5 avg
  803 days
  7560 hugs
  157 followers
5 Manda P
9h ·
Pretty good day. Lots of irritable moments but they all eventually passed. Played Fortnite w/BF, Lil Bro, & Nephew. We kicked a** & I was basically killin it. So much fun! Dinner Fri w/Big Bro & fam.
Lydia R
7h ·

*Hugs*

tEnT S
4h ·

*Hugs*

Amelia P
4h ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
3h ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
25m ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
24m ·

Glad to see you had a good day! I want to play Fortnite, but I'm afraid I won't want to stop! :)

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2 Manda P
2d ·
Mega lost my sh*t on the car ride home. Took two of the pills I was supposed to if that happened. Ended up not talking the last several hours. Cried. BF said my 'medicinal plant' is the only thing...
Manda P
2d ·

...keeping me from not committing su*c*de. He's probably right. That's the only thing that makes me feel normal (besides the vacation) & it obviously only lasts a bit. I said I wanted to quit because I rely on it too much, but he says if we lived...

Manda P
2d ·

...in a different state, I would definitely have an actual prescription for it. He's going to try & make edibles so the 'medicine' lasts longer. I was a mess when we got home. Didn't even look at our cats. He forced me to take the 'medicine' & then..

Manda P
2d ·

...I was totally fine. Hate my sh*t life here though. Mom says we'll work together to make the time until next summer better & that we'll try to come up with ways for me to make friends IRL. I'm going to ask my new therapist to help me w/ideas too.

Jeff M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

You're lucky to have your bf and mom trying to help (even though it does sound smart not to depend on your 'medicine' too much!). It's always sad to leave a really good vacation, can easily trigger that kind of reaction. Hope you do better today!

Manda P
2d ·

Thanks, Jeff. I did 40 min of yoga (my Sis told me I looked good & she could tell I was getting fit!), I've already talked about many happy moments & how we'll pull together ALLLLLL of the awesome pics combined with all the pics my stepdad took &...

Manda P
2d ·

...pick only 8 for the cool picture frame my parents got for daughter to hang in her room, found out all my complaining has damaged my brain from a just published Stanford study & that I can't repair what's happened, just stop it from getting...

Manda P
2d ·

...worse, told BF he doesn't listen to me & only got told to stop arguing, cried because of the conversation I'm having with my sister, took my 'medicine', skipped breakfast, & brushed & loved on the cats. It's only 10:30AM.

DesBear D
2d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
2d ·

I love my vape, it also makes the special medicine last longer because you can use the vaped stuff for edibles without having to cook it! Its the Sutra Mini. I think its the best medicine there is..

Jeff M
2d ·

I'm glad you have the cats and your medicine...I don't know if your brain is damaged (they're awfully powerful, self-repairing computers after all) but then I suppose we damage our brains all the time. They keep working though!

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
2d ·

💕💕

Manda P
2d ·

Wtf?! I replied to this earlier! Des- I started vaping awhile ago. So much better! He's saving it & then will add fresh stuff w/it for the edibles. I'm super pumped! As long as I can get it, he's doing it Saturday. Thanks, John & Esther. Missed you!

Love 1
1d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
11h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
9h ·

Thanks, Love & Margot! 💞

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5 Manda P
3d ·
On our way home. We said goodbye last night so I wouldn't have to be a mess as we were pulling out this morning. It was hard. I cried A LOT & gave long, hard hugs. I told them how I've felt bad for...
Manda P
3d ·

...so long & have felt SO happy down there & how I'm afraid it'll all go back to *** when I get home. I got teary-eyed as we pulled out this morning but it only lasted a few seconds. Making great time & the only thing I'm looking forward to is...

Manda P
3d ·

...seeing our cats. We made lots of good memories & have TONS of good pictures to look back on so that makes me. We've all even started making plans for what we'll do when we're down there next time.

Maite P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

That's wonderful! Remember that these kinds of good memories are a great way to look back. Don't be sad that they're over. We can enjoy the past and look forward to the future but live in the now! Have a good trip home!

Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Silke V
3d ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
2d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
2d ·

Thanks, Jeff. That is exactly what I need to do. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas.

DesBear D
2d ·

*Hugs*

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8 Manda P
4d ·
Such a big day yesterday. Beach again with Sis included (no problems there), dinner, walk along the MarshWalk, Sunset Cruise, hanging out on the pier, hair wrap, & night walk along the beach. Perfect!
Natalie C
4d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
4d ·

Glad to hear you are having a lovely time! 😀

Manda P
4d ·

Thank you, Natalie. If my brothers & sister were here with us I feel like it'd be the best time of my life!

Alicia B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

That sounds awesome. Happy for you

Manda P
4d ·

Thank you, Alicia. I had a feeling this would be exactly what I needed even though I fought it till the end. Fingers crossed I make it home & stay relatively sane!

Margot L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

Sounds like a perfect trip! I was running by the lake yesterday and caught the scent of suntan lotion and was brought back to happy times spent at the beach growing up. I miss the ocean so much...

Manda P
3d ·

Thanks, Jeff. We spent hours at the beach two days, did the night walk later, & a walk to say goodbye yesterday. We will miss it but my parents are going to keep checking on it to make sure it's still for us next summer!

Manda P
3d ·

Thanks for the hug, Margot. xx

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6 Manda P
5d ·
Having a great time besides both a near panic attack & cried my eyes out in bed last night. Sis on her way & we're all going to the beach again. No probs being in the swimsuit. Not sure how it'll...
Robert H
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

...be next to Sis. Can't believe we still have all of today & all over tomorrow till we leave Monday morning. I know I won't want to. BF & parents getting along great. We're already talking about next summer!

Cindy M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
4d ·

*Hugs*

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8 Manda P
6d ·
I made it here without spazzing in the car (only a couple irritable moments that didn't escalate & were diffused quickly), only crying once, & even drove on the Interstate for a few hours which has...
Jeff M
6d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
6d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
6d ·

Great to see green! Wishing you an enjoyable holiday. :)

Manda P
6d ·

...been a fear for many, many years now. I feel amazing being here! I've gotten a few seconds of irritability towards BF here & there, but it's to be expected. Beach today & tomorrow & then a walk along at night. No worries, Manda! NO WORRIES!!!

Lydia R
6d ·

Definitely no worries, just enjoyment! 😊

V R
6d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
6d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

Thank you, Lydia. It's 98% enjoyment. I about had a panic attack last night as we were listening to live music because I'm so nervous to wear my skintight dress tonight. Wtf?! I also cried my eyes out in bed last night. 😢 Thanks for the hugs! 💖

Cindy M
5d ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·
Up at 4:30AM but so is daughter because we went to bed super early. It's fine because the plan is to pull out of here at 6AM tomorrow. I mania spent $ on new clothes yesterday after...
Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...therapy yesterday including a skin tight dress which I've never owned one of before. I've gained some weight. So much that I haven't weighed myself in a week because I'm scared. Nothing drastic, but obviously still freaks me out. I was trying...

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...to celebrate my

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...F*CK!!! I can't type here today. ANYWAY, I was trying to celebrate my curves when I picked it out. I haven't clothes shopped for myself in years. Daughter told me to wear the dress & “show of all my goods”. 😂

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

Ok, I weighed myself. (BF got a new scales that pushed data to an app for all of us. It freaked me out.) 115 lbs. Exactly 10 lbs up from the weight everyone thought was dangerously low. It's like I planned this perfectly. I will start losing again.

Lydia R
11 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
11 Jul 2018 ·

Why do you want to lose weight again after finally gaining some? ED stuff I don't understand? 😕

Jeff M
11 Jul 2018 ·

Aw, Manda, be proud of those curves! Show 'em off! :) You deserve that...and I hope you don't lose the weight. (BTW I was up at 4:15 this morning...4:30 sounds nice! :) )

Jeff M
11 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
11 Jul 2018 ·

Stay healthy. :)

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

Thanks, guys. I'll also be in the skimpy two piece swimsuit I bought. I had lost my mind! Lydia, yes, stupid ED stuff. I am hardcore bingeing in the middle of the night & I've never binged like that in the 20 year ED history. So ashamed. 😔 I just...

