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January
MTWTFSS
1(5) Resolutions in the new year: Be strong. Be present. Talk less and listen more. Focus more at work. Drink less. Not that different from last year's, but I'm ok with that. It's just another day.
(6) Today was a good day! Lazy morning, and then my annual run around the bay (13.5 miles in under 10F! Brrr...). Invited people to join me and had a group of 6. So much better than running alone!
2(6) Back to work. Tough to get up this morning so early. New project will be very stressful. Trying to keep it in perspective and not let them take advantage of me. Going to stay focused.3(5) Cops with assault rifles closed off road to radio station yesterday, so my radio show got cancelled. Didn't really mind. 5 miles on treadmill this morning. Dog got me up twice last night. Tired.4(5) Freakin' winter. Big storm. Going to be below 0F (-30 wind chill) next two days, and over 12' of snow. Stressed about getting to work and around. Blah.5(5) Bitter, dangerous cold (-20 to -30F wind chill) today and tomorrow. Snow makes it much worse, because salt won't work on the roads, and shoveling is horrid. Working at home this morning, but...
(5) Eat lunch early, brave the cold and blowing snow to drive super slowly on sketchy roads to get to work so I can do an interview...and it's rescheduled for Monday. Argh. Oh well, here now.
6(6) Far too cold to go outside today. Snowy, 4F (-20+ with windchill). Ran on the treadmill 6.5 miles (stopped out of boredom), undecorated and cleaned house, did laundry. Now beer and football this PM.7No Reasons
8(5) Not a bad Sunday. Today is warmer - over 30F for first time in 2 weeks. Anxiety kept me awake last night. Busy day/week at work for sure. Going to be a long week!9(5) Slushy, wet run last night, but nice to have temps above freezing. Feeling very anxious this week. I think it's the looming work. Plus dog giving me problems. And tired. Sigh.10(5) Tired this morning. Going to be a long, busy day. Ran on treadmill this morning instead of running in slush with people tonight. Sick of winter, and 2 feet of snow predicted this weekend. Ugh.11(4) Yesterday was difficult. No focus at work so got nothing done, which means work piles up. Craving sugar or going out for beer. Car issues. Dog got me up at 3 this morning. Tired and stressed.
(4) Unbelievable. 55 degrees (F) here today. A foot of snow expected tomorrow night. There goes my weekend running. And that means more terrible conditions for running next week. Tired of winter already!
12(6) Yesterday was better. Got stuff done at work. Took advantage of warm weather to run 7.5 miles in the rain. Snow is mostly gone, but a foot expected tonight. Beer/food thing tonight should be fun.13No Reasons14(5) Tons of snow yesterday made for a lazy inside day. Went out last night to see a 90s cover band. Was fun, but didn't stay long. Bit hungover this morning. No plans today, just football I guess.
15(4) Off work today, still got up early. Cold and sad. Melancholy, I guess. Lonely for sure. Trying to face the year more positively, but feel like I'm failing lately. Or just having to struggle more.16(5) I guess I'm ok today. Work is going to be stressful for sure this week. Not sure how to do everything...a lot is out of my hands. Radio show tonight. Dog's been behaving badly while I'm away. Sigh.17(5) Still so cold. Winter really affects my mood. Have to get outside more like last year, but it's so bitter cold. Hate living life hoping time passes quicker. Stressful, busy day at work today...
(4) Got stuck in a rabbit hole reading about loneliness and feeling lonely. So tired tonight. Craving comfort so drinking. Weak.
18(4) Big dip in mood last night lingers to this morning. Relentless cold and darkness makes everything harder, even sleeping and eating and dealing with the dog. Tired and sad.19(4) Ran in the cold last night with some good people. Felt pretty good about things, but then horrible night's sleep, dog got sick, bitter cold day - mood dipped again.20No Reasons21(6) Had a nice weekend D with parents. They helped me convert my extra room to office/treadmill room and it looks great. Ran some hard miles outside in slush/snow. Was a nice few days.
22(5) Ugh Monday. January is such a tough time. It's so long, and there's so little light. I hate wishing time away, but January and February feel like punishments or purgatory, just to endure.23(6) My parents bought me a new refrigerator. It arrived today. All big and shiny! They're sort of spending money now while they can see it enjoyed rather than waiting for when they die. Morbid but sweet!24(5) Bought my tickets to Florida in March, so now I have something to look forward to! Fighting a cold, though. I can feel it trying to latch on. Sometimes the 'getting sick' is worse than being sick. :/25(5) Sore throat tells me I'm still fighting something. Everyone at work is or was sick, so it's inevitable. Super cold again today, but have to run outside tonight. Warmer for weekend.26(6) Feeling pretty good physically. Sore throat isn't bothering me, and legs feel good despite 7.5-mile run last night. It's Friday, and I have things to do this weekend. Hope my panda friends are well!27No Reasons28No Reasons
29(5) Nice weather this weekend. Less cold and sunny. Got some good trail running in (lots of mud and ice). Went to the party Saturday, and it was ok. Nice to be around people, I guess. This week will...30(5) Felt crummy yesterday. Achy, a little nauseous. Didn't want to do group run last night. Ended up running and felt amazing. Thankful for what running can do for me...31(4) Lungs bothering me after running. Still fighting a cold or flu bug or something. Beautiful huge moon this morning. But soooo cold out! I'm so tired of winter, and so much left to endure! Stressed...
