6.4 avg
  946 days
  5715 hugs
  1(4) Ok im the hypocrite. Should have told the tutors yesterday and put a stop to it. So i went in today, and it was easier to stay than to leave. Guess im a coward too.2(6) Slept somewhat better even though it wasnt long enough. 2 more days!3(3) Really peed off. Wasnt given chance to do resit on last day of course, having already taken a month of annual leave, i now need to find more time from somewhere.
(2) Slept for 3 hours this afternoon. Ignored 5 fonecalls. Can see myself falling
4(6) Back at work. Normal routine. Good5No Reasons
6(6) Slept all day yesterday. Getting up for gym and a few chores. But feeling ill and tired7(6) Still sick, but work8(6)
(8) Good climbing session. Feeling more well and happier than of late.
9No Reasons10(8) Passed resit. Relief
(6) My 1st free friday night after the course. I didnt make plans, so stuck home alone watching police interceptors
11No Reasons12(8) Lazy morning in bed. Been awake hours, but no need to get up yet, and its cold out
13No Reasons14No Reasons15(6) Meh!16(7) Each time i look at the new homepage, it appears as a photo of someone with a panda mask head. Its freaky. ;)17No Reasons18(6) Please hurry up 6.30. Want work to be over today.19No Reasons
20(7) 21(6) Tired today22No Reasons23(7) 24(5) Need junkfood25(6) Invited parents to my graduation. Now they are trying to take over. Just going to stay calm but firm26(5) Wish i could meet that someone special. Im ready
27(3) So much for keeping my cool with my parents. I deinvited/ disinvited them to my graduation.28No Reasons
1(7) 3 hours at gym. Happier today.2(7)
(5) Want it to ne 6 or 7. But its not
(5) The work guy and i decided to stop seeing each other. Work today was nothing less than awkward x20
4(7) Not gonna let them get me down5(6) So when your head is a 4 and yor heart an 8
(4) Fed up. Dont have my work rota beyond next week. Means ive had to miss out on good oportunities for volunteer shifts
(5) Just pissed off. Work. Men. Life. Early start
6(8) Long volunteer shift. Tiring, but feels better than the day job7(7) Slept late. But that was ok. I have no plans today and thats a good thing
(7) Chilled day. Junk food. But as its not every day thats ok. Still a bit wistful about how things ended with the boy at work. But its not the end of the world
8(6) Cried at therapy. But overall feeling positive. Feeling excited about eurovision at the weekend9No Reasons10(7)
(5) NEED cheese AND chocolate.
11(8) 12(7) 7.5
(6) Can just looking at someone be a habit?
13(8) 14(9) EUROVISION PARTY was great. Today was the clean up.
15(7) 16(8) The boy crush has a week holiday. Peace at work :)
(4) Cant stop eating
(5) Why do i hang on to stuff for too long? Hes forgotten everything and im still moping around
18(4) Ive decided to close fb. Partly because of the hot younger collegue i friendedxand had a failed fling with. Partly because of my new role in police. To stop wasting time and get more of it.
19(8) 20(5) Cant get off the sofa again. Next door are yelling21(7) 12 hour shift. Volunteer. Feeling good
22No Reasons23(5) The boy is back at work tomorrow :( ive enjoyes him being on holiday and not being there. Guess i have to see how it is. I have started looking for another job, because he isnt going to
(7) You know, today wasnt so bad.
(6) This afternoon was tougher. The boy at work tried to get a reaction. And it worked. I did get a good workout though, so still green
25(9) Sunny day. Outdoor swimming and sunbathing. So lucky to have day off. No worries26(7) 27(8) Perhaps its the sun...28(7) Gone to parents for weekend. Chilling
29(6) Fed up with all the games at work. Have an interview tomorrow30(5) Interview went well, but i wasnt strict on my demands. Afterwards Spent 3 hours travelling for a course that got cancelled without notice
(6) How can i be so utterly exhausted but unable to sleep
31(6) Spoke to the guy i used to have a crush onat work today. work is so much more dull now that it was unsuccesful, now its not exciting Pandas, i advise you: dont go there.
