4.9 avg
  838 days
  7862 hugs
  166 followers
6 Manda P
7h ·
Have spent most of the day reading old diary entries & marking them members only. Oh, & adding hashtags. I never use hashtags! Played Fortnite w/lil bro right after the Echo reminded me to have a...
Manda P
7h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
7h ·

...good day. I told it to do that last night. Have been up since 4AM & I went to bed around midnight. The Zyprexa AND Seroquel should be knocking me the f*ck out. BF pretty much ignoring me all day. I don't really care. I can have a good day w/o him.

Bipolar Bear .
5h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
4h ·

*Hugs*

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4 Manda P
1d ·
Slept through the night for the first time in years. I was pure bliss. Had a wonderful day. Felt so happy & then BF enters the picture. Couldn't entertain me & listen to part of a story he's heard...
Manda P
1d ·

...before (I've listened to tons of the same story out of him & still listen.) so he just tuned out smiling at the TV completely ignoring me. Guess I was stupid to think he want to hear about my first day after taking a pill I swore I would never...

Manda P
1d ·

...take again. Luckily, lil bro pulled up as I had started crying so I rushed us out the door to go pick up dinner. Lost it as soon as I got in the car. So many tears. I let it all out & he listened & then listened some more. He even got me to make..

Manda P
1d ·

...the choice of not taking a pill to calm down. I love him so much. I had just wrote about how much I love him on my open diary site this afternoon. I let him read it. He's still here so I feel ok but I have no idea what will happen when he leaves.

Jamie D
1d ·

*Hugs*

Ingrid S
1d · NEW

*Hugs*

Vanessa V
1d ·

*Hugs*

John W
24h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
18h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
18h ·

So sorry to hear that, Manda - glad your brother was there to listen. Hope things were okay after he left. Big hugs xx

DesBear D
14h ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
14h ·

Sending you lots of love

Manda P
10h ·

Thank you, Pandas. I feel like I wanna leave BF but Mom says I don't really, just that he can be difficult. I'm reading my diary on open diary that

Manda P
10h ·

...oops, one hand typing. I started it in September of 2000! Woo-wee. Talk about going way back! Lil bro told me he sees the differences in me every season so that's why it's SO bad right now. Thanks again, guys! πŸ’–

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5 Manda P
2d ·
Feeling hopeful. Forgot to record another physically aggressive incident w/BF & in front of daughter. Yelling, screaming, kicking, hitting, shoved kitchen table, threw a drink that left a dent. I...
Manda P
2d ·

...obviously called my mental health center & was able to get an emergency appt w/psychiatrist this morning. He wanted to do Depakote which my oldest Panda friends may remember me having a bad reaction to & puking nonstop so I ended up in the ER.

Manda P
2d ·

Then he had the nerve to suggest Lithium again! You know, the one where I got severe Lithium toxicity & was hospitalized? No thanks. So here we are to day 1 at that place when they put me on Seroquel. I was either sleeping or a walking zombie the...

Manda P
2d ·

...whole time I was on it & I gained 50lbs! I said let's do it though. I need knocked out! BF cried yesterday over how mean I am to him. I wish he would understand it's my Disorder. I hate myself when I'm mean to him.

Maite P
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jamie D
2d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
2d ·

Sorry to read you're feeling awful about yourself :( Sending you hugs

DesBear D
2d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
2d ·

I'm sorry Manda you must be going through a difficult time. I'm sure you're doing your best when it comes to your family. I was a zombie with seroquel as well and I fainted constantly. How are you doing now.

Bipolar Bear .
2d ·

I'm so sorry Manda! Big hugs to you❀❀

Margot L
2d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
2d ·

Thank you, Pandas. I don't take my Seroquel until bed. They only had one pill left at the pharmacy so I have to go back tomorrow. I have a feeling I'll be WAY too groggy & drive them to school. Thanks for the hugs. πŸ’š

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1 Manda P
5d ·
I want to end it. The tears are pouring. My mind is going 800 million miles a second. I need to get the hell outta here but BF won't let me leave. Thinking up crazy plans like renting a car &...
Manda P
5d ·

...are driving down to visit my parents. BF says no way & that we could even look into going down twice a year as a family like it's supposed to be. Cry cry cry die die die. Not even drinking.

