4.9 avg
  203 days
  2260 hugs
  73 followers
5 Lydia R
1d ·
5.5 and finally back home. Slow start into the day, but mood improved at work. Just came back from yoga and now my whole body wants to rest. Still some things to prepare for tomorrow. Want sugar.
Lex M
1d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
1d ·

*Hugs*

John T
1d ·

Good for you to bounce back from last night. I would get Facebook messages that would do my head in and eventually I quit it and deleted it. Saved me a lot of stress but I'm probably more lonely. I have to find a balance.

John T
1d ·

*Hugs*

Kristin L
1d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
1d ·

It wasn't a bad message, it was rather the lack of content I'd hoped for after my last message and her 'more tomorrow'. So, the one to blame is myself and my expectations. I really have to learn to not be so selfish and start looking at things

Lydia R
1d ·

from other peoples perspectives. Not easy, but if I can reduce my own pain this way I'm willing to give it a try. Can't really tell you how to be less lonely w/o sm. Guess you can just go out and make friends irl.

Lydia R
1d ·

And I was tired. Everything is always 10 times worse when I'm tired. :/

John T
1d ·

Yeah, short messages are bad when what you hope for is a long detailed conversation. At least they send something! I still have a few friends from years ago before I moved away and came back. So I should get in touch with them more often...

John T
1d ·

...the past few months have been killer for me in terms of anxiety, and my motivation is always a problem, but they are both improving, so I'm just taking my time.

Love 1
1d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
1d ·

*Hugs*

DesBear D
23h ·

*Hugs*

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4 Lydia R
2d ·
Disappointed. And that's why you shouldn't check mails/messages/social media before going to bed. Or have any kind of expectations. Ever. Damn. Didn't want to let this ruin my day, but I'm too tired.
John T
2d ·

Aww.. :-( sleep it off. Tomorrow is a new day.

hilda V
2d · NEW

*Hugs*

Kristin L
2d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
2d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
2d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
1d ·

I've reasoned with myself last night and calmed down rather fast this time. I need to work on not getting disappointed by completely minor things. Thanks for the hugs!

John T
1d ·

Hey sounds like you're doing CBT without realising! Way to reinvent a tried and tested revolutionary depression treatment! :-D

Lydia R
1d ·

If that's the case, then I guess it's good. Still wish I had someone to teach me some methods though. I'm not sure if simply working through some workbooks is enough for me, I prefer someone to teach me.

John T
1d ·

Consider asking your doctor for a referral to a CBT therapist. It took me a few different people until I found someone who taught it well

John T
1d ·

and liked as a person. As soon as found them, I grasped it quite easily. Workbooks can't always answer specific questions or ones that relate to your exact problem.

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6 Lydia R
2d ·
Flabbergasted. Good day w/o anything to complain about (except that 24h are not enough). I've even been quite productive. Uni from 8.30-4pm, then some Christmas shopping, already prepared stuff for
Lydia R
2d ·

tomorrow and feel accomplished. Spent the whole uni day w/ fellow student and had mate tea which made me hyper hyper and a bit goofy. Had fun. Maybe I should give caffeine another chance. As well as human company. Ok, one thing to complain about.

Lydia R
2d ·

Miracle of the graceful human being that I am, I managed to almost fall down in my teeny tiny bathroom (which only allows vertical positions, so that's an achievement) and have a painful bump on my forearm now. Laughing about my elegance.

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

John T
2d ·

Goofy has goo in it because it is goo d.

Lydia R
2d ·

Which reminds me of a song called gooey that's also pretty damn good.

John T
2d ·

I can empathise with the fall, I badly strained my back ages ago and what happens? I stop doing the physiotherapist's exercises for 2 weeks and my back is giving me so much pain. Something I forgot about rating my mood today...

John T
2d ·

Who by? I wanna listen!

Lydia R
2d ·

https://youtu.be/IIA1XQnAv5s Love love love that band. Weird video, but I like it.

John T
2d ·

Cool! I liked that! I'll check out more of them :-) it reminded me of some songs, I'll just go get links...

John T
2d ·

The style of that song reminds me of: https://youtu.be/NuHusqCVSD0 , https://youtu.be/7neQMd_t2FY , and https://youtu.be/DfofxXzekCc but these area sadder and darker.

Lauren P
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Valeria P
2d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
2d ·

Thanks John! All songs are new for me and I'll listen to them again tomorrow. I think I'm close to falling asleep and should make use of that. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas!

