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January
MTWTFSS
1(4) I'm back. I don't think I've used this app since about 2016 but I lose access to my other mood tracker in four months and this is a good place to share. Feeling anxious about the new year
(4) I'm going to have to start walking to work in a minute. Haven't been in months and it's my only shift over the entire Christmas break. It's normally okay but sometimes I end up feeling stupid
(4) Only got a few minutes before I need to clock in. I'm not sure why I'm so worried
(5) On my break at work. It's an early break but the shift is going well and it's going quickly. Just got to last until 22:30 and hope they don't let me go late
(5) Had a fairly good day at work. Felt a bit ignored and annoyed at times but mostly had nice conversations with people. Work mostly went by quickly. Feeling a bit of pressure to do something today
2(4) It's nearly 3am. I didn't go to bed as early as planned but I guess I need to stop expecting my sleep schedule to be fixed overnight. I hope I can be productive tomorrow. Quite a lot of deadlines soon
(4) I couldn't sleep after work last night. I slept until late morning but then just lay there for hours. I wish my family would realise it's an issue I can't help rather than just nagging me and joking
(4) I just realised that going for a meal tonight will mean I'm stuck listening to my family chew. There's nothing I can do except to hope for a situation that won't cause me to react badly to it
(4) Should probably shower and get dressed but I have no motivation. I'm not getting the motivation I normally get in January. Everything seems kind of pointless. Nothing has ever really changed.
(4) I'm finally ready to go downstairs. I know I'll probably be moaned at by my parents. I can't seem to do anything without feeling like they'd judge me. I think things would be easier if I didn't care.
3(4) Still not got into a good sleep schedule, but I'm in bed earlier than last night. Not going to put too much pressure on myself to be productive tomorrow. Might just look at deadlines and start plans
(4) Starting to feel pretty down. I keep thinking about what my uncle said on NYE. I can't be a part of the community I had on Twitter without wondering if he's watching me. I get so confused with family.
(4) I feel like it would be a good idea to write stuff down before things build up. Maybe when I wake up. For now I'll just try to read until I fall asleep.
(4) As usual, it's the afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas. I guess I have plenty of time to get something done but I barely even have the motivation to dig out my laptop.
(5) At least I'm up and dressed before it went dark today.
(4) Starting to get just a little bit bothered by the sound of my family eating.
(6) Made it through tea. Having a relaxing time reading but still worried about deadlines.
(4) Feeling a bit down. Th
4(4) A guy I only just started talking to on Tinder wants to add me on Snapchat. They always seem to suddenly become weird as soon as I add them on Snapchat though. I already have one guy I might delete.
(2) I'm not sure why I'm suddenly feeling so low. I just can't stop thinking enough to get to sleep. I feel uncared for and keep remembering the past.
(3) My ear has started to ache and itch. Drops seemed to be helping but forgot them this time.
(3) Now my ear is better but the rest of my body itches. I'm probably just coming down with a cold again. I'm tired now and I'm not too sure why I can't sleep.
(4) Feeling like I'm setting myself up for failure. Deadlines are still a fair amount of time away but I don't know how hard I'll find the assignments once I get into them.
(4) I was fairly relaxed until people started eating around me. I keep trying to leave the room without causing offence.
(2) I feel like no-one cares. Being at home with family makes me feel trapped sometimes. Everythi
5(4) Wondering if I'm getting too obsessed with this calorie counter. I went over a bit but at least I'm still in the green.
(5) I'm not sure there's even any point in being productive until the holiday is over. Maybe it's best that I had some time off and didn't force myself to work all the time. I doubt it'll just be me.
(4) Mum has only just let me know that I won't be able to take my passport back to uni. Would have been nice to let me know sooner that I'd have no ID, it'd have been even better to help get a license.
(4) Little things are worrying me.
(2) I'm not even sure. Just feeling low and worried. Very aware of things I haven't done or achieved. Wondering if I have depression. Maybe I'll be able to see a doctor soon.
(4) Just realised my average mood has gone down. At least I know that feature works. I'm really hungry. Hopefully chewing noises won't bother me too much at tea time. Salad is too crunchy to eat quietly.