(9) Just deleted facebook. Such a positive move. Hope if gets rid of messenger too
   1No Reasons2No Reasons3(8) Lovely day with a friend yesterday, culture and drinks. Too tired to get up for gym today tho. Meeting another friend. Feeling social, but would like to be in love.4No Reasons
5(7) Tired, but cant miss gym again6(6) Tired again. Need to stop this cycle of 5-6 hours at night and 3 in the day. I promise an early night tonight.7(7) Had an early night, but overslept. Hopefully another earlyish one will help8(5) Just ate a 10 cheese pizza. Greasy. Yum and yucky at same time9(4) Regrets10(9) Hiking. Pretty route, sunshine, great people.11No Reasons
12(8) Over slept, but not repremanding myself for it
(6) Not. Too. Bad. Nice drinks with friend
(7) Just spent 4 hours online searching for guy from fridays dance. No luck, but it's beginning to feel like stalking.
14No Reasons15No Reasons16(5) I handed in my notice today. Slightly nervous about having taken the leap.17(8) Feel relief. Even work isnt so bad knowing ive only got to put up with 3 months more of it
(5) Missing love. Many regrets
18(7) 10pm. 1st meal of the day. Not had oportunity ,not because i wanted to not eat. So ravenous i just inhaled dinner
19(7) 20(5) Negotiating t&cs for a new job. Im really not good at asking for money even though i know i am worth what i should ask. Dont like feeling greedy.21(7)
(5) Can you have an intense connection with someone be only momentary? Wishing we will meet again
22No Reasons23(6) Still moping24(5) Jealousy25(7) Admin day. Quiet but necessary
26(8) Good gym session. Was difficult for me to get up today. But once i did, i was raring to go. Therapy in 30 mins27(7) 28(5) 2 girls at work have been stabbing me in the back. But im not going to let them get me down29(8) Seèing best friend later30(7) One of those days i achieved less than intended and now iv a 1 hour detour on the way to a friends house to check police emails as all the local stations are closed and i cant get in.
     1(7) 2(7) Late night. Early start. Must go to bed early tonight
(8) Chatting to a nice guy online. Happy feelings. :)
3(8) Happy feelings4(7)
(9) 1st date. It was nice.
5No Reasons6No Reasons7(7) 8(8) Date #3 already :)9No Reasons
10(8) After working both weekend dates im finally rocking in my hammock and getting some sun11(5) Date #4 didnt happen because it was raining. He didnt want me to catch cold because of the rain. He had no back up plan and it is disappointing. I think im going off him12No Reasons13(8) Last day at work before holidays14(8) Today will be busy. Must go yoga though. I missed the last 2 weeks. Feeling pretty good
(5) Why do people like me intensley quickly, then disappear quickly too?
15(10) On way to airport16No Reasons
17No Reasons18(10) Climbing in dolomites. But today a rest day. Beer and rain. More climbing tomorrow19(7) Enjoying holiday very much. But relations with the new by are iffy. I dont know if its because im away and its early days, or if im looking for red flags, but somethings dont feel right20(8) Good night sleep. Birds singing. Achy legs21(8) Another climb planned for today
(5) Red flags with the guy. Who has 2 showers in 1 hour because they forgot to wash hair?
22No Reasons23No Reasons
24(7) Im on holiday. Its 19.20 and i want to go to bed25(8) Nice day sunbathing26(7) 27(8) End of holiday is approaching but i wint let it get me down28(8)
(6) Feeling a bit pissedoff
29(4) Messed up my plane ticket home. Although it was quite expensive it doesnt include checked bags. Now ive done online checkin im going to have to pay excess baggage at airport. Too much money30(5) Ok. I dumped the guy by text while i was in italy. We had only had 5 dates so it shouldnt be a big issue. Now he expexts to see me for answers when i get back.
31No Reasons
 1(6) 1st day back at work. Not as bad as expected
(5) Hi Pandas. Before my holiday i put my purse in a safe place. Eg i cant find it for 3 days now. If you were me where might you have put it?
2No Reasons3(5) Spent all day registering with agencies for temp work. Hadnt expected as many and as varied forms. Have only managed 2 and now my computer has crashed4No Reasons5(9) Went out with friends last night. They are a lovely group. One had bought me a gift because she saw it and knew i would like it. Such kindness. Sometimes i feel like im not worthy.6(8) Productive day
7(6) I finished with the guy today. Feel it eas the right thing.8(7) The boy from work i had a fling with was in today. We both had holiday so not seen him for 3 weeks. Was happy to see him. At least its only 6 weeks till i leave for good.9(6) Just feeling sooo tired since my holiday
(5) Pissed off with work. Collegue telling tales. Cant wait to leave.
