Not a bad 4, just acknowledging my melancholia.
About what mistakes and regrets ?
we all make them. we're all doing the best we can.
Were your teeth ok?
I think so. I didn't see a dentist, because the pain stopped after I'd started using a decongestant spray. So it seemed to be nose-related. Now it could be an ear ventilation problem, and one way to deal with it is using a decongestant spray. :/
Those conversations are hard. I'm glad you feel it went well, don't dwell!
They are hard, especially when it's actually pointless stuff to get annoyed at. I'm just really lucky that she is extremely understanding and able to talk about difficult things calmly and rationally. I still doubt everyone but I try to believe her.
Thanks for the hugs dear Pandas!
her all to myself for some time, but I'm not sure if I want to tonight. I know I'm acting childish, but I'm bothered by how deeply affected I am by one person I barely know. It's not her fault, I know it's all the circumstances and my unresolved
issues, but I really need to find a way to make this friendship healthier for me, so I'm not tempted to act rash and end it just because I'm hurting once again. So, I guess I need to tackle the issues? Blimey.
Ikea? Rather you than me!
Well, I enjoy going to Ikea and it was really nice to talk with the girls. :) Sometimes there are too many people though... but I survived it and bought some (hopefully) useful stuff.
Did you have any lingonberry soda? That's my favorite part of IKEA.
Now that you mention it... No! We've spent so much time there and I completely forgot it. Damn it. lol
Thanks for the hugs Pandas!
And again, thanks for the hugs! <3
Write a long number down. Like '7142857142857142'. Then write 'this is how many times I'll let myself feel below average for something out of my control, but no more.'
Then put it away in a drawer and forget about it.
Extra facts: if you are familiar with the number 7 as a denominator of a fraction the number is extra fun!
Thanks John, this is really a long number, so a lot of time to feel sorry for myself, great. I'm absolutely *** when it comes to maths though. :) Thanks for the hugs Pandas!
but 1 word from 1 person managed to reduce me to tears after coming home. Don't know why insecurity is so dominating again, why I'm feeling so irrelevant. Can't bring myself to act normal. Just want to pity myself while feeling guilty for doing so.
Is your trip to Glasgow work or pleasure? Whichever I'm insanely jealous. One of my favourite cities in the world...
Hopefully pleasure, Nick. Just a vacation and we'll see how I like Glasgow. First time there. So far my heart still beats very strongly for Edinburgh. :) Thanks for the hugs!
Hope you enjoy Glasgow. It is very different to Edinburgh.
So I've heard, but I'm really curious and looking forward to the trip! Just need to finish a million term papers before. Yay.
Go to the chippy and get a deep fried mars bar and enjoy it on my behalf.
And drink some irn bru. Except I've got some in the fridge at the moment so enjoy for yourself.
I've wanted to try a deep fried mars bar the first time I went to Edinburgh, but never did it. Thanks for reminding me! And I'm sorry, but Irn Bru is absolutely not my cup of tea. lol Reminds me too much of energy drinks. My brother loved it though!
No problem Lydia. Is that why we are here for to give support to other people.
Despite being tired, having a headache and not having been as productive as hoped I think this thought is worth writing down to remind myself that not everything is always bad.
What a great thought and so true Lydia! important to notice the good days, or even just good moments when they happen! 😊
Thanks Pandas. :)
Not quite concentrated and motivated yet, but the sun is shining and I already had some basic bathroom-selfcare-time.
More than me... I smell like an old goat. I'll have a shower later, I don't like going more than a day without one. Hope Berlin weather stays nice!
Im hearing gratitude, self care, productivity but also time for yoga and the relief it brings.
Definitely, Love! Actually I wouldn't have the time, but I took it anyway and it may be selfish, but right now I don't care. Not really productive yet (or at least not the things I should have done). Thanks Tasha and John! Sun is still shining. :)
Thanks for the hugs!
Try to take it 1 day or even 1/2 day at the time. To look at the whole schedule most be overwhelming. Don't look to far ahead
Great advice, Lieteke. I find that figuring out what the next step or action that you can take on each thing is really helpful. Like instead of 'get a loan to save my house' (really scary) write 'call the bank to make an appointment'
(still scary, but way less stressful). One step at a time! You got this.
Good thinking Metron A. How are you by the way?
Good advice Lieteke and Metron! I'm less bothered by it all now, but I'm also already behind schedule. Need the weekend to catch up. Thanks for the hugs!
Sorry to hear you're finding things tough just now Lydia. But Pandas are here for you.
Thanks Nick. Just my laziness, demotivation and not being organised enough biting me in the arse and me not being able to handle it well.
Thanks Tasha and Des!
It sounds like you might need extra time to yourself, or yourself and cat.
Talk to Miezer :)
He's sleeping. In a cupboard on table cloths I'm not fitting into. :') But yes, a bit more time to myself and to rest would be nice. Still loads to do though and I can rest at the end of March. More quality cat time would have been great.
Thanks for all the hugs dear Pandas! ❤
I'm jealous of a hobby she likes to invest time in (which is completely normal and good), how low can I get... think there are other factors involved I haven't dealt with yet, but still. I'm a lowlife.
