...a chocolate milk bottle to keep me from laying a hand on someone.
Sometimes, it's true that your attitude influences how you perceive the day. But for people who struggle as many of us do, it's like saying 'stop being unhappy, just be happy.' It just doesn't work that way. They don't understand...
You're gonna make it, one task at the time !
oh, nvm? probably?
Is there? I don't see anything...
hm, i saw it this morning, then it went back to normal when i refreshed
Awh no! Feel better soon
Hope you are doing better now.
Well congrats! Just remember to use the word love sparingly, love is a strong word but if we use to every person we date it loses value. A dating relationship is always romantic, its just going beyond the 'close friends' threshold.
... and when i want to discuss something like politics, religion, or other, she'll say that i'll either grow out of it, or she'll get mad and basically say 'let me tell you how it really is' and berates me, because of the excuse of 'she's older...
... and has more experience'. it's no excuse to make me feel invalidated.
Your political and religious opinions are valid.it's probably challenging, but maybe you shouldn't sharwhen she says you're following a trend or will grow out of something, maybe you should tell her that everyone needs to learn lessons for themselves
And you'll get there on your own time but this is how you feel right now. I don't know good luck with it parents are pretty tricky to work with. And I'm a mom I should know.
Or, just thought of something else, you could try validating her. Tell her that it totally makes sensen that her experience has taught her whatever an her age probably does make her wiser on some things. Maybe she'll learn how to validate by
By hearing you. I don't know how old you are, so this may not be appropriate, but the pod cast With Friends Like These addresses talking with friends, family, or other about things they disagree on. The host typically addresses current events.
^^^^ I like the sound of that podcast Ilisidi. I think I will check it out. Lokisdottir, I can identify with a lot of what you have said. In one way, it feels like your Mom sounds worse than mine but I don't know if that's just because I feel guilty
if I speak negatively about my parents and tend to make excuses for them. My Dad has called me lazy, told me I 'wallow' in my depression, suggested that my depression might be because I have engaged in a séance and that I just need to
'hand it over to God', without saying it in black and white he has more or less suggested that I am/have been possessed by the devil (as a reason for my depression). He has called me 'selfish' before and said hurtful things like,
'Don't pretend you love me.' because I didn't partake in ONE anniversary celebration despite having organised several other celebrations that year and been there for the nitty gritty periods when he was having weekly chemo and cared for him at home
when he had stem cell treatment. . . My God, when you write it out, it seems so much worse. . . My Mom, throughout the years has told me what she feels is an acceptable weight for me. Herself and my sister would suggest I should put more effort into
how I looked but then if I wore makeup my Dad would comment that he hated it when I wore makeup. When I cut my hair short, my Dad told me he prefers it long and curly. I always felt like my family didn't appreciate how tough it was for me to do my
masters through my second language, yet defended my brother and allowed him not to do any housework etc. because he was studying medicine. (My Mom's dad was a doc and she tried to get all three of us children to become doctors. My parents even
emotionally manipulated me into repeating two years at school so that I could get the grades required to do medicine and also, I repeated the aptitude test during my first year of university. I fell short by a few points but I always felt like my
my Mom wanted it more than I did. My Dad used to tell people, 'D(my bro.)'s doing medicine and R (me) NEARLY got in but she didn't and now she is doing science'. It was so embarrassing. I think he felt like he was acknowledging how well I did but I
just felt like he was rubbing salt in the wound, highlighting my disappointing 'just not quite good enoough'-ness despite the fact that I'd worked my ass off. At 28, I have noticed that when I go through a rough period, if I go home, I only get worse
because my parents tend to blame me for my problems and try to take complete control of my life/what and how I should do things. My parents will say that my Mom is organised and will who me how to plan my lessons (I'm a teacher) and that she would
time me and see how many I could do. My Dad would back her up and say I should take her advice. They would get angry wehen I came across a stumbling block with one particular topic and started saying how they couldn't understand how i could focus on
Netflix and not focus on doing my lesson plans .. . Despite the fact that I was highly sleep-deprived and had just started on antidepressants. . . As I said, I'm 28. I moved out about 7 months ago. I am paying back a loan to my parents. It was a
huge pressure before I moved out as my Dad used to make me feel guilty about it. It felt like the millstone around my neck. But now that I am working, I am paying them back. It will feel so great to have the debt cleared. I am fully licensed to drive
but I am not driving as I can't afford to buy/run a car. It makes things much more difficult, stressful and time-consuiming as I rely on public transport, taxis or lifts if I'm lucky BUT, I am convined it is worth it to press on and clear the debt to
my parents, rather than adding to it. . . As for the 'help' and 'advice' that they can sometimes try to shove down my throat and belittle and berrate and criticise me, I am trying to work on getting to a place where I can stand my ground,
respectfully remind them that it's my life and I have the right to make my own decisions but most importantly, not react emotionally. That last part is the part I struggle with the most. No matter how aware I am of how they shouldn't be treating me
like that, I guess there is a part of me that still craves their love and approval and I can't help but feel guilty and sad when I feel like I am letting them down when they get frustrated with me. . . Sorry for taking over your post. I am just
trying to relate to you and show you that someone else is going through something similar and understands. . . Now, help. I have found some of these websites helpful lately as it helped me realise what I do sometimes to perpetuate the cycle. I don't
know what age you are or how much power you have over your own life but some of the tips on these sites may be helpful: https://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-a-Controlling-Parent
KTA, i'm glad you shared this story to me. we can wallow in our parental angst together :3
Hope that didn't go viral...
...it after what happened last time... i rly want to be with him... but we probably don't know each other that well. fck it, he's cute and he makes me buzz with happiness. it's the best i've ever felt with someone since the last guy.
welp... guess i'm falling back in love