6.1 avg
  202 days
  1381 hugs
  28 followers
5 Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·
So much has happened. My husband has woke up. Our tire blew now he can't get to work and I am thankful because his job was dangerous!! He was so stressed and so was I... we will make it somehow.
Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·

Accepting this, he has softened tremendously and I reminded him why I fell in love with him. Not because he had a job (he didn't) or was responsible (he wasn't then) but because he is spiritual and intelligent, creative and determined. I know we need

Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·

money for us and our son and to move back out of my crazy moms house (she has had another severe panic attack resulting in hospitalization tonight but let her loose because it was not a heart attack after all, also due to stress of her mom dying and

Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·

an alcohol problem in combination with a histamine disorder and multiple personalities) but I know what to do now. My husband has shouldered the responsibility of our family by himself for too long. We will apply for subsidized child-care for low

Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·

income families so we can BOTH work full-time and get our own place again, pack money into savings and follow our creative endeavors (my writing, his indie game designing) and open up to our inner truths and selves again. Nothing is worth losing your

Courtney O
23 May 2017 ·

soul. I am glad my husband remembers he has one and it is once again a new chapter in our lives that we have no other option but to follow.

Isabel E
23 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
23 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
23 May 2017 ·

How beautiful it is to hear your perspective. Wishing you light and love x

Manda P
23 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
23 May 2017 ·

So, so wonderful! That was beautifully put. Wishing your family happiness & success!

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0 Courtney O
22 May 2017 ·
My husband is probably going to die at his job because of homeless with gangrene taking bath salts and ***
Binky B
22 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Metron A
22 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 May 2017 ·

*big hugs*

Richard E
22 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·
My husband is SO insecure. The other day I met a new cousin who is a bit crazy but really interesting and ever since my husband has given me the most amazing sex and bought me flowers for Mothers Day.
Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

Yet he keeps dissing my cousin, doesn't like me talking to him and is now acting pissy and I just can't fathom why. It's really obnoxious. He even asked if I was obsessed with my cousin now because we've been chatting online the passed few days.

Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

And he just left and slammed the door. WTH?????

Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

It's so weird and I'm just done with his jealousy, you know?

Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

What do they think is going to happen?

Binky B
16 May 2017 ·

Very strange! Yeah I think it's very rare nowadays for people to get with their cousins. I guess his insecurity is so strong, it wouldn't have much logic to it!

Richard E
16 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Courtney O
13 May 2017 ·
Sometimes I hate my husband. He knocks everything I like, even the English language and spelling. Says it's just not important and I'm an aspiring author, doesn't read any of it. Disses the people I
Courtney O
13 May 2017 ·

like. Yesterday we had 'so much money' now he says we don't have enough for a pack of cigarettes and expects to get them in 5 days. WTF So tired of his bad communication, insecurity issues and belittling comments.

Manda P
13 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
13 May 2017 ·

Sounds kinda like my BF. Things have gotten a bit better than they used to, but it's still bad. I mostly just accept it & act like it's normal. I find my happiness elsewhere. Hope things improve for you soon. <3

Binky B
13 May 2017 ·

Hi Courtney. So good to see you back on here. Sorry I don't have any advice about your husband at the moment. x

Marie S
13 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

luna S
13 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Ali H
13 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
13 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

I try to find happiness elsewhere but he doesn't like it when I do. Thanks Manda and Binky c.c

Manda P
16 May 2017 ·

Mine TELLS me where to find my happiness. I'm not cool with that.

Courtney O
22 May 2017 ·

Yeah mine does too. He'll be like 'You're fine, it'll be better when you - or when we-' and I'm like, you really don't get it, do you?

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0 Courtney O
06 May 2017 ·
Hate my mom
Binky B
06 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
06 May 2017 ·

What did she do? Hope you are okay x

Manda P
06 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
06 May 2017 ·

Sorry to read this, Courtney. Are you ok? xx

Richard E
06 May 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
13 May 2017 ·

I'm not okay.

Manda P
13 May 2017 ·

What's wrong? *big hugs*

Courtney O
16 May 2017 ·

*hugs back Manda* <3

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5 Courtney O
29 Apr 2017 ·
Gonna try to get on a mood stabilizer in addition to my zoloft
Metron A
29 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Apr 2017 ·

Hope you see positive results!

