In a weird way I've never felt before. I am okay not living that life, ok living this life. I feel content. No money, study debt like crazy, soon no apartment but loving boyfriend and happiness. What more can one wish for really?
Sounds like you're coming to a place of acceptance and are grateful for what you have, not from what's missing.
And it's like is this depressive period or manic? I just feel manicly anxious and annoyed and sad and lost. What is that even
Sometimes manic episode goes with high anxiety and it doesn't bring any pleasure anymore. Sometimes there are mixed episodes... I hope it'll get better for you soon, Rimo. *hugs*
Probably wanting to feel more secure emotionally when situations get scary. It's doable. The awareness is there. Those are your growing edges. We all have them. :)
How much anxiety you have had when it is disappearing. Like mania you don't really notice it until it fades. At least that is how I feel...
Rimo, I know it too, and it's an amazing feeling, even if you still feel 'greyish'. I hope this calm feeling lasts!
Have you heard of the 'relax' app with Andrew Johnson? I use it and it's amazing! I fall asleep sometimes, there is a free version if you want to try it.