.8 avg
  293 days
  1479 hugs
  29 followers
1 Max T
8h ·
Everything is so ***ing up and down. Earlier I was talking with Thys from Noisia about mental health and how it affects art. Now I'm drunk and a lone wishing my life didn't have to be this way.
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2 Max T
2d ·
I have been drunk every evening for a solid week. It helps with sleep, but that's not the reason why I've been doing it. It's because I feel alone. And when I'm drunk, I can forget about being alone.
Max T
2d ·

Moodpanda app destroyed all my replies to this. So I'll try to be concise--

Max T
2d ·

--being drunk aids my sleep cycle. But I want to be able to sleep sober.

Lydia R
2d ·

*Hugs*

Max T
2d ·

I recognise now that I cannot be alone. I need someone there with me when I need them. --

Max T
2d ·

I'm not bad enough to deserve a carer though. But still the need is there. And who I live with: my mother and sister, cannot provide that support.

Max T
2d ·

I used to receive this support from my ex. But sadly I left her because I thought it was the right thing for my overall mental health. I was wrong. She provided so much support that I was simply unaware of. And now I am left alone. Always alone. --

Max T
2d ·

And now I use alcohol to plug that void, as I have done in the past. I've backtracked, lost progress. But I am aware of it. So there's a positive, at least. But still, I need someone there with me 24/7. That is my reality. --

Max T
2d ·

I just have no opportunities to obtain that reality. I have no one in my life that is aware of my condition and can provide the help I need.

Max T
2d ·

I don't know what to do. And I am scare I will take my own life soon.

Jeff M
2d ·

*Hugs*

Jeff M
2d ·

I believe it's ok to self-medicate sometimes, when you need it. But when it's everyday, you're probably compounding one problem with another. Do you have a professional you can talk to and explore options to help?

Jeff M
2d ·

That being said, I'm sure I overdo the alcohol for many of the same reasons. Sending you strength...

John T
2d ·

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0 Max T
7d ·
Family have gone away without me. They told me yesterday. Before they left my mum cleared out the fridge so there's no food for me. Can't go to the shops as my car needs new tyres. *** my life.
Shelley H
7d ·

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S B
7d · NEW

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Lydia R
7d ·

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Robert H
7d ·

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Cindy M
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

It wasn't polite... When they come back, you could speak about it with them, maybe they just didn't realize what they had done.

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0 Max T
7d ·
I feel very alone
Lydia R
7d ·

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Cindy M
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

You aren't, we're here!

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0 Max T
7d ·
I think I'm more mental than I think I am
Janine S
7d ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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Cindy M
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

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S B
4d · NEW

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0 Max T
7d ·
I miss who I used to be.
Janine S
7d ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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Cindy M
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

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S B
4d · NEW

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4 Max T
7d ·
I'm all over the ***ing place. Saw Dad tonight for dinner, helped mood considerably. Need to see more of him.
Janine S
7d ·

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Lydia R
7d ·

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Cindy M
7d ·

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Anna D
7d ·

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0 Max T
11 Jul 2018 ·
Feel all over the place. Don't like it. Want everything to stop.
Keeping Track A
11 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
11 Jul 2018 ·

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S B
4d · NEW

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10 Max T
06 Jul 2018 ·
More than fifteen people here to celebrate my birthday. Feeling perfect.
V R
06 Jul 2018 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
06 Jul 2018 ·

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Jake G
07 Jul 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

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Jake G
07 Jul 2018 · CHIEFPANDA

Same birthday as me? :)

Cindy M
07 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
07 Jul 2018 ·

Happy birthday! Yay Max - woo 10!

Lydia R
07 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
07 Jul 2018 ·

Happy birthday!

Anna D
07 Jul 2018 ·

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Anna D
07 Jul 2018 ·

Happy birthday!!

S B
4d · NEW

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3 Max T
06 Jul 2018 ·
Feel strange. Hayfever has blocked my nose up. Not even tablets help.
Lydia R
06 Jul 2018 ·

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4 Max T
05 Jul 2018 ·
Managed a workout. About to pick up a friend I haven't seen in about two years from the station.
Lydia R
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Anna D
05 Jul 2018 ·

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0 Max T
05 Jul 2018 ·
My mornings are the worst part of my days currently. Waking up never having had enough sleep. It's so disheartening.
Love 1
05 Jul 2018 ·

Please consider a sleep study. You go to a clinic and sleep overnight. They wire you up to machines that measure vitals. I had one done. Turns out I had an upper respiratory condition that interfered with sleep. Condition is treatable. I sleep well

Love 1
05 Jul 2018 ·

and my moods have improved measurably.

Lydia R
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
05 Jul 2018 ·

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Anna D
05 Jul 2018 ·

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3 Max T
04 Jul 2018 ·
Forced myself to go outside and get some sunlight for an hour. Feel a lot better now.
V R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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0 Max T
04 Jul 2018 ·
I am in a BAD ***ing mood.
Alicia B
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Love 1
04 Jul 2018 ·

I can empathize. Stricken w/it myself this week. Hoping we both find relief.

Lauren P
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

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0 Max T
03 Jul 2018 ·
Know I'm not gonna be doing my stretching tonight and I know that's gonna make me feel worse. I don't want to do anything. I just want everything to stop.
Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

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0 Max T
03 Jul 2018 ·
Looking at the weather today and crying because it's only getting hotter this week and I really can't sleep at all with it being this hot. My sleep is already bad enough when will this ***ing end?
Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

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0 Max T
03 Jul 2018 ·
Can I just have a consistent mood for at least a day, please?
Dora M
03 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
04 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
04 Jul 2018 ·

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2 Max T
03 Jul 2018 ·
Had a great day yesterday, beat some personal records at the climbing wall, too. Then I didn't sleep till 4am so I was too tired to attend therapy in the morning. Why can't I sleep properly?
Keeping Track A
03 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
03 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
04 Jul 2018 ·

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4 Max T
02 Jul 2018 ·
Woke up feeling pretty awful. Didn't like my dreams last night Managed to push myself to get out of bed and I've now written a few scenes for my film that I'm pleased with. Climbing with friends later
Lydia R
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Janine S
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Lynn H
02 Jul 2018 · NEW

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John T
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Valeria P
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Cindy M
02 Jul 2018 ·

Sounds pretty good - well done you

Love 1
02 Jul 2018 ·

Guessing the writing and the climbing with friends will brighten the day.

Margot L
03 Jul 2018 ·

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4 Max T
01 Jul 2018 ·
Had a bit of an up-and-down day. Forced myself to go and see Hereditary with a friend, glad I did. Had a great time. Feeling positive for tomorrow.
christina E
02 Jul 2018 · NEW

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Cindy M
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Lydia R
02 Jul 2018 ·

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Alicia B
02 Jul 2018 ·

*Hugs*

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