MoodPanda: 4.6
 Days: 135
 Been hugged: 3794
 Followers: 116
Susanne M · 12 Jun 2016 9
Spending father's day amongst my family, having a good time. Feeling light-hearted and contented =) See you lovely pandas later <3
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Binky B · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 03 Jul 2016
Praying for you my friend
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4Give 1 · 20 Jun 2016
Yes. Please check in.
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H F · 16 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 21 Jun 2016
Hope all is well, Susanne. We miss you and are thinking about you and wishing you well. I just hope you decided to take a break from this site for a while. Check back in with us sometime, please! *Hugs*
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
Hope you have a lovely day, Susanne.
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Anna . · 23 Aug 2016
I hope everything's okay. I miss you...
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DesBear D · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 01 Jul 2016
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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paul M · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 14 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 01 Jul 2016
I'm worried about you ;s
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Silke V · 07 Sep 2016
*Hugs*
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caapi C · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 14 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 24 Jun 2016
sure she is fine, i am sure you could find on facebook if you wanted.
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Alexander T · 01 Jul 2016
don't have her email address. the last time u checked on facebook she was out having coffee
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Alexander T · 01 Jul 2016
i dont generally use facebook but i had to go look to check. i wont personally give out her details not my place to, but if you find her post with her drawing on and click it you get surname on the google page with a photo.
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Alexander T · 04 Jul 2016
rather than eu do ü and add Austria
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Taryn H · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 30 Jun 2016
Hope you're okay Susanne. I miss you. x
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Andrea G · 16 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 16 Jun 2016
Hey just checked in and was hoping to catch up with you? I m a little concerned to see you're not here? Maybe that means all is well ! I hope so xx
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Andrea G · 24 Jun 2016
Damn ! Still not here. Concerned now x
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Andrea G · 02 Jul 2016
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 20 Jun 2016
Hoping you are ok Susanne.. Really miss you. <3
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Mandy O · 08 Jul 2016
Glad to hear she is safe and well Claire. Xx
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 15 Jun 2016
I'm worried because I haven't heard anything from you in days D: I hope everything is fine, we miss you <3
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Claire M · 17 Jun 2016
Seriously, where are you? :( I really really hope nothinh bad has happened my dear... I wish I would have you in any other social media, so I could check on you right now :S I miss you Susanne, come back soon <3
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Claire M · 21 Jun 2016
Agree with Jeff, I really just wanna hear that you are ok :(
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Claire M · 28 Jun 2016
Oh my dear where are you :'(
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Claire M · 01 Jul 2016
I have tried, Alexander :S Did you have her emal or do I remember wrong?
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Claire M · 01 Jul 2016
I don't even know her last name, Alexander... If you have her in your facebook friends and know that she is alright, then I'm relieved. <3
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Claire M · 02 Jul 2016
I know that Alexander. Thanl you, I appreciate that. I'll try to find her.
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Claire M · 03 Jul 2016
I cant find anyone in facebook with her photo and name? There is only 3 persons with that name anyway
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Claire M · 04 Jul 2016
Thank you Alexander, I found her. Couldn't have done that without you, so thanks a lot. Now I know she is alright, it means a lot to me :)
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Claire M · 23 Aug 2016
I'm with you Anna, miss you too Susanne :(
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Courtney O · 07 Sep 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Lizzy V · 04 Jul 2016
I really hope you're okay...
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Daria V · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 02 Jul 2016
haven't heard from you in such a long time, really hope you are okay!
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anonymouse . · 18 Jun 2016
I hope you're okay :(
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Linda S · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016 3
Sorry pandas for not being here. I feel like I was away for ages. It was just a long, strange, exhausting day. I feel worn out, drained and anxious. I've been visited by energy vampires :-(
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Some relatives I haven't seen for quite a while came over. At first sight I was happy about it. But they didn't really say anything helpful, quite the contrary, they made me sad, angry and anxious. At some point I pretended to be
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Lucy A · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
interested and stopped reacting to things that made me feel bad. I was completely detached, the only thing on my mind: my soul was thirsty for being alone, silently screaming. I don't know if this is too hard, but tbh I hope they won't visit me again
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David B · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 12 Jun 2016
Sumtimz its just easier bein on our own wen no1 else understands wat we are goin thru!pple may tink dy are helping but they dont understand!u are amazing and u deserve to have sum alone time for urself!
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Vicky B · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Linda S · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Myself T · 12 Jun 2016
That sounds unbelievably hard. But you managed to try and do something to stop the vampires. They meant the best, I'm sure. Sending you much love and energising hugs.
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 12 Jun 2016
I'm sorry you've been so exhausted. Take your time to recover
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Cindy M · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 12 Jun 2016
Look after yourself
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Silke V · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 14 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 14 Jun 2016
Sometimes its best to be without those relatives you dont see often, as bad as it sounds they dont have a clue which no fault of anyone can make things worse! x
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Natalie C · 14 Jun 2016
Sending you bigs hugs :)
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Alexander T · 14 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016 7
A lot better today, social worker came to visit me again today. Yesterday I called my mum, but she couldn't really cheer me up, so she asked my social worker to look after me. It was good =)
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
I'm so blessed with all the support I get from you pandas <3 my family <3 and friends <3 my therapist <3 and social worker <3 and I'm so grateful =)
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Buffy C · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Buffy C · 10 Jun 2016
Really glad to hear that you have some great supports. <3
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Aiden A · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Linda S · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 10 Jun 2016
Glad to hear your having a better day :)
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H F · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Fiona C · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Fiona C · 10 Jun 2016
Happy you're having a better day too!
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Silke V · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Wendy A · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Wendy A · 11 Jun 2016
Hang in girl, from experience I tell you...it will someday, get much better...not sure when or how long it'll take...but omgoodness...it'll surely get better...lots hugs for you!
