4.2 avg
  178 days
  2146 hugs
  43 followers
5 Mandy O
1d ·
Severe anxiety - support workers coming over with the gas inspection guy, the electric guy and the surveyor because I haven't opened the door to them when I've had appointments 4 times now lol
Ali H
5h ·

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nixiblu .
5h ·

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Doodles B
5h ·

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Jeff M
5h ·

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Manda P
5h ·

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Manda P
5h ·

You can do it. I get anxiety when the Internet guys come over or when our huge TV was delivered, but it's not so bad. Actually had good chats with them. Hope your anxiety eases & you can open the door!

Rorschach T
5h ·

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Cindy M
3h ·

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Cindy M
3h ·

Hope it went okay

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5 Mandy O
2d ·
Everything feels weird around me. I'm calm again .. I was having the start of a break down and now Im feeling numb and unable to remember how I felt 5 mins ago...! Am I going insane?? This is weird
Jeff M
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

Each time you have an emotion, give it room, allow it to be, don't fight it. Trust me, it's opposite to what you think you should do but you will feel better.

Squid C
2d ·

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Amita K
2d · NEW

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Binky B
2d ·

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Cindy M
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

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Richard E
20h ·

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Éva H
18h ·

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3 Mandy O
2d ·
Sorry to keep writing n writing n moaning it's helping me understand my feelings when I write.. I know why I'm crying n angry... I seen my little girl today and it's hurting me so much .. She screams
Mandy O
2d ·

every time I leave... I couldn't help getting ***al last year .. Because I tried to kill myself I've lost my daughter... She is my world... I'm feeling terrible guilt and anger with myself. I can't get stable because she's away from me :( :(

Rorschach T
2d ·

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Josie B
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

Aw, Mandy, I'm sorry! But she'll grow up...she'll understand. And you're still there for her, even if not as often as you want. Things change...you'll get things together and will be with her! *Big hugs*

Mandy O
2d ·

Thank you n thanks Jeff... I am able to take your comment in with understanding as I am much stronger now and able to tell myself just that each day.... But then every so often my stomach suddenly turns and I'm unable to make sense of what happened X

Squid C
2d ·

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Amita K
2d · NEW

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Binky B
2d ·

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Saumya G
2d ·

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stephen B
1d ·

Mandy your daughter will adapt very quickly thats what children do , what we do as adults and i was bad for this myself when i got divorced was to put adult emotions and feeling in what I thought my kids were thinking and feeling , i thought like me

stephen B
1d ·

that when I left after each visit they were devastated but im sure they just wanted to get back to the tv or their toys ... you have to forgive yourself for being ill and leaving before you can more on and heal yourself .... get yourself better your

stephen B
1d ·

daughter will always love you and she will get to an age where she will understand the events that led to her being away from you .... this is what happened to me and im sure many others x x x

Cindy M
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

It'll be ok, Mandy. She will grow and understand. She will see how strong you are & admire that. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now, but it'll get easier. xx

Éva H
18h ·

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3 Mandy O
2d ·
I'm crying! Haven't cried in ages.. I've been happy so don't know what's wrong or why I'm crying! I think my body's reacting to my mind when it started thinking about self harming!!! Cry cry cry!!!!
Mandy O
2d ·

So embarrassed I'm acting this way ... I feel like I'm going insane inside my own mind... Talking to myself in my head and having a mini breakdown ... Trying not to scream in hysterics as next door called the police last time.. so ANGRY!!!!

Rorschach T
2d ·

This happened to me last week, cried uncontrollably almost for an entire day. We cry for a reason, you must need it. Don't hold back, let it all out Mandy

Mandy O
2d ·

Thank you Rorschach ... I never hold back crying I've always cried a lot at times... But there's something not right .. I want to cry but it keeps stopping suddenly and then I'm laughing out loud then I cry a little more then laugh again :/ :/

Mandy O
2d ·

It's all coming out now Rorschach ... It feels very relieving... Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, you are so kind and considerate.. I'm calming.. Tiredness also kicking in X

Rorschach T
2d ·

No worries Mandy. Hope you are ok

Amita K
2d · NEW

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Binky B
2d ·

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Binky B
2d ·

Big hugs Mandy... You will get through this, glad to hear you feel a bit better already. Let it all out. Sorry about your stupid neighbors!

Saumya G
2d ·

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Cindy M
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

A good cry is so great. And if you have Bipolar Disorder (I do), mixture of laughing is not unusual. Nothing is unusual with Bipolar Disorder!