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...want back at 110 lbs. It's so silly. Obsessing over a 5 lb difference. Maybe I'll get down there & feel confident in the clothes. My hope anyway. Jeff, that 15 minutes makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it? 😊 Thanks for the hugs. 💚

Jeff M
11 Jul 2018 ·

That confidence issue...that's the hard one. Most of us are not confident in our bodies, especially for someone facing ED issues. You need to hear all the positive things and force yourself to believe them! Good for you for trying!

Cindy M
11 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
11 Jul 2018 ·

I think your daughter's got the right idea. I don't feel confident in my body, as Jeff says, and I find that hard enough, even at my age - I can't imagine how tough it must be for you with the ED pressure as well. xx

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

So glad you guys are able to be honest with me. It does help to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I'm really starting to spaz now. I will be seeing my sister & you all know about her! Plus, I've always felt in competition with...

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...her. She's a lot prettier than me & I've always counted on being skinnier than her. 😢

Margot L
11 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Anna .
7d ·

*Hugs*

Anna .
7d ·

You are perfect NOW, Manda! Don't let the ED thoughts win - your weight is totally perfect. It's more about how you see yourself than the real need to lose weight

Manda P
6d ·

Aw, thank you, Anna. xx I'm going to the beach today so I'll really have to kick those bad thoughts out so I can enjoy myself. Thanks for the hug, Margot. 💚

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3 Manda P
10 Jul 2018 ·
BIG therapy session. Basically said goodbye to my psychologist even though I'll see him on the 25th when I meet my new therapist. Lots of crying. Abandonment & anger talk. Leaving in 2 days. Thought..
Manda P
10 Jul 2018 ·

...I've been wanting left alone, but am actually terrified to be left alone. No idea how I'll make it when they go back to school. Stupid psychiatrist left so I'm awkwardly back to the lady that that's handled my meds for the last 11.5 years.

John T
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
10 Jul 2018 ·

That's not uncommon, I think. We get a kind of dependency on someone who we tell so much personal information to and get so much help from...it's like a loved one leaving us. But remember that other people can help you, and you're not alone...

Jeff M
10 Jul 2018 ·

...in feeling this way. They help they gave doesn't go away when they do. They helped you along a path, and even if they were more helpful than others, you are still further down that path than you were...

Lydia R
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
10 Jul 2018 ·

Thanks, Jeff. I think you're absolutely right. I was sure to express my deepest thanks to him & let him know the impact he's had on my life. He also reminded me I'm getting a whole new person's perspective on things which will be great! Thanks for...

Manda P
10 Jul 2018 ·

...the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Natalie C
10 Jul 2018 ·

I agree with Jeff, you have moved forward & made progress. It's ok and normal to feel angry, upset & lost in transition moving from one health professional to another but give it time, things should improve and you can carry on moving forward x

Natalie C
10 Jul 2018 ·

Big hugs x

Cindy M
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
10 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

Thanks, Natalie. You would definitely be the one to know about switching health care providers, hib

Manda P
11 Jul 2018 ·

...that was supposed to say “huh?” 😂 My nails are too long to type on a phone correctly. 😕 But, yeah, I have definitely come a long way. I let him know how thankful I was for getting me this far. Thanks for the hugs, Cindy & Des! 💕

Anna .
7d ·

*Hugs*

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3 Manda P
07 Jul 2018 ·
Feeling a bit better this morning. Took sleep meds last night after having taken natural sleep aide & OTC sleep med that morning. Harry Potter movie marathon this morning but BF just cancelled.
Lydia R
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
08 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
08 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Anna .
7d ·

*Hugs*

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1 Manda P
07 Jul 2018 ·
I truly believe I'm the worst human alive besides criminals. I can't even believe what I did this morning. I am too ashamed to share. Brings many tears. Daughter prob hates me for life. I hate myself.
Love 1
07 Jul 2018 ·

It's hard being a parent... hell, it's hard being a human. Guilt and shame may help us self correct, then we can forgive ourselves and apply the healing balm of self compassion. We're all doing the best we can. Life's curriculum is not easy.

