3.2 avg
  112 days
  2178 hugs
  56 followers
7 Ilkay K
16 May 2016 ·
Hi everyone! Haven't been on MP for 10 months! It's good to be back again. Things have changed after so many issues. Don't care anymore! Best thing is that I'm getting married in less than 3 months.
Jake G
16 May 2016 · CHIEFPANDA

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Meggie B
16 May 2016 ·

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Susanne M
16 May 2016 ·

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Mike K
16 May 2016 ·

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Jeff M
16 May 2016 ·

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Jeff M
16 May 2016 ·

Wow! Welcome back, and congratulations! :)

Anna .
16 May 2016 ·

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Anna .
16 May 2016 ·

Congratulations!:)

Ksenia S
16 May 2016 ·

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Stephen P
16 May 2016 ·

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DesBear D
17 May 2016 ·

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Christina S
17 May 2016 ·

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5 Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·
Stupid hairdresser! The worst haircut I've ever seen - that's £20 in the bin. I could've done a better job. Need another damn haircut. Good thing - fiancé got the visa! We're very happy.
anna B
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
15 Jul 2015 ·

Yay for the visa! where did you get your hair done thst it only cost £20?? lol. Go back and get her to fix it, if you dont like it she has to.

Cassiel M
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Christina S
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Jake G
15 Jul 2015 · CHIEFPANDA

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Sierra S
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Jeff M
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Cindy M
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

I'll never go there again, Nicola. I'll get someone else to fix it later. I don't have any time today - flying off tomorrow!

Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you everyone.

DesBear D
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Laura M
17 Jul 2015 ·

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Grateful P
07 Aug 2015 ·

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Jacinta M
29 Jan 2016 · NEW

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6 Ilkay K
14 Jul 2015 ·
Had a haircut - not sure if it's good... Made my dad dye my hair plum red! Got only 2 days to see my fiancé - we're both very, very excited! Going to see him at last after a big whole year :) #happy
Anonmous A
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Anonmous A
14 Jul 2015 ·

Goodluck

Kookie E
15 Jul 2015 ·

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nixiblu .
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
14 Jul 2015 ·

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DesBear D
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
14 Jul 2015 ·

I hope that all goes well :) I don't know how you managed it for a whole year, you're very strong!x

Cindy M
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Christina S
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
15 Jul 2015 ·

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cfmind .
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
14 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you, Tasha :) Thank you all <3

Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you all.

Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you.

Stephen P
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Ray B
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Jenna J
14 Jul 2015 ·

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4 Ilkay K
13 Jul 2015 ·
Not too bad today, not okay either. Just came from an appointment which went fine. Received my contact lenses before I fly off - good thing. I need to stop worrying and getting upset for small things.
Ilkay K
13 Jul 2015 ·

though they seem so big to me...

JR J
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Ash D
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Jeff M
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Valerie V
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Jim C
13 Jul 2015 ·

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cfmind .
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Christina S
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Anonmous A
13 Jul 2015 ·

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DesBear D
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Stephen P
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Estelle D
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Cindy M
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Kara L
14 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
14 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you all.

Grateful P
15 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

Thanks, Grateful.

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0 Ilkay K
12 Jul 2015 ·
My dad strangled me. My throat hurts :'(
Nuno H
12 Jul 2015 ·

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H F
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Jim C
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Crissa P
12 Jul 2015 ·

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John S
12 Jul 2015 ·

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John S
12 Jul 2015 ·

Please ask someone for help! That's unbelievably not okay :(

Manda P
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Manda P
12 Jul 2015 ·

Listen to John! You need to ask for help. Nobody should ever do that to you. Even & especially not your dad!

Ilkay K
12 Jul 2015 ·

He threatened me. I have an engagement party in my home country in 2 weeks. He said he'll make me get married and leave me there with my fiancé's family if I don't change myself. Ask for what help? :(

Nicola H
12 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Nicola H
12 Jul 2015 ·

there are women's shelters all over the country, maybe you should think about going to one? Even just for a few days if you have nowhere else to go.

cfmind .
12 Jul 2015 ·

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John S
12 Jul 2015 ·

not sure what country you're in, but shelters offer help with forced marriage and violence. in UK police also help.

