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  1579 days
  20493 hugs
  224 followers
3 Esther B
4h ·
Watched Amsterdam marathon. Back home feeling extra sad and lousy because I couldn't even run half the marathon. Stupid injuries. Stupid body. I hate it.
me M
3h ·

*Hugs*

John T
3h ·

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Penelope P
3h ·

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Jeff M
2h ·

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Maite P
2h ·

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Silke V
7m ·

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4 Esther B
3d ·
Still injured. No 21k for me this weekend. Too bad I've trained this much for nothing. Well, almost nothing..
Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

Aw bummer! I'm so disappointed for you! But there are others! You can get over this injury and get ready for the next one!

Maite P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

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Manda P
3d ·

Oh, no! That is terrible news. So sorry to hear that, Esther. Remember to be proud of yourself for all the training you did! And rest up! xx

Silke V
3d ·

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Robert H
3d ·

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Reba H
3d ·

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Cindy M
2d ·

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5 Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·
weekend at friends place, beautiful nature. Pelvis still not right. Afraid that I can't race next Sunday. Will call physiotherapist tomorrow.
John T
7d ·

*Hugs*

John T
7d ·

Always more races, Esther. Enjoy the nature and your friends company, this just means you'll come back stronger and faster next time!

nixiblu .
7d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
7d ·

Thanks John Cindy and Nixi. 🐼

Esther B
7d ·

And I know John but I've been preparing for this one for so long..

Lydia R
7d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
7d ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
7d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
6d ·

I have faith that you'll be able to do it, Esther! I'm 'rooting for you!

Margot L
6d ·

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Reba H
3d ·

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5 Esther B
11 Oct 2018 ·
Leg has been sore since 10k run. Hopefully I can still run half marathon October 21st. Feeling tired all the time, been sleeping a lot
Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

Do lots of good stretches...hope it will be ok for your race too! Have you run half marathons before?

John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

Wholewheat pasta, wholemeal rice, frietjes! Keep the fuel levels high! Be sensible if you're injured, there's always another day. If you heal up, think of all the miles you've put in the last 12 months, smash it!

Cindy M
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
11 Oct 2018 ·

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Reba H
12 Oct 2018 ·

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Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

Hope your leg feels better soon. xx

Esther B
13 Oct 2018 ·

No Jeff I haven't. Have been training for 21k. Running 3 times a week now. But it wasn't my leg apparently but my pelvis!

Jeff M
13 Oct 2018 ·

Ooo, exciting, Esther! I bet you'll do great! Do a lot of stretches for those sore muscles, and you'll get there.

Lydia R
7d ·

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Silke V
7d ·

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7 Esther B
07 Oct 2018 ·
10K cityrun today. New PR on 5 and 10 km. Finished in 55.05
John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

Great time! You're faster than me!

DesBear D
07 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
07 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
07 Oct 2018 ·

Woo!

Silke V
08 Oct 2018 ·

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Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

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Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

Great!

Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

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Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

Wow, way to go! :) That's awesome!!

Reba H
10 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
10 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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Silke V
7d ·

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4 Esther B
02 Oct 2018 ·
Headache
Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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John T
04 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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6 Esther B
30 Sep 2018 ·
90 min run. First time ever! πŸ˜„
nixiblu .
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
30 Sep 2018 ·

Wow. Go girl

Robert H
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

WHOA!! Way to go, Esther! That's incredible! xx

Jeff M
01 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
01 Oct 2018 ·

Great job! Happy to see you feeling good from a good run! I love that feeling after a good run... Keep it up!

Tuxi A
01 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
01 Oct 2018 ·

Wow! I'd be dead after 10 minutes... ^^

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
05 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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3 Esther B
29 Sep 2018 ·
Had a beer all by myself. Shameful. Not good with men. End up all alone
Robert H
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Keeping Track A
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John W
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Sep 2018 ·

Aw, Esther, I'm sure you won't end up alone. :(

John T
30 Sep 2018 ·

πŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ’·πŸ§”πŸ» Here you go barman, 2 pints please. πŸ§”πŸ»πŸΊπŸΊπŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I've got a round in Esther. Cheers! πŸ•΅πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ»πŸ‘©πŸ». I've got to go to the opticians, using this magnifying glass is no substitute for glasses. Oh look, a cat 🐈. Keep trying Esther.

John T
30 Sep 2018 ·

You'll get there.

