Have you been to see your GP? They have diagnostic tools to help determine whether you have depression and can talk to you about support (not just medication, tho that may be something that would help - it's not an answer in itself). Going to see my
was the best decision I made, hard as it was to reach out. If you haven't been already, hope you'll consider it. In any case, welcome to MP, and hope you find it helpful. It's a very understanding, non judgemental community.