You're definitely not a lowlife, dear Lydia! Familiar with a lot of those feelings, if you can begin to query them in a kind way, you're on the right path. I know too how hard it is to be kind to one's self xx
Let your self-esteem hear this, too: you are amazing. You are smart, and interesting, and kind, and exciting, and you bring joy and support to pandas. Just so you know.
What Alicia says 😙
I get what you mean. I know it's hard to stop hating on yourself but you're a wonderful person and honestly it's their loss. Xx
Any insecurity and jealousy can get better. Not over night but it'll get better. Also you probably think you're doing more harm than you are, jealousy is totally normal
Full stop. (MoodPanda/GBoard cut me off their) I might be wrong, but even though this side of you upsets you, it'll change, because it's an issue to you and either you'll do something consciously or something without realising. Don't beat yourself up
Full stop, again.
I know, or at least I'm beginning to understand this, but as you said it'll take some time not to have it pop up randomly. Immediately afterwards I'm feeling guilty and unworthy of anyone's attention and affection.
Thanks John. :) Seems like I need to hear/read this a lot. I need reminders all the time. And yes, I want to change something, and I think I'm slowly going in the right direction, but it's a very long way.
*Pays Lydia R lots of attention and even weirds her out because of my unnerving glare* I'm quite happy to give you attention, seriously, you are worthy, and that too might take a long time to realise/learn/accept.
Thanks again! And I know that you're doing this. I also feel really insensitive when saying things like that, it's hard to break through the black and white thinking. But you're not weirding me out. lol
Well, yeah, I'm looking at my phone really. Luckily my phone isn't clever enough to get weirded out... maybe in a few years with AI advances... I know, it's like waves at a sea wall with somethings, but remember, the sea will always win eventually.
*some things. *There not their. *Not so terrible use of the word 'you' *many other compositional errors *etc.
I like that eventually the sea will always win. Would like to go to the sea now. Would like to take a holiday near the sea. Sometimes the internet should just take a break, too.
What's the German seaside like? I guess there's not much choice. Hamburg is close to the sea isn't it? I don't know if it's close enough to use as a base. Start a blog, 'Lydia photographs the German coast'.
Also I remember visiting a castle in North Wales which was by the sea when it was built, but is now 400? metres inland (maybe further). Harlech castle. Look it up, sometimes the sea retreats...
We have the North Sea and the Baltic Sea. Hamburg is close to the North Sea, but it's still a bit by car to get there. Last time I've been there was in August 2015. It was great, but since I've never been to a British seaside I can't really compare.
I used to visit the Baltic Sea a lot as a child, but haven't been there for over 10 years now, even though it's only 4 hours by train from Berlin. Should really take a trip there some time. I don't think my photos are worthy for a blog though. :D
Harlech castle looks great! man, now I want to go back to the UK, too. Thanks for making me want to travel.
North and Baltic Sea pretty much look the same, sand shores, endless sea and horizons, always a bit colder than in the rest of the country. Only difference between the two is the tides in the North Sea.
The is a lot of seaside in the British isles. Being made up of two main islands and hundreds of smaller ones too. It's generally too varied to be explained in a short message. It's different everywhere, except some bits are similar in some ways.
I've only been overseas twice and been to the coast in south west England, south west Wales, north west Wales, north east England, south east England, west Scotland, north east Northern Ireland. I feel quite lucky to have done all that.
I've been to the coast in Belgium and Portugal too.
Nearby to Harlech are Caernarfon castle and Conwy castle. They are cool in different ways.
I love the seaside, no matter where it is. I've always felt drawn to the sea ever since being a little child. It can be quite scary, but if I ever end up needing a break from society, I could imagine living in a little cottage by the sea.
Do it Lydia. But be prepared to never be happy living anywhere but near the sea afterwards. I grew up in land moved to an island when i was 39 and lived near the sea until i was 53. Now inland again and miss the sea so much.
Ah lucky you, Nick - that must have been amazing. It's still an unfulfilled dream of mine, and likely to remain unfulfilled as I'm already 50..
You're never too old. But it's not always easy finding places. We were lucky and island community with an empty house and a nearly empty school so they were actively looking for a family. We suited them and them us. Four years of pure heaven.
Take care! Comparison can be a real pain.
What are you reading? Anything good?
No, just catching up on Fanfics. :)
I want to re read a translation of an Italian book called 'You're an animal, Viscovitz!' I really stayed with me when I read it years ago. I lost my copy.
well, that sounds interesting. And I don't know it. Can't you find it on Amazon?
I haven't looked yet, I'm not that quick, give me a chance!
:D Sorry. Found it on the German Amazon!
Ok I've bought it now, it's coming tomorrow. I wonder if I'll like it as much this time around... Or whether it was just nostalgia...
That's what I'm trying to find out with a lot of my fav fanfics from a few years ago. I hope you'll still like it though! :)
I think I first read it in 2004. So if it resonanted with my 15/16 year old self, I'm not sure if it'll be any good at all!
It has 4,5 stars on Amazon, can't be soo bad!