5.6 avg
  1350 days
  21077 hugs
   1(6) Planning on doing some painting today2(6) Was gonna get up earlier but kept falling asleep..
(6) Painting progress so far, as requested ? https://instagram.com/p/Bes34Vxgygp/
3(6) First day at new job today, nervous/excited4No Reasons
5(6) I have another interview today, as my other job is only currently once a week, so I will see what they are offering. It would be good to be able to do both.6(6) Art therapy today7(5) Disappointed in a friend who thinks it is ok to post a status ridiculing what I have said when I was trying to provide support8(6) Going to paint today
(7) Been writing a daily blog type thing about my artwork and also how I'm feeling. I think it's been helping. Link below if you're interested https://natashastauntonart.wordpress.com/2018/02/08/birds/
9(6) Going to this business event today to promote my art and animation skills
(5) Ryan was meant to be home earlier but he's still working
10(5) Didn't get enough sleep, hoping work isn't too hard today.
(4) Down
11(6) Thinking of doing a Masters in Fine Art, do you think it's worth it?
12(5) Got a cold
(4) Feeling really ill and doubting myself, doubting what I should focus on, doubting as always. Anyway, I started making this animation series to help new vegans https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FzAhUjPLITc
13(4) Got art therapy today but I slept too much so I'm probably going to be late again.14(5) Still got a coooldddd :(15(5) Trying to rest16(5) Resting17(5) Sleepy. Work.
(5) As ever, death entices me.
18(5) Thinking about my options
(4) Wondering if I'm ever going to get anywhere.
(3) Will my depression ever leave me alone?
19(5) Work today, hopefully it goes better today.
(2) Work was a living nightmare today, I ended up leaving early and I couldn't stop crying
20(5) Art therapy was cancelled today21(5) Ryan is coming with me to work today, who knows what she is going to say to me when I walk through the door. Maybe today will be my last day.
(1) So I've been fired. She was horrible, reduced me to tears again. Ryan said you don't want to work for someone like her. She's so emotionally manipulative.
22(5) Woke up last night feeling negative, running through my head everything that happened. Had to write it down to get my feelings out.
(6) Actually ended up having a good day
23(5) Going to do some more painting today
(7) Gone out with my Ryan ??
24(5) Feeling a bit sick woops ?25(5) Hopelessly disorganised again and now I have to go 2 days without my antidepressants ?
26(5) Slept half the day away27(6) Looking forward to art therapy, no word that it's off this week.28(6) Got a reading this morning, hoping for some guidance, and then later I have open day at the university, looking at postgraduate courses.
   1(6) She finally paid me so now I can try and forget about everything that happened there. Going to do some more art today.2(6) Got some jobs to do today, how exciting!3(6) Mouth is swollen again, bloody wisdom tooth. Doing commissions again today.4(5) Mouth still swollen, sleepy. Going to do a YouTube episode today.
5(5) Got a little too drunk last night. Need to go outside in the snow today to go shopping and post office.6(5) Art therapy today. Sleepy.7(5) To get up or not to get up? I should probably get up8(5) ..things did not go well last night.9(5) Today is going to be busyyy10(5) Sleepy
(6) Visiting my parents :)
11(6) Going out for lunch, very sleepy this morning.
12(6) Going to finish making the episode today, do some drawing, spend time with mum :)13(6) So sleepy in the mornings recently. Going to do some more drawing today.14(5) Stayed over at grandads with dad as he's not well. Didn't sleep very well. Grandads been coughing a lot, hope he will be ok.15(6) Going to see friends later
(4) Bailed
16(6) Seeing nana today, cooking dinner for my sister later.17(4) Horrible dream18(5) Missing Ryan
(3) Feeling paranoid and anxious
19(5) Not sure what my plan is for today20(6) Might do some drawing today21(6) Sleepy. Going back to Sheffield, can't wait to see Ryan ?22(7) Ryan treated me to dinner last night, I'm so happy to wake up next to him again.23(6) Hoping to be productive today24(6) Overslept again but feeling positive about today
(5) Ugh I take it back I just want to go back to bed
25(2) His dad has ruined everything
26(6) Going into city centre with Ryan today, need to sort out my PIP for the first time.27(5) Sleepy, got art therapy today.
