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  1594 days
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  226 followers
4 Esther B
4d ·
Clinical therapy ended last week after 18 weeks. At home now. Getting help with day structure and stuff. Feels like I'm going to collapse anytime. Maybe it's just overwhelming to be home again.
Gabrielle H
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

All the best for you, dear Esther. ❤️ I hope you are reunited with your cat.

Spacekitten V
4d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
4d ·

I am sure you need to give yourself time to adjust and allow yourself to do it in a way that is comfortable for you. Big hugs.

nixiblu .
4d ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

You can do it, Esther! Also Ajax... Wow!

Jeff M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
4d ·

I'm glad you're home and can get back to normalcy. That has to be a difficult transition. Be patient with yourself if you can...it will take a while, I'm sure. I really am rooting for you so hard, Esther! *Big hugs*

Reba H
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

Esther! So nice to see you. Take it slow & be kind to yourself. It'll take a lot of adjusting but I know you can do it. We're hear for you & cheering you on! xx❤️xx

Esther B
3d ·

Thanks all. My cat is back home and I'm really happy with that! She has to adjust a bit as well. And John Ajax was amazing!!!

Jen B
3d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
2d ·

Thinking of you so much - hope things get easier xx

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2 Esther B
22 Mar 2019 ·
Crisis management. at friends place now, therapists don't want me to be at home by myself. Feels like I'm a burden.
Lydia R
22 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
22 Mar 2019 ·

I'm very sure you're not. Try to enjoy the company as much as possible. ❤️

Ilisidi C
22 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Mar 2019 ·

You're never a burden. Just try to relax & enjoy the company like Lydia said. *big hugs*

Reba H
23 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
23 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
23 Mar 2019 ·

Lots of love, Esther xx

Keeping Track A
23 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Keeping Track A
23 Mar 2019 ·

Ah Esther, sorry to hear you are going through this rough time. Take care of yourself and try to practice self love and self care. You are hurting inside, be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else going through the same thing xxx

Robert H
23 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
23 Mar 2019 ·

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3 Esther B
20 Mar 2019 ·
Depressed and anxious
me M
20 Mar 2019 ·

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Aprille D
20 Mar 2019 · NEW

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Aprille D
20 Mar 2019 · NEW

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DesBear D
20 Mar 2019 ·

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Tuxi A
20 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
20 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
20 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
20 Mar 2019 ·

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Robert H
20 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
20 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
21 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
22 Mar 2019 ·

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4 Esther B
18 Mar 2019 ·
Terrorist attack in my hometown. Feels unreal. I'm in a safe place though, at clinic.
Lydia R
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jo B
18 Mar 2019 ·

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me M
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
18 Mar 2019 ·

So glad to see this post, Esther - was worried about you!

Jeff M
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Mar 2019 ·

Oh wow, I didn't hear about this until just now. Glad you're OK, and hope your loved ones are as well! So sad there's so much hate in this world...

nixiblu .
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Mar 2019 ·

Glad you are ok, Esther. This world is so f*cked up. 😢

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4 Esther B
17 Mar 2019 ·
Visit to my friend and cat cheered me up a bit. My cat is staying there until I finished my clinical therapy. Spending the weekends at home without her, it's really hard.
Lydia R
17 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
17 Mar 2019 ·

Oh yes, I can imagine, but it's the best you can do for her in this situation. Is she happy to see you when you visit? I'm not sure how my cat would react. Probably would show me the metaphorical middle finger. :D Keep going! <3

Ian D
17 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
17 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Brandt B
18 Mar 2019 ·

I feel you. If I had been gone for an extended time, my (now departed) cat would be happy to see me and put out at the same time. She'd sit in my lap facing away and wouldn't let me touch her. Hopefully you got some cat lovin'.

Esther B
18 Mar 2019 ·

My cat just runs away when she hears the doorbell. I don't know if she recognizes me. I had the chance to cuddle with her so that's really nice.

John T
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

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3 Esther B
16 Mar 2019 ·
Feeling very depressed. Went to cinema with my mum and talked a bit. Told her I didn't like it at home when I was young. She feels guilty. Monday I have an appt with therapists and parents. Nervous.
Lydia R
16 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
16 Mar 2019 ·

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Natalie C
16 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
16 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
17 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

John T
17 Mar 2019 ·

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5 Esther B
13 Mar 2019 ·
Hi there sweet pandafriends! Was touched by the messages you've sent me through Silke. I'm going through a tough period. I'm currently staying at a clinic for psychotherapy, 5 days a week. This is my
Esther B
13 Mar 2019 ·

14th week. Another 4 to go. Hope you're all doing okay. Missed you but found it hard to be confrontated with my sad moods.