Stephen P
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Cindy M
12 Jul 2015 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
12 Jul 2015 ·

That is abusive, you should really go to someone for help, I hope you are ok x

Audrey N
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
13 Jul 2015 ·

If you feel you are in danger, please seek help at a shelter. Most will take you without any initial qualifications or questions. Some will arrange to pick you up. Whatever you decide to do. I wish you health and safety and many blessings. Much love.

Anonmous A
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Anonmous A
13 Jul 2015 ·

Im thinking ds is a culture thing. Trust me i knw wht yr feeling n y ds hppns. But he has no right. Listen to d pandas. Step up n be u, dnt do anything u dnt want2. Ds is yr life n no1 shud treat u like tht esp yr dad. Big hugs x

Christina S
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
13 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you all - I'm better today. It isn't a culture thing, Anonmous. It's the first time this happened. I'll give it another chance.

Kara L
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Kara L
13 Jul 2015 ·

I'm so sorry, Ilkay. This is terrible and if you feel unsafe, you need to pack your bags and stay with friends or go to a shelter . This is abuse.

Ilkay K
13 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you, Kara. I'm fine now.

Anonmous A
13 Jul 2015 ·

Aww okay, from your name it seemed so, sorry tht was stereotypical of me :( big hugs and i hope yr ok

Laura M
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Grateful P
15 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
15 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you <3

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4 Ilkay K
12 Jul 2015 ·
Things are much better with fiancé now. We were able to speak yesterday - missed talking to him so much. We've 5 days left to see each other after a year now. Couldn't sleep 'cause of his imagination!
Jim C
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Christina S
12 Jul 2015 ·

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anna B
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
12 Jul 2015 ·

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cfmind .
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Cindy M
12 Jul 2015 ·

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DesBear D
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Anonmous A
13 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
13 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you all

Kara L
13 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Ilkay K
14 Jul 2015 ·

Thanks, Kara

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3 Ilkay K
11 Jul 2015 ·
Still soulless. Done everything to make him leave me again without my control. Told my dad about some of the things I had to tell & he spoke to fiancé about it. I feel so I don't know. Do I even feel?
Nicola H
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Shelley H
11 Jul 2015 ·

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anna B
11 Jul 2015 ·

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anna B
11 Jul 2015 ·

of course you can feel! ! it will get easier.

Anna .
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Eva Z
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Stephen P
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Kara L
12 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
12 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you all.

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1 Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·
Can't take it no more. I'm tired of feeling hate and treating him like rubbish. I can't control myself :'( I'm suffering but I can't stand to see him sad because of me anymore. I want to be normal :'(
Sam A
10 Jul 2015 ·

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sonny S
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Zainab E
11 Jul 2015 · NEW

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Laura M
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Ash D
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Christina S
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
11 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you everyone.

Kara L
11 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

cfmind .
11 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
11 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you, Kara and cfmind.

Nicola H
11 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Ilkay K
12 Jul 2015 ·

Thanks, Nicola.

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3 Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·
All my feelings are lost - can't feel happiness or sadness. Hate my family, my house, his family, his house & him for no reason. I go mad in a second out of nowhere & I become normal after some time.
Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

I act as if I hate them for a moment. I try to end my relationship for no apparent reason. I tell him that I hate him though I don't. This moment of madness comes with a breath and go's with a breath, so I struggle to breathe before I change into...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... a bad person until I turn back to normal again. I then ask myself why I have said those things and wonder what just happened. I can't control the things I do and the things I say. I see objects disappear and change places. All the nightmares I...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... have. I'm not me when that moment of madness comes, and when it ends with that struggle of breathe, I start crying for no reason for only a minute the most. Whatever it is, it makes me hate the things I listed above for no reason at all. At...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... that moment, I see them as very bad people though they are not. Especially him - I see him as bad, but when the moment ends, I realise that he's so caring and lovely. Now I'm the normal me but it's going to come again, I know. I feel like...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... chucking and breaking things all over the house. It's not anger, I know, and it's not depression, I'm sure about this. I'm trying to make him leave me at that moment, I do anything for him to leave me. I deleted whatsapp again last night for no..

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... reason. Then I wondered why and how I done that. Basically, at that moment, I attack him and my family for no reason out of nowhere. Can't control myself. I seriously need help.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

Have you been to the doctors? I have depression/ anxiety and I can have terrible mood swings that change so quickly. I can hate the world, throw things and have told my husband I don't love him.