Manda P
07 Jul 2018 ·

Thank you so much, Pandas. I should've known how much better your support would make me feel. I've apologized a1,000 ti

Manda P
07 Jul 2018 ·

...times while saying I know apologizing to her & BF for every second of the rest of my life wouldn't be enough. At first she said she didn't care & then as I started crying again she said it's fine. No, I did not physically harm her. Thx 4 the hugs!

Manda P
08 Jul 2018 ·

Thank you my sweet Panda friends. I know I'll sure as hell never do what I did while losing it, but I'm sure I'm still not actually done using it. BF said he appreciated my apology. Thx again. 💚

Manda P
10 Jul 2018 ·

You guys make me cry. Well, I'm in super depression mode so one could say it doesn't take much, but the Panda Love is real! I can't say I've forgiven myself yet, but feel hopeful for the future. Thank you, my friends. 💖

DesBear D
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
07 Jul 2018 ·

You are not!

Tasha S
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
07 Jul 2018 ·

We all make mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself xx

Cindy M
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
07 Jul 2018 ·

Lydia is absolutely right. We all get stuff wrong and we're not defined by those things, especially when remorse and regret are present. Lots of love, Manda - you and your daughter can get through this xx

Natalie C
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
07 Jul 2018 ·

Your not terrible, everyone makes mistakes. It's how we move on & learn from mistakes that counts. Don't be too hard on yourself. Big hugs xx

Alicia B
08 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
08 Jul 2018 ·

Hope you find forgiveness from them and yourself soon. Big big hugs

Lydia R
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
07 Jul 2018 ·

Big big hugs, Manda! Whatever you did, I'm pretty sure it's so much worse in your imagination. I don't think she'll hate you. <3

John T
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maite P
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
07 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Xavier H
07 Jul 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

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2 Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·
So screwed up. Learning I've been abandoned over & over & over (etc) my whole life & that's the true root of all my problems (besides the diagnosed disorders). Explaining so much. Sad I'm losing...
Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

...my psychologist just when I need to so desperately work through this. Meeting w/him & new therapist next week. Started an antidepressant & have something to take if I start to feel the anger building in the car to & from my parents'. Guttural...

Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

...screams & TONS of crying yesterday. BF insisting I'm not allowed to worry anymore. It's so out of control. Everything out of my mouth is a worry or negative except the super duper hyper sexuality I'm experiencing. It's such a crazy change.

Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

Wow, that sounds overwhelmingly exhausting. I'm really sorry, Manda. Wish I could do something instead of just wishing you strength, patience and a whole ton of luck and love! 💚 Keep fighting!

Pete F
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

Thank you, my sweet Lydia. I need to come here more often. I forget how comforting Pandas are. I've been trying to spend less time on my phone to make BF happy, but even my psychologist said I needed MP. I finally made the jump & am trying new..

Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

...meds even though he's been 100% against it because I just have to look out for myself at this point. MP is a part of that treatment. Thanks for the hug, Pete. 💚

V R
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

Sorry to hear this, Manda - that's a lot to be coping with. Thinking of you xx

Jeff M
04 Jul 2018 ·

That's a lot to deal with, Manda. I hope your new therapist is able to be just as helpful, and I hope the meds will help! Thinking of you and sending you strength!

Jeff M
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
04 Jul 2018 ·

Aw Manda sending you big hugs and love 💚 sounds a very exhausting time! Hope the new meds work & your new therapist is good x just focus on taking care of you x

Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

Oh my goodness, Pandas. You guys are truly the best. I'm so thankful to have each of you as a part of my life. I really do need to go into this new therapist positively. It's going to be so important. Of course, she's in a completely different...