Manda P
5d ·

BF did give me a Klonopin. I won't remember any of this tomorrow. I asked for a sleeping pill but he refused. It's a really big deal that he gave me the Klonopin. He hates me taking those.

Manda P
5d ·

I have no one to talk to. I called my (ex)stepdad last night & made plans to visit & go out to lunch on Wed. I don't want to bother him again tonight. I texted my one internet friend that I have her number but she hasn't replied. I want to call a...

Manda P
5d ·

...helpline because I need help but I've done that before & they dispatched an ambulance & police. I snuck out of the apartment as they pulled up. BF REALLY doesn't want me to do inpatient but I've been on this Zyprexa steadily increasing the dose...

Manda P
5d ·

...for well over a month & I'm still completely f*cked. I hate this. Basically a year long episode now. I forget what it feels like to be stable & am afraid I'll never get to feel it again. I need help. I wish I had a friend who I could call. I'm...

Manda P
5d ·

...such a pathetic piece of sh*t. I truly hate myself. Disgusting sack of a royal b*tch that is useless & nothing but trouble. Opened a beer.

Natalie C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
5d ·

So sorry you're feeling so low Manda ❀ I really wish I could be with you, to let you know your not alone & to tell you how proud I am that your still here battling through the episodeπŸ’ͺ

Natalie C
5d ·

Please take care of yourself, I really worry about you. & if you ever need a friend to talk to we can speak on Instagram chat or swap emails πŸ’• xx

Missy C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Xavier T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
5d ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
5d ·

Im so sorry you're feeling like this Manda! I wish I could hug you in person and tell you that you are a strong woman, you are a warrior! You are not useless and we love you! ❀

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

Aw, Manda, sorry you had such a hard night. I really hope that things are better in the light of today. I know it's hard to remember, but you were in the green not so long ago. It is possible to not feel this bad! You can get there!

Jeff M
5d ·

It may not seem like it now, but you're such a strong panda! Sending you my strength!

Alicia B
5d ·

First, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, it sounds awful, and I wish I could help. Second, this is all very strange, why can't you go visit someone alone? Why can't you go to inpatient if you really need help, and it might help?

Alicia B
5d ·

Is BF on a ***e watch with you, is that why he wants to be there? Sorry if this is too personal, you don't have to answer.

DesBear D
4d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
4d ·

❀️❀️❀️

Margot L
3d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
3d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
3d ·

Manda. You are NOT pathetic. I'm sorry I've only just seen this post. You do have friends here and I'm happy to hear your stepdad is still in your life. We are here for you. Big, solid hugs

Manda P
2d ·

Thank you SO much, my sweet Panda friends. All your words mean so much to me. I wish I could give you guys real hugs. @Alicia No, not ***e watch. More like he's afraid I'll never come back because it's how I left my abusive ex twice.

Alicia B
2d ·

Oh. Well, then he can't keep you on a leash, you're a grown-up woman. If he's not abusive he shouldn't worry, eh?

Manda P
2d ·

He's super insecure is what my psychologist said after years of discussing him in therapy. He really does keep me on a leash though. Only lets me leave for errands. If I'm upset & just want to go for a drive, he blocks the door & takes my keys.

nixiblu .
2d ·

Blocki

nixiblu .
2d ·

Blocking the door and keeping Locked in is coercive behaviour. I don't much like the sound of it. Stay safe Manda

John T
2d ·

One of the few times I've lost my temper 100% is when I was deliberately locked in the house as a teenager. Being locked up anywhere is one of the worst feelings I have. If you can talk to him about calmer than I would be able to, you're doing well.

John T
2d ·

I don't mean to stoke the fire, but I just hope you can make things better.

Manda P
1d ·

Thanks, nixi & John. He's been doing this ever since we've been together (over 13 years) & says it's for my own safety. I just need to get out to calm down & be able to come back for a productive conversation.