Manda P
30 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

Haha John you've made me laugh :)

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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5 Esther B
28 Sep 2018 ·
Pretty tired after 5 days of work and meeting friends and colleagues. At least time passes quickly. Watching Ozark.
Zoe D
28 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Emily C
28 Sep 2018 · NEW

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Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

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Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

I'm watching Ozark too! Season 2 is sooooo slow and dark. I loved Season 1, but this one, I feel like I'm struggling through it.

Silke V
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Sep 2018 ·

BF is dying for me to watch it with him. I'm not sure a dark show is good for me right now.

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

I've been falling asleep too Jeff. I just can't seem to focus on season 2. And Amanda I don't think it's dark in that kind of way. Its about money laundering.

Manda P
01 Oct 2018 ·

Oh, ok, good then. Maybe I'll give it a shot soon. It'd make BF happy & maybe I'd actually enjoy it.

Xavier M
02 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
7d ·

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5 Esther B
23 Sep 2018 ·
Yesterday was a good day. Gym, friend, wine tasting and dinner at restaurant. I was tipsy after only 6 sips of wine 🀣. Feeling hungover.
Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

Wow! Just a few sips is great! I wish I could feel that. Glad you had such a good day. Hope today is even better! 😊

Penelope P
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
23 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks Manda and Pen! πŸΌπŸ’•

Anna D
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
23 Sep 2018 ·

Woo 5!

Tuxi A
23 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24 Sep 2018 ·

Glad you had a good day! It's so nice to be able to recognize those nice days and remember them when things get hard again. And wow, just a few sips! Ha...cheap date! :)

Silke V
24 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
24 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
25 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
28 Sep 2018 ·

I am Jeff! Fancy a date? πŸ˜‹

Jeff M
28 Sep 2018 ·

Ha! Sure, I'll be right over. If I leave now and run there...wait, I'd have to swim. Bummer! ;)

Manda P
28 Sep 2018 ·

Jeff! πŸ˜‚

Esther B
01 Oct 2018 ·

Haha thats a pity John.i hate swimming

Lydia R
7d ·

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5 Esther B
21 Sep 2018 ·
Bit nervous provably from too much coffee. I just can't stop drinking it. Had a nice conversation with spiritual caregiver (the masters degree i have myself). Need to stop ignoring emotions.
Penelope P
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Zoe D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Anna D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
21 Sep 2018 ·

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DesBear D
21 Sep 2018 ·

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paul M
21 Sep 2018 ·

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Cindy M
22 Sep 2018 ·

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Robert H
22 Sep 2018 ·

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Reba H
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Manda P
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Tuxi A
23 Sep 2018 ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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4 Esther B
19 Sep 2018 ·
Cancelled football. Didn't feel well. Anxious to be surrounded by 50.000 men. Bad sign that I cancel the thing that I love most. Body feels tired though. Cancelled run as well.
Lucy S
19 Sep 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
19 Sep 2018 ·

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day!

Xavier M
19 Sep 2018 ·

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Cindy M
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

Maybe go to an lower league/semi pro/amateur match. Something about being stood out in the rain with a pint watching terrible players that is really soul stirring!

Jeff M
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
20 Sep 2018 ·

Sometimes you have to listen to your body and rest, and that's ok. Sometimes you have to tell your body to suck it up and get out and do things to recharge your mind/soul. Hard to tell when, though.

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

I can imagine John! Too bad I didn't go. It was a champions league game :(

John T
20 Sep 2018 ·

The 3 - 0 win?? Yep... Definitely curse of hindsight! Don't blame yourself, just enjoy the 3 points.

Manda P
20 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Sep 2018 ·

It's good to take those breaks when you know you need them. Well done, Esther! xx

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

Yes John! I'm happy indeed. I will go to the next 2 games so will be fine :-)

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks Manda xo

Lydia R
7d ·

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3 Esther B
18 Sep 2018 ·
Supposed to get clinical therapy in Nov or so. Now it's gonna be Dec or even later. I'm so fed up with waiting. Psychiatrist didn't call me as he promised. AGAIN. Is this a kind of technique? To see
Esther B
18 Sep 2018 ·

How long ppl can wait until they get mental? What a lousy system. We have so much money in our country and healthcare system but we waste it on other things.

Zoe D
18 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
18 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
19 Sep 2018 ·

That is a horrible system. The people who need help the most right away aren't getting it. :( I'm sorry, Esther. I hope you have support to get you through the waiting...

Robert H
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
19 Sep 2018 ·

Wow... Is there any way to have your insurance pay for private treatment in such cases? In Germany, this can be an option, if you can show that all officially covered psychologists are unavailable and you need help urgently.

