4.9 avg
  89 days
  650 hugs
  15 followers
5 Anna 2
17h ·
Had really strange dream. There was my ex-husband and we were sorting our old stuff. There was this baby play mat -thing we had when #child2 was baby and I said that this can go to carbage, right?
Anna 2
17h ·

Je told me not to throw that away and I asked if they are going to have a baby (with his current girlfriend) and he told me they are trying. I totally lost it. I cried and yelled and punched him and threw stuff at him O_o ...then I woke up.

Anna 2
17h ·

Do I want a child with my BF? Am I angry for him having this 'new family' and think he doesn't deserve happiness? Do I fear that I won't be happy? Why on earth was it so bad that they're trying to have a baby? So weird and strange.

Anna 2
17h ·

I strongly believe in dreams. They tell us things that we are too afraid to deal with when we are awake or we just keep ignoring those things. This time I'm not getting it. What's the point? What do I fear?

Alicia B
14h ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
14h ·

I read somewhere that yelling at someone in a dream means you have unexpressed anger towards them. Maybe the reason from the dream is not the actual reason, just a scenario thing made up by your mind?

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5 Anna 2
1d ·
#tired #insecure #anxious #tired and did I mention that I'm #tired.
Lex M
1d ·

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5 Anna 2
2d ·
Slept well. I came home after midnight and fell asleep real quick. Got up 10 am ^__^ #BFchildren are here at #home2 and I'm struggling with it. They started the day by comparing their bellies...
Anna 2
2d ·

and bottoms and arma and 'i weight less than you' -kind of conversation and I JUST CAN'T STAND IT. I get so mad about that kind of talk. How can I believe and pass on this 'beauty is something more than you're skinny ass' -attitude, when our...

Anna 2
2d ·

twelve year olds are comparing their bellies first in the morning? This world is so ugly and artificial... and it feels more than I can take atm.

Anna 2
2d ·

To be clear... I'm not mad at children. I'm mad at the world. Children are just reflections of this sick, plastic world we live in and feela like there's nothing I can do about it. I have tried my best but it's not enough.

Kristin L
2d ·

*Hugs*

Love 1
2d ·

I can empathize with that need to protect our children, to contribute to their well being by inoculating them.from the shallowness and emptiness of this world.

Tasha S
2d ·

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8 Anna 2
2d ·
Went to theater with #friend1 and it was so amazing piece! All the music, lights, costumes... it was so beautiful it almost made me cry. Wish that real life would be as beautiful as fairytales.
Anna 2
2d ·

It was performed at outdoor-theatre and it started 9 pm, so when the night came... oh my. It rained (there was this huge white circus tent -shaped construction without walls) and it felt like we were part of the fairytale-world.

Tasha S
2d ·

*Hugs*

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1 Anna 2
3d ·
I can't take another #rejection anymore. Not a single one. Not ever again. I feel so sad, ugly, fat, disgusting... completely worthless piece of #*$% right now. Wanting to #hurt myself, wanting to...
Anna 2
3d ·

cut myself (he wouldn't notice the scars.. he won't be so close to my skin) Wanting to cut my legs and sides. Those parts of my body that are longing for the gentle touch. [I'm not going to do that, don't worry (!) ]

Stephen C
3d ·

Don't you dare hurt yourself - please! You're a really lovely person & I know because I have read your threads. It's not you it's your illness that makes you feel this way. You're a beautiful human remember remember remember

Stephen C
3d ·

Please keep out of harms way & don't do anything risky whilst you're low. The world would not be the same again if you hurt yourself. Big Pandy cuddles

Anna 2
3d ·

I have done it before. Back then I just hated my body, maybe as much as now, but for different reasons though. Back then I wanted to destroy my skin, so I wouldn't be so wanted. Now that is all I want to be. Loved and wanted. Desired. Touched.

Daria P
3d · NEW

*Hugs*

Anna 2
3d ·

Stephen, you made me cry <3 Wish I could see it that way. Wish I could stay strong. Now I can and I wont harm myself. But I'm not sure if I can stay this strong forever.