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thank you all lovely awesome fellow pandas so much, I appreciate your support <3 *bigpandagrouphug* Thanks a lot, sweet Buffy, it's great =) Thank you, dear Natalie <3 Thank you too, lovely Fiona <3 Sweet Wendy bear, thank you very much, I guess
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
you're right, no, I know it. It's just a matter of time, it needs a little patience. Thanks again for your wise words, huge hugs to you <3
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
Sounds like you have an amazing support team. You can tackle the world with that!
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016 3
It's getting better, thanks to you lovely pandas <3 I couldn't stop crying and was close to doing something, I'd regret. But it gets easier, the hurt and the weight, that pulled me down slowly go away
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Natalie C · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 09 Jun 2016
Sorry to hear youre having a really tough time :( sending you big hugs. Proud you didnt do something you may late regret. That sure takes courage and bravery x
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
Glad you are feeling better again, and proud of you for not doing something you'd regret!!
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DesBear D · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 10 Jun 2016
Strong Susanne bear, you are the shining beacon. I am glad you feel a little better xx
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T S · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
My beloved pandas, thank you very much <3 Sending lots of cuddly hugs to you <3 Thanks a lot, sweet Natalie, today it's already so much better =) Your kind words are heartwarming <3 Thank you so much, dear Daria, thanks a lot for your sweet comment
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
it's much appreciated <3 Thank you lovely Binky bear, your kind comment makes me so happy =) Much love to everyone of you <3
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Meggie B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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H F · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Fiona C · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thank you very much, my dear panda pals <3 Big fluffy hugs to you, Meggie, H F, Fiona, Alexander and Melissa <3
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016 0
I'm done with the world for now :,-( sorry lovely pandas, I will answer your comments later.
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Ksenia S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Anth W · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Don S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Linda S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Becky W NEW · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 09 Jun 2016
*joins you in the dark*
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
you better not be done with the world for good.
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Wendy A · 09 Jun 2016
Been there before...really su&ks! Feel for ya...and care...
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
My lovelies, thank you very much, I can't even find the right words to express, what it means to me, that I can count on you <3 You all are my light in the darkness <3 *biggestpandagrouphug* Thanks a lot, my dear Taryn bear, it helped me so much
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
to imagine you sitting beside me, not being alone, I'm deeply moved and grateful <3 Thank you, my sweet Alexander, it gets better, I guess I'm not finally done with the world yet ;-) Thank you very much, dear Wendy <3 I l'm sorry to hear you've
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
been there too, I hope none of us will ever (have to) return to this dark place. Best wishes to you <3
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
it seems you feel better now and that makes me happy. your comments always mean so much to me, so seeing you sad upsets me
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Wendy A · 09 Jun 2016
Glad you are feeling little better...hugs!
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DesBear D · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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T S · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, you sweet panda pals, Big fluffy hugs to you, lovely James, Daria, Wendy, desdmonia, Stephen, Binky and T S <3 Thanks a lot, dear Daria, indeed, things definitely improved =) Aww, your kind comment is so touching <3 Thank
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
you too, sweet Wendy <3
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Meggie B · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Fiona C · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Myself T · 11 Jun 2016
I'm so happy to see you are feeling better now. You are such a bright and wonderful person, you fill me with inspiration. I am glad you took no action. Massive hugs.
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
You pandas are really an incredible source of comfort and support <3 Thank you so much, dear Meggie, Alexander Fiona, Melissa and Myself T <3 You all mean the world to me <3 Thanks a lot, lovely Myself T, I'm deeply moved, you make my heart wanna
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
sing =) You're such a kind, caring and wonderful panda and I'm so grateful <3 My biggest hugs to you
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
I am so sorry that you felt this way. And so so so happy that you are still here, still in this world. It can be awful place sometimes, but usually it's a very good place to be. Sorry that I wasn't here before :( I am so glad that you are okay, I
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
don't know what I would do if you would be gone. Much love, hugs and support on your way, my strong and powerful dear friend. You can do this!!
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016 2
Medical aopraiser from court visited me here in general hospital regarding my care allowance. No good <- understatement. I'm so pissed off and so hurt. It was pure ridicule. No proper examination
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
No validation for my struggles. I know I shouldn't take it to heart and I really wanted to stay in the green, but it hurts so much. It's like all I've been through is meaningless. Honestly the moment he left, I felt like jumping off a bridge.
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Inbetween l'm just crying. [sarcasm on] Yeah, filling out a 10 point questionnaire and using the stethoscope teils you so much about my mental illness and other problems and it teils you exactly, how much help I need. [sarcasm off] I'm so tired of it
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Tasha S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Sam A · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Linda S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Don S · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 09 Jun 2016
I'm so sorry, Susanne xx
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Wendy A · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
My dear fellow pandas, thank you so much for being here for me, it really helps to know you're here and to feel the love through all your hugs <3 And I send loads of them back to you. Never forget that I appreciate everyone of you so much <3
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, sweet Taryn, for your kind comment <3
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
Lovely Daria, desdmonia and Stephen <3 Thank you so much *pandacuddles*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
My beloved Alexander panda, thanks a lot, sending lots of hugs back to you <3 Dear Melissa, thank you too for your support <3 Huge hugs for you
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016 10
Awesome! That's what it is =) Here's a 100% happy panda. Had a really productive therapy day. Physiotherapist allowed me to go on crutches on my own, social worker visited, we talked...