John T
2d ·

Goodnight Lydia, hope you have a better sleep tonight

Lydia R
2d ·

Thanks John, hope you'll have a restful night as well! :)

Tasha S
2d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
2d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
2d ·

'Miracle of the graceful human being that I am' LOL, Lydia, well said! I can relate, too, I'm one of those graceful beings as well :) My legs look like those of a gymnast... but only in terms of the bruises. *sigh*

Lydia R
1d ·

:D I'm sorry for your legs, Alicia! I'm not that clumsy and can go for periods w/o any incident, but when something happens then usually everything at once.

Lydia R
1d ·

John, I really liked the songs! Are they all icelandic artists? Felt like sharing some more eery and atmospheric Glass Animals songs I love (great vids too!): https://youtu.be/h7UsQIx14CE and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTi5KEwHTxg

John T
1d ·

Yes they are all Icelandic... I'll check them out after I've finished recovering from a really embarrassing reply I did....πŸ˜‘πŸ˜πŸ˜ΆπŸ™πŸ˜³πŸ˜³

Lydia R
1d ·

lol I hope Love will reply soon and put you out of your misery! He's awesome and I'm 99,9% he won't see it the way you do. Want a funky song instead? https://youtu.be/yd9p4n5hLEg

John T
1d ·

Put me out of my misery? Haha! Usually that's not taken literally and means to kill someone. So I hope not! 😜

Lydia R
1d ·

lol oh well. Of course not! haha It's actually the same in German, but thinking is not really on top of my priority list today. :'D Sorry. Now I've made a fool of myself, too! Feeling better?

John T
1d ·

Aww I don't think you were a fool, Lydia. I'm sorry for teasing you. Yeah I'm ok after a minor panic. Thanks for asking. I really appreciate your conversation and general helpfulness this past week, don't feel bad thinking is overrated!

John T
1d ·

That last part of the sentence madeno sense, take out the words 'don't feel' and remember context of what I was replying to and it's ok.

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6 Lydia R
3d ·
Don't know why, but feeling rather good after a short night.
Kristin L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

A 6 for Lydia! Hooray!!! Hope you continue to feel good throughout your day. πŸ’š

JET Β°
3d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
3d ·

*Hugs*

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

Lauren P
2d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
2d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
1d ·

Thanks Manda, I actually did! It was really nice, and I needed that. Thanks for the hugs!

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5 Lydia R
3d ·
Mood's been rather good today, but I had a persistent headache all day (finally gone!) and accomplished nothing except for a positive feeling I still can't quite believe. Trying to hang on to it tho.
Lydia R
3d ·

Still a bit paranoid, easily triggered and prone to fall back into old habits, but I'm ready to fight it. I know it's still a long way to go, but I need the pain to stop at some point or I don't know how much longer I can take this.

Liz K
3d ·

*Hugs*

Natalie C
3d ·

*Hugs*

Kristin L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Kaya L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Emma Luna L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

I'll be your cheerleader! I was one in high school so I have experience. 😊

John T
2d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
1d ·

Really, Manda? That's great and yes, I could definitely need some cheering. I'd do the same for you, but, err, no one wants to see and hear that. lol Thanks for the hugs, Pandas! :)

Manda P
9h ·

Yes, really. It was a lot of fun. I'm horrified at the idea of being in front of so many people & doing something like that now though! I still want you as a cheerleader. πŸ’–

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4 Lydia R
4d ·
Okay night, but skipping uni today. Feeling guilty, but I think I need the time for myself today to deal with some personal things, especially after yesterday evening. Someone in the house is making
Lydia R
4d ·

a lot of noise and ruining my inner calm. Thought the renovation had ended but apparently not. Deep breaths..

Noel L
4d ·

Sorry to hear that Lydia. Losing sleep is awful

Lydia R
4d ·

Thanks Noel! My night wasn't that bad, but it could always be better. Hope you're having a nice day!

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
4d ·

*Hugs*

Emma Luna L
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
3d ·

Yep, keep up with those deep breaths. They, amazingly, do wonders! πŸ’š

Lydia R
1d ·

They do, yes, if only I could actually focus on doing things I can benefit from. Small steps. :) Thanks for the hugs!