Tuxi A
19 Sep 2018 ·

I have been working with a clinical psychologist through Talkspace for a couple of months now... It is probably not the same as face to face therapy and may not be right for you, but I found it very helpful.

Silke V
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
19 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
20 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks Tuxi. No if you want to be treated in a private clinic you have to pay it yourself unfortunately. From next week on I will have grouptherapy once a week though maybe that helps a bit.

Robert H
20 Sep 2018 ·

That's a start. Hopefully, you'll get more support until the clinical therapy starts.

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4 Esther B
17 Sep 2018 ·
Meh. Went to bed early last night but it didn't help. Having a major headache today while drinking a lot of water and taking it easy. Go away headache.
Henriette S
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Johnny gonzales J
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Sep 2018 ·

Hope you're feeling better by now, Esther. xx

Cindy M
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
18 Sep 2018 ·

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3 Esther B
15 Sep 2018 ·
Sad. Football didn't cheer me up. Wanna disappear.
Penelope P
15 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
17 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
16 Sep 2018 ·

This has nothing to do with other ppl charly

Manda P
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Simone A
16 Sep 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

Robert H
15 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Charly P
15 Sep 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

Charly P
15 Sep 2018 · NEW

Don't feel discouraged about what people say or do. Just keep on living your life and forget them.

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Esther B
12 Sep 2018 ·
Back home now. Need to make a plan to get more rest. Maybe work a little less. Will talk to company's doctor Friday.
Kelly G
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
12 Sep 2018 ·

That sounds very sensible.

Jeff M
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Sep 2018 ·

Good plan - hope the dr is helpful xx

DesBear D
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
14 Sep 2018 ·

Good to have a plan like that in motion. Hope you have settled into being home. Thinking of you, Esther. xx

Reba H
15 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
16 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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3 Esther B
11 Sep 2018 ·
Sad but I won't allow myself to be sad. They say I push myself too much. Work / running / starting clinical therapy soon. I don't know..I just want to be better.
Penelope P
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
11 Sep 2018 ·

I'm sure you will be at some point if you keep faith in yourself x

Jeff M
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 Sep 2018 ·

I do the same thing...want results NOW! But to be better for the long run, you have to work at it... I'm glad you are working at it!

paul M
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
11 Sep 2018 ·

Sometimes a rest can put thing in perspective. It is possible to put your effort into relaxing too, it can really pay off for your mood.

Tasha S
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
15 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Esther B
09 Sep 2018 ·
Going to psychiatric institution tonight. Feeling lost. Longing for connection with something or someone.
John W
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
09 Sep 2018 ·

Please be safe sweet Esther and keep holding on. You will get better I am sure. Your Panda friends understand and are here for you anytime x

Penelope P
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Sep 2018 ·

Really hope this will help you. Thinking of you! <3

Cindy M
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
09 Sep 2018 ·

We do understand, dear Esther - been to that horrible place. Glad you will be safe and hope you get help and support you need. Keeping you in my thoughts xx

John T
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 Sep 2018 ·

Thinking of you, dear Esther. This'll turn out great for you. I know it! xx

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

I hope you're getting help, Esther, that they're able to give you ways to cope and get through these difficult days. Thinking of you a lot. I know there are people who care about you (like us!) and connect with you. You can do this...you're so strong

Margot L
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
15 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks a lot for your hugs and comments. I'm sorry that I didn't reply in a decent way. I owe you xoxo

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3 Esther B
06 Sep 2018 ·
Guess he didn't like it as much as I did. Feeling used. Gonna stay at psychiatric ward a few days from Sunday. Dont know how to survive.
Love 1
07 Sep 2018 ·

:(

sonny S
06 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
06 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
06 Sep 2018 ·

I hope the professionals are able to help you find ways to get through your days... I'm glad you're getting help right now. Rooting for you so hard, Esther!

DesBear D
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
06 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Esther B
05 Sep 2018 ·
When you ask for professional help and no one is answering their phone. Good for my trust in healthcare.
Ida T
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
05 Sep 2018 ·

Wow...that's horrible. I hope you have someone you can call to at least talk to, like family or a friend so you're not totally alone. Dogs are good company at least...hope you're ok, Esther!

Robert H
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
05 Sep 2018 ·

Really sorry xx

nixiblu .
05 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
06 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks. Apparently there was something wrong with their phone..

sonny S
06 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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