Richard E
20h ·

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3 Mandy O
2d ·
I feel like I'm ***ing pissed off and hate everything and everyone ... Slight urges to self harm but able to tell myself it won't achieve anything and I will only be rid with shame and guilt
Ali H
2d ·

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Ali H
2d ·

BIG HUGS ( )

Mandy O
2d ·

which will then lead me to think negatively about myself and cause me to feel really low.... So I've put an elastic band on my wrist and going to pull it and let go really hard.. Same pain but no injuries to cause me to feel guilt/shame etc!!

D M
2d ·

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Mandy O
2d ·

This might sound silly but for me when I self harm (burn my wrist with a very hot blade) i automatically pull away once the pain is too uncomfortable and I do it again and again because I'm not able to get to a point where the pain is uncomfortable

Rorschach T
2d ·

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Ali H
2d ·

It's easy for me to say but try not too

Richard E
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

Sorry to hear this Mandy. Cut yourself some slack though, you are really trying and it's not your fault you feel this way. Take care of yourself

Mandy O
2d ·

With the elastic band when I pull it as far as I can and let go I can't stop the pain once I've let go and I'm not in control of it so I tend to stop self harming much sooner as it feels uncomfortable

Mandy O
2d ·

I've realised I self harm in that way because I enjoy the pain I'm inflicting on myself... (Because my body automatically reacts by pulling away) before it doesn't feel good anymore ... Finding it hard to explain what I mean :(

Squid C
2d ·

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Binky B
2d ·

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Saumya G
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

I think I understand you Mandy. I used to hurt myself as a form of punishment and just desperation 'why won't they help me' sort of thing. Maybe my reasons are different but I get where you are coming from

stephen B
1d ·

Like Rorschach T I understand and again my reasons may be different , for me I self harmed not to punish myself but to calm my head even for a brief moment , my head was 200mph hurtful intrusive thoughts the only time they stopped was when I SH'd and

stephen B
1d ·

those few seconds were like heaven ... but it was short lived and i soon realised there had to be a better way .... sending you big hugs x x x

Linn J
1d · NEW

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Cindy M
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

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Manda P
1d ·

I think the rubber band is a fantastic idea. I've never self-harmed (if you don't count self destructive behaviors) & think the temporary pain of a rubber band flick is so much better than a cut or burn. It shows great strength on how you are...

Manda P
1d ·

...controlling the situation. Well done. Be proud of yourself!

D M
1d ·

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6 Mandy O
2d ·
Done some speed walking whilst listening to Eminem and ate subway then brought me and my daughter some chocolate from hotel chocolat :) tension gone
Julia C
2d ·

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Ali H
2d ·

Mmm chocolate

Jeff M
2d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

I love Eminem! Might have to crank some up once BF & daughter have to go back to school. BF thinks I only listen to it when I'm angry. Not true!

Squid C
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

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5 Mandy O
2d ·
Feeling a little tension building inside... Feel like I want to go out to a rave/club this weekend and get absolutely wasted.. I've suddenly got a 'don't care' attitude - need to get out of this mood
Julia C
2d ·

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Mandy O
2d ·

before it turns in to a self destructive episode as it almost feels like a volcanos just starting to brew inside of me :/

Yondie Y
2d ·

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Rorschach T
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

Maybe you can find some less-destructive way to take out those feelings? Sometimes you have to do something big!

Manda P
2d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

Yes, listen to Jeff. Redirect that energy to something else. Are you creative? Paint, draw, write, craft...make something awesome. Sometimes the best work comes from negative feelings. Thinking of you. xx

Squid C
2d ·

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5 Mandy O
2d ·
Must have fell asleep as I didn't end up going to the cafe and it's now 6 hours later. Really need to get a move on but motivation isn't great. Woke with stomach cramps and PMS!! (Time of the month)
Binky B
2d ·

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Jeff M
2d ·

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Richard E
2d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

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Ali H
2d ·

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Yondie Y
2d ·

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5 Mandy O
3d ·
7.15am and I've been lay in bed all night and not slept .. I'm starting to feel tired now but I'm going to get up and have a little walk to the cafe for breakfast then set my alarm for 4 hours time
Mandy O
3d ·

as I'm going to see my little girl today and don't want to sleep all day, especially if the weathers going to be nice outside again today aswell

Kay W
3d · NEW

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Rorschach T
2d ·

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Mia A
2d · NEW

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Mia A
2d · NEW

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Amita K
2d · NEW

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Tasha S
2d ·

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Alena S
2d ·

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Binky B
2d ·

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Binky B
2d ·

Hope you have a lovely time with your little girl x

Jeff M
2d ·

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Mandy O
2d ·

Thank you guys x

Manda P
2d ·

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8 Mandy O
3d ·
No Reason Given
Yondie Y
3d ·

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Binky B
3d ·

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Cindy M
3d ·

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Squid C
3d ·

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Yondie Y
3d ·

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Manda P
2d ·

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