(2) I want to die
(7) Rehomed a new cockatiel friend ? she's so cute!
28(6) Looking forward to seeing my new birdy friend, finally a reason to get up in the morning!29(5) Sleepy after staying up late last night, need to get up for Pikachu, I hope she is ok.30(5) I think I need to start going to bed earlier31(6) Going to spend more time with Pikachu today
      1(6) Need to get up!
(4) Lonely
2(6) Happy to see Pikachu, going to read out loud to her.3(4) Ryan kept me awake most of the night. Tired. Last day at art therapy.4(6) Ryan is taking me ice skating today ??5(6) Viewing a flat today6(6) Going to a couple more viewings today and then will make a decision about making an offer.7(5) Got a horrible cold and couldn't sleep. Got about 4 hours sleep, but looking forward to going to Ireland. Just my luck to get a cold before holiday.8No Reasons
9No Reasons10(7) Enjoying holiday, nearly got rid of my cold :)11No Reasons12No Reasons13No Reasons14(4) Really sad to confirm that a fellow MoodPanda, Nick N, is no longer with us :( he was a lovely person and I hoped I could help but he decided to take his life. I hope you have finally found peace Nick15No Reasons
16(6) Looking after myself17(6) Sleepy18(6) Had fun last night, going to spend some time with Pikachu today.19(6) Doing some filming today
(8) Today was wonderful! The weather was beautiful and me and Ryan went for a walk in the woods and then watched some of A Series of Unfortunate Events before he went to work and then I read to Pikachu
20(6) Want to spend some time outside painting21(6) Sleepy22(5) Disappointed in myself for getting up late again
23(6) Ryan is off today :)24(6) Important happenings today25(5) Feeling anxious26(5) Sleepy27(5) Hoping to do some more animating today28(5) Woke up later than I meant to29(5) Been oversleeping a lot lately
30(5) Animating today
 1(5) Got a bite on my foot - it's so itchy!
(4) Feel like self harming
2(5) It's early... going to a vigil.3(5) Voting today
(4) Exhausted, ended up eating popcorn for dinner
4No Reasons5(5) Going to do more animating today6(6) Going out with Ryan today, for a picnic in the park, to the cinema to see Avengers and to dinner. I can't wait ??
7(6) So plans got a bit changed yesterday, we went to the park for a bit and then went out to lunch and went to our friends to watch Thor:Ragnarok because they said I should watch that before Avengers ?8(6) Going to do more animating today9(5) Barely slept. Going to a vigil.10(6) Had a great time seeing Avengers last night. Shocked at the ending.11(6) Going to do some more animating today12(6) Going to a birthday lunch today :)13(5) Last night was a disaster. Very tired now. Watching a film.
14(5) Going to the doctors. Sleepy.15(6) Have the Artenprise course today and then interview for a job. Hope they go well.16No Reasons17(6) Submitted my animation for DepicT! today, going to do some drawing this evening.18(5) Still not out of bed19(5) Is that the time? ?20(7) Enjoying the sun outside with Pikachu ?
21(5) Sleepy. Got an interview.
(7) Got the job! Pleased with myself :)
22(7) Been to course this morning, treated myself to a lunch from Pret A Manger and now enjoying the sun a bit before doing some food shopping23(5) Pip assessment this morning. Nervous.
(7) Postgraduate Open Day at Sheffield Hallam made me feel really positive. Went to Foodhall afterwards.
24(6) Need to tidy and clean today25(6) Thinking of painting more jars today26(6) Didn't get round to painting jars yesterday, ended up hanging out with Pikachu, improving my website and adding stuff to my Twitch channel. Going food shopping today and then may paint jars.27(6) Maybe today will be more productive
28(5) How to get out of bed?29(5) Slept a lot30(5) Induction today. Exhausted.31(5) Tired, need to hurry up and get ready for induction.