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2 Lydia R
4d ·
Never been good with change. I'm so close to being completely on my own and all I manage to do is to isolate myself even more. What does it even matter anymore. Why bother. Everything ends.
Kristin L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
4d ·

cbt time. Can I get away with saying that or am i being an @$$ hole? You can call me out. I care about you enough to say that, L.

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

Emma Luna L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Toine S
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

Change is hard for me too, Lydia. It can be really scary.

Margot L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lauren P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

Thanks Love. And of course you're not an asshole. Why would you be? Do you mean cognitive behavioral therapy? I never had this kind of therapy so have no idea what to do. (I also found something VERY different while googling cbt, but don't think

Lydia R
4d ·

that's what you meant. lol) Yeah Manda, it is scary and often discouraging. Not all change is bad though, I just have a hard time picturing a future with the way I am now. Thanks for the hugs, Pandas!

Manda P
3d ·

I used to feel that way too. I felt so terrible & couldn't even imagine a future where I didn't feel that way. But with time, therapy, & meds, I can tell myself it won't last forever & I'll feel better again in the future. I hope you can reach this.πŸ’š

Love 1
3d ·

yes, cognitive behavioral therapy. Its analytical. We question our thoughts. Is it true? How do i know its true? I like Byron Katies 'The Work.' Similar. Where would I be without this thought? Is there another way of looking at this?

Love 1
3d ·

I also like internal family systems. Where we look at the part that is voicing a need w/ openness, compassion, curiosity.

Love 1
3d ·

So as i read over your text, im guessing theres a part thats feeling resigned. Why bother? Whats the point? There is some wisdom in thst. Bible says all is vanity. So, seems that part is seeking meaning, purpose maybe. But im also hearing resignation

Love 1
3d ·

Why try? So, i would be curious and want to investigate this part further. Since i dont know what youre thinking,feeling, or needing, I can only guess. its to give an idea of how this technique works.

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4 Lydia R
4d ·
Not a bad day, just disappointed in myself. Random feelings of guilt, irritation, and unease popping up. On an unrelated note: 200 days on MP. πŸŽ‰
Kristin L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
4d ·

*Hugs*

John T
4d ·

*Hugs*

Emma Luna L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰

Margot L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

Thanks Pandas! <3

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4 Lydia R
5d ·
Just went for a walk. Couldn't control my thoughts and felt like crying the whole time, but once I'm back home the tears just won't come. ***ing hormones. PMS not as bad this time but still to blame.
Kristin L
5d ·

*Hugs*

Γ‰va H
5d ·

*Hugs*

Toine S
5d ·

*Hugs*

Esther B
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Tasha S
5d ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
4d ·

Thanks for the hugs!

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5 Lydia R
6d ·
Ran some errands, feeling neutral but restless. Should have gone out earlier, the (still moderate) masses of people and all the new articles in one of my fav shops overwhelmed me. Back home all I can
Lydia R
6d ·

see are the tons of little things I have to do. How are you supposed to concentrate on the important things when there's a multitude of unimportant things crushing you? I know I'm procrastinating a certain thing, but I guess today I'll focus on the

Lydia R
6d ·

household chores so that I feel less stressed for tomorrow. Excuses, excuses, but whatever.

Rosie L
6d ·

Lydia bear πŸ’™ don't be too hard on yourself. We all procrastinate. I'm certainly putting off all the little important things I need to do too. It can wait xx

Toine S
5d ·

household chores are the worst, and they only get worse if you let them stack up. I speak for myself anyway haha... auuugh

Emma Luna L
5d ·

*Hugs*

Margot L
5d ·

*Hugs*

John T
5d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
5d ·

Thanks Rosie! I'm sure it can wait, but it still stresses me out. Toine, they are. I try to stick to a weekly cleaning routine, but yeah. it's more like a semi-regular routine. I do feel better when everything's clean and tidy, but oh the motivation!

Lydia R
5d ·

I finished cleaning my flat, doing the dishes, and preparing lunch. Just need to make dinner now. Feels good, but none of the important things got done. :') Thanks for the hugs y'all!

Alicia B
5d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
4d ·

I have the hardest time making myself start chores, but once I get going, it's great. Motivation is extra hard when you are suffering from depression.

Lydia R
4d ·

Motivation really is the key problem, but when you're procrastinating everything else gets done so easily, amazing. For me it's often hard to stay motivated throughout the task, but when I'm done I'm usually always very satisfied.

Manda P
3d ·

Too bad I can't just pop over there & then you over here. We could motivate each other!

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