(5) Change of plan for tea. Having burger and chips instead.
6(2) Confused. I feel fairly happy but also keep thinking of ways to die.
(1) Just keep feeling lower and lower. There's so much on my mind.
(5) Just okay. Wish I new the cause of these mood changes. Once I settle back into uni and get some work done I think getting checked by a doctor should be my next goal.
(4) Quite calm now but urges to self-harm came back tonight for no apparent reason. I've never got relief from hurting myself so I don't understand why I get them. I have some ideas though.
(4) Today is my last full day at home before I go back to university.
(1) Went for a walk with mum. Asked why we didn't get my license when I was 17 and she snapped that I didn't remind her. I'm sure I did. I'll never be on the same level as people my own age.
(1) Mum just informed me we could apply for a license online. Great, but that's not the point.
(3) Today I cried for the first time since the new year started.
(4) Think it's nearly tea time. Hope the sounds don't set me off. It'll
7(4) Feeling fairly relaxed now that I'm downstairs on my own. Tonight is the last night I'll sleep in my bed at home before I go back to uni. I'm not sure whether I'm glad or upset. Need a good talk.
(5) My headache is back. Going back to uni today.
(4) Sometimes I get the feeling my mum prefers to walk the dog without me. I don't really mind. It's less of an opportunity to argue and I never really know how to talk to her about important things.
(5) Not really sure what's going on with my emotions today. I can easily distract myself by playing games or watching TV but when I stop I feel a bit low again.
(3) Feeling nervous
(5) Back at uni and about to start unpacking. I'm sure I'll settle in again soon. I think I'll relax after unpacking and get up early tomorrow to get a start on some tasks. Worried about judgement.
(5) Put all the deadlines for this month on my calendar and I have about a week between each one. Hoping it'll be enough.
(5) I haven't unpacked everything yet but I t
8(5) Not really tired but should probably try to sleep. I need to get used to sleeping less and in a noisier environment.
(2) Just made a list of worries so I can work on them when I wake up. Worried about not getting enough sleep. Anxious and disappointed in myself
(6) Not in my usual schedule but feeling fairly good.
(6) Been a bit anxious today but things are working out well so far and I'm pretty motivated.
(6) Had an early finish. About to get something to eat. Been a bit anxious but just have to keep my mind in the present.
(5) Talking to a friend about the assignment. I set up a timer but got stressed and worked through my break. Everyone seems to be struggling.
(5) Tired. Think I fell asleep for a little while. Going to work for a bit. A stranger is messaging me on Twitter and I'm hoping it doesn't get weird.
9(6) Feeling relaxed after swimming. Late shower and then hopefully I'll be able to sleep.
(5) Bit tired. Kind of rushed breakfast. A little anxious but hoping today will be productive.
(6) Lecture is interesting so far. I think I might just have enough time to get something done today.
(6) Feeling fairly relaxed. I'll feel better once I get some stuff done.
(4) Feeling a little bit low all of a sudden.
(3) Anxious. Need to have some decent work to show at appointments with tutors.
(4) Feeling a bit anxious and irritated but at least I've got things written an printed ready for draft readings.
(4) The draft readings went well. I just need to get a good start on another piece of work. Hopefully I'll be able to stop thinking about the past.
(5) I think I got a good amount of work done. Eating now. I need to stop planning the week and try to relax before I sleep.
(6) Relaxing and watching YouTube.
10(5) Feeling a bit tired. Feeling kind of low and weird. It's like I want something but nothing really appeals to me. I had a small drink but maybe it's affecting me.
(5) Had a lie in. I'm still kind of tired. Not sure if I'm calm or numb. Going to relax a bit and then do some work. Got some events I'm not sure I want to go to but I'll feel bad if I don't.
(4) I don't know why I'm so tired going to have lunch and then maybe go to that event. Still need to do work though.
(4) Feeling conflicted. Annoyed that the information for an event was given out last minute. I'm probably going to be late anyway so I don't know if it's worth going.
(5) Sports event wasn't too bad. Doing some work now. I'm not sure whether or not I want to go out later. Hoping to get this done.