10(7) Chill but tired11(6) 12(5) Spent day in bed hungover13No Reasons
14(6) How is it monday already?15No Reasons16(7) 17No Reasons18No Reasons19(9) Looking forwards to a night out with the girls20No Reasons
21(5) Still thinking about the boy at work. Only 1 month left there. Not sure where the head will be at on my last day. And when will i leave the boy behind22No Reasons23(6) Tired and have too much on. Just cant seem to get to bed at a reasonable time.24(7)
(7) The boy at work touched me 3 x today. Confused!
25(9) Weekend away26No Reasons27(7) Camping weekend. Excellent weather.
28No Reasons29No Reasons30(5) PANIC. 2 hours looking gor phone. Need it for alarmclock and gps tomorrow. Heartrate almost back to normal. But pissed at such a waste of time31No Reasons
    1No Reasons2(6) Tired. Longest working week in over 10 years.3(4) Flu
4(6) Feeling a little better. Training course today and work all week. Just hope my voice stays strong5No Reasons6(5) Think worst of flu is over. I was a bit too moany at work today. I even annoyed myself. Ha! At least tomorrow i can be better7No Reasons8(7) Jst wish the rain would stop
9No Reasons10(8) Seeing old collegues
11(8) Good gym session. Took stuff to charity shop. My therapist thinks i dont really need to see her much longer.12No Reasons13(8) Only 2 more days at work. Said goodbye to the boy yesterday as he is away for my last days. Managed to make it awkward but i guess its been moreso in the past after we stopped seeing each other.14(7) My last day at work after 15 years. No thank you from the boss or card from the collegues. Green score is because im grateful to be out of that place15(8) 1st day of unemployed/ self employed16No Reasons17(4) Realised today i left some expensive equiptment in my old job. I have to go back tomorrow even though i hate it there
18(7) Errand day.19No Reasons20(10) Love, love, loving being self employed21(9) Another great day22(9) Yep. Its still good23No Reasons24(9) Fantastic day out yesterday. Nice gym session today and later meeting a friend for drinks and to try the zip line over the thames
25(7) 26(7) 27(7) Working away from home. Liking the space but feeling a bit isolated
(6) Self employed means I need to raise money for taxes but I'm not getting paid for months
(8) Just ran 10 km without too much difficulty
29(7) Long drive home after work today. Happy to be in own bed after 3 nights in hotel. Feeling unsettled about something though.30(8) Picked grapes to make wine. Sunny day. Chatting to nice people online. Chilled
(7) Made my 2nd arrest. Good for targets. Tited and main job tomorrow. I haven't worked Mondays in years. The guy that I like disapproves of the police and hasn't messaged me today knowing im on duty
2(8) Work is still good3(7) 4(8) 5(8) 6(9) Fancy dress party tonight. Im going as little mermaid :)7(8) Woke this morning with a sore knee. Must have been my wild dancing. Hehe. Date tonight playing pool so should be able to cope8(9) Date ended with a kiss. :)
9No Reasons10(6) Not working in such a nice place today. But luckily i dont have to go back11(8) Working away for the next three days. They've put me in the most beautiful room. It's also nice to have some away time12(6) Realised i dont like staying away from home.13No Reasons14(6) Another night of bad sleep. Hope tonight will be better as im finally going to be in my own bed15(9)
16(8) 17(8) Work was good again and im getting feelings for someone :)18(7) In a lovely workplace again. But 4 hours travel for 8 hours work doesnt make sense
(9) Warm and fluffy feelings
19No Reasons20(9) Another lovely work place. A great date last night. Life is looking good21(9)
(9) Planning the future with great job prospects great voluntary work and a lovely man is there a nine and a half on here?
22No Reasons
23(8) How to train cat to use catflap?
(5) Lost my diary. Have lots of catching up to do in it
24(9) Diary found. Last day of work before holiday. But i like work too. Slightly tired. And it will be a hectic holiday25(9) 26(10) On way to airport for hols. Lovely evening with the new guy:) i think i can give a 10!27(9) 28No Reasons29(9)
30No Reasons31No Reasons