Stephen C
3d ·

I know how you feel - I have been there albeit in a different way as I paid another person to disfigure me. Please look after yourself - its not you its just your mind playing tricks

G Z
3d ·

*Hugs*

Stephen C
3d ·

Please don't damage your body - its the only one your ever have but at the moment your mind is acting like a drunk behind the wheel of a priceless car but a car can be replaced however you can't. Take care

Alicia B
3d ·

*Hugs*

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6 Anna 2
4d ·
Yesterday I bought myself this book 'Wreck this journal -in colours' and it's totally amazing how chewing paper or smudging dirt on the page could be so therapeutic. Absolutely loving that book!
Anna 2
4d ·

Althpugh I'm feeling little guilty of spending money on myself... considering that books are awfully expensive in my country... and I'm going to destroy this one completely!

Kristin L
4d ·

*Hugs*

Anna 2
4d ·

I adore books. Texture of the different papers, fonts, layout, thickness of covers, smell... I don't actually read that much, I just handle those books, feel them, look at them, arrange them in beautiful lines and piles... and now I have this

Anna 2
4d ·

particular piece which is meant to be wrecked in the most horrible ways you can imagine. Does so good to me and my perfectionism, my desire for order and control.

Lydia R
3d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
3d ·

I have it, too! But the first, b/w version. I love it too but never managed to wreck it. Bending the spine was horrible! 😱 lol I should continue working on it.

Anna 2
3d ·

Oh, how nice to hear that someone else has this too =) I have tried my best to think this as a process and in the end I might have something beautiful in my hands, that is born from ugliness and faults. Just like 4 min ago I smashed some rasberries..

Anna 2
3d ·

..on one page. We picked those berries with BF from this yard, behind the fence 15 min ago. And oh my, how beautiful that page looks <3

Cindy M
3d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
3d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
3d ·

Wow, it sounds so cool, I should find that book, too :)

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5 Anna 2
4d ·
Just waking up. This might become good day or not. I'm on the edge.... good, bad, happy, joyful, sad, anxious, lonely, loved etc. I'm there, on the thin line between positivity and breakdown.
Michelle F
4d ·

*Hugs*

Lex M
4d ·

*Hugs*

Stephen C
4d ·

Take care Anna - we all know what that's like. Big cuddles

Tasha S
4d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
4d ·

You are acknowledging your emotions and not suppressing them, that is the path to healing. Hugs, dear panda

Anna 2
4d ·

Thanks you all <3

Lydia R
3d ·

*Hugs*

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2 Anna 2
6d ·
#insomnia again. My head is buzzing. Dear brain of mine, could you please stop right now. There's nothing you can do about anything in the middle of the night. I need sleep.
Stephen C
6d ·

That's awful - I suffer so much with this. It's always worse when one awakes in middle of night & then in the dark all the worries gang-up & get worse usually that ole devil: Money worry. Big hugs

Lydia R
6d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6d ·

*Hugs*

Anna 2
5d ·

Stephen, exactly that! I visited home1 yesterday and there's going on this renovation (outside) and there's some urgent thing that has to be done and it costs me like a fortune (not really, but in my situation.. a fortune).

Anna 2
5d ·

...bills and payments are piling up again and 'cause I'm on vacation I can't do extra work to earn extra money... $(!(×¥&÷;

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7 Anna 2
6d ·
Saw #child2, oh how I have missed him <3 Next week we'll be together the whole week! Now waiting for #child1, we're gonna get some coffee and drive around the city (it's 'our thing').
Alicia B
6d ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
6d ·

*Hugs*

Kristin L
6d ·

*Hugs*

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5 Anna 2
7d ·
Feeling little #anxious. Should get up, put on clothes and get on my way. It's cold and gray. Whole world is like a big gray smoky cloud.
Conni D
7d ·

*Hugs*

Kii P
7d · NEW

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Lydia R
6d ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
6d ·

*Hugs*

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