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5 Manda P
5d ·
Rough morning. Daughter had an appt & we went grocery shopping. Didn't want to go, BF insisted & then changed his mind after I was dressed. Of course I refused to stay home after that & said I...
Manda P
5d ·

...wouldn't be here when they got back if he didn't take me. Everything at the store repulsed me. Cried as a funeral procession passed. Cried while walking back from getting the mail. BF made me smoke an old joint I found. Of course I immediately...

Manda P
5d ·

...returned to a normal mood level after I did it. Hate that I depend on it so much but keep reminding myself that it wouldn't be a problem if I lived in a different state. Just a med.

Rosie C
5d · NEW

*Hugs*

Etta B
5d ·

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Cindy M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
5d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
4d ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
3d ·

*Hugs*

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3 Manda P
7d ·
Drinking. I was a month & a half sober. All bcuz of lack of access to the greenery medicine. Bought last month & this month's 6 packs. So disappointed in myself but I might as well get drunk. Stupid.
Manda P
7d ·

Oh, I bought 4 new books in 2 different stores when I've been purchasing books strictly from Amazon for many years. Manic spending. Didn't even have enough of my own money. Used BF's credit card that l also have in my name. Not supposed to do that.

DesBear D
7d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
7d ·

❀️

Lydia R
7d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
7d ·

1,5 month is a great accomplishment and you'll get there again and then it'll be an even longer time. Relapses are normal, so don't beat yourself up. πŸ’•

Nakila C
7d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
7d ·

*Hugs*

paul M
7d ·

*Hugs*

paul M
7d ·

It happens. Now you can start again.

Cindy M
7d ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
7d ·

Lydia and Paul are absolutely right. Be kind to yourself xx

Natalie C
6d ·

That's a great achievement πŸ† really proud of you Manda😊. Dont worry about taking a break or giving yourself a few days off then carry on with the good work xx

Margot L
6d ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
6d ·

Echoing the comments about not beating yourself up. Lack of greenery can be so rough. ❀️

Love 1
6d ·

I feel crummy, too, when I indulge in an old habit I was trying to break. The pandas call for self-compassion and gentleness can be a balm to soothe the wound as we dust ourselves off and try again.

Alicia B
6d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6d ·

They say if you slip up you don't go back to square one because you've got all of the experience and tools still with you. And you can get back on track easier this time. Big fluffy hugs

Manda P
5d ·

Aw! You guys are THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!!! Thank you so much. I can really be a little kinder to myself now. I stopped at four & drank three last night. BF had one so I have four left.

Manda P
5d ·

Hit enter too soon. I will try to limit it to two tonight & no more alcohol after that. I was hating myself with each sip.

nixiblu .
3d ·

*Hugs*

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4 Manda P
14 Sep 2018 ·
Parents & Sis over an hour apart but getting & going to get wrecked by Hurricane Florence. Sis already w/o power. Only strong winds at parents' so far, rain starting later. Trying not worry. Failing.
Alicia B
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
14 Sep 2018 ·

Oh, no, that sounds terrifying… I wouldn't be able not to worry, either.

Jeff M
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
14 Sep 2018 ·

I hope they all do ok! Losing power is expected, I guess...hope that's the worst of it for them!

Manda P
14 Sep 2018 ·

Thank you, Alicia & Jeff. πŸ’– Mom promises she'll keep me posted. Sis is conserving phone battery but checked in two hours ago & is ok. They are in Wilmington, NC & just a few minutes south of Myrtle Beach, SC. Not exactly the best locations for this.

John T
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
15 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
7d ·

*Hugs*

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2 Manda P
12 Sep 2018 ·
F*ck BF. I said he sometimes chews with his mouth open & he denies it. Like I would make that up?! Too irritated to finish dinner. Read in bed all day besides small breaks to do a few chores.
Penelope P
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

sonny S
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
13 Sep 2018 ·

Being around someone all the time really brings out those little annoyances. It's always uncomfortable to be called out for doing something that's socially unacceptable. Maybe not that he's denying it really, just feeling like it's a spotlight on...