February
MTWTFSS
   1(3) Woke up from sound sleep and dreams to my alarm. Jarring. Felt nauseous this morning, so didn't run. Guilt over that now. Still don't feel good, and very long day of training ahead. Ugh.2(5) Yesterday was rough. Didn't feel good all day. Was dressed to go run and decided to stay home. Went to bed super early. Feel better today, though stomach still a bit off. Blah.
(4) This has been a long week. I think I'm fighting the flu or something. Gave in to craving for sugar and ate cupcakes. Feeling low. Probably will have to work this weekend. No plans. Sigh.
3(5) Ran 9 trail miles today, and really felt weak after fighting this bug all week. Tired now... Don't want to brave store but need groceries for dinner and superbowl tomorrow. Feeling a little lonely.4(5) Just two or three people coming over to watch the Superbowl today. I made chili with bacon, and it is pretty good! Of course, done too early. Stomach is a bit off. Stressed over work this coming week.
5(5) Yep, morning after Super Bowl. Feeling bloated and off after too much food and beer, and exhausted after too little sleep. Plus work stress. Next 4 weeks will be very difficult. And it's so cold! :(6(5) Work stress...too much to do, too many unrealistic expectations. Going to be a long day...
(5) Ugh. Work is just getting stupid. Just have to make it through February...worst month of the year. Jaw hurts from clenching it. So tired! Doing my radio show...just want to sleep.
7(5) Tired this morning. Still. Less and less time to do the work that needs to be done. Supposed to snow all day...going to be a hard drive home. And will make outdoor running miserable again. Blah.8(4) So much snow and cold! Gave in and went out for beer and dinner yesterday instead of cooking healthy. Dog was sick this morning (probably from eating too much rawhide). Great start. Ugh.9(5) Ran hills on trails in the snow and cold last night with good people. Beer and nachos after. Was a lot of fun! Tired this morning, and a ton to do, plus prob have to work this weekend. Ah well...10(5) More snow last night. Wanted to go out and run, but ran on the treadmill instead. It's barely noon, and I'm bored and sad and lonely. I should work; I have tons to do and brought computer home. Ugh.11(5) Was going to run with my old running partners, but they didn't really want me there. So went to do trails by myself, and ran into other nice people to run with. 9 hard, cold miles through the snow.
12(4) Ugh, hungover. Stupid me, I knew I didn't want that last beer last night. Feel really crappy and at work. So tired too. I hate that I do this to myself. Going to be a long, hard day.
(5) Finally feeling better and able to eat (and drink coffee...blessed caffeine). Can focus on work again. Shame I wasted several hours. Could have been worse I guess. I've had worse hangovers...:(
13(5) Feeling much better today than yesterday. No one showed up to my group run last night, so I ran alone. It was very icy! Work is going to be very stressful these last few weeks of Feb. Ugh! Hate stress14(4) Valentine's Day is a stupid, made-up holiday to get people to spend an inordinate amount of money to quantify how much they care. I wear black and go home alone. So just another day then...15(5) Little break in winter weather, which is nice. Went out and had a few beers and a pizza last night. Feeling very anxious, though. Probably caused by work stress.16(6) Was so tired and not feeling well last night, but went out to run hill repeats with a few people, and so glad I did. Felt much better after! (Few beers and food after helped.) Feeling ok today!17(6) 18 miles on icy trails in the cold with a few friends. Was so hard and tiring, One long hill kicked my butt! But so much fun. Brewery stop after helped. Now quiet evening and early to bed.18No Reasons
19(6) Day off. Ran a 10k on the trails, now working. Going to be a very stressful week. But feeling pretty good right now, so I'll appreciate that while I have it!20(5) Today starts the hell period at work. This week and next week will be very stressful and busy. Really worried about getting home to let dog out. 12-hour days...just have to get through.
(5) Busy, busy day. Training is hard, and 3 more days this week (plus all next week). Got home at 4:15, ran a mile with the dog to tire him out, and left at 5:10 for my radio show.
