Wow! Welcome back, and congratulations! :)
Yay for the visa! where did you get your hair done thst it only cost £20?? lol. Go back and get her to fix it, if you dont like it she has to.
I'll never go there again, Nicola. I'll get someone else to fix it later. I don't have any time today - flying off tomorrow!
Thank you everyone.
I hope that all goes well :) I don't know how you managed it for a whole year, you're very strong!x
Thank you, Tasha :) Thank you all <3
Thank you all.
though they seem so big to me...
Please ask someone for help! That's unbelievably not okay :(
Listen to John! You need to ask for help. Nobody should ever do that to you. Even & especially not your dad!
He threatened me. I have an engagement party in my home country in 2 weeks. He said he'll make me get married and leave me there with my fiancé's family if I don't change myself. Ask for what help? :(
there are women's shelters all over the country, maybe you should think about going to one? Even just for a few days if you have nowhere else to go.
not sure what country you're in, but shelters offer help with forced marriage and violence. in UK police also help.
That is abusive, you should really go to someone for help, I hope you are ok x
If you feel you are in danger, please seek help at a shelter. Most will take you without any initial qualifications or questions. Some will arrange to pick you up. Whatever you decide to do. I wish you health and safety and many blessings. Much love.
Im thinking ds is a culture thing. Trust me i knw wht yr feeling n y ds hppns. But he has no right. Listen to d pandas. Step up n be u, dnt do anything u dnt want2. Ds is yr life n no1 shud treat u like tht esp yr dad. Big hugs x
Thank you all - I'm better today. It isn't a culture thing, Anonmous. It's the first time this happened. I'll give it another chance.
I'm so sorry, Ilkay. This is terrible and if you feel unsafe, you need to pack your bags and stay with friends or go to a shelter . This is abuse.
Thank you, Kara. I'm fine now.
Aww okay, from your name it seemed so, sorry tht was stereotypical of me :( big hugs and i hope yr ok
Thank you <3
Thank you all
of course you can feel! ! it will get easier.
Thank you, Kara and cfmind.
I act as if I hate them for a moment. I try to end my relationship for no apparent reason. I tell him that I hate him though I don't. This moment of madness comes with a breath and go's with a breath, so I struggle to breathe before I change into...
... a bad person until I turn back to normal again. I then ask myself why I have said those things and wonder what just happened. I can't control the things I do and the things I say. I see objects disappear and change places. All the nightmares I...
... have. I'm not me when that moment of madness comes, and when it ends with that struggle of breathe, I start crying for no reason for only a minute the most. Whatever it is, it makes me hate the things I listed above for no reason at all. At...
... that moment, I see them as very bad people though they are not. Especially him - I see him as bad, but when the moment ends, I realise that he's so caring and lovely. Now I'm the normal me but it's going to come again, I know. I feel like...
... chucking and breaking things all over the house. It's not anger, I know, and it's not depression, I'm sure about this. I'm trying to make him leave me at that moment, I do anything for him to leave me. I deleted whatsapp again last night for no..
... reason. Then I wondered why and how I done that. Basically, at that moment, I attack him and my family for no reason out of nowhere. Can't control myself. I seriously need help.
Have you been to the doctors? I have depression/ anxiety and I can have terrible mood swings that change so quickly. I can hate the world, throw things and have told my husband I don't love him.
It isn't depression or anxiety, Christina, and this is coming from a person who knows very well what depression is :( It also isn't a mood swing :( I struggle to breathe then I turn into someone else, like something is controlling me, then the...
... struggle to breathe comes again, my heart beats so fast and I start crying for no reason and turn back to normal again.
The struggling to breathe and heart racing could be panic attacks (don't mean to sound like I'm diagnosing you!) I think the doctor would be able to help, maybe medication or a counsellor is what you need, it's so hard to cope with extreme emotions
on your own and is scary. It terrifying feeling out of control, I've been known to avoid people as I don't know what I'm going to do sometimes. A build up of stress can come out in bursts like this sometimes
The doctor won't be able to tell my why the object disappear and change places though :(
what objects are they?
I wish it happens sometimes. It happens every single day at least once.
The tissue I threw on the floor appeared on my wardrobe when I turned my back. So it was on the floor, then on the wardrobe. A packet of cheese got lost in the fridge and no one ate it. I saw an ant moving in the lift and then it disappeared. I..
found a sesame seed on my sofa. It wasn't there a minute ago when I looked. I got it to throw it in the bin and it got lost in my hand :/
& no one goes in my room or eats there, including me.
Can't explain all of the,. I can see things when I've been upset/anxious for a long time (not saying your imaging everything and this might not be the case for you) I've seen ants that have then dissappeared, objects flying across the room, people
Oh and a nail varnish got lost, and one was completely empty and dry. No one uses it except me. The day before, the varnishes were there and full.
who aren't really their, a vase moving across the table and lots of others. The doctor thinks it's my anxiety that causes it. Might be something different for you though.
Doesn't explain a lot of the things though. Don't know what to say. Hope you find some help xx
Ilkay, you should really speak to someone about this. You need a proper diagnosis and a treatment plan. I hate to see it affecting your life so terribly. Have you looked into Bipolar or other mood disorders? I obviously can't diagnose you but I reall
-really think someone should. You deserve to be happy. xx
I looked into everything that's got to do with psychology, Kara. I researched and took online tests too. It's got nothing to do with my psychology. My fiancés family went to a man (religious) and showed my picture to him. They didn't say a word and..
... the man started talking about the things that are happening to me, such as struggling to breathe and madness in a moment. He said one minute she's an angel, the next minute she attacks like a dog for no reason and fiancés family said it's true...
He said someone close done a magic on me to hate my fiancé and separate.
Its a horrible feeling to feel that there is no hope. Like the others said im no dr. But it kinda sounds like mania. If u believe its a curse u can go to the church or seek a shaman to reliev it. Me personally i would seek a herbalist. I believ
I believe we all can be healed by nature. U can also do them all and find wats works for u. Hope u feel better soon.
Thank you for your care and help Panda's :(
Oh Ilkay, I'm so sorry what you're going through. writing down how you feel may help so you can see if there's any pattern? Take care of yourself, I know it can be v hard. Sending big hug & peaceful wishes x
What about Borderline Personality Disorder? I know it seems like a stretch but it's worth looking into. I'm so sorry about what's happening though. :( Is there any way to can fix it? Like, I don't know about magic and stuff but there has to be a sol
*solution, right? I hope you find it soon. x
Thank you, Kara.
Yay. You deserve a break, Ilkay. xx
Have a good time
Thank you all <3
Thank you everyone <3
Thank you everyone. Soon to be father-in-law is trying to help.
Thank you everyone. Hope I didn't seem weird to you all :(
Thank you, Cindy.
Thanks, Kara and desdmonia.
I told him what's he's done to me out of nowhere and he finally understood. I forgave him.
Gd for u, for getting yr say.
Thank you, Christina and Anna.
My thoughts are all mixed up because I don't know what to do with him. Got 2 weeks for our engagement party and I'm seriously wondering if I should spend my whole life with a man like him. Dad told me to think carefully.
Bunked college - can't stand it today. Spoke to my family about what fiancé has done - good to see them sticking up for me for once... Still not talking to him and planning not to.