Manda P
04 Jul 2018 ·

...location than the building I've been going to for the last 11.5 years so I'll have major anxiety about that too. Thanks again, Pandas. Much love to you. 💖💚💖

DesBear D
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
04 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Manda P
30 Jun 2018 ·
BF AND daughter going to a Catholic Church with a friend on Sunday. Don't know how I will handle this. Less than 2 weeks until we leave to see my parents & go to the beach!
Zoe P
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Max T
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
30 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
01 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Manda P
26 Jun 2018 ·
BF had a good lunch w/his friend. Told me he asked if a priest would marry us without the paperwork. Friend said if you find the right one. So surprised by this. Really means a lot that he thought it.
Jeff M
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
26 Jun 2018 ·

Aw, that's sweet. This is obviously very important to him. I hope you both figure out how to work through your own beliefs together!

V R
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
26 Jun 2018 ·

Congratulations Manda!

John T
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
27 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
25 Jun 2018 ·
BF is out having lunch with a very religious friend that he hasn't seen in 6 years when they were in the same college courses. Should be interesting to see how it goes.
Lydia R
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

V R
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Line R
25 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
26 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
27 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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3 Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·
Just found out the lady that has handled my meds the whole 11.5 years I've been on them wants the psychiatrist that landed me in the hospital with Lithium toxicity to take over the handling of...
Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

...my meds. And I only have 1 or 2 appointments with the psychologist I've been seeing for years left. Why did they do this at the same time? I hope I don't lose it.

Natalie C
19 Jun 2018 ·

That's terrible :( it takes so long to build trust with medical staff

Natalie C
19 Jun 2018 ·

They should have asked your opinion on moving forward if things were going to change. This like this can be so unsettling and stressful having to start again. I'm so sorry, sending you giant panda hugs xx

Lydia R
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
19 Jun 2018 ·

Can you request another one? Why do they even have to change?

Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

Thank you, Natalie & Lydia. She didn't even tell me herself. I found out through the nurse when I called to get meds ordered. She told me she cancelled my upcoming appointment. I don't know why she switched me. My psychologist is retiring. I've...

Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

...known about it for quite awhile.

Line R
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
20 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
20 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
20 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
20 Jun 2018 ·

Can't you choose your therapist?

nixiblu .
20 Jun 2018 ·

Hope it's sorted in your favour soon

Manda P
21 Jun 2018 ·

I can't choose my therapist because I go to a Mental Health Center. Well, I got to pick between 2 locations so I guess I kinda did. My psychologist said he was going to talk to her bcuz he didn't think they should leave at the same time. I don't...

Manda P
21 Jun 2018 ·

...even want to see her. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Lydia R
21 Jun 2018 ·

Have you adapted to your new one already? Or were you able to change? I can imagine how hard this situation must be for you.

Manda P
21 Jun 2018 ·

I haven't met the new one yet. My psychologist is in charge of all the therapists there & chose this one for me so she must be the best they've got bcuz that's what he'd want.

Love 1
24 Jun 2018 ·

Sounds like your psychologist cares and is sensitive to the needs of those he is committed to help. Guessing he will assign you to the right therapist.

Manda P
25 Jun 2018 ·

Yes, Love, all those are exactly right. He said he'd twist her arm if she originally says she won't take me. If it's not that, I'll have to drive what to what is basically a whole new city to me. You guys know my driving anxiety!

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5 Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·
Bad arguement yesterday about religion. BF packed away Atheism books. He had Bibles & other religious texts the whole time he was an Atheist. I felt daughter should have a variety of religion books.
Jeff M
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
19 Jun 2018 ·

Hmm...Seems unfair to me. You guys need to talk about this and make sure he is open for your sake. I understand the commitment to faith, but it's not fair of him to shut down any other point of view. :(

Lydia R
19 Jun 2018 ·

I agree with Jeff! She should have access to everything.

Lydia R
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Maya H
19 Jun 2018 · NEW

*Hugs*

John T
19 Jun 2018 ·

I agree with Lydia and Jeff! One family member's views shouldn't dictate the others. If he packed away any of your or shared books he's wrong. If he packed away his books he's allowed but being sour.

