3.8 avg
  84 days
  416 hugs
  8 followers
0 Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·
No Reason Given
Richard E
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Liz K
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Stephen C
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Noel L
12 Aug 2017 ·

Sorry to see your low score Patty. Hope you feel better soon.

Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·

Tonight the world ceased existing. Anything I trusted and anything that kept me safe. There's no one. I don't think I can return from that, ever

Liz K
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Noel L
12 Aug 2017 ·

Sorry Patty. Sounds pretty bad. Can you reach out to someone in your family or friends to share how you feel?

Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·

There's no one.

Ali H
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
13 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Noel L
13 Aug 2017 ·

Pandas. You can reach out to pandas.

Patty D
13 Aug 2017 ·

Thank you Pandas.

Patty D
13 Aug 2017 ·

I've just learnt that people only want to talk to me when I'm happy and funny and entertaining. I have to be a performing monkey to earn love. It hurts like a *** to be ignored by people I thought to be my friends when I'm not well, when I need

Patty D
13 Aug 2017 ·

someone else for a change. I've fought so much for others, given so much, but now that I need someone - nothing. The few friends I still have that stick with me I don't want to burden too much because I don't want to lose them as well. I'm so lonely

Patty D
13 Aug 2017 ·

I could scream. And I still have to hide it because I don't want to be signed off work again. I need work to stay sane. It's my days off that are horrible and lonely. It makes me drink so I don't have to feel it. I feel so ***ing worthless. I'm so

Patty D
13 Aug 2017 ·

angry at those who only used me when I was useful and entertaining. It just means I have no merit as a person of my own.

Noel L
13 Aug 2017 ·

Thank you for sharing Patty. You have been real and honest. To me you have merit as a real person when you say what you really feel. You have been heard. Be well today.

Patty D
14 Aug 2017 ·

That means a lot, thank you Noel!

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

I hear what you say & I understand how you feel because I have felt it too especially when working is better that socialising because you're ignored - that's happened so much in my life & it's so unfair but......

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

Your're worth so much more than you think or realise because the illness is a double-edged sword as it either pulls you down & holds you there or when you're up it makes you think it's a conspiracy & you shouldn't be happy. You're a lovely person

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

A wonderful human-being that like so many (including myself) has been inflicted with a disability that can't been seen from the outside but only from the inside so society seems to disregard it as nothing but unaware just like physical disabilities

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

its just as debilitating & ruins peoples lives forever but nobody offers you their seat or make-way for a wheelchair etc? I'm not trying to make little of others with physical disabilities - far from it - I just trying to say that physically most

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

Panda's suffering can't be seen from outside so others (or some) just don't equate to what's happening to a Panda on the inside, alone, scared, lonely, classed a freak, a headcase or whatever it's deemed but just as much as vulnerable

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

as other disabilities but without the understanding & help that society brings to those with physical disabilities. Please forgive my rambling & it is not my intention to cause offence in anyway to others but just to voice the effects of those living

Stephen C
14 Aug 2017 ·

with mental illness but it's so hard to explain 'in sound-bites' of one sentence. Take care Patty we all understand. Big hugs xx

Patty D
14 Aug 2017 ·

Thank you so much, Stephen, it means a lot! Xx

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4 Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·
Had a nap to outsleep the low. Thank you Pandas! I'm such an emotional yoyo today. Other than work, I've been on my own. No calls. No texts. For days. Only had one when s.o. wanted sth. Other than FB
Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·

no communication. I used to think I had lots of friends. They all ditched me when I 'wasn't fun anymore'.

Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·

I don't want to go begging people to hang out - and I don't want to because it seems they don't give a *** anyway. But I feel so alone. So betrayed. Nothing ever comes back. I feel so empty, angry and disappointed.

Margot L
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Liz K
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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0 Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·
No Reason Given
Tamsin B
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Aug 2017 ·

Sorry to see you so low xx

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1 Patty D
12 Aug 2017 ·
Can't wait to leave. Sick of this ***ing falsehood and lip service. Sick of people ditching me and then acting like they're doing me a favour.
Manda P
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Cindy M
12 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Patty D
09 Aug 2017 ·
Couldn't bring myself to update for ages. Had good and bad days. Feel my life in Witney has collapsed. Have decided to move to Edinburgh next year to start fresh.
Lydia R
09 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
09 Aug 2017 ·

Great city choice! Going there on holiday next month.

Manda P
09 Aug 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
09 Aug 2017 ·

Good to hear from you, Patty!

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2 Patty D
29 Jul 2017 ·
Lonely AF right now.
Alejandro M
29 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
30 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
30 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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1 Patty D
24 Jul 2017 ·
I'm a piece of worthless vile ***. Im a waste of space. I shouldn't exist.
Kevin B
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Andy B
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
25 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jacqu P
26 Jul 2017 · NEW

*Hugs*

Manda P
26 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
26 Jul 2017 ·

Not true. I'm glad to have you around. xx

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8 Patty D
22 Jul 2017 ·
My permanent residence card came though. Mount Everest just fell off my shoulders.
Lydia R
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Mood P
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
24 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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2 Patty D
21 Jul 2017 ·
Insanely sad.
Keshia B
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Binky B
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Noel L
21 Jul 2017 ·

Sounds pretty bad Patty. Can you reach out to someone?