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
...while having a short walk outside. Being able to have a walk whenever I want and no longer needing a wheel chair makes me so happy =) And I'm pain free today. Plus I had 7 hours of good sleep without nightmares, 1x acid again, but I'll have a
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
higher done of my homeopathic gastric protection tonight and that should solve it. And I have tried the combination of 3 flashback coping mechanisms and it worked well. Plus I think I can do without anxiety meds, so no further chemicals in my system
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
I've never felt this happy =) Everything's looking good. Thanks lovely pandas for your support all the time <3
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Jeff M · 08 Jun 2016
Seeing this makes me very happy! :) I'm so glad you're doing good!
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Jeff M · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 08 Jun 2016
well done this is very pleasing.
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Jake G CHIEFPANDA · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Pamela I · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 08 Jun 2016
Happy to read this!!
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R. S NEW · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 08 Jun 2016
So happy for you!!well done!being positive pays off!ur a rolemodel to so many! :)
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Stephen P · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Gabi M · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 09 Jun 2016
My heart is filled with joy and relief when I read this my dear friend <3 Long may this last :)
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 09 Jun 2016
this is so great I am so happy for you!!!!
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Taryn H · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Thank you all so much, you mean everything to me <3 Your support is priceless and your hugs are a blessing. And I'm so grateful for your positive vibes =) *bigpandagrouphug* <3 Thank you lovely Jeff, Alexander, Silke, Vicky, Claire and Daria for your
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
heartwarming comments =) Just in this moment, where I feel so low, you pick me up with your love, that's the greatest gift ever <3 Thanks to all you sweet pandas for your hugs, they're much appreciated <3 I hope I can give back as much as I receive.
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thank you two lovelies, Alexander and Melissa <3 *pandacuddles* having you in my heart
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Manda P · 12 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 13 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016 7
Had 7 hours of sleep without nightmares and only woke up once from acid regurgitation. My mood is lifted too and I'm going to enjoy this sunny day =)
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
I will see if acid regurgitation is due to new pain killers, if yes, I'll have a little more of my homeopathic gastric protection, so no further chemicals needed. All things look manageable today =)
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paul M · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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paul M · 07 Jun 2016
Ahh, acid. To me it comes exactly at midnight.
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Lizzy V · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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J R · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 07 Jun 2016
That's great to see! :)
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
Yay :)
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Amanda T · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Dante P · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Beau A · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
All you lovely pandas here & in my heart, thank you so much <3 Sending huge fluffy hugs over to you =) Dear Paul, it's a nasty thing. Have you tried gastric protection or something similar, that neutralizes the acid in your stomach?
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, sweet Jeff =) Thank you too, my lovely Claire <3
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Dear panda friend, thank you so much <3 Biggest hugs and much love to you.
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016 4
Feeling better, didn't self-harm, so I'm still clean for over a month (25th of April was last). Used healthy alternatives instead. Some flashbacks left me quite overwhelmed.
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
The moment when they occur is agony, but I'm coping. Had another talk with doc later, he came to my room to ask, if the new pain killer works without causing stomach cramps. Yes, it works so far, I hope this also works with my sleeping pill.
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
He also said, we should talk with my psychiatrist about additional meds, like for anxiety, that would make me calmer in general and especially after flashbacks and nightmares in addition to my SSRI and sleeping pill. What's your experience with
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
anxiety meds, pandas? Answers appreciated
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Natalie C · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Clara B · 06 Jun 2016
I'm afraid I've got no advice of experiences to share but just to say I hope you manage to work things out ok and I'm so happy for you, for managing to stay clean :) brilliant! Good luck with the flashbacks, thinking of you <3
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Clara B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Marie S · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 07 Jun 2016
I am so proud of you! every day without self harm is a step towards Recovery. and a month is already so long!! that are amazing news
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Jenna L · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Amy B · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
Aww, thank you so much lovely panda friends <3 I'm so grateful for your kind words and hugs *huggingback* <3 Thanks a lot, dear Clara, don't worry, I will talk to my psychiatrist and she'll answer all questions =) You make me smile and I
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
appreciate it so much <3 Thank you very much, sweet Daria, your comment really warms my heart <3 Thanks again you two lovelies <3
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J R · 07 Jun 2016
Hey Susanne! Also no experience with meds but flashbacks cause me to say a particular word and once I say it out loud it seems to make me feel a bit better. I also find physically moving, even just across the room helps me move away from the flashbac
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J R · 07 Jun 2016
Sometimes they are just too intense and I just have to hold on and wait for the feeling to pass. I hope you feel better soon!
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J R · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
Dear J R, thank you very much for your support <3 I use to count to 5, when I have a flashback, as long as I count I only focus on that and ignore everything else, that helps me through the 'agony' phase =) That's a great idea, I could make 5
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
big steps away from it. Maybe I can even combine it with the 'safe circle' practice, where you imagine a safe place, creating that circle the way you want it to be and put in memories of feeling safe. I could step in that circle with the 5thstep =)
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
I will try that out. Thanks again for helping and inspiring me <3 Huge hugs to you
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
I am so proud of you <3 I don't know about the meds, but what I have heard is that they aren't really good, because they really won't remove the cause of anxiety, and that they might even make you more anxious. I wouldn't take them for my anxiety,
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
because I believe in natural methods more. Of course there are situations when you need meds, but if I can avoid them and use something alternative, I will :D But I feel you know the methods for anxiety already, so if you feel they don't help enough,
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Claire M · 07 Jun 2016
maybe you can try the meds out. I'm hoping all the best for you my dear, I hope you find good solution.