21No Reasons22(4) 12-hour workday yesterday. Slept poorly, and stomach is off this morning. Another long, busy day today. Winter's back again too, which is sad. Feeling really tired and blah.23(5) Yesterday was a tough day. Didn't run last night, but grabbed food and beers with the running group. Throat hurts today...hope not getting sick. Going to be another long day, but at least its Friday!24(6) Ran 20 miles today with my new running partner. Was fun, but so hard. Wiped out from last week for sure! But am glad to have a new running buddy and managed to get through!25No Reasons
26(5) Well yesterday was a total waste. I think I was really burned out from last week and Saturday's long run. Felt sick and miserable so did almost nothing. Feel better today. One more hell week!27(5) So tired this morning. Treadmill yesterday morning, 4 miles last night, treadmill this morning. Hell week at work. Gotta get through it. Trying to stay even and keep pushing on...28(4) So tired this morning. Quit after 3 treadmill miles. Feeling all the food and beer I've been consuming while stressed on this big project. Makes me feel bad about myself. Going to be a long, hard day.
March
MTWTFSS
   1(5) February is over. Good riddance! My least-favorite month. But it went quick, due to crazy project at work, and March is coming in with cold and snow tomorrow. Sigh. Two weeks until Florida!
(6) One good thing about this crazy project that's had me working so many stressful hours: I get recognized for it at work. Heard several good things lately about my job. Feels good to be appreciated!
(1) Can really use prayers and thoughts for my friend right now. I can't imagine how he will deal with this. So afraid for him and don't know how to be there for him.
2(1) Please, if you ever think of killing yourself, know that people love you so much, and your actions will hurt them forever more than you can comprehend. Talk to someone first. Let people help you.3(1) Long post, but need to vent and don't have anyone to talk to. So figured I'd do it here (and in comments). Feel need to express myself about what happened and how I feel. Hoping it helps a bit.4No Reasons
5(2) Slept on my friend's couch so he wouldn't be alone in the house w/o his wife last night. Got maybe 45 minutes of sleep. Going to be a long, tough day. Calling hours tonight. Not feeling very good.6(3) Last night's calling hours were difficult. But got a good night's sleep at least. Funeral today. Have to run later. Headache...7(4) Was a hard few days. I wanted to thank the pandas for all your hugs and thoughts and kind words and advice. Back to work for a few days before my 2-week vacation. Gotta get through these days...8(4) Work is quieter and lighter today/tomorrow, then vacation. Still stressed over car issue and running and things. Probably build up from friend's death. Poor night's sleep. Blah.
(3) Feeling very tired and overwhelmed and out of patience. Think I'm getting sick. Ugh.
9(4) Last day before 2 weeks off. I really need it. Friend is going to Florida with me. Happy he is getting away, and will be nice to have someone to do things with, I guess.10No Reasons11(5) Cold and snow. So tired of that! Leaving for Florida tomorrow, and it had better be warm! Hot even. Have to run through snow today...last one for a week at least. Ready for Spring.
12(6) Got to Florida. Not hot here, but much warmer than NY. Drank some good beers and ate some good food. Gonna take a few days to relax, but glad to be here and away from home for a bit.13(6) Beautiful if coll Florida day. Went to St Petersburg and to the beach but too cool and windy to sit out. Drove around and good food/beer for lunch. Now home to relax. Nice day so far.14(6) Eating and drinking my way around Florida. Unhealthy but so much fun. Had the best, fresh shrimp! Tons of beer. Enjoying it, but will surely feel it later!15(6) Dropped my friend off at airport to go home. I have another week here in Florida. Getting warmer, which is great. Saw a lovely garden area and had some beers. Feeling the need for me time but doing ok16(6) Quieter day today. Ran 5 miles then walked 5 miles with my dad and his friend looking for gatora. The sun has me feeling tired. Planning a 20-Mike run tomorrow morning, then a visit to another brewery17(6) Caught a cold. Didn't sleep much last night and very congested. Still got 18.5 miles this morning through Florida. Met my folks at a brewery during their St Party celebration. Was fun! Crab for dinner18(6) Cold sapping a lot of my energy. Reaching limit of time I can spend with parents. Need to recharge, will be ok. A few more days in Florida and all week off work. Appreciative of time away to relax.
(5) Feeling frustrated and annoyed. Hard to be around people so much. So used to holding everything in, and sometimes i don't know how to talk or respond to people. Sigh. Feeling sorry for myself. Oh well
19(6) Feeling a bit better. Pretty lazy day. Rainy off and on in Florida my last few days here. Still enjoying not being at work.20(5) Didn't do much at all today. Stormy day in Florida. I guess it's ok to be bored on vacation. Kind of ready to be home. Not ready to return to winter though. That will hurt the most!21(6) Didn't do much today. Ran 8 miles this morning. Drove out to Gulf Coast for delicious fresh shrimp. Leave for home tomorrow. Sad to leave but ready to be home I think.22(6) Back home in cold NY. Having some beers to end vacation. Looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. Getting dog in the morning.23(6) Dog is home, and all is well with the world again. Had a good night's sleep in my own bed. Enjoying last work day off work. Already tired of cold again, though...