Ali H
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jul 2017 ·

Thinking of you, Patty. 💚

Patty D
21 Jul 2017 ·

Thank you all, Pandas! Xxx

Emma H
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Patty D
20 Jul 2017 ·
Had a good cry and sleep, feel a bit better now. Glad it's my day off.
Hannah S
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
21 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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0 Patty D
20 Jul 2017 ·
I want to be dead
Manda P
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Jul 2017 ·

Oh, Patty! No you don't! You are a cherished Panda. We need you here. Things will get better soon. I promise. 💚

Anne T
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Patty D
20 Jul 2017 ·

Thank you so much, Pandas. I was in a bad place but cried and slept and feel a bit better now. Xx

Alicia B
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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1 Patty D
19 Jul 2017 ·
Shouldn't have looked at those pictures. That person I confided in having fun with the person that destroyed me. I mean nothing. I am nothing. It wouldn't matter if I disappeared.
Michelle F
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
20 Jul 2017 ·

Sorry you feel so bad, Patty. I hope you feel better soon. 💚

Alicia B
20 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jane L
20 Jul 2017 · NEW

The person that destroyed you is the bad person. Sending hugs xx

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4 Patty D
19 Jul 2017 ·
Impromptu trip to Wales for a meeting. Mix-up with delayed trains, now I'm gonna be late even though I got up with the chickens. Anxious and sad today, but I need to hide it so they don't force me off
Patty D
19 Jul 2017 ·

work any longer. They don't understand that with BPD I will always have mood swings, but that doesn't mean I can't work. Still, sometimes I just want to cry and have someone tell me it will be ok and just let me flood it out.

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

As long as you let yourself flood it out, it's ok. It will get better, I promise. extra hugs

Jeff M
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Patty D
17 Jul 2017 ·
It's fun working, even if it is in a different branch. Can't wait to get back to work properly. But a new problem has raised its head. One of my workmates turned out to be a conniving, ***-stirring
Patty D
19 Jul 2017 ·

little ***. She appeared so sweet, but she's been undermining me at every opportunity. I really gotta watch my back now. I trusted her. Why do I always trust people. I've been warned about her and I gave her the benefit of doubt. Big mistake.

Patty D
19 Jul 2017 ·

Makes me really anxious. And it feels like because of her we can never have that awesome work relationship in the team we used to have.

Keshia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

Sounds just like my work! They are supposed to understand mental illness but don't xx

Anna 2
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

There's one in every bunch, isn't there? Probably an narcissist in the clinical sense of the word. Yuck. Don't give her the pleasure of seeing she got to you, and she'll loose interest.

Manda P
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Patty D
20 Jul 2017 ·

Alicia, looking up the traits of a narcissist - she fits that pretty well. I kept wondering why she is like this, and if she's after my job which I know she isn't. She just has that grandiose sense of self and entitlement, and any praise I give

Patty D
20 Jul 2017 ·

anyone else she takes as a criticism and insult to herself.

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7 Patty D
11 Jul 2017 ·
Occupational health appointment went well. Had a really nice Indian doctor who was well into meditation and mindfulness, and advised me a lot on BPD. Relieved.
Anna 2
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Anna 2
19 Jul 2017 ·

Sounds good!

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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5 Patty D
11 Jul 2017 ·
Waiting fo occupational health appointment. Nervous.
Sara P
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Sara P
11 Jul 2017 ·

I'm with you in my heart! Stay strong!!!

Love 1
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Noel L
11 Jul 2017 ·

Hope all is well for you Patty

Alicia B
11 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
12 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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1 Patty D
08 Jul 2017 ·
So ***ing sad. So ***ing sad.
Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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3 Patty D
08 Jul 2017 ·
Talk yesterday went surprisingly well. Still, feeling so incredibly sad today. Maybe it's a side effect of the hypnotherapy. Clambering for any distraction.
Lydia R
09 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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4 Patty D
07 Jul 2017 ·
About to have a very difficult conversation. Absolutely bricking it. Worried I'll get triggered and make it worse.
Lydia R
07 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
07 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Éva H
07 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Shin S
07 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Kara L
08 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
19 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

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6 Patty D
06 Jul 2017 ·
Hypnotherapy session today. Had to cancel last one because was too overwhelmed. Curious what's gonna happen today. Not feeling too bad at the moment.
Jeff M
06 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
06 Jul 2017 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
06 Jul 2017 ·

Glad to see a 6, Patty!

Patty D
06 Jul 2017 ·

Thank you Manda!

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