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nixiblu . · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Beau A · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Thank you very much, lovely Claire <3 Oh, that doesn't sound good indeed, but I talked to the doc today, that I'll try it without them. I don't want so much chemicals in my body. If I feel I can't do without those meds, I can still ask my
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
psychiatrist. Natural methods sound definitely better and you're right, I've already learned about them. I guess, I just need to practice ;-) Thank you so much again, my dear panda friend. By the way, today I tried the one flashback coping mechanism
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
and it worked well =) Big hugs to you, sweet Claire as well as to you, dear nixiblu, Amanda, Meggie, desdmonia and Beau <3 I'm so grateful for your support and you all sweet panda pals have my love <3
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Rafa B · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Rafa B · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jenna L · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Lovely Rafa, Alexander and Jenna, thanks a lot for hugging me <3 *huggingback*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016 2
Again nightmares and dreamt of a self-harm relapse. I feel the urge today, feeling pathetic. Talked to doc about pain killers, he gave me another one in the morning, but it caused a stomach cramp :-(
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Amy B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Amy B · 06 Jun 2016
Stay strong and fight the urge. You can do it!
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
I'm so fed up with all this, feel like crying. I just want to have recreative sleep. Is that too much asked? Called my best friend to get my self-harm toolkit from my flat and bring it, when she comes to visit me later.
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Ksenia S · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Julia K NEW · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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L ! NEW · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 06 Jun 2016
Think how good you'll feel if you resist! I hope you'll be ok, susanne! We're all here for you!
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Natalie C · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 06 Jun 2016
I know the frustration of medication changes & the side effects. Sending you hugs and strength to fight the urge to SH :(
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Natalie C · 06 Jun 2016
Your not pathetic, its ok to feel those emotions. Im sorry your having a rough time, be kind to yourself <3 hopefully tomorrows a little better x
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DINesh V NEW · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 06 Jun 2016
Self harm toolkit? I'm sorry. Big hugs for you!
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you all so much for your awesome support, it's priceless and means so much to me <3 Sending lots of fluffy panda hugs to everyone of you <3 Thanks a lot, dear Amy, gladly you were right, no self-harm relapse, I used healthy alternatives instead
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you, lovely Jeff, I thought about that, a month of being clean is too much to sacrifice just to satisfy a spontaneous urge. And I really feel good about resisting =) Thx again <3 Thank you very much, sweet Natalie, I'm so grateful for your
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
comments and I'm sorry to hear you know that too. Thank you too, sweet Esther, don't worry, it's a toolkit of healthy alternatives, I'm clean =)
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Stephen P · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 07 Jun 2016
Sweet Stephen and Daria <3 Thanks a lot you two lovelies *pandacuddles*
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 Jun 2016
good job staying strong! <3
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Beau A · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Thank you very much, dear Amanda, desdmonia and Beau, I'm so grateful for your hugs and send lots of them back to you <3 Thank you sweet desdmonia for your lovely comment, it makes me smile =)
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
My beloved Alexander panda <3 Thanks a lot for your continuous awesome support <3 *pandacuddles*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016 4
Still awake, can't fall asleep. Feeling lonely and lost right now. Background anxiety, detached. So tired and my eyes are weary too :-(
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Reba C · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Amy B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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L ! NEW · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Nina K · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Ksenia S · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 06 Jun 2016
Hope you feel better soon Susanne. Hope you got some good sleep. Sending comforting panda vibes xx
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you all Vers much for your support <3 I appreciate it and send loads of hugs back <3 Thank you, sweet Binky, at least I got 2 hours more sleep than yesterday =) Thanks again <3
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nixiblu . · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Beau A · 08 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Sweet nixiblu, Amanda and Beau <3 Thanks a lot for your hugs, sending loads back to you =)
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Lovely Alexander panda, thank you so much <3 *fluffypandahugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016 7
An uneasy feeling is on the rise, I feel a bit lonely and I'm a little afraid of going to bed (nightmares), but still nothing can bring me down, I'm still in the green...
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Reba C · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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J R · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Nick H · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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John S · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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John S · 06 Jun 2016
Hope you can get some reasonable sleep. It's tough when it becomes something you resent :(
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Vicky B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you very much for your support, all you lovely pandas <3 Sending much love and big hugs over to you <3 Thanks a lot, dear John, last night I got at least 5 hours of sleep, not really recreative, but still better than 3 hours =)
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nixiblu . · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
You two lovelies, nixiblu and Amanda, thank you so much, sending lots of cuddly hugs and much love over to you <3
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, my dear panda pal <3 Big hugs back
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016 8
Only 3 hours of sleep, but I'm still having that 'I don't let it pull me down' attitude =) I just got up, did a little exercise in bed & had a nice talk with a nurse. Now watching the thunderstorm.
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Sophia S NEW · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Just thinking: Is it possible, that the pain killers reduce the effect of my sleeping pill?
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Dante P · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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caapi C · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 05 Jun 2016
Hold on to that momentum!
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Silke V · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 05 Jun 2016
Maybe contact a doctor, it might be possible. Some medication you better not take together
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Natalie C · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Lovely panda folks thank you very much <3 I send lots of fluffy hugs back to everyone of you <3 Sweet Silke, thanks a lot for your advice. I'm gonna ask doc tomorrow, maybe we can fix that =)
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Sorry, dear Paul, I almost overlooked your comment. Thank you very much <3 I intend to do that =)
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Tasha S · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Sweet panda pals Tasha and Taryn, thank you so much <3 *cuddlyhugsback*
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John S · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, dear John, Claire, desdmonia and Daria <3 *huggingback*
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Meggie B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you too, sweet Meggie, huge hugs <3
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Lovely Amanda, thank you very much for your continuous support <3 Cuddly hugs for you =)
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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caapi C · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, you two lovelies Alexander and caapi <3 Hugs back to you sweet guys
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Paul A · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 10 Jun 2016
Sweet Paul, thanks a lot <3 *fluffypandahugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 10 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 04 Jun 2016 8
Had a nice saturday. My leg hurts, but today I'm strong enough to deal with it, not allowing it to have an impact on my mood. Feeling calm and relaxed, thanks to meditation =)
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Helen S · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Don S · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 05 Jun 2016
It works... most of the time. Like exercise, benefits come with practice.