Jeff M
13 Sep 2018 ·

...something that he shouldn't do. Sometimes I find myself reacting the same way, getting defensive. It's not a healthy response, but have patience is my only advice. Not that you asked for advice. Sorry...*Big hugs* Hope today's better!

Manda P
13 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks, Pandas. I will cut him some slack next time.

DesBear D
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
14 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
14 Sep 2018 ·

If someone tells me I'm doing something inappropriate or disgusting I feel deeply ashamed and do my best to never do that again. I don't want to be icky. But some people just don't give a ***, I wonder how they do that :D

John T
13 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
13 Sep 2018 ·

Remember you can have people who are polite and have perfect manners but sometimes they have a heart of stone, you can have people who have no manners and burp, belch, and chew with their mouth open and they have a heart of gold.

John T
13 Sep 2018 ·

That said, take it easy and try and have some 'you' time.

Jen B
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Carmen H
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Vanessa V
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·
Those psych meds sure do flatten your mood. Guess this is preferred? Abusive ex texted. Took hours, but I finally replied & let him know now was not a good time bcuz I need to focus on getting better.
Teressa R
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Kym S
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

Agree with Stephanie...don't need that in your life. Flat isn't so bad sometimes...I think a 5 for most days is normal and ok!

Lydia R
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
10 Sep 2018 ·

Good thing you told him to go away. I think we all have the right to even ignore abusive exes' texts. We don't owe them anything. Screw them.

Penelope P
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
11 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks, Pandas. πŸ’–

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6 Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·
Joints are NASTY🀒after getting spoiled with a vaporizer, but it's nice to have one to myself. Admitted to BF & daughter that I eat a big spoonful of Nutella in the middle of the night every night.πŸ˜”
Jen B
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Aurora R
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
10 Sep 2018 ·

Nothing to be ashamed of. When I'm at my parents I do this multiple times throughout the day. There's a reason I don't have it here. πŸ˜‰

Amelia P
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

Do you enjoy it? Then don't feel guilty. Do you wish you didn't do it? Then keep it out of the house. Hard to resist the deliciousness of Nutella! (I love it with peanut butter...mmm...I want some now...)

Lydia R
10 Sep 2018 ·

I like to combine it with some slightly sour-ish berry jam. Sweet and not so sweet, it's great!

Cindy M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·

Don't give me more reasons to eat Nutella! BF ordered, like, a 130 pack of single servings of it. Hopefully a more controlled amount will be ok. New therapist told me it was no big deal at all. So much guilt!

Alicia B
12 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
09 Sep 2018 ·
Still raining & cold plus I'm sick. Didn't do yoga this morning. Muscles tight. Have been playing Fortnite w/BF. Want to sleep. 125lbs. Gotta gain some kind of control w/food. Considered purging.
John T
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
09 Sep 2018 ·

Get well soon, Manda

Jasmin D
09 Sep 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

John W
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks, John, & thanks for the hugs, Pandas. πŸ’š

Lydia R
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

Consider little changes to eating healthier (not less)...one thing at a time. Healthy diet and being the right weight helps a lot with fighting sickness and mood too. I know it's not easy, but like everything, breaking it down can help!

Cindy M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks for the tips, Jeff. I need to get back to eating my fruits & veggies. I did so well there for awhile. Thanks for the hug, Cindy. xx

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

I need to too, Manda. Been indulging way too much lately! Really feel it too...bah.

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5 Manda P
08 Sep 2018 ·
Cold & rainy day. It's gonna be a loooooooooooooong winter.
Jen B
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Sep 2018 ·

Cold and rainy here today! I already sorta miss summer!

Manda P
10 Sep 2018 ·

Me too! Daughter is thrilled. Says she hates summer & is ready for winter. 😣

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5 Manda P
06 Sep 2018 ·
Have lost it again. Threw my shoes & screamed. BF restrained & I fought hard. Ugly bruises on legs. Still in sex overdrive except last night was cancelled. Cried HARD at one point but can't remember.
Jenny D
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
07 Sep 2018 ·

Aw, I'm sorry, Manda. :( I hope you find stability and peace...

