Well done Tazzy - really brave of you. It can be so hard to open up even when we think it might help. Great chart!
Where's my net... wait, I should just sit and meditate.
On the upside, it's good you've recognized the habitual pattern of mind. The you that recognized it is the deeper self you can get in touch with, behind that is another more subtler level of mind.
I wish I could help. I guess my advice is ride it out. Things get better..