(5) Done the work that's due in tomorrow. Still not sure about going out tonight. Might go with C.U.P.S rather then swimming if possible, I have more fun with them and could leave early if needed.
(5) Just got back from the Psy
11(5) Feeling okay. Still needs submit that work.
(5) Just submitted my assignment. I think I did fairly well, considering I don't some others have even finished it. Allergies have flared up but getting better after taking piriton. Hoping for good grade
(4) Feeling a little bit anxious. That task is due at noon. I might check it again but I probably don't have a lot of time to change anything. It's already submitted anyway.
(3) Keep getting that anxious feeling in my chest. Distracting myself with YouTube. I'm sure it will pass soon now it's after the deadline.
(5) Sitting down to eat. Really hungry so I might feel better afterwards.
(6) Finally found a new place to live for next year. Relaxing before swimming. Not sure if I could manage a meal but I'm having some snacks.
(4) Starting to feel low. Worried that old thoughts and thinking patterns will come back.
(3) Feeling kind of sick. Just picking at food now. I feel bad because I'll probably just end up leaving it and being wastef
12(5) I keep switching between being relaxed and being confused about how I feel and what would make me feel better.
(2) Not really sure what's going on with me. I suddenly feel quite low and keep fantasising about suicide even though there isn't really anything on my mind.
(5) Eating breakfast. Managed to get quite a few hours of sleep but I kept waking up so I'm still tired. Might just relax when I get back to my room instead of going straight to work. People eating loud.
(5) I'm going to try to get some more sleep. Hopefully when I wake up I'll be able to motivate myself enough to do something productive.
(5) Slept most the day. Eating now. Going to volunteering next and then I've got a list of stuff to do when I get back.
(5) Volunteering took longer than expected but I enjoyed it more this time. I got mistaken for one of the kids ?. Going to work through my to-do list soon.
(4) Mostly okay. I messaged someone to ask a question and it has made me slightly nervous for some reason.<
13(2) Suicidal thoughts. Sitting in the toilet cying. If I hadn't paid to get in I would have left already. They either leave me in my own or force me to dance. Can't even drink. Can't keep acting happy.
(1) Just got back into my room. Not even sure what's wrong but I keep thinking about suicide and considered self-harming again. I keep crying. I need to try to calm down and sleep.
(5) Slightly worried about work that's due in and had a stressful morning. Dud volunteer hedge laying so now I'm pretty tired.
(5) Should probably get some work done and call my mum to apologise for our argument earlier. I think it might be better to do both tomorrow though. I'm going to relax for a bit.
14(5) Tired. Just a bit worried because I've got to get work done today but I should be fine.
(4) Got a good amount of work done today but worried that I haven't met the right criteria for the essay.
15(4) Feeling kind of weird. Mostly okay but I keep thinking about suicide even though I don't feel that bad. I'm wondering if I actually have depression. When I have more time I'll try to see a doctor.
(4) I've been using this health app for a week to make healthier choices now I'm at uni again and I'm apparently worse than before.
(4) Not a great start to the day. Had an alarm issue. On time but morning is more rushed and less productive than I hoped.
(4) Too tired to listen properly to a lecture that was kind of boring. My mind wandered to negative thoughts a bit but not too bad. Hoping the next two lectures will be more interesting.
(4) Laste lecture went quicker because I sat with a friend. Mostly okay but keep feeling a little bit low.
(4) Got some extra free time and ended up having a nap. Keeping up with deadlines but little tasks are piling up and it's stressing me out a little. Everything is starting to feel boring and pointless.
(5) Got some things done. Talked to mum. Went sw
16(5) Had a pretty good morning other than stomach ache waking me up for a while. Submitted my work and had breakfast. Sleepy again now but I have stuff to do soon.
(5) Thinking about how everyone describes my ex as emotionally abusive/manipulative when I tell them what happened. Makes me feel less guilty and more glad it ended.
(5) Lectures and lab classes are done for the day. About to go get some lunch. Then I'll do my laundry and go shopping.
(5) No-matter how hungry I am I almost never finish my meals from the canteen. I usually end up feeling slightly sick.