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Reba C · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Randall S · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Michelle M · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot all you lovely pandas, sending loads of cuddly hugs out to you <3 I agree, dear PeaceNLove, things get better, the more I do them. There are enough situations, when I forget that I have a choice to do me something good, but I learn =)
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Natalie C · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
You two lovelies, thank you very much, dear Natalie and Taryn <3 *pandacuddles*
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Claire M · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, my beloved panda friend <3 *lotsofhugsback*
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Meggie B · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Lovely Meggie, thank you very much <3 Cuddly hugs for you
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
Thank you, dear Amanda panda, big hugs back to you <3
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Alexander T · 09 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 09 Jun 2016
Lovely Alexander, you really know, when I l could use some extra hugs, thank you very much, I'm eternally grateful <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 03 Jun 2016 6
Slept like a log last night, that was recreative. But I'm though a little depressed today. Physiotherapy was ok, my leg didn't hurt, but I had headache. Inbetween it's gone and my mood gets better too
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Paul A · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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caapi C · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Rach . · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 04 Jun 2016
Sounds like an up and down day like mine. :)
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PandaSoph D · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Laird Wolfg S · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 04 Jun 2016
My dear panda pals, thank you all so much *pandagrouphugs* <3 I'm sorry to hear that, sweet PeaceNLove, I hope you had a better day inbetween <3
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Claire M · 05 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 05 Jun 2016
Thank you, beloved Claire panda, sending lots of fluffy hugs on your way <3
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Manda P · 07 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 08 Jun 2016
*huggingback* sweet Amanda bear, thanks a lot <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016 8
Sitting on hospital's balcony with my mum, enjoying a lovely evening. Still having this little uneasy feeling, but seeing my mum laugh again fills my heart with joy. Almost untroubled =)
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
It's the first time she laughs, since she were at psychiatrist with my twin sis. Inbetween she set a boundary too, we'll both be here for her, if she decides to accept help. But as long as she doesn't, we won't waste time and energy on useless
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
worries, we rather enjoy the here and now, just like this almost perfect moment. It doesn't need to being perfect, the weather is lovely, not too hot and those few stitches in my leg don't really matter.
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Silke V · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 02 Jun 2016
Enjoying the now is all that matters. ??
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
<3
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
that's lovely, I am happy to hear that!
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Pamela I · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 03 Jun 2016
Wise choice Susanne. Big hugs.
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Binky B · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 03 Jun 2016
Reading this makes me happy :-)
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Meggie B · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 03 Jun 2016
My beloved panda friends, thank you all so much, sending huge hugs back to everyone of you <3 Dear Paul, thanks a lot, you hit the nail on the head =) Thank you sweet Claire and Daria, much love <3 Thanks a lot, dear Reba, I appreciate them <3
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Susanne M · 03 Jun 2016
Aww, I'm so pleased to read that, lovely Binky =) Thanks again all you awesome pandas <3
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caapi C · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 04 Jun 2016
Sweet caapi, thank you very much <3 *pandacuddles*
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Julia K NEW · 06 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 06 Jun 2016
Thank you, dear Julia *huggingback*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016 5
Fitful sleep last night, but still: at least 6 hours sleep (that's much better than than the night before). And it helped. My mood is much better too. Slightly uneasy, but that's ok.
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Vicky B · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Beau A · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Beau A · 02 Jun 2016
glad to hear you're feeling somewhat better. lots of warm hugs. hope you'll get a good nights sleep soon. x
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Myself T · 02 Jun 2016
Very glad to hear you are feeling more positive... lots of hugs, and keep smiling xxxxx
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DesBear D · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 02 Jun 2016
Good to see you are doing better now. Keep it up! ;)
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Meggie B · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
Glad to hear you're feeling better <3 My biggest hugs, you can do this x
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thank you so much, all you lovelies <3 Sending huge hugs over to you along with my perfect appreciation <3 Thanks a lot, sweet Beau, I guess, tonight it will be the right time for good sleep =) Thank you very much, dear Myself T, I'll do
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
that, in the end, every bad phase is followed by a good one =) Lovely Paul, thanks a lot, I intend to do that =) My sweet Claire, thank you so much for your encouraging comment <3 Much love xoxo
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
so good to hear that you are getting better!
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Stephen P · 03 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 03 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, lovely Daria <3 Thank you too, Stephen <3 Huge cuddly hugs to you two lovelies =)
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nixiblu . · 04 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 04 Jun 2016
Thank you, lovely nixiblu, sending lots of cuddly hugs back to you <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016 2
Bad night followed by a bad day :,-( Feeling irritable, empty, numb, anxious, depressed. And I'm feeling really weak after multiple panic attacks. FML
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Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016
Meditation didn't help, had nightmares, woke up really scared, extreme night sweat, bedclothes had to be changed and I couldn't fall asleep again afterwards. Physiotherapy was exhausting, acute pain in my leg. Psychotherapy was canceled and
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Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016
my therapist forgot to tell me, that she couldn't come. But I need her so much today. Going through dissociative episodes followed by flashbacks and being overwhelmed by emotional pain. I want this to end.
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Don S · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 01 Jun 2016
Such a hard day for u Susanne :( keep trying to have a positive attitude, u seem to be amazing at that!hopefully things wil improve for you very soon x
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Vicky B · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Mackie G · 01 Jun 2016
You can get through this. Tons of hugs!
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Ksenia S · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 01 Jun 2016
Sorry, Susannebear...these tough days will pass. Just got to get through them. It's ok to be down and frustrated, but know that better days will come! Sending you strength!
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Paul A · 01 Jun 2016
*This needs more hugs* Allow yourself to rest, take a hot shower or bath. Do anything that you do make yourself at ease. Writing down negative thoughts and throwing them away seems to help me a lot.
