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  102 days
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  6 followers
January
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February
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March
MTWTFSS
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April
MTWTFSS
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May
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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June
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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July
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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August
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(2) When will the screaming end on its own and not with the help of valium
(7) A simple conversation can be all it takes
6(6) Meh.... My consistent mood atm when it isn't dipping
7(5) Meh.8(3) I just want to scream and cry and punch things
(6) Feeling calmer through meditation
9(6) Shit morning led to a calmer afternoon with smiles
(7) Therapy is a godsend
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12(5) Meh.... Excited to go on holiday, nervous to fly, happy to have spoken to her and found more hope, sad that we are still not together. Life is hard sometimes
(3) When a seven year old asks you what happened to your relationship and you can't answer and then a 5 year old chimes in to tell you that your ex was good. How do you deal with those emotions?
13(3) Going on holiday so I should be happy but all I am is aware that she isn't here to share this with or at least come home to. I could cry
14(3) On holiday loving being here but I still can't actually cheer myself up15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(5) Tomorrow she takes all of her stuff out of the database. This is it. It's officially over. I just have to get through this low time18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(2) She moved her stuff out yesterday and I wouldn't hug her or anything. I told her she hurt me. I was cold. Now I feel terrible and I just want to sleep for a month20(2) Feel angry that I have been left to deal with the flat when I didn't choose this situation in the first place
(1) I feel like I could throw a brick through her fucking window. Why has she left me like this
(4) When will I be able to calm myself down without drugs?
(5) The calm after the storm... Thank God for friends and family
21(4) I wish this could all be over... Instead I just live in this permanent state of hoping she'll come back
(4) It's hard every day. It's hard when other people aren't convinced she will come back. They don't know her it's unfair for them to fill my head with doubts. I need to get other people's thoughts out
22(3) Woken up with the weight of the world on my shoulders
(3) Crippling fear at the thought of her never coming back...
(2) I'm so scared. I love her too much
(4) Tears and numbness
23(5) Work thankfully helps to even out my moods these days. But I still can't manage to get myself properly on an up
(5) Work is a good distraction but I still feel utterly lost when it springs back in my head and I feel so scared of going home
(5) Any tips for lifting moods?
(1) My therapist got her dates wrong so I had to come home and cried the whole hour journey
24(4) Numb from crying yesterday but there is a growing sensation of sadness within me
(3) Being made to have the radio on at my desk every day is really making it hard to not feel sad and reminded
25(3) Lump in my throat all day just holding it together but the second I'm on my way home I just cry. It's so tiring26(6) A day of walking in the countryside with good friends was exactly what I needed to finally boost me into the green. Even if only just
(3) And back down again ?
27(3) I miss her
(1) I have been crying all day...
(5) Thank God for good books... And this site and the support it provides. Such small interactions can really make a huge difference
28(1) Absolutely crap start to a day. Wake up... Crying within an hour and now I have to go spend the day with my parents
(7) A bank holiday day to a museum to finally lift my spirits. The first green day in a long time
29(5)
(4) I feel frustrated even after yoga
30(4) Feeling sad and impatient
(3) Someone is interested in the flat but it is making me feel really sad
31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
September
MTWTFSS
    1(5) 2(4) On holiday visiting family and I want to cry
(2) 4 year old nephew asked today don't you belong at home with your girlfriend.... Kids are the sweetest but sometimes their innocence really hurts ?
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
4(3) Woke up sad
(6)
5(5) Numb
(4) Fear and sadness
6(3) Bad dreams
(1) I want to curl up in a ball under my desk
(6) I don't have to lose everything... Thank God for therapists
7(2) Cannot stop crying8(4) Holding it together for company but screaming on the inside. I'm tired of feeling like this9(4) Waking up and just knowing I'm going to cry today10(5) Running on empty really in regards to emotions. I have no energy to feel anything right now
(1) Tears tears tears
11(6) A happy day12(5) Somewhere in the middle today. I need to try and lift my spirits as I did yesterday. It was my first time green day in weeks and it felt so good13(2) I feel panicked and lonely
(6) Love a good therapy revelation to give me clarity on why I am where I am
(6) Any pandas have any help or suggestions on dealing with a very depressed partner (technically ex)?
14(6) Woke up in a good mood. Maybe my situation isn't as I first saw it. It's good to get a different perspective15(3) Feeling unsupported16(4) Nervous
(1) Lonely and in pain
17(5) Weird feeling day but not necessarily down
(3) Lonely. Nighttime is the worst time of day
18(1) Not felt this bad in weeks. I feel helpless and isolated19(5) Trying hard to stay strong today
(4) Worried I will dip again when I get home tonight
(6) Full of fear and uncertainty but for once I have a smile on my face and that's a bug thing
20(4) Trying to fight the dip in mood and need to analyse my current situation
(7) New moon new sense of calm
21(7) Found a forum, depression fallout, which has helped boost my spirits massively. I still feel crap but I no longer feel alone and this has given me new strength
(5) Feel the evening dip coming but determined to not let it take me so hard again
22(5)
(7) A nice evening with a good friend is one of the most mood boosting things to give you new strength to continue tackling the long road ahead
23(6) Feeling stronger
(6) Time with a friend is time well spent
24(4) Not well and wishing I wasn't alone dealing with it
(3)
(6) Lovely family afternoon, you don't get to pick your family but I got some good ones nearby
25(5) Meh day, keeping busy but feeling sad and drained26No Reasons27(5) Just holding my shit together this week. Other peoples actions can be so damaging
(2) Pure fear has filled my heart
28(1) Feel helpless and deserted by the one person I truly love
(6) New found strength to continue on this path I have chosen
29(3) Sad30(6) Much happier now than I have been all week
October
MTWTFSS
      1(2) Good moods can only last so long. I feel very very lonely
2(5) Probably going to cry when I get home
(2) I cried on the train ffs
3(4) Mornings are so tough
(5) This morning hurt like many others but not quite as much and that is an achievement
(6) Trying not to get my hopes up too much but feeling positive
4(6) Wary of the things that have raised my mood but allowing myself to embrace it just a little bit
(5) So much confusion
5(5) Nervous and uncertain6(3) Lonely and pining
(6) Driving myself crazy with hope!