John T
19 Jun 2018 ·

Be diplomatic though.

Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

Thanks, guys. They were technically his books but he's said 'our library' & has mixed some of our books on the shelves. I was super duper upset about this. He apologized for being inconsiderate & has put them back on the shelf. Now I know that...

Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

...that they 'bothered him' though. What must he think of me? He's said nothing has changed.

DesBear D
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

John T
19 Jun 2018 ·

Tell him to forgive the contents! Bill Hicks famous argument against upsetting fundamental Christians 'then forgive me'.

Manda P
19 Jun 2018 ·

That's good, John. Thanks for sharing that with me. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Natalie C
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
19 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
20 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Manda P
15 Jun 2018 ·
Hanging in there. Went to eye doctor. Getting BLUE glasses! Daughter got 4 baby teeth pulled. Was so sad. Got totally f*cked when I went for a Pap. Waited 1 hour in a gown for a no show doc. My luck!
Lydia R
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
15 Jun 2018 ·

God - an hour in a gown, for that?? Ugh.

John T
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
15 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
16 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
16 Jun 2018 ·

I want blue glasses too

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4 Manda P
10 Jun 2018 ·
Such stupid miscommunication last night. I wanted to 'relax', hang out, adult time after daughter went to bed @10PM. He woke me up to straight 'relax' & adult time @1AM. That obviously didn't happen.
Lydia R
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
10 Jun 2018 ·

I hated it when my ex woke me up to have sex. I had trouble sleeping, so it was the worst idea ever. He kept doing it though because he was an abusive little ***. Sorry, I went on a rant there, your bf is obviously not like that at all.

Manda P
10 Jun 2018 ·

@Alicia- My abusive ex did the same thing. With BF, this is usually our agreement bcuz I go to bed well before daughter most night. If he's going to wake me up, I want to hang out. Not just do it which I may or may not enjoy. My sleep is so f*cking..

Manda P
10 Jun 2018 ·

...important! Thanks for the hugs, sweet Pandas. 💚

Jeff M
11 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Emma Luna L
12 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
16 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Manda P
09 Jun 2018 ·
Coincidence that my last post was BF's last day? No. I'm trying SO hard to be normal. It doesn't always work but I'm getting better. He doesn't like when I'm on my phone. Only 2 more sessions w/psych.
Hanna H
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 Jun 2018 ·

Forgot to mention that I turned to my now one six-pack a month because I was apparently arguing with myself. 🙄

Natalie C
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 Jun 2018 ·

Missed you, Manda. Been wondering how you're doing. I'm sorry that things are not great right now. *Big hugs*

DesBear D
09 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10 Jun 2018 ·

Glad to see something from you. Lots of love and thinking of you xx

Manda P
10 Jun 2018 ·

Thank you, Jeff & Cindy. 💖 Thanks for the hugs, Pandas. 💚

Love 1
15 Jun 2018 ·

Yes. Glad you're ok.

nixiblu .
16 Jun 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Manda P
25 May 2018 ·
I'm so sick of this rollercoaster! BF's last day of work. Was doing so good until stupid argument & now I'm drinking the second he went back after lunch, JUST having said I'm doing well w/drinking.
John T
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Robert H
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Lieteke G
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
25 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
25 May 2018 ·

Big hugs Manda, you are doing well w/drinking. Don't beat yourself up over taking a step back. Sounds a tough day, so treat yourself from time to time. Take care x

Shelley H
26 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
26 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
26 May 2018 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
28 May 2018 ·

Thanks, Natalie. I really have come far with my drinking. I will definitely look at it as just as small step back. Thank you for the support! xx Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! 💚

Lieteke G
28 May 2018 ·

A little setback it

Lieteke G
28 May 2018 ·

A little setback is not bad. It can happen to anyone, tomorrow is another day..

Love 1
03 Jun 2018 ·

Hope you're ok.

Once logged in you can be part of the community