4.9 avg
  169 days
  1873 hugs
  59 followers
3 Lydia R
12h ·
I don't know if it's normal/a part of any mental illness (I'm still not sure I actually suffer from bc no one ever tells me what I really want to hear or if I'm just a selfish stupid prat), but I
Lydia R
12h ·

think I've just realised I'm having an identity crisis. It's not new, but in the past years I've clung to who I used to be and wanted this life back. Now I've realised that's not possible, but I also have no idea how to build a new life out of this

Lydia R
12h ·

empty shell that's been left behind.

Margot L
11h ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
10h ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6h ·

I know what you mean, I think a lot of people go through this at different stages in their lives. Maybe it's time to make some new dreams, and set new goals, and to finally meet the real you, who's probably been hiding behind all the conditioning!

Manda P
4h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4h ·

I'm trying to do exactly what Alicia said. I've found a great teacher on Insight Timer that talks a lot about accepting change, letting go, loving myself, etc. They make me cry, but I think that means I need to hear it.

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5 Lydia R
1d ·
4.5. *** time at work, irritated for the most part, but managed to calm down and met a friend later. Still mostly kind of feeling dejected, pointless and exhausted. Can't find the golden threat
Lydia R
12h ·

of all the nasty thoughts racing through my mind. Not making any progress on that front, just break down crying everytime I think about it.

Dan E
12h ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
11h ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
10h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4h ·

*Hugs*

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5 Lydia R
2d ·
Okay day. Uni, a few household chores, walking in the sun. I even felt productive and motivated for a while which was nice.
Dan E
12h ·

*Hugs*

Dan E
12h ·

walking in the sun sounds nice

JET °
11h ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
10h ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4h ·

*Hugs*

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4 Lydia R
3d ·
Dragged my sorry arse to uni and being there and walking in the sun actually helped a bit to calm down. But I can still feel the effect this morning had on me; completely drained and ready for bed.
Jeff M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Kristin a.k.a Lily K
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

Glad you got out. That was good for you. I took the trash bin down to the road & it made me feel better even though I was out there for 5 min. Gonna mow the lawn later. Hope I don't pass out.

Lydia R
3d ·

I hope so, too! Do you already know when your appt is? Initially I thought you're going today, but that might not be possible.. feeling a bit dumb today, sorry. Anyway, daylight is good no matter how hard it is to go outside.

Manda P
3d ·

No, have not set up the appt even though she asked me if I wanted to when I called about insurance. I gotta figure out who will be able to drive me up there first. Wish I didn't have such driving anxiety (especially just getting a new car & on...

Manda P
3d ·

...the Interstate or I'd just drive myself. Actually, I'd get over the Interstate just drive myself if I still had my old car. That's how serious I am about this!

Lydia R
3d ·

Ah, even more obstacles in the way... I see. Maybe your brother or a friend can help you out? I'd do it, but I'm also scared of driving a car and not even on the same continent. :D

DesBear D
3d ·

*Hugs*

Kaya L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
2d ·

Ha! Thanks for the offer, Lydia. 😜

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2 Lydia R
3d ·
I'm too passive to kill myself, but the loneliness is already doing a good enough job of it.
Ann W
3d · NEW

*Hugs*

Kristin a.k.a Lily K
3d ·

*Hugs*

Tamsin B
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
3d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
3d ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
2d ·

I'll swoop you up and make you my wife. But youll kick and scream and reject me. Then Id laugh and say, 'See, your situation is not really that bad. You have options.' Booyah! Skips away smiling.

Love 1
2d ·

You can file that post in the 'Dumb things insensitive morons say that dont help' drawer.

Manda P
1d ·

Love! I can't even put the hilarious emoji! Lydia, Love is something special if you weren't aware.

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3 Lydia R
3d ·
Woke up to a a feeling of complete pointlessness. First day of the new semester. Seems promising.
Kevin B
3d ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
3d ·

Didn't get some of the courses I wanted, because apparently just clicking one option leads to not being selected at all. ***ing system.

Ann W
3d · NEW

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
3d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
3d ·

*Hugs*

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5 Lydia R
4d ·
Woke up in the middle of the night again, got up late, not motivated to do anything, but the sun is out and I want to take a walk later. Should really do some household chores though.
JET °
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

A walk sounds lovely. I can't leave the house till I get used to my upped doses. 😔 Hope you enjoy your day! xx

Margot L
4d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
4d ·

*Hugs*

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5 Lydia R
5d ·
Took a while to calm down and become a somewhat rational being again, and the rest of the day I spent outside and then reading. Escapism modus still active.
Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
4d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
4d ·

*Hugs*

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3 Lydia R
5d ·
Isn't it fascinating how you can obsess about one thing/problem and make yourself nearly sick with worry, while the other person is completely oblivious to your struggles & thinks everything is fine?
Lydia R
5d ·

I know this 'problem' is only in my head, but the contrast in perception is still astounding. That's one problem with online friends, vital communication signs are missing and misinterpretation is almost inevitable. 3 only because just thinking about

Lydia R
5d ·

opening the messenger made me feel nauseous, dizzy, shaky, panicky & completely out of control. My old friend fear visiting just bc I wanted to read a message. It's pathetic & I don't know how to make this disappear again. For now, I need to breathe.

Lydia R
5d ·

I wonder if there's a way back to how things used to be or if I just keep ruining every friendship until Im completely alone. I know its on me to change something, if only I knew what. Maybe my whole being & thinking, my everything? Seems impossible.

Natalie C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
5d ·

*Hugs*

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4 Lydia R
5d ·
Horrible end to my night. Woke up at 5.30 am convinced someone was in my flat. Didn't dare getting up though and stayed in bed listening for any sounds in the darkness for over an hour. Paralysed,
Lydia R
5d ·

frightened, paranoid. It took me a long time to calm myself, but during the worst of it one thought crossed my mind continuously: I don't want to die. Such a contrast to the past weeks, fascinating. I managed to fall asleep again, but I'm still

Lydia R
5d ·

knackered, got up way too late and don't feel like doing anything. At least the dry cough seems to be getting better.

Lex M
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d ·

Oh, man. I would have been freaking out! Glad you were able to calm yourself down.

DesBear D
5d ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
5d ·

The death wish thought was bluffing. It runs away when the prospect of danger approaches. Happens to me, too. Im curious to know whats behind it.

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