You've got this. Give it to God. May you feel the Holy Spirit giving you strength.
Change your environment. I recommend a dairy farm where they milk cows. A long way away from the beach or city and don't go near a pub/bar/tavern/nigh club/drive through bottleo.
Also learn to ride a horse. Farm animals will do you more good than many things. Find quiet places and look at the trees in the sky as you lie on the grass.
To be clean for nearly 2 years is amazing - what hard work and discipline! Hope there is someone you can reach out to at this vulnerable time for extra support - or an organization? If you recognize your vulnerability that is a first step.
You must be a pretty fantastic, strong person - much stronger than maybe you realise. You're in my thoughts, big hugs. xx
You need space and time.
Remind yourself that you are a beautiful and intelligent woman