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Alexander T · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jennifer C · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 02 Jun 2016
I'm so sorry lovely. Be kind and patient with yourself through this time. Sending you lots of love xx
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Sarah P · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thank you all so much for standing by me with good advice and love <3 I appreciate it so much, it means a lot to me <3 Lovely Vicky, thank you very much, I took yourself advice to heart and told myself the next day will be better, and it is indeed =)
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thanks again for your kind words <3 Thank you, sweet Mackie, you were right and you hugs arrived and helped me <3 Thanks a lot, dear Jeff, I'm so grateful for your support, you were right too, thank you for the strength <3
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
* your advice ;-) That's really lovely, thank you very much, sweet Paul, I took time to write down all that was going on inside of me, throwed it away and felt really relieved. It helped me a lot to fall asleep <3 My dear Taryn bear, thanks a Iot,
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
your advice helped meine too <3 You reminded me of how to deal with this situations best. That it's better to accept and let it out, instead of being inpatient and fighting against myself. Thank you again <3
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
* me * impatient ;-) autocorrection struck XD
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Beau A · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
My sweet panda pals, thank you, lovely Beau, desdmonia, Meggie and Claire <3 *pandagrouphugs*
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Paul A · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 02 Jun 2016
that sounds rough. I hope you recover soon, these days won't last forever
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Susanne M · 03 Jun 2016
Thank you very much, dear Paul and Daria <3 I guess I'm on the way =) You hit the nail on the head <3 *pandacuddles* to both of you
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Paul A · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
You lovelies <3 Thank you so much *huggingback*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 31 May 2016 7
Feeling relaxed after my nap, still a little tired (of course a 2h nap can't replace 7h sleep). But I'll prepare to get this tonight, I'll do a meditation later, that should help =)
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DesBear D · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Nick H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016
Thank you very much <3 Everyone of you is a gem and I'm so grateful for your hugs <3 Sending loads of them back to you all <3
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Sarah P · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
You two lovelies, thanks a lot <3 Big hugs back to you, Sarah and Anna <3
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Claire M · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thank you very much, my dear Claire <3 I'm so grateful for your continuous support <3 *pandacuddles*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 31 May 2016 6
Almost 0 sleep last night, but I'm though pretty even. I'm at ease with myself again, at peace =) I'll have a nap now. Btw: I'm looking forward to tomorrow (therapy day again) - Everything's alright
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Binky B · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Taryn H · 31 May 2016
I'm so glad that you have some calm x
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Melissa H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Thanks a lot all you lovely, fluffy pandas <3 Sending huge hugs over to you =) Thanks you, sweet Taryn <3
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Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016
Sweet Meggie, Sam, Daria and Vicky, thank you very much <3 *pandagrouphugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thank you, dear Sarah <3 Big fluffy hugs to you
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Meggie B · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Sarah P · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Sam H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Vicky B · 01 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 31 May 2016 4
So tired, but can't sleep. Nauseous, anxious. I don't know, I feel strained, drained. No idea, what it is, maybe this day was a little exhausting. Getting sad, feeling a little lonely.
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Maybe this mood dip means coping. I didn't really think about what A. said, I was more worried about frienships. But I must confess in hurts to be told, my friend's ***e was my fault. I thought, when we talk about it, things are fine again.
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
This is a real surprise now. I thought I would be over this topic. But tbh there's a voice, that whispers 'guilty', I guess I blocked in out. Now I hear it, and it makes me cry :,-(
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
* it not in
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4Give 1 · 31 May 2016
Innocent. Your soul is perfect, spotless. Chattering ego is not u. Just wisps of thought.
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4Give 1 · 31 May 2016
There's a part of I that wants to blame and punish. It's there. Acknowledge. What's it needing?
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Thank you so much for your comments, that just opened my eyes. That voice is doubt, people were always telling me, it isn't my fault, I accepted it, but I didn't believe it 100%, because I never told it to myself. And it hurts, because I wanted
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
it to hurt, I allowed it. No one can hurt me, when I don't allow it. It takes 2, one to hurt, one to let it happen. There was something inside broken. It needs me to say, it's okay, it wasn't my fault. It whispered first, screamed then, because it
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
wanted me to hear it, so that I can't block it out any longer. It needs me accept it, forgive others, forgive myself, love myself, no matter what... Thanks a lot again for that insight.
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Ego is also anxious about losing more people, who love me (because I don't love myself). I need to stop searching for love on the outside,
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Ksenia S · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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J R · 31 May 2016
Sending lots of love and fluffy hugs!
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J R · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 31 May 2016
Big warm comforting hugs
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Claire M · 31 May 2016
It most definitely was not your fault. My biggest hugs, I hope you'll feel better soon <3
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Stephen P · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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4Give 1 · 31 May 2016
We'll said. When we can embrace the hurting parts and allow the hurt to express it self because we give it spaciousness, we can heal because we're integrated-not trying to suppress while acknowledging the transience of what's there.
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Daria V · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 31 May 2016
don't listen to that voice!! whatever happened, it was not your fault
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
My lovelies, thank you all so much <3 I send loads of cuddly hugs and much love over to you <3 Thanks a lot, dear J R, I appreciate them <3 Thank you, sweet Binky, they helped me a lot <3 Thank you so much, my dear Claire, for reassuring me, today
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
I can accept and believe it 100%. I'm so grateful <3 and I'm glad to say things are much better today =) Thanks again, lovely PeaceNLove =) As much as I didn't understand things before, they were clear after reading your comments. You name it,
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
it wants attention, awareness, it wants to be seen =) It feels a lot better, now that I've don't that =) Thank you too, dear Daria, your lovely comment warms my heart <3
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Meggie B · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Thanks a lot, dear Meggie, fluffy hugs to you <3 - Btw: * done, not don't ;-)
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DesBear D · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 01 Jun 2016
Lovely desdmonia bear <3 Thank you so much <3 *cuddlyhugsback*
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Sarah P · 02 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 02 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, sweet Sarah *huggingback* <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 30 May 2016 7
It took almost the whole afternoon, today to get things sorted out again after the backstabber has messed up everything. It went well. All is fine, no frienship is broken...