Silke V
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
07 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
08 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks, Jeff & Pandas. πŸ’–

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4 Manda P
01 Sep 2018 ·
Been up since wee hours. Didn't bother to check time. Went & got Indian teas. Just needed to get out. Want to run away. Must get smoke. Bad times ahead if not. Psychiatrist says pot could be bad. 😢
Johnny gonzales J
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
01 Sep 2018 ·

Did the psychiatrist mean it's generally bad, or in conjunction with your meds? (if you want to say, Manda) I know that you have found it helpful, so I can appreciate that's a pretty difficult thing to hear

Robert H
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
01 Sep 2018 ·

It's definitely bad for some people (sends me psychotic and I start hallucinations after even just a little), but it's fine and really good for others, eg. Can be a cure for treatment resistant epilepsy, pain, all sorts...

John T
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
01 Sep 2018 ·

Also, by Indian teas do you mean Chai? There are a lot of types of tea in/from India, so it doesn't narrow it down much... Assam tea is my favourite although I had a very nice Darjeeling earlier today mmmm....

Alicia B
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
01 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
02 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
02 Sep 2018 ·

Sorry to see you're down again, Mandabear! Big hugs!

Manda P
02 Sep 2018 ·

Thank you, Pandas. πŸ’– Cindy- He said it can sometimes be bad for people with Bipolar Disorder & may not make the meds work properly. I've been self medicating with it for 15 years. It helps.

paul M
03 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
06 Sep 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
06 Sep 2018 ·

Sorry, John, I do believe it's just chai tea with it being all they offer. So yummy!

Manda P
06 Sep 2018 ·

Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’–

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5 Manda P
31 Aug 2018 ·
Can't sleep again. You can see by my graph, I'm pretty evened out though. Phew! Reduced Geodon & raised Zyprexa. Everything is still there, just dialed WAY back (except the hyper sexuality thing 😳).
Alicia B
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
31 Aug 2018 ·

Great outcome, isn't it?

John T
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
31 Aug 2018 ·

Geodon sounds like a dinosaur.

Love 1
31 Aug 2018 ·

Dinosaurs have been shown to reduce symptoms of lethargy, vertigo, blasphemia, jaundice, diarrhea, Hanta virus and hemmorhoids. I am NOT making this up!!!! I added exclamation marks to emphasize that I am NOT making this up!!!

Jeff M
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
31 Aug 2018 ·

I think Love is making that up. Everyone knows Geodon is one of the giant creatures that fights Godzilla. (Oddly enough, Geodon was known for his hyper sexuality!!!! I'm NOT making this up!!!)

Love 1
31 Aug 2018 ·

What?!?!?! In a seminal study published in the prestigious Journal of Science, 2 Harvard researchers Crockett and Tubbs, found that merely watching Geodons grazing in a pasture reduced symptoms of blasphemia by 58.63% compared to controls.

Love 1
31 Aug 2018 ·

In another study (Brady, Gronkowski, et al., 2014) researchers found that the saliva of Geodons was 20 times more effective in treating foot fungus than the leading topical ointments. Get your facts straight, Jeff!!!

Love 1
31 Aug 2018 ·

Good thing my dinosaur companion sensed an elevation in my blood pressure. Geodon snuggles reduce outrage and indignation by 62.6%.

paul M
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

paul M
31 Aug 2018 ·

Top speed of a laded swallow is 76 Geodons per hour.

paul M
31 Aug 2018 ·

laden swallow :)

Jeff M
31 Aug 2018 ·

I'm pretty sure the Geodon is the monetary name for the country of Youbetastan.

Manda P
31 Aug 2018 ·

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ what the hell is worng with you guys?! Always gets a laugh though! πŸ’š

DesBear D
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
31 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
01 Sep 2018 ·

The sunsets on Youbetastan are amazing!!!

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5 Manda P
30 Aug 2018 ·
Can't sleep. Went out for iced coffees. Took the ice out of BF's so it wouldn't get watered down. He will appreciate it. See psychiatrist today. I can finally report improvement! About damn time!
Tasha S
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
30 Aug 2018 ·

Great news - you've worked so hard!

paul M
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Aug 2018 ·

Aw, so happy to see improvement! Rooting for you! (Also, how sweet of you to get his coffee just right...those little things... Someday I'd like to have someone think of me to do things like that...)

