5.3 avg
  1326 days
  17618 hugs
  201 followers
4 Esther B
4d ·
Exactly one year ago I ended in hospital for a mild overdose. One year later I'm still struggling. Don't know if I'm happy to be alive. Don't know if I'm ready to give up either.
Samantha W
4d ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
4d ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
4d ·

Might sound strange to say but the fact that you doubt is a good sign.. Hope you understand what I mean x

DesBear D
3d ·

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DesBear D
3d ·

i am very happy you are still alive <3

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

I'm so glad you're alive too, Esther. 💚 Silke is right, the fact that you even doubt is a good thing. Thinking of you! xx

nixiblu .
3d ·

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Margot L
3d ·

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Reba C
3d ·

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Anna .
3d ·

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Binky B
3d ·

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Christina E
3d ·

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H F
3d ·

*Hugs*

H F
3d ·

💖

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1 Esther B
6d ·
Very low. Struggling. Promised therapist I'll try until my birthday.
Lydia R
6d ·

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Manda P
6d ·

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Manda P
6d ·

Go! It'll help. I promise!

DesBear D
6d ·

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Margot L
5d ·

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Reba C
5d ·

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Christina E
5d ·

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3 Esther B
12 Jul 2017 ·
I've been with ppl as well. Just not with my head and heart. I convinced myself that love is there for me but again it was a failure. Like always. But I'm done.
Éva H
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Kris B
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Jeff M
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Kara L
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Christina E
12 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Silke V
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Margot L
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Richard E
12 Jul 2017 ·

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sonny S
13 Jul 2017 ·

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sonny S
13 Jul 2017 ·

I'm with you.. after my ex I told myself I would never date anyone I love. This time I will date someone that loves me even if I don't love them. It's been a lot easier on the heart and it introduce me to women I would not normally date.

sonny S
13 Jul 2017 ·

Its also soooo much less drama. But it still hurts when it doesn't work out, just not earth shattering

sonny S
13 Jul 2017 ·

Goodluck Esther, you deserve to be happy

Binky B
13 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
4d ·

That's a good thing Sonny. But at this moment I don't go out so Im not really meeting new people.

Kris B
3d ·

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5 Esther B
12 Jul 2017 ·
I've made my final decision. Life will never give me joy. This decision gives me the peace and quiet I need. I'm not made for this.
Tasha S
12 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
12 Jul 2017 ·

:(

Lydia R
12 Jul 2017 ·

What do you mean? I hope I'm reading this the wrong way

Lydia R
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Margot L
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Jeff M
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Jeff M
12 Jul 2017 ·

I don't believe this, but it's not the worst thing in the world to be accepting. I think sometimes the longing for better things makes the present seem worse than it is. Perspective that you are accepting what you have now is not bad...

Jeff M
12 Jul 2017 ·

But I know you're going to find happiness, Estherbear! It will sneak up on you when you're least expecting it! You're an amazing person who deserves happiness!

Kara L
12 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Kara L
12 Jul 2017 ·

I agree with Jeff. Esther, you're going to get your happy ending, and you deserve it so much.

Christina E
12 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jul 2017 ·

Thinking of you, I'm here if you need me! It'll get better and you'll find someone who makes you even happier.

Silke V
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Richard E
12 Jul 2017 ·

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2 Esther B
11 Jul 2017 ·
I've been with someone else as well but was just waiting for him. I don't know. Life is *********
Jeff M
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Margot L
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Binky B
11 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
11 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
11 Jul 2017 ·

<3 <3

nixiblu .
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Manda P
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Manda P
12 Jul 2017 ·

💚

Kara L
12 Jul 2017 ·

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Christina E
12 Jul 2017 ·

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1 Esther B
10 Jul 2017 ·
He admit that he was with someone else. I could literally die right now.
matt .
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Ellie C
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Margot L
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Natalie C
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Natalie C
10 Jul 2017 ·

How awful, sending you big hugs x

Richard E
10 Jul 2017 ·

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sonny S
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Lydia R
11 Jul 2017 ·

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nixiblu .
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Silke V
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
11 Jul 2017 ·

I'm not completely updated about the situation. But everytime he comes back in to your life, your completely lost. Do you think it's possible to delete his phone number? And maybe talk to a professional. Big hug, worried about you x

Esther B
11 Jul 2017 ·

Ik ken zn nr uit mn hoofd Silke en het gaat al maanden over hem bij therapie. Ik weet t ook niet meer

Silke V
11 Jul 2017 ·

:( ik wou echt dat'k je kon helpen Esther!! Je bent veel te goed om je zo slecht te voelen! Dus een psycholoog lijkt ook niet te helpen?