Albertine M
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
13 Mar 2019 ·

Great to hear from you, Estherbear, but completely understand you need to do what helps you. Been keeping you in my thoughts and will continue to - so want this to help xx

Penelope P
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
13 Mar 2019 ·

Woohoo! Wonderful to have you here sweet Estherbear, we missed you. Wishing you the best and sending love and fluffy hugs x

Lydia R
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Keeping Track A
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Keeping Track A
13 Mar 2019 ·

Take care Esther. At least you are getting help now. Do what you need to do to get better xxx

Sean C
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Gabrielle H
13 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
14 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
14 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
14 Mar 2019 ·

Hi Esther! I'm so sorry you're going through a difficult time. I think of you often and send you my thoughts, hoping you're doing ok. Lots of strength and hugs!

Jeff M
14 Mar 2019 ·

Also, totally understand how it's difficult to face all those other low points, of which this site is a reminder. :(

Jeff M
14 Mar 2019 ·

And, if you want to contact us outside of MP , John T made a Google docs that some of us put in emails: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yzampFBAKcZ1MC-96LRfqts4DgEWGxnA-MjcPEiorLk/edit?usp=drivesdk

Melody L
14 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
15 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
15 Mar 2019 ·

Esther! 💖💖💖💖 We've missed you. Glad you are getting this help though. May you continue the path towards happiness. *big huge squeeze your guts out hugs*

Reba H
16 Mar 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
16 Mar 2019 ·

Thank you all ! I will add my stuff soon John. Thanks for sharing! Xoxo

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4 Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·
Found a diary of myself when I was 15 / 16. Already asking myself the question how I could end my life. It's sad to see that I've been depressed / ***al for more than half of my life.
Jenny D
02 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
02 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
02 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
02 Nov 2018 ·

Sending you big hugs Esther xx

Penelope P
03 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

I | FE4RR ]
03 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
03 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
03 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
05 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
26 Nov 2018 ·

I hope you are doing okay. Haven't heard from you in a while...

Melody L
08 Jan 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Jan 2019 ·

Miss you, Esther. I hope you're ok.

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4 Esther B
01 Nov 2018 ·
Very anxious and feeling weird. Like if I'm dreaming constantly.
Lydia R
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
01 Nov 2018 ·

Sometimes I feel that way - like I know something's wrong but don't know what it is - when I'm fighting a cold or something. Almost prefer being sick to getting sick! Hope this feeling goes away for you quickly!

Kym S
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Kym S
01 Nov 2018 ·

I feel 'dreamlike' too when I'm stressed, due to disassociation. Hope you feel better soon

Albertine M
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
02 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·

I was stressed too Kim so maybe that was it.. I'm tired Jeff so maybe that's an influence.. x

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6 Esther B
31 Oct 2018 ·
Passed exam
Alaina T
31 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
31 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
31 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
31 Oct 2018 ·

Congratulations! So happy for you

Robert H
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
01 Nov 2018 ·

Congrats!

Tuxi A
01 Nov 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tuxi A
01 Nov 2018 ·

Congrats! :)

Esther B
02 Nov 2018 ·

Thanks all! Really happy about it :)

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4 Esther B
30 Oct 2018 ·
Not allowed to run for another MONTH. I haven't been running for 2 weeks now and it feels like forever. Only allowed pilates and some cycling in a week or 2. Body is failing. Hate myself
Ikra S
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Naomi T
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Oct 2018 ·

Don't hate yourself, little one! ❤️ Your body is not failing, just hit a bump. You'll recover & be back to your usual self in no time if you stick with your therapy. You've got this! *big strong hugs*

Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

Oh that would kill me, Esther! But I've known a bunch of runners who got injured. A few took up swimming and loved it and ended up doing triathalons when able to run again. Plus, swimming or cycling is good to keep muscles up, good...

Jeff M
30 Oct 2018 ·

...cross training for running and will help you not be starting all over again! You can get through this...a month is ok. Remember to start back up slower for a few weeks.

Albertine M
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
31 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
03 Nov 2018 ·

Thanks Jeff. I hate swimming but maybe that's a good thing to do. Not allowed to cycle yet. In another week I can try. Hugs

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6 Esther B
27 Oct 2018 ·
Okay day. Pilates, lunch with friends and reading 'the handmaids tale'.
Lydia R
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

Ohh! Good book. Enjoy! Well done in the exercise & socialization. xx

Maite P
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
28 Oct 2018 ·

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Margot L
30 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Esther B
26 Oct 2018 ·
Failed exam from work. Been eating too much. Disgusted.
Robert H
26 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
26 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
26 Oct 2018 ·

Can you take the exam again? I've been eating too much too - know the feeling.

Silke V
26 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Oct 2018 ·

Hope you are able to take it again like Cindy asked. What happens when you fail? Do beat yourself up for eating too much. It's easy to do when things aren't going well. You'll get back on track. xx

Jeff M
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
27 Oct 2018 ·

I've been eating too much too...and drinking too much. Ugh. I feel for you, Esther!

nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Oct 2018 ·

🙋 same

Esther B
28 Oct 2018 ·

I can and must Cindy and Manda. I have to pass before April 1st but because I'm going into clinical therapy from December till April I must pass for December. Pressure is on!