7(5) Impatient8(3) Freaking out and feeling helpless
(6) And we're back up to that positive mood with a sheer cliff drop on one side if things go tits up. My mind literally can't switch off!
9(2) 10(5) Struggling to stay positive and am mostly filled with anxiety and fear11(4)
(6) Thank God for my weekly therapy boost
12(4) Trying so hard not to dip13(1) Managed to get dumped twice by the same person in 4 months14(1) I know it will get better but that doesn't make right now feel OK.15(3) How do you move on is the real question now
(3)
16(2) Couldn't go to work
(6) Good friends can remedy most pains for a while
17(4) The pain has been dulled by good friends.... But fuck my life is literally from my nightmares right now18(2) I fucking hate the mornings
(6) Spirits lifted by good friends. I just wish I could wake up in this mood
19(2)
(2) An awful day
(1) Just the worst day full of pain and crippling fear. I wish this all would end
20(2) Numb
(5) I feel like I am surpressing a lot
21(3)
(4) Trying to focus my energy into my mental health project. When you can't help the one you love you try to help the world instead ??
22(1) Fuck the mornings and fuck my brain for not allowing me to sleep through them
(0)
23(3) Don't think I'm capable of moving on till she gets therapy
(0) Had to leave work. I need to see a doctor
24(3) Up down up down
(1) Bailed on for a boy by my friend so now I'm all alone again. The worst part about d is that no one else's lives stop
25(3) Mornings hurt
(3) Numb numb numb
(5) Home is where the parents are and a little bit of calm
26(4)
(2) I don't know how anyone gets past this feeling of deep loss after being left by your partner who you thought was forever
(5) Trying to stay positive and think about the good things in my future and the new opportunities open to me. Course I never saw a relationship as a road block anyway unlike my ex
27(5) Keeping myself busy with sewing and thinking of possible future plans
(4) Dipping as the evening goes on and I am reminded of what has happened
28(3) Awoke from a horrible nightmare about everything...29(2) Nightmares
30(4) I hate the bad dreams!
(3) Fucking doctors receptionists... It's like they don't know that they are working with people who have feelings and are probably feeling fragile
(6) Future is looking bright
(6) Future is looking bright
31(6) Happier days are on the rise. Just wish the sudden shocks would stop
November
MTWTFSS
  1(6) Feeling much more myself. I have found new motivation and a new distraction which is so much bigger than all of the hurt that has been caused2(2) Going out this evening dredged up a lot of sadness and frustration3No Reasons4(4) Never quite OK5(4) Dull yet constant pain
6(3) Can't seem to feel positive this morning7(2) Terrible nightmares and my first appointment today without her by my side
(4) Uneasy. I need positive movement in my life quickly
8(5) Feeling much better today9(5) Breezing on a not good but not bad mood10No Reasons11No Reasons12No Reasons
13(7) I had an amazing and inspiring weekend in Paris and I feel so ready to take on what the future has in store for me14(4) Ups and downs15(4) I fucking hate mornings. They are just here to catch your brain off guard and remind you of all the things that make you unhappy
(4) Commuting is when I can't seem to switch off the negative thoughts. I could be having an amazing day but the second I'm stood alone on that train suddenly that's it. The whole day can be ruined
16(3) Haunted by thoughts of dying17No Reasons18(4) I feel quite lonely today
(4) Couldn't convince anyone to spend time with me today so I feel very very lonely. I just want to go to sleep so the day will be over. I hate weekends
19(3) Really really missing her today... I need to stay strong because I am running a serious risk of texting her which I know is a terrible idea... I could cry
(2) Can't stop crying. Even walked round the supermarket in floods of tears
20(5) Walking a tightrope this week21(2) Feeling awful
(5) Lovely evening catching up with old friends. Reminding me that some parts of the old me aren't so bad
22No Reasons23No Reasons24(7) Feel surrounded by love and affection
(7) In so much of a better place today. I am surrounded by love and can see the negative effect my ex had on my spirits
25No Reasons26(5) Mostly just OK....
27No Reasons28No Reasons29(7) Just had my last therapy session after 6 months of therapy and I feel tearful but in a good way. It's been a rough few months but it feels good to consciously choose to discontinue30(7) An amazing day with amazing friends at work
(9) I've been working on a pattern for a dress for a week now and I finally got it right and I'm so proud of myself!