Richard E
29 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
30 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Courtney O
25 Apr 2017 ·
Sick of Mr. 'Always' Right
Manda P
25 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
25 Apr 2017 ·

I've got one of those too. =( xx

Richard E
25 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
25 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
26 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
26 Apr 2017 ·

:'(

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0 Courtney O
18 Apr 2017 ·
I wish I didn't exist
Steph B
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Doodles B
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Patty D
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Ali H
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
18 Apr 2017 ·

No!!! I need you to exist! <3 xx

Richard E
18 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Patty D
19 Apr 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
26 Apr 2017 ·

Thanks Manda. :) Sorry I haven't been around. I think the whole sky is falling down this April.

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4 Courtney O
16 Mar 2017 ·
so super sick
Alena S
16 Mar 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
16 Mar 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
16 Mar 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
16 Mar 2017 ·

Missed you, Courtney! Hope you get well soon. <3

Binky B
16 Mar 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
16 Mar 2017 ·

Hey Courtney x

Courtney O
17 Mar 2017 ·

Thanks Manda. :D I missed you too. I've been so busy. Staying in bed today. Thankfully my son is with his aunt and grandma. :)

Courtney O
17 Mar 2017 ·

Holler Binky ;)

Binky B
31 Mar 2017 ·

Hey, hope everything's good with you and your little one :-)

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8 Courtney O
11 Feb 2017 ·
No Reason Given
Manda P
11 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
11 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
12 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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8 Courtney O
04 Feb 2017 ·
'A' thing can be anything. <- trying to explain to my 2 month old son what 'A' means, because it is a letter but also a word.
Binky B
04 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
04 Feb 2017 ·

English is full of things like that... The, a, is, be, if... I think they're quite hard to explain, especially to a 2 month old baby lol. I'm sure he enjoys the sound of it but most of all his mama's voice and attention :-)

Manda P
04 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
04 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
08 Feb 2017 ·

Lol Binky :D You're probably right.

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7 Courtney O
22 Jan 2017 ·
Writing
Han M
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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9 Courtney O
21 Jan 2017 ·
A week on zoloft, doing much better
Marie S
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Shelley H
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

So glad to see so much green!

Courtney O
22 Jan 2017 ·

Yeah I should have gotten back on zoloft a long time ago :D

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

I'm so glad you finally did. What a turn around you've done!!

Binky B
22 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
25 Jan 2017 ·

It helps so much, even on 50 mg. I'm lucky cause it gives me no side effects. Everyone in my neighborhood noticed a difference. I have two female friends now too. :D

Courtney O
25 Jan 2017 ·

I'm happy this dip didn't last a long time. Usually I'd wait years before getting help O.O

Manda P
25 Jan 2017 ·

I'm proud of you for taking the step! That's the hardest part. And glad you've made friends too. They are so important, especially in times of stress.

Courtney O
01 Feb 2017 ·

Yes, I think I need more friends though. People are so busy with their lives and I am too, but at this point in life, I wish I could have a friend every day. lol

Manda P
02 Feb 2017 ·

I understand that. I have ZERO friends & I know that's unhealthy, but it feels safe to me.

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

It is safe. I think finding friends is hard. One has to assess what type of person they are, and if they are untrustworthy in certain ways, then, well, some may call that a deal-breaker. But then we have no friends. Everyone is messed in some way. I

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

mean who am I to throw stones in my glass house, you know? But if a potential friend isn't good with money or keeping their promises, then don't give them money or ask them to keep any promises. If a person is loud and just talks about everything all

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

the time, probably don't tell them anything too deeply personal, like the kind of thing you don't want getting out. I mean, everyone has their misgivings. We control what situations we put ourselves in and who we trust in particular ways. It doesn't

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

make anyone a bad person for having faults. I think the key to making new friends as an adult is walking a balance between caution and hospitality, so they always know you are in control of the way things work around you. That's what I try to do. My

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

friends definitely weren't hand-picked, but they'll do for now. :)

Manda P
03 Feb 2017 ·

You're right about all of that, but my only problem is I have no way to make friends. We live out in the woods with distant neighbors & daughters not involved much in school. The local library has book clubs & adult coloring which I've...

Manda P
03 Feb 2017 ·

...considered, but I'd be SO nervous!