(4) Meant to have a quick break but ended up sleeping for an hour. I'm going to try to get some stuff done now but I'm losing my motivation.
(5) Got up and started doing laundry. I probably needed that nap and I feel fine now.
(4) Had some brief suicidal thoughts but feel sort of okay now. I'm not sure why some things seem to set me off.
(4) Really up and down today. I'm finally getting to know this guy a little better but I
17(5) Got the morning off but slept through most of it. Ate breakfast. Had stomach problems again today. I wonder if I've got some sort of bug. Going to do a bit of work then uni societies later.
(5) Didn't do any work but that's okay. I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with something. Stomach keeps aching and I can't finish any meals. Might meet that guy next week but it makes me nervous.
(6) Feeling fairly positive after swimming. Had a few negative thoughts but managed to change them and focus on what I had to do.
(6) Talking about social inequalities always brings me down a little but it's important to talk about it. Eating now.
(4) Probably going to miss out on the swimming club social tonight because I still don't have access to my ID. Might go down to the SU bar for a little while tonight so I don't feel like I've missed out.
(4) Decided not to go out tonight. This is the first social I've missed this year but it won't be the last. Hate breaking streaks like that. Called mum and am going
18(5) Finally getting sleepy. Sometimes I don't want to sleep because I feel like I waste my time by sleeping too much.
(5) Switched off all my alarms while half asleep. Really need to move my phone further away from my bed at night. Made it on time for breakfast though.
(5) Went back to sleep after breakfast. Having lunch now. Might go for a walk around town after. I can check out that water polo game later and then be productive.
(5) Just came back from a walk to town. Walked for just over an hour which probably did my some good. Things felt weird and hazy sometimes but mostly I felt calm. I feel a bit sick and have a headache
(5) Kind of tired. Keep feeling slightly worried. The canteen doesn't open until 5:30 and I'm supposed to watch that water polo game at 6. I don't have to be there so I'm going to make sure I eat first.
(4) Trying to eat but I keep feeling sick
(5) Watching the water polo game. Feeling mostly okay.
(5) Back in my room. Game ended with an injury but I think he
19(2) Starting to think about suicide. Probably shouldn't be listening to really sad songs right now but I guess it's a way of expressing myself.
(1) Sent the group chat another message. It's a question so hopefully someone will reply to this one eventually.
(5) I'm okay now. Just tired. I'm going to try to get some sleep and hope I feel better tomorrow.
(5) My friends messaged me back. I had a pretty good sleep. Hoping today's lecture and volunteering will be interesting/fun.
(4) Suddenly feeling just a little irritable. Even when they reply I get the feeling nothing I say matters that much to anyone. I need to shake this feeling.
(6) Actually having a fairly good chat
(5) Excited about this new dating app my friend recommended.
(4) Sometimes I don't like my friends being so judgy about the guys I date. Telling me I have strange tastes and then not telling me what they mean.
(4) Not sure meeting this guy is a good idea but he wants to arrange something for next week. Feeling wor
20(5) Going to try to get plenty of sleep
(5) Up and ready for the gym.
(5) Forgot about the open day. Hope people don't walk into my room and think it's a mess.
(3) Feeling on edge for some reason
(5) Relaxing. Going to do some work on my essay tomorrow. I should probably try to go to sleep early. I've started to feel really low in the middle of the night these past couple of days.
21(4) Suddenly feeling kind of numb and negative. I think messaging a lot of people at once is draining me but I don't like ignoring people.
(5) Tired. Feeling a little overwhelmed so I'm keeping my phone on do not disturb. I'm going to try to get some work done. It's nice to listen to the rain and it's quiet enough to work without music.
(4) This day is going too fast. I have a busy day tomorrow and I still haven't managed to tell that guy I don't really want to meet next week.
(4) Feeling sick. I'll have to eat soon though. My moods are low and I don't really feel like I have any way of getting help soon.
(2) Starting to think about suicide. My life seems to be full of work. I don't know why I'm always either mentally low or in physical pain. Nobody takes a genuine interest in me unless I'm always positive
(5) Feeling okay now. Just watched the second episode of Big Cats. I need to update my to-do list.
(1) The