the while the Mystery continues to pulse inside of me, independent of whatever i think. The heart beats; I am breathed. The mind secretes thought after thought after thought.
Im going to rest in silence & enjoy this unfolding, sinking beneath the chatter of thinking, watching the rise and fall of it all- while I still have life in me and conscious awareness to appreciate this gift of life.
Fascinating! I'm following you 😁
I hoped you would.
And you intrigue me further!! Why did you hope so?
Lots of reasons: 1. I like the moniker Aspie, 2. I appreciate your probing/inquiring mind, 3. I like the 'we' line & the line about just being, 4. assuming you've felt out of sorts on this Earth plane, 5. your women issues (hehe). I worship them.
So, in return for your gift of inquiry, I hoped my gift of mumbo jumbo would be received in the spirit of goodwill with which it was given.
I appreciate your honest response. Thanking you kindly :)
Hope you slept well, Love.
Thanks, Manda. I did. I have been sleeping well most nights-probably why my moods have been consistently positive. Sleep is one of the first conditions. My sense of well-being is affected by simple things over which I have control- like sleep
That's great! Now that I have a sleeping pill I sleep straight through the night & man, what a difference that makes. I actually wake up & feel ready to tackle the day.
Manda thats good sleep is so important
Thanks, Maria. It is so important for everyone & even extra important for someone like me with Bipolar Disorder. I don't want to come off the sleeping pill, but I think I'll have to soon. 😔
Was expecting her to turn tail and strike back. Instead I get, 'women wont surrender to a man even though it is what every woman I know wants.'
Wow, great start to the day! I have trouble with 15 minutes meditation in the morning, but I'm working on it! Interesting thought from her...
So shes receptive. I can have her in my bed next week if I chose, but my energy is to protect. Just heightens desire. Most women want what they cant have.
Anyway, my moral code forbids sex w/o love, a vow Ive violated many times. But Im more focused on completing my earthly work, providing for my children and family, and safeguarding their well-being.
You have your own kick @$$ spiritual discipline, brother... especially the way you work. You transcend limits, pain, thoughts of quitting.
You're going to have her begging, Love!