money so that is what he is using. He doesn't know i've moved on and I won't tell him, not sure how he would react. Bf was sweet and said husband might have me on paper but bf is lucky enough to be with me in real life :)
Your boyfriend is absolutely correct and he is indeed a very-very lucky man because he has you furthermore you are very lucky to have him - a man that recognises what he has in you (if you can understand my explanation??!!). Hugs
Why don't you quietly and independently inquire into the divorce yourself just to give yourself a more balance view because divorces may not be as expensive as he is making out if you have no children and you have no assets (property or investments)
then once you have all this information you may be able to present him with it and tell him to 'finish the job he started'! Just a thought?? HUGS
You have a good point Stephen. I'm going to give myself a couple of weeks break from it all then I will go to the citizens advice bureau to see what my options are. We have no property or money to divide and no children do not much to sort out.
We are lucky to have each other and that is a lovely feeling 😊 now I know what it's like for someone to really care about me. Nice to see you back Stephen xx
Thanks for the hugs xx
Thankyou. That means alot to me. As for your divorce, when I got divorsed 13 years ago it wasn't bitter. We agreed to sell the property minus debts and the balance halved. We agreed my daughter should live with my ex. There was no bitterness.
so the divorce was just a formality over and done within a month/six weeks of filing and just minimal costs as neither of us attended. As you have no children and no assests and presumably your husband (or ex) is in agreement - to my mind this should
just be a formality - just a 'paperwork exercise' therefore it should be a relatively 'painless' procedure with minimum costs. Big hugs xx
Having a bit of time out and then going to the CAB sounds like a good plan. Having someone beside you who actually cares for you is going to be a godsend while you're going through this, and for the rest of your life! You deserve happiness!
Thanks Cindy 😊 it certainly is.
Hopefully Stephen, from what he's said though I don't think he wants to divorce, he won't let me go that easy.
You need to be strong and move on. However IF and it is IF he doesn't know you have found new love then he may be hanging on in hope he can start afresh with you in which case you may have to tell him why obviously that will be unmapped territory
And that's a decision you may have no option to make but it goes without saying you need to talk this over with your new love because once Pandora's box is open there's no return just to push on through.....
But like I say if I was your husband - personally I would fight to keep you but that is based on the knowledge that there was nobody else so like I say that could be why he suggested waiting and the money is just the 'cover story'...
However if 'I' knew that you had found another - I would gently let go because my love for you would be enough just to allow you to be happy but I am not your husband.... Please tread very carefully and hold on tight to your new love all the way.
I hope this makes some sense spread over these threads?? Take good care Chrissy. Very best wishes. Big hugs
Or the other thing to consider is maybe and it IS MAYBE - word HAS gotten to him about you and your new love and maybe his aiming for strategic tactics included mind games? I am not trying to frighten you but just trying to help you by making you
Aware of possibilities that you may have not either considered or been aware of due to mind load living with your parents and everything else. I really hope O haven't offended or upset you in any way/shape/form xx
Please understand these are all just possibilities and theory and nothing more so don't let what I have said spoil your weekend with paranoir - just involve your boyfriend all the way & remember your ex has no leverage over you - he threw that away
There's absolutely nothing he can do or say to you now he has lost and have won. Enjoy yourself and your new future because I have no doubt sometime in the future your bf will make you his bride one day....... Xx
Don't worry you haven't upset me Stephen xx I'm sure he doesn't know, my bf lives an hour away and i only spend time at his house. I know my bf from church but my husband has been banned from there due to safeguarding issues.
I have told him I don't love him anymore and won't go back but you are right he could be hoping I'll go back although when I saw him he was so cold and he hasn't even tried to win me back.
My theory is he just wants control over me, the police were worried about that so they made sure I got my laptop back first to protect me from him. For now I think it's best he doesn't know about bf, not sure what he would do. He won't know where I
Am and no one will tell him.
That's good. I am pleased. I do follow your post closely to see how you're doing primarily because I really 'feel-for-you' as I can only to well imagine how married-life has been for you (minus the legalities) however my job takes alot of my time so
I can't always post comment but that said I hope my comments may provide a little help or reassurance even though they may or may-not be applicable but having been this road myself - I can tell you that things will come okay in the end xx
Yeah, I think your ex is still just playing mind games with you. I like the idea of you taking the divorce actions in your own hands & seeing what you could do. And once again, I am SO happy for you that you found BF. Or did he find you?
We were friends started texting after I split from husband for support and it just developed from there Manda 😊 turns out he has always liked me but kept away as I was married.
Aw, that is a sweet story! Wishing you the happiest of relationships. 😊
Sounds like hubby earned his divorce papers. In America, a spouse can divorce w/o partners consent. Is it the same there?
Thanks pandas xx
An evening walk sounds lovely. I live on a really hilly country road & would get hit if I walked it even in the day!
Last week is past.
do enjoy your life with your boyfriend
It's so hard not to panic when there is something wrong with your physical health. I'm a mess right now because of it. Skin even breaking out due to stress. Hope you were able to distract yourself! <3
Thanks Manda, I was busy in the end so didn't think about it too much 😃 hope you feel better xx
Thanks for the hugs 🐼s xx
You will manage. You did it before. Just let it come it doesn't kill you cause you're strong as
You will do just fine, Christina. Think of how strong you are & how much you've survived! xx
Thanks 🐼s xxx
Great to hear. It does feel so good when you make it through a panic attack. They are so scary.
They are Manda feel like I've been to hell and back this last couple of days. Feels good to have gotten through it.