Moodpanda app destroyed all my replies to this. So I'll try to be concise--
--being drunk aids my sleep cycle. But I want to be able to sleep sober.
I recognise now that I cannot be alone. I need someone there with me when I need them. --
I'm not bad enough to deserve a carer though. But still the need is there. And who I live with: my mother and sister, cannot provide that support.
I used to receive this support from my ex. But sadly I left her because I thought it was the right thing for my overall mental health. I was wrong. She provided so much support that I was simply unaware of. And now I am left alone. Always alone. --
And now I use alcohol to plug that void, as I have done in the past. I've backtracked, lost progress. But I am aware of it. So there's a positive, at least. But still, I need someone there with me 24/7. That is my reality. --
I just have no opportunities to obtain that reality. I have no one in my life that is aware of my condition and can provide the help I need.
I don't know what to do. And I am scare I will take my own life soon.
I believe it's ok to self-medicate sometimes, when you need it. But when it's everyday, you're probably compounding one problem with another. Do you have a professional you can talk to and explore options to help?
That being said, I'm sure I overdo the alcohol for many of the same reasons. Sending you strength...
It wasn't polite... When they come back, you could speak about it with them, maybe they just didn't realize what they had done.
You aren't, we're here!
Same birthday as me? :)
Happy birthday! Yay Max - woo 10!
Please consider a sleep study. You go to a clinic and sleep overnight. They wire you up to machines that measure vitals. I had one done. Turns out I had an upper respiratory condition that interfered with sleep. Condition is treatable. I sleep well
and my moods have improved measurably.
I can empathize. Stricken w/it myself this week. Hoping we both find relief.
Sounds pretty good - well done you
Guessing the writing and the climbing with friends will brighten the day.