Christina E
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
11 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
11 Jul 2017 ·

so sorry Esther <3

Esther B
12 Jul 2017 ·

I've been with someone else as well. Just not with my heart and head

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3 Esther B
10 Jul 2017 ·
Sad. Cried at work. Don't wanna talk to ex when he's open for new girlsm He doesn't wanna be friends if I don't allow him to do that. It hurts. Can't let go. Friend is very supportive.
Turtalien A
10 Jul 2017 · NEW

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Manda P
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Manda P
10 Jul 2017 ·

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad, Esther. That must really hurt. Thinking of you. 💚

Sarah W
10 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Sarah W
10 Jul 2017 ·

I know this feeling and am right here with you. I also cried at work today. But it gets better. Try the 478 breathing method - it helps me out I do it 4 x a day and when ever stressed

Jeff M
10 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Jul 2017 ·

Sorry, Esther. It will hurt for a while, and then some truly awesome guy is going to crush on you so hard and you'll forget all about your ex!

Silke V
10 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
10 Jul 2017 ·

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Richard E
10 Jul 2017 ·

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sonny S
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Christina E
11 Jul 2017 ·

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Esther B
11 Jul 2017 ·

It already hurt for a year now. Can't seem to live without hi . Completely lost

Binky B
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
11 Jul 2017 ·

Thinking of you xx

DesBear D
11 Jul 2017 ·

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2 Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·
Fight with ex again. It's always the same when he goes out to party and I feel left alone.We always fight. Don't know why I keep doing this. It's so not helping me.
Sara P
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Sara P
09 Jul 2017 ·

If he's hurting you maybe you should consider leaving him. Idk your story... You have right to party and be free, too..

Kristin L
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·

Well he left me cause otherwise he wouldn't be an ex, would he? But yeah I feel left out. Cause I'm not the one who he parties with.

DesBear D
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Silke V
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Christina E
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Richard E
09 Jul 2017 ·

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6 Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·
Slept for 6 hrs until 7. Cleaned kitchen at 7 am. Read for a bit. Pilates. Quite content.
Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Alicia B
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Sarah W
09 Jul 2017 ·

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DesBear D
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Silke V
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Christina E
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Richard E
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Sarah W
10 Jul 2017 ·

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4 Esther B
08 Jul 2017 ·
Last post was stupid. I had 3 G&Ts with friends. Lovely brunch. Talked about serious stuff. Then all of a sudden I felt so lonely cause they talked about depression and mental health and that's my -
Esther B
08 Jul 2017 ·

trigger to go and text my ex and to be nasty towards people who are actually kind to me. Friends are supportive in any way but id wish I'd knew how to tell them how they can help. I don't know if I can be helped. Doubting if this kind of therapy is -

Esther B
08 Jul 2017 ·

useful. I've been seeing Pieter(therapist) for 2 years now. Last year I've been really low with my hospitalization as the worst thing ever. Now I feel almost as low as last year. Feels like I failed this year. Asking myself what's the best therapy -

Esther B
08 Jul 2017 ·

on the long term. This is my 3rd time in therapy. Last 2 times I was 'cured' within a year. Now I just feel worse and worse. Psychiatrist said it's a personality disorder and my depression is a result of that. Is there any help for ppl like me???

Binky B
09 Jul 2017 ·

The medication hasn't helped, but t they need to find the right one. It sounds like you aren't getting the right help with your therapy. Maybe you need different type...Or is it the therapist himself?

Binky B
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
09 Jul 2017 ·

There is help... I just think perhaps the help you're getting isn't what you need x

Shelley H
09 Jul 2017 ·

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Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·

Thanks for your comment Binky. I don't know. Maybe it's the therapist or therapy. I just learned that it's more my personality disorder that cause these depressive periods and not depression itself. And my therapist and other professionals say; there

Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·

is no perfect therapy. Stop looking for it. But I think I deserve the best there is as I want to live and not just survive. It's a subject that's been discussed a lot with current therapist.

Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

Have they told you what kind of personality disorder? Because there are certain therapy forms that are more helpful for specific personality disorder. You still would have to try them out though. But I'm sure there's a way to make you feel better. :)

Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
09 Jul 2017 ·

Don't know Lydia. I have problems when it comes to events like stress at work. I just can't handle it. I'm off balance easily. I don't have a strong identity they say.

Christina E
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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