(4) All I wanted to do today was fix my stupid treadmill. They sent me the internal parts to replace. I can't unscrew the screws. Won't budge a fraction of an inch. Fingers bleeding. So annoyed!
24(6) Managed to get the treadmill fixed and back together. One of the hardest things I had to do by myself. So wish I had help, even if just to hold things. 15-min job took me hours. Hope it keeps working!25No Reasons
26(5) Back to work. So hard to get up at 4:15 am again after 3 weeks of sleeping until 5 or later (treadmill was broken + funeral stuff, then 2 weeks of vacation). Barely got 2 miles this morning. So tired.27(6) Fun run back with my Monday night folks last night. Leg is really sore this morning, but got 4 miles on the treadmill as I try to get back into early mornings. Feeling relatively ok.28(5) Very tired. Hard adjusting back to early mornings. Think it's healthier to stay up later and get up later, though not sure why. Work is slower. Booked my AirB&B for my race in May!29(5) So exhausted...hard to adjust to these early mornings again. Stomach is off today for some reason. Supposed to be pouring today for my evening run, and cold again this weekend. Sick of winter!30(6) Run in the rain last night wasn't bad. Have to do my long run by myself tomorrow, which means struggles to keep going and motivate myself to go long. Lots to do this weekend, which is good and bad.31No Reasons
April
MTWTFSS
      1No Reasons
2(6) Had friends around Friday evening, Saturday evening, and Sunday for Easter, so was a nice weekend and felt quite lucky! But drank a lot of beer and ate a lot of food, so feeling it this morning! Ugh.3(5) So tired of winter. It's April...shouldn't be dealing with temps at freezing and possible snow showers. Very tired this morning. But had a fun run with ppl last night. Work isn't crazy right now.4(5) Legs really sore, making running tough. I was doing really good before vacation and my friend's death, now having trouble getting back into running as well. Muscle pain and fatigue. Blah.5(5) Better run this morning. So frustrated it's snowing outside in April. 25 degrees below average and no end to winter in sight. Tired. Have felt off all week, not sure what day it is...6(5) Didn't run with either group last night. Weather got me down, so feeling guilt today. Had drinks with friend for her birthday instead. Tomorrow, doing 30 miles (or so) by myself. Hope it goes ok!7(4) Run was a fail. So murky/muddy and bitter cold. Managed a slow 16 miles but wanted 30. Feel training is not going to be good enough. Have $1000 in car repairs. Feeling very overwhelmed and lonely.8(4) Feeling very low. No one to talk to. Training is going really poorly, and it's all I have in my life right now, and no one cares about anything important to me. Tired of being cold.
9(4) Some thoughts on running and why I talk about it so much here...I haven't been a runner long, just 3 or 4 years. Wasn't very active growing up. But I enjoy it and how it's improved my health/fitness..10(5) Felt like I vented so much about the crappy weather to different people yesterday. Almost comforting. The weather is the one thing we can all agree on and relate to. And do nothing about. Tired of it.11(5) Struggling a little today. Pretty normal for Wednesday I guess. Roller coaster weather - warmer one day, cold and snow the next upcoming. Frustrating. Very tired...just want to rest and watch TV...12(6) Didn't go run last night with the group. Was cold and rainy. Drank instead. But feeling pretty good this morning. Good night's sleep. Work is going to get stressful again, but not today at least!13(5) Poor night's sleep. Legs are really sore. Have to run tomorrow, and supposed to be cold and rain/freezing rain. :( Ugh... feeling rather overwhelmed.14(5) Well, 20 miles today. Wanted more, but I was done. Really cold and windy, but at least the freezing rain held off. Stressed about my training, sure I haven't done enough. Not sure what to do.15No Reasons
16(4) Another miserable weather day. Historically bad spring so far. Legs are really sore. Mood is low, stress building up. Poor night's sleep; dog was crazy last night and this morning. Tired.
(6) Reminded that I am so lucky. I have a decent job, a home, a car, a dog...I'm healthy. So what if it's raining and cold, if work is stressful, if I'm in debt. I have my issues, but I'm so fortunate...
17(5) Bitter cold. Couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't get warm. Lungs bothering me today, chest is tight. Not sure why...kind of scary.18(6) Poor night's sleep and another bitter cold winter day. But legs and lungs feeling better this morning for treadmill run. Going to be a busy work day, but meeting friend later for cider.19(5) Up later than usual (and bit of a cider hangover this am), and dog kept me awake, barking at something outside. Very tired this morning, and breathing still wonky. Feel anxious.20(5) Tired this morning, but otherwise feeling ok. Legs are very sore, and big trail race tomorrow. Supposed to be cold (30s) and muddy this year, so won't be easy. Crazy hills. Hope I do ok!21No Reasons22No Reasons
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30No Reasons