Esther B
28 Oct 2018 ·

Hugs for Jeff and Nixi. I just binge chocolate at the moment

Manda P
28 Oct 2018 ·

Best of luck on the next test, Esther. I'm sure you'll get it this time! I think I'm going to eat some dark chocolate covered dried cherries as soon as they leave for church. It'll count as my breakfast. No big deal. 😊

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3 Esther B
24 Oct 2018 ·
Exam tomorrow and nervous I won't pass. Somebody told me about moving in together and mood drops down like that. I will never live together or have a relationshop and that makes me sad
Jeff M
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

me M
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maria K
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
25 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
25 Oct 2018 ·

Hope exam went well xx

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5 Esther B
22 Oct 2018 ·
Day at the spa. It was nice but my skin is itchy and dry now. Happens every time after swimming. Too bad.
Natalie C
22 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Max T
22 Oct 2018 ·

Have you tried moisturising after swimming? My skin always gets dry after swimming in chlorine water and it always helps me.

Esther B
22 Oct 2018 ·

I use a lot of moisturizer Max! I have two on doctor's prescript actually. Thanks for suggesting though :)

nixiblu .
22 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
22 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Missy C
22 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
23 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
23 Oct 2018 ·

Glad you got to relax at the spa and get some swimming in! I wish I could take up swimming...supposed to be so good for you. But I barely have time for running let alone another physical activity, and the gym with a pool is not nearby.

Manda P
24 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
24 Oct 2018 ·

That sounds relaxing. I'm glad you got to do that but it's too bad your skin ended up itchy. I just learned today that I can't go swimming on my new med but that doesn't really matter because I can't swim! 😜

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3 Esther B
21 Oct 2018 ·
Watched Amsterdam marathon. Back home feeling extra sad and lousy because I couldn't even run half the marathon. Stupid injuries. Stupid body. I hate it.
me M
21 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Penelope P
21 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
21 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
21 Oct 2018 ·

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Silke V
21 Oct 2018 ·

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DesBear D
21 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
22 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Esther B
18 Oct 2018 ·
Still injured. No 21k for me this weekend. Too bad I've trained this much for nothing. Well, almost nothing..
Jeff M
18 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Oct 2018 ·

Aw bummer! I'm so disappointed for you! But there are others! You can get over this injury and get ready for the next one!

Maite P
18 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Oct 2018 ·

Oh, no! That is terrible news. So sorry to hear that, Esther. Remember to be proud of yourself for all the training you did! And rest up! xx

Silke V
18 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
19 Oct 2018 ·

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Reba H
19 Oct 2018 ·

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Albertine M
19 Oct 2018 ·

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5 Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·
weekend at friends place, beautiful nature. Pelvis still not right. Afraid that I can't race next Sunday. Will call physiotherapist tomorrow.
John T
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
14 Oct 2018 ·

Always more races, Esther. Enjoy the nature and your friends company, this just means you'll come back stronger and faster next time!

nixiblu .
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·

Thanks John Cindy and Nixi. 🐼

Esther B
14 Oct 2018 ·

And I know John but I've been preparing for this one for so long..

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
15 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
15 Oct 2018 ·

I have faith that you'll be able to do it, Esther! I'm 'rooting for you!

Margot L
15 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
19 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Esther B
11 Oct 2018 ·
Leg has been sore since 10k run. Hopefully I can still run half marathon October 21st. Feeling tired all the time, been sleeping a lot
Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 Oct 2018 ·

Do lots of good stretches...hope it will be ok for your race too! Have you run half marathons before?

John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
11 Oct 2018 ·

Wholewheat pasta, wholemeal rice, frietjes! Keep the fuel levels high! Be sensible if you're injured, there's always another day. If you heal up, think of all the miles you've put in the last 12 months, smash it!

Albertine M
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
11 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
12 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Oct 2018 ·

Hope your leg feels better soon. xx

Esther B
13 Oct 2018 ·

No Jeff I haven't. Have been training for 21k. Running 3 times a week now. But it wasn't my leg apparently but my pelvis!

Jeff M
13 Oct 2018 ·

Ooo, exciting, Esther! I bet you'll do great! Do a lot of stretches for those sore muscles, and you'll get there.

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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7 Esther B
07 Oct 2018 ·
10K cityrun today. New PR on 5 and 10 km. Finished in 55.05
John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
07 Oct 2018 ·

Great time! You're faster than me!

DesBear D
07 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
07 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Albertine M
07 Oct 2018 ·

Woo!

Silke V
08 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
09 Oct 2018 ·

Great!

Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 Oct 2018 ·

Wow, way to go! :) That's awesome!!

Reba H
10 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
10 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
14 Oct 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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