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
He was just jealous. Can you believe that? It's really childish. He is 26, old enough, I thought, to talk about things...
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
Oh I forgot to tell: First try walking on crutches went well too. I'm not allowed to walk alone, but at least just being out of bed / wheel chair is so relieving =)
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Alexander T · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 31 May 2016
Some people just never grow up... Yay, amazing news! Keep that up!! :)
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Daria V · 31 May 2016
that sounds great!!
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Daria V · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Thank you all very much, it's so soothing to know you're around <3 Big fluffy hugs back to everyone. Lovely Claire, thanks a lot, I guess you hit the nail on the head =) I'll do that, it's awesome what difference such simple things like being able
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
to walk around make. <3 Thank you very much, sweet Daria, indeed it is =)
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Meggie B · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Sweet Meggie, thanks a lot <3 *huggingback*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 29 May 2016 2
***ing liar! Backstabber! A. told my friend, who was in mental hospital too, that I think she's guilty of our friend's ***e. And to me he said, she thinks, it was my fault. I know this isn't true.
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
She refused my phone calls, since she was discharged. I was worry
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Tristan G · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
worried, but I didn't want to overreact. She didn't call me too. Now that I have texted with my best friend I found it out. He made the mistake to accidentially reveal to her, what he did. Asshole! I don't think that and she doesn't think that.
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Knowing that saved our frienship and I'm really relieved about that. But I'm so pissed off at him, can't understand what he wanted. What should that be good for? I'm so angry...
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Priscilla C · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Priscilla C · 29 May 2016
some people like to cause trouble. I am glad you found out the truth x
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J R · 29 May 2016
I hope you both find peace in this situation Suzanne and I hope you get the opportunity to reconcile together - sending warm hugs in the meantime x
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Fiona C · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 30 May 2016
Of course it's not true.I m so sorry you have been drawn into thiis. P
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Andrea G · 30 May 2016
People are strange at times and look for blame. It will pass. You know the truth so hold onto that. I hope you can rise above the maliciousNess and resolve the issue. Xx
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Melissa H · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 30 May 2016
Oh what the heck.. It definitely wasn't anyones fault. I'm glad you both know the truth. So sorry that you need to deal with such a stupidity...
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Jordan T NEW · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
Thank you very much for your awesome support, my beloved panda friends <3 Thank you, dear Priscilla, I guess you're right. He did it, because he was jealous. Instead of joining in, when we came together, he stayed away and then felt left out. And
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
instead of talking about it, he did that. At least no frienship is broken and finally I can understand him. Thank you very much, lovely J R, I'm glad to say, things are all richtig now again =) Thanks a lot, sweet Andrea, I was really shocked
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
yesterday, today's talking about it took a heavy load off my shoulders. Thank you so much, my dear Claire, I couldn't be happier about knowing it was no one's fault. Big hugs to all you pandas and thx again <3
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DesBear D · 31 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 31 May 2016
Thank you lovely desdmonia bear <3 *pandacuddles*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 29 May 2016 6
Overall a relaxed sunday, playing cards with friends. Not overly happy today, here & there a little fretful, then dissociative, I don't really know what it is. But well, I managed to stay in the green
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Stephen P · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Fiona C · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 30 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
*bigpandagrouphug*xoxo <3 Thank you very much everyone, I appreciate all your hugs <4
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
Four Four Four not again XD of course I meant: <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 28 May 2016 9
Probs with air con in general hospital today, it was really hot. And really really ***ing hot my leg in plaster. Thank goodness, the promising sound of thunder was followed by relieving rain.
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Anna . · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Lizzy V · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Thank you all lovely, fluffy panda bears, I appreciate your hugs and send ließ off them back to you <3
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
* lots of... ;-)
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Daria V · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Sweet Daria, thanks a lot <3 Big, cuddly hugs to you.
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Fiona C · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 30 May 2016
Thank you, dear Fiona and Meggie <3 Huge hugs back to you
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 27 May 2016 8
Another sunny day =) Still happy, but also pretty calm and even. I'm grateful and contented with that. And it's now 4 green days in a row, things definitely get better, I'm confident.
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Mandy O · 27 May 2016
Great to see you in the green :D
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Jeff M · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 27 May 2016
Wonderful to see! :)
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Jessie S · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Myself T · 27 May 2016
Fantastic! I hoe you keep it green. Lots of love and hugs xxxxx
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Tristan G · 27 May 2016
That's a hill of green. Excellent!
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Tristan G · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 28 May 2016
Green suits your sunny personality! Very happy for you x
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Tasha S · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Thank you all so much, your positive vibes make me so happy =) Sending loads of them back to you along with cuddly hugs to everyone <3 Thanks a lot, sweet Mandy, and it feels great to be in the green again <3 Dear Jeff, thank you very much <3
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Lovely Myself T, thanks, I'm again in the green today =) Dear Tristan, thank you too, I haven't recognized it yet, but inderd it looks like a hill =) Aww, lovely Andrea, thank you so much *bigsmile* so pleased to read your kind words <3
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Melissa H · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 29 May 2016
4 green days in a row, that's fantasic. i am so happy for you!