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

It isn't depression or anxiety, Christina, and this is coming from a person who knows very well what depression is :( It also isn't a mood swing :( I struggle to breathe then I turn into someone else, like something is controlling me, then the...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... struggle to breathe comes again, my heart beats so fast and I start crying for no reason and turn back to normal again.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

The struggling to breathe and heart racing could be panic attacks (don't mean to sound like I'm diagnosing you!) I think the doctor would be able to help, maybe medication or a counsellor is what you need, it's so hard to cope with extreme emotions

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

on your own and is scary. It terrifying feeling out of control, I've been known to avoid people as I don't know what I'm going to do sometimes. A build up of stress can come out in bursts like this sometimes

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

The doctor won't be able to tell my why the object disappear and change places though :(

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

what objects are they?

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

I wish it happens sometimes. It happens every single day at least once.

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

The tissue I threw on the floor appeared on my wardrobe when I turned my back. So it was on the floor, then on the wardrobe. A packet of cheese got lost in the fridge and no one ate it. I saw an ant moving in the lift and then it disappeared. I..

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

found a sesame seed on my sofa. It wasn't there a minute ago when I looked. I got it to throw it in the bin and it got lost in my hand :/

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

& no one goes in my room or eats there, including me.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

Can't explain all of the,. I can see things when I've been upset/anxious for a long time (not saying your imaging everything and this might not be the case for you) I've seen ants that have then dissappeared, objects flying across the room, people

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Oh and a nail varnish got lost, and one was completely empty and dry. No one uses it except me. The day before, the varnishes were there and full.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

who aren't really their, a vase moving across the table and lots of others. The doctor thinks it's my anxiety that causes it. Might be something different for you though.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

Doesn't explain a lot of the things though. Don't know what to say. Hope you find some help xx

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you.

paul M
10 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Anna .
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Kara L
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Kara L
10 Jul 2015 ·

Ilkay, you should really speak to someone about this. You need a proper diagnosis and a treatment plan. I hate to see it affecting your life so terribly. Have you looked into Bipolar or other mood disorders? I obviously can't diagnose you but I reall

Kara L
10 Jul 2015 ·

-really think someone should. You deserve to be happy. xx

Jeff M
10 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Sara H
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

I looked into everything that's got to do with psychology, Kara. I researched and took online tests too. It's got nothing to do with my psychology. My fiancés family went to a man (religious) and showed my picture to him. They didn't say a word and..

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

... the man started talking about the things that are happening to me, such as struggling to breathe and madness in a moment. He said one minute she's an angel, the next minute she attacks like a dog for no reason and fiancés family said it's true...

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

He said someone close done a magic on me to hate my fiancé and separate.

sonny S
10 Jul 2015 ·

Its a horrible feeling to feel that there is no hope. Like the others said im no dr. But it kinda sounds like mania. If u believe its a curse u can go to the church or seek a shaman to reliev it. Me personally i would seek a herbalist. I believ

sonny S
10 Jul 2015 ·

I believe we all can be healed by nature. U can also do them all and find wats works for u. Hope u feel better soon.

Jim C
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Stephen P
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Nicola H
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Jessica T
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you for your care and help Panda's :(

Laura M
11 Jul 2015 ·

Oh Ilkay, I'm so sorry what you're going through. writing down how you feel may help so you can see if there's any pattern? Take care of yourself, I know it can be v hard. Sending big hug & peaceful wishes x

Laura M
11 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Kara L
11 Jul 2015 ·

What about Borderline Personality Disorder? I know it seems like a stretch but it's worth looking into. I'm so sorry about what's happening though. :( Is there any way to can fix it? Like, I don't know about magic and stuff but there has to be a sol

Kara L
11 Jul 2015 ·

*solution, right? I hope you find it soon. x

cfmind .
11 Jul 2015 ·

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3 Ilkay K
09 Jul 2015 ·
No Reason Given
Nicola H
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Tasha S
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Natalie C
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Audrey N
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Shelley H
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Cindy M
09 Jul 2015 ·

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Anna .
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Stephen P
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you everyone.

Christina S
10 Jul 2015 ·

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Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you <3

Kara L
10 Jul 2015 ·

*Hugs*

Ilkay K
10 Jul 2015 ·

Thank you, Kara.

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