Courtney O
03 Feb 2017 ·

Oh you should do it. Coloring sounds relaxing. I've thought of joining a book club too, or a writers group. It seems nervous at first but I bet you, as soon as you get there, they will be very welcoming.

Manda P
03 Feb 2017 ·

I might just join a coloring group or book club. It'll take A LOT of guts, but maybe I can do it.

Richard E
03 Feb 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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9 Courtney O
21 Jan 2017 ·
Zoloft kicking in
Sasha M
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jan 2017 ·

Woo-hoo!

Binky B
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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8 Courtney O
21 Jan 2017 ·
Damn ok I'm drunk and I'm high but my connection with this girl, excuse me, 24-yr-old woman, is real. Swear. Could it be real? I hope.
Max L
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Dante P
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Sasha M
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jan 2017 ·

I wish I was drunk & high!

Binky B
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
21 Jan 2017 ·

Lol yeah we didn't expect it but she offered me and my husband to smoke :p

Richard E
21 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

I don't like to smoke with anyone other than BF because I get too paranoid. At that last party I went to though, I had so many margaritas & Klonopin that I went out with 'the guys' & smoked right before we left. I must've been wasted! No way to get..

Manda P
22 Jan 2017 ·

...it where I live. =( Best medicine around too.

Courtney O
25 Jan 2017 ·

Yeah I get so in my head, then I don't know if what I'm thinking is out loud or not! So I usually try not to socialize if I'm high, at least until I know the person I'm talking to is open-minded.

Courtney O
25 Jan 2017 ·

Yeah for sure. That sounds like a fun night, haha. ^_^

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9 Courtney O
17 Jan 2017 ·
Oh my god my neighbor is so cool. She's a mom too but she likes horror stories and I'm writing one. And we got in a spiritual discussion which left more questions. lol Feeling good.
Courtney O
17 Jan 2017 ·

Maybe a lasting friend this time?

Binky B
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Karen V
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

A V
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Jan 2017 ·

*fingers crossed* for you, Courtney. You need a good friend now more than ever with everything going on!

Richard E
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
18 Jan 2017 ·

Thanks ^.^

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8 Courtney O
16 Jan 2017 ·
Feeling much better after Malachi spent the weekend with his Nan. Being the best parent I can be.
Love 1
16 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cheyenne M
16 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
16 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
16 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
16 Jan 2017 ·

You are the best, Courtney!

Cindy M
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Courtney O
17 Jan 2017 ·

Oh Manda <3 I wish we could meet in person. We'd be besties lol

A V
17 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
17 Jan 2017 ·

I wish we could too, Courtney! I could use a real life best friend! <3

Courtney O
25 Jan 2017 ·

Maybe you can add me on fb. If you email me, I'll send you my name so you can look me up. My email is lovesub77@gmail.com

Manda P
25 Jan 2017 ·

Thanks, Courtney! I'll email you next time I'm at my desk. I hate using my phone for email for some reason. I've been binging on TV since my surgery & have only been at my desk once. It hurts to sit like that. But I'll be in touch!

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3 Courtney O
14 Jan 2017 ·
God started such a good morning. Took a shower with M which he loved. His 1st shower. But since 11am he's been nonstop fussing and crying!!!! WHY???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Karen V
14 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
14 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
14 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
15 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Courtney O
11 Jan 2017 ·
So the ER made me a bunk appt w a psychiatrist. Thankfully M's Aunt took him today and my husband was on the phone for an hour tracking down my records and old psych. He got me an apt for the 23rd.
Binky B
11 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
11 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Reba H
12 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Jan 2017 ·

Hang on, Courtney. It'll get better soon. <3

Courtney O
13 Jan 2017 ·

Thanks. Out of nowhere, my Mom said she had zoloft she doesn't need anymore. I went over and took the first dose today. 50mg but if it doesn't work by next week. I'll double the dose because technically they are 100mgs so I'm cutting them in half.

Courtney O
13 Jan 2017 ·

The it's way more likely the psychiatrist will prescribe me zoloft since I'll already have been on it. :)

Courtney O
13 Jan 2017 ·

*Then

Manda P
13 Jan 2017 ·

That's great! Hope it starts kicking in soon!

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7 Courtney O
08 Jan 2017 ·
Nostalgia
Sandra C
08 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Richard E
08 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
08 Jan 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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