(4) Angry
    1(5) Got doctors this morning2(5) Low on money
(4) Feeling a bit helpless
3(6) Going to see friends today with Ryan ??
4(6) Going to see my family :)5(6) Helped mummy make a website for her new balloon business :)6(5) Worried about Pikachu7(5) Sleepy8(6) Going to see my best friend today :)9(6) Seeing my brother today ?10(6) Going back to my Ryan and Pikachu today ?
11(7) It's official! I'm going to be doing a Masters in Animation and Digital Effects at Sheffield Hallam University in September!!!!12(5) Sleepy. Full on week at work this week... 39 hours, I hope I can do it. First day, hope I can find my way there.
(6) Work went well today! Feeling really positive :) but exhausted!!!
13(5) Overslept, hope I'm not late..14(5) So tired15(5) Waking up at this time is hard16(5) Tired but glad I have a lie in tomorrow. Cba to make dinner. Got rained on on the way home from work, it chucked it down.17(6) Slept well! Actually enjoying my job and the people I'm working with, it's good to feel like I fit in again and everyone is so lovely. I am feeling so positive about it and I hope that doesn't change!
18(7) Day off! Woo! Need to run some errands.
(5) Everyone and everything is annoying me today
19(5) Sleepy20(9) Had an amazing evening! Work was boring but when I came out Ryan was there with his new car (he's been dying to get one for ages) and we drove to the Peak District and went for a walk and then ended21No Reasons22(7) Day off with Ryan ??23(6) Doing a stall today to sell artwork, bit scared...24(6) Need to clean and tidy then going to spend some time with Pikachu and maybe do some art
25(5) Feeling full of allergies26(4) Feel awful but I know I have to go to work today27(6) Feeling a bit better ??28(6) Chilling after work29No Reasons30(6) Got work later
      1(5) Sleepy af
2(6) Work til 33(6) Work, was hoping to have the day off but shouldn't complain4No Reasons5(4) My wisdom teeth keep causing me so much pain :(
(3) Woke up so many times last night because of the pain
6(7) Despite the tooth pain, enjoyed the day with a bbq and a water gun fight and having fun with family and friends :)
(5) Not sure whether or not to call in sick for work
7(5) Been to the dentist, they've prescribed me antibiotics, said it's probably going to happen again while my wisdom teeth are still growing (yay). Have work today, it's still hurting but hoping it will8(6) Glad to have 2 days off to get some stuff done
9(6) Tooth is getting better. Hoping to do something productive today.10(5) Don't feel like going to work today. Had to deal with drunk Ryan last night - not fun.11No Reasons12(5) Sleepy13(6) Glad to have the day off14(7) Got really into this drawing and didn't want to stop, feeling pretty good about it.15(6) Work and then going for a picnic with Ryan
16(5) Too sleepy17(6) Had a really great time last night at Church Temple of Fun and seeing the Incredibles 2. Glad to have the day off today but annoyed with Ryan's parents for not giving me some notice that the18(6) Hoping to have a productive morning before work19(5) Can't be bothered with work today20No Reasons21No Reasons22(6) Day off! Yay
(7) Enjoyed a lovely meal at Satay Yo! Beer
23(5) Alarm kept making this annoying bleep sound last night and it was keeping me awake so I asked Ryan to help me stop it, then his dad comes down complaining. I'm like I can't sleep and I've got work in
(8) I've been shortlisted for DepicT! Omg yay!
24No Reasons25(5) Maybe shouldn't have drunk that much last night ?26(5) Cba with work today27(6) Spent my day off relaxing and not worrying about doing anything productive for once28(6) Glad I got to lay in today. Work later.29(5) Too sleepy
30(5) Long shift at work today, hope it goes quick.31(5) Too sleepy for work ?
(5) Too sleepy for work ?
(5) Too sleepy for work ?
(4) I want to crawl into a hole and never come out
(2) How easy it would be to just end it