Glad to see more green! :)
I made the mistake but I'm trying to forgive myself and make myself forget about it. Goes against all my natural instincts and feels very new doing so, but I must adapt...
I find that guilt is such a strong and nagging feeling. Did the other person take those words as badly as you might have imagined? Sometimes we can interpret our actions very differently to others.
Yet to be seen... Me interpreting everything as a disaster is common place and part of the problem.
I understand. I often assume the worst of everything as well. However it goes, there will be ways to cope with it.
Yeah, my coping has come a long way since I got ill 15 years ago. Things fluctuate and there is lots I still can't cope with, but I know I have the ability to improve.
We'll both get there.
I respect your humanity.
Okay is good. Okay is sometimes all we need. Hope tomorrow will be even better!
Thanks everyone! Lydia, I forgot to mention a specific SFA from their early albums I think you should check out: 'Demons' - it's a slower song with loads of mariachi trumpets.
I didn't mean to hug myself. I meant to say the feeling my thoughts give me is awful and how ever much I try to downplay the importance of these thoughts they still take over and override everything.
Everybody should hug themselves sometimes, John :) Be kind to yourself
Being kind to myself is something I struggle with and always have. Especially when I'm not feeling great, I blame myself for feeling like this. I know I shouldn't but I always do.
Thanks though Liz :-) your kindness is appreciated
Yes, always hug yourself. Feels silly at first, but it gets easier to accept. For the paranoia.. is there anyone you can turn to when it's getting worse? But that's probably not what you want to do when you're paranoid. Hope you'll feel better soon!
I've got supportive family and social care is being arranged and should be in place after Xmas. Right now the paranoia is causing massive anxiety symptoms so I've taken a diazepam. It should calm me enough so I am able to sort my thinking out.
I try to take diazepam once or twice a month or less because my body gets used to them and they get less effective. They are also potentially addictive. I've read my other medication (other than the Anti Psychotic) Propranolol helps anxiety...
I take it stop my hands shaking with my essential tremor.
Seems like you have to take a hella lot meds, damn. But I'm very glad your family supports you, that's really important. Haven't told mine what's going on, but it's not as bad as your situation so I'm trying to do it on my own. Christmas isn't that
far away so I hope the next weeks will be, if not good, then at least okay for you and that social care actually is helpful.
2 regular meds and 1 occasional. I used to be on Clozapine and had to take 4 more other drugs just to control the side effects. Now that was a nightmare! Yeah I had social care when I lived in Wales, it helps me get things done
And it seems you are using MoodPanda to get support, telling family might happen naturally at some point.
Good to hear, John! I love observing animals in their natural environment.
Being in a city (or on the edge of one) I think they were semi captive, but still nice to see. I wish I had my camera and zoom lens with me though because I've walked past there a few times before and seen them.
Bring your camera the next time you go for a walk (and the zoom lens when you're going there again). I'm always a bit sad when I see something great/pretty/surprising and only have my phone with me. I remember pics of deers and stags in Richmond Park
in London, which are impressive and beautiful. Don't know if they are free or living in captivity, though.
Typo: I missed out the word 'never'. I'd never seen the deer before. I've not been to London for years, these were in Sheffield.
And yeah, my phone photos were very underwhelming.
Why would it cause an OD reaction? That's a very scary thought. Was it an unconscious or conscious thought? Might sound a bit naive, but I hope it was just an almost mistake.
Grapefruit juice contains an enzyme which increases the amount of medication in my blood. Even a small 200ml glassful would increase the concentration of my AP by about 9 times (or thereabouts).
Actually that's wrong. Grapefruit increases the rate of absorption...
Either way it causes an OD and says to avoid it. I've not self harmed properly for over ten years, not since my late teens. So I was deemed a suitable candidate for the drug.
I'd never heard of this, but I just googled it. Crazy stuff, man. I hope you won't feel an urge to self-harm in the future and steer clear of grapefruit juice (if you can avoid it).