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Thanks a lot, you sweet pandas, Melissa, Alexander and Daria <3 Thank you very much for your lovely words =) Big hugs to y'all
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thank you two sweet panda pals, I send you lots of hugs back <3
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 26 May 2016 10
What a hot, lovely day =) Spent almost the whole day outside of general hospital, friends took me out to my favorite park. They planned without telling me, big surprise <3
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Janine S · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Courtney O · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Courtney O · 27 May 2016
Oh that's awesome :)
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Reba C · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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paul M · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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angelica s NEW · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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angelica s NEW · 27 May 2016
This is so nice!
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Anna . · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 27 May 2016
Aww you have such a great friends :)
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Stephen P · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 27 May 2016
Thank you very much fellow pandas <3 Indeed I'm blessed with my friends, including you guys <3 Big big hugs to everyone of you <3
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Meggie B · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Lovely Meggie and Alexander, thanks a lot for your hugs, I appreciate them and send lots of them back <3
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Melissa H · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Thank you so much for your continuous support, dear Melissa <3 *fuzzycuddles*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thanks a lot, my dear Alexander and Melissa xoxo
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 25 May 2016 9
A good (therapy) day ;-) Psychotherapy: It was so nice to talk to her & to be reassured. Physiotherapy: he said I'm doing well with my exercise in bed / wheel chair, ready for crutches next week.
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
He meant, if I keep that up, I could try walking with crutches after examination of my leg on monday. Absolutely looking forward to it =)
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Meggie B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Tabby C · 25 May 2016
awesome!
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Henriette S · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 25 May 2016
Thats great news susanne :) well done on your progress! x
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Claire M · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 25 May 2016
Yay, wonderful news!! :)
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Myself T · 25 May 2016
ThAt greAt to hear xxx
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Mike K · 25 May 2016
Something to look forward to.
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Alexander T · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 26 May 2016
Yay. Xx
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DesBear D · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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PandaSoph D · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 26 May 2016
Well that's a step in the right direction. Excuse the pun..!
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Anna . · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 26 May 2016
Thank you all so much <3 Warms my heart to see all your hugs and comments <3 Huge hugs over to you =) Thanks a lot, sweet Natalie, I'm very happy about that <3 Thank you very much, lovely Claire <3 Dear Myself T, thank you too <3 Indeed, sweet Mike,
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Susanne M · 26 May 2016
thanks a lot =) Thank you, dear Andrea <3 Haha ;-) Lovely Binky, you're definitely right, thanks a lot <3
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angelica s NEW · 27 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 27 May 2016
Sweet angelica, thank you very much <3 *bighugsback*
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Daria V · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Thanks a lot, dear Alexander and Daria <3 Huge hugs to you
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PandaSoph D · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Thanks you two lovelies, PandaSoph and Melissa <3 *pandacuddles*
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Your continuous support is amazing and I appreciate it so much, thank you Alexander and Melissa *cuddlyhugsback* <3
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PandaSoph D · 18 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 25 May 2016 8
Today I figured out what's the difference between ruth and true compassion. Ruth makes my sis & me victims, both suffering. True compassion helps both of us, allows us to focus on ourselves.
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
When I feel ruth, I suffer with her, that doesn't help her since she can't focus on herself completely when she has to worry about me. When I feel true compassion, I just acknowledge how she feels without letting it pull me down. I remain even
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
and she can focus her whole attention on herself getting better. I can feel good about that.
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Supercat C NEW · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
Hey, my dear friend P. Just found your light bulb floating over my head ;-) sending out the bright light of knowledge, making what you said years ago more comprehensible. Thank you for showing me the way of true compassion.
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
This day was really productive and I can confirm one of his other messages I didn't understand when he told me years ago. Whatever you have to deal with, it happens for the purpose of learning and growing stronger. G'Night pandas <3
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Sam A · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Amanda T · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Michelle M · 25 May 2016
Really pleased you've found peace and place you can help yourself and your sister :D
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paul M · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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John S · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
Thanks you lovely folks for all your support and hugs <3 I'm so grateful and send lots of fluffy hugs back to you <3 Thank you, sweet Michelle, I'm very pleased about that too, I think that's now the foundation to be here for my sis while keeping
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
myself safe, without shutting off my feelings and being finally overwhelmed by them =) Thanks again <4
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
Haha <4 one false number breaks a heart XD of course I meant this one <3
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Esther B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Andrea G · 26 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 26 May 2016
My lovelies, thanks a lot, dear Esther, Natalie and Andrea <3 Cuddly panda hugs to you.
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Thank you lovely Alexander panda <3 *huggingback*
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Melissa H · 29 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
Sweet Melissa, thank you very much *bighugsback* <4
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Susanne M · 29 May 2016
<3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Melissa H · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 11 Jun 2016
Thank you two lovelies, you're both so kind <3 Huge hugs
Once logged in you can be part of the community
Susanne M · 24 May 2016 7
Been surprised and made happy. A friend I haven't seen for quite a while visited me and gave me a Talisman. Feeling loved and protected =)
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Alexander T · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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paul M · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Alexander T · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Claire M · 24 May 2016
=)
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DesBear D · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Stephen P · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Yvonne S · 24 May 2016
You are loved and protected e might not always feel it but we are <3
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Andrea G · 24 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
Thanks a lot my fluffy panda pals <3 Loads of fuzzy huge to everyone of you <3 You are right, lovely Yvonne, thank you. Everyone of us is loved and appreciated, protected and welcome <3
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
* huge fuzzy hugs of course ;-)
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wes Y · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Anna . · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Meggie B · 25 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 25 May 2016
Lovely fellow pandas, thank you very much <3 Big cuddly hugs to you, wes, Anna and Margret <3
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Alexander T · 28 May 2016
*Hugs*
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Susanne M · 28 May 2016
Thank you very much, my dear <3
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Alexander T · 11 Jun 2016
*Hugs*
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