4.3 avg
  223 days
  2973 hugs
  51 followers
1 Mandy O
14h ·
that was the scariest ***al episode I've ever had- worse than the times I attempted to overdose - bcoz i had thoughts about how I could go ahead with it so it was instant n nobody would know
Mandy O
14h ·

My body reacted physically and emotionally to what I was thinking which must have been a protective thing - now I feel irritable n angry that I got too afraid to do it :(

Ali H
14h ·

*Hugs*

Rachel C
13h ·

*Hugs*

Rachel C
13h ·

I don't know what to say, but I hope you're safe. I'll be thinking of you.

K├Ąti E
13h · NEW

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Natalia W
13h ·

*Hugs*

barry S
13h · NEW

hope all is now okay with you i will be thinking off you xx

Tasha S
12h ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
12h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10h ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
5h ·

Happy you're still here

Ali H
4h ·

*Hugs*

Ali H
4h ·

Hope you are ok Mandy

Manda P
9m ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
8m ·

Thinking of you, Twinny. Stay with us. xx

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0 Mandy O
16h ·
Thinking of my daughter so I don't kill myself - it's making me cry n I think that's what I need because I haven't felt emotion or cried in weeks - im feeling angry now n getting urges to self harm
Esther B
4h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
8m ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
12h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10h ·

*Hugs*

Ali H
15h ·

*Hugs*

Ali H
15h ·

Poor you Mandy please don't do anything it's hard to say anything without knowing everything but try and be positive please try and talk to someone

Rachel C
13h ·

*Hugs*

Sean W
15h ·

*Hugs*

James H
15h · NEW

*Hugs*

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0 Mandy O
16h ·
Couldn't handle my hyomanic/manic (unsure what it was classed as because MH don't want to help unless I'm depressed n try to kill myself) so spent 2-3 days on a alcohol n drugs binge which helped
Mandy O
16h ·

Temporarily but obviously it only helps block things for a very short while and will then make things a million times more difficult - like now :( I haven't cried in weeks but feel i will any moment - i hope I can cry because it may save me from this

Mandy O
16h ·

unbearable pain that's making me feel so ***le and so ready to end my life :( I'm feeling scared of my own mind right now because past attempts I've told someone before I've tried to kill myself but right now I feel no need to tell anyone

Mandy O
15h ·

Meant to say couldn't handle my hypomanic/manic 'crash' - I don't even know if it was hypomanic or mania because I just felt normal n care free - but this crash n the trouble I got in clearly makes me look back n realise I wasn't right

Sean W
15h ·

*Hugs*

Rachel C
13h ·

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Tasha S
12h ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
10h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
8m ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5m ·

You were clearly manic & this was a crash. Now you know what it's like & can get a better handle on things next time. It'll still suck, but you'll understand it & hopefully won't become ***al again. Stay safe. <3 xx

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1 Mandy O
3d ·
Constant sirens and helicopter out circling where I live in Manchester - anxiety is really not good at all - I need to travel across the city centre later today on trains n buses - I feel petrified
Stephen C
2d ·

Oh poor you Mandy - I can imagine only too well what it must be like there now. Please take care. Big Pandy cuddles

Ali H
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

Good luck, Mandy. I'm sure you'll be fine. Imagine a bunch of us pandabears with you...there's comfort in going with pals!

Mandy O
2d ·

Thank you guys - and that's a great little thing for me to imagine Jeff - made me smile that did :)

Binky B
2d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
2d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
2d ·

Oh my. Must be scary

Esther B
2d ·

But let love rule!!

Manda P
2d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
2d ·

I would feel them same way, but you can do it!

Rachel C
1d ·

*Hugs*

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1 Mandy O
4d ·
Just suddenly crashed from a hypomanic episode or possible manic episode - 2 weeks since my last update so gives me an idea of how long it lasted - this crash feels unbearable
Annamaria B
4d · NEW

*Hugs*

Annamaria B
4d · NEW

I can imagine this is hurting you and I hope it gets better. Take it one day at a time because you will manage one way or another.