Love 1
30 Aug 2018 ·

Yes, that was considerate and kind.

Johnny gonzales J
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
30 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
30 Aug 2018 ·

Well done x

Manda P
31 Aug 2018 ·

Aw! Thanks, guys! πŸ’—

Once logged in you can be part of the community
5 Manda P
26 Aug 2018 ·
Just a day, I guess. Stayed in bed, BF & daughter didn't go to church, ran an errand, stomach not feeling well... BF knows I weigh 120lbs. Said I look good. Very toned. I'm proud of myself!
Bipolar Bear .
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
26 Aug 2018 ·

Get it girl! :) you're rockin it!

Cindy M
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
27 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
27 Aug 2018 ·

Good for you for recognizing that you're healthy and in good shape! Have to keep reminding yourself of that. Glad bf is helping! :) Hope today is a better one!

nixiblu .
27 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
27 Aug 2018 ·

Thanks, BB & Jeff! Realized I shouldn't be freaking out at all bcuz it's gotta be mostly muscle. I still fit into my size 2s & old 120lbs Manda would already be in her size 4s!

Manda P
27 Aug 2018 ·

Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Natalie C
27 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
27 Aug 2018 ·

Well done Manda, so proud of you πŸ™‚πŸ† xx

Manda P
30 Aug 2018 ·

Aw! Thank you, Natalie! πŸ€—

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5 Manda P
25 Aug 2018 ·
4.5 bcuz of this morning. Couldn't do my usual routine which threw me off. Irritable & cried. Got on track & feel better. A setback that was bound to happen. Done drinking except maybe when I'm out.
John T
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Zoe D
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
26 Aug 2018 ·

Yay for on track!

Manda P
26 Aug 2018 ·

Thanks, Cindy! πŸ’– And thanks for the hugs, Pandas! πŸ’š

Love 1
26 Aug 2018 ·

That's a good intention. Alcohol causes more trouble than the buzz is worth. Its a depressant. Recent meta-analysis found no health benefit to drinking even in moderation-contrary to popular belief.

Natalie C
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
26 Aug 2018 ·

Yep, saw that news also, Love. Not exactly what made the final decision, but definitely up the on the con side! I'm not even getting my one six pack a month. I want nothing to do w/the stuff

Manda P
26 Aug 2018 ·

Thanks for the hug, Natalie! xx

DesBear D
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
24 Aug 2018 ·
Should be rating higher. Spent day w/daughter & lil bro. He's got an infected wisdom tooth & she has a bad cough. Pharmacy screwed up 3x in a row. I said 'what the f*ck' in a sh*tty way & walked away.
nixiblu .
27 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
25 Aug 2018 ·

I'm pretty sure they aren't thinking at all, Alicia. ☹️ Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. πŸ’š

DesBear D
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
26 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
25 Aug 2018 ·

No surprise you're at 5, what are they thinking over there?

Maite P
24 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Johnny gonzales J
25 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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7 Manda P
22 Aug 2018 ·
I feel pretty normal! Didn't go back to sleep, stayed in bed w/Chromebook, cleaned BOTH bathrooms INCLUDING shower, took a shower, & unloaded the dishwasher. Vaping on deck. Beautiful out here.πŸŒ²πŸŒ³πŸƒοΏ½
Jen B
22 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
22 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
22 Aug 2018 ·

haha! Awesome sauce. Nice to sit out on a deck and enjoy the beauty of nature. I love to admire the trees. They are living beings, possibly sentient.

DesBear D
22 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
22 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
22 Aug 2018 ·

Sounds like a good day! πŸ˜€

Cindy M
22 Aug 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
23 Aug 2018 ·

Wow. Youve been a busy panda 😘

Manda P
24 Aug 2018 ·

Thanks so much, my sweet Panda friends! It sure did feel like a perfect day. Felt so good about feeling good that I didn't stop to think that the bad times aren't all over yet though.

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