Binky B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Sean W
4d ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
4d ·

Glad to see you back, Mandy. Was wondering where you'd got to. You must be feeling in the pits right now, is there anyone you can talk to, and/or any meds to take the edge off? Big hugs x

Rachel C
4d ·

*Hugs*

paul M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
4d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

I'm so sorry, Twinny. I know how hard those crashes can be. It's rough. But you'll make it through. I pinkie promise. xx

Mandy O
3d ·

I went to community mental health for some advice n see where I'm up to with the services they never help they just tell the lady on the desk I'm on a list x

Mandy O
3d ·

Thanks everyone - I have had some great days and had fun most of the past 2 weeks but I somehow forget to even log in to here to update - x

Manda P
2d ·

I'm sorry about the list. They seem to have those everywhere besides America. You didn't post because you weren't feeling well. It's ok. xx

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1 Mandy O
11 May 2017 ·
Day to day life and tasks are feeling impossible to deal with right now - I just want to rest n sleep for a week but I have courses and appts to keep to n get taken to - feeling a lot of pressure :(
Binky B
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Claire M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Claire M
11 May 2017 ·

Try to take one task at a time. Worrying about it all or trying to do too many things at the same time won't get you anywhere, so no point in that. All you can do is relax, breathe and put your focus on the FIRST thing, leave the rest for later.

Rorschach T
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Doodles B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Patrick A
12 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Natalia W
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Mandy O
10 May 2017 ·
Been asleep all day and missed a very sunny day - couldn't sleep last night - can't get my little girl off my mind - just want her home with me - I can't stay stable long due to the stress of it :(
Patrick A
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Natalia W
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Claire M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Rorschach T
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 May 2017 ·

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Cindy M
11 May 2017 ·

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Rachel C
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Mandy O
09 May 2017 ·
Spent time with my little girl - it was the best in a while - my heart was fluttering the whole time I was with her - I managed to not think about the past or future, just on the very moment with her
Joy M
11 May 2017 · NEW

*Hugs*

Binky B
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
11 May 2017 ·

Aww that's so sweet x

Claire M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Claire M
11 May 2017 ·

<3

Tasha S
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Rorschach T
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
11 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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3 Mandy O
09 May 2017 ·
4.30am - insomnia and anxiety causing me to have Bruxism (teeth grinding and clenching of the jaw) it's that bad I keep accidently biting my tongue and stiffness in my jaw and neck - feel exhausted
Luna G
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Luna G
09 May 2017 ·

Sounds crappy, really sorry about that Mandy O. I've just taken a bunch of adderall to study for a test so no sleep here either!

Elizabeth M
09 May 2017 · NEW

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Anonmous A
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
09 May 2017 ·

Hmm I have the same problem. Have you been to the dentist?

Rorschach T
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 May 2017 ·

Anxiety causes me to grind or clench my jaw too...I can always notice it when my neck and shoulders hurt... :(

Cindy M
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 May 2017 ·

It does the same for me which is why I was originally prescribed Klonopin.

Love 1
10 May 2017 ·

My X had this. Her dentist suggested a mouth guard, which she wore nightly.

Mandy O
11 May 2017 ·

Thanks guys; for the advice and sharing your experiences.. I know I should but I rarely visit my dentist - I'm not afraid I just don't do things I should :/ the last visit I got asked if I was under any stress.. I said no (lie) and wondered why

Mandy O
11 May 2017 ·

She was asking - now I realise it must because there were signs of teeth grinding. I've only noticed I do this recently especially after I got took off cetalopram meds because my jaw went that stiff lol since then I'm aware when Im clenching my jaw

Mandy O
11 May 2017 ·

I will ask about a mouth guard Love1 :) as one of my back teeth has been breaking away slowly but surely! X

Esther B
11 May 2017 ·

I have a mouthgard as well. It helps me from grinding but not always for clenching my teeth..

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4 Mandy O
09 May 2017 ·
So many empty packets of Zopiclone :/ need 1 to sleep and I'm looking all over the house in hope I can come across some - house is a mess still - it was spotless a week ago - I sure was a tornado! Lol
Mandy O
09 May 2017 ·

Also just realised I've blew 800 pounds last week that I had in the bank and owe money out when I get paid tomorrow - wow it's like I was out of control :/

Elizabeth M
09 May 2017 · NEW

sounds tough, big hugs!! I hope everything will be in order soon :)

Elizabeth M
09 May 2017 · NEW

*Hugs*

Mandy O
09 May 2017 ·

Thank you Elizabeth M :)

Luna G
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Anonmous A
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Rorschach T
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 May 2017 ·

I know all these feelings. It can feel like a big mess. You'll get it straightened out though, Twinny. I know you will. xx

Mandy O
11 May 2017 ·

Thanks everyone and tomorrow I'm going to start straightening everything up manda - the more I put it off n try to ignore it the more It's bothering me - so much to do which is overwhelming but I'm going to do it a bit at a time! X

Manda P
11 May 2017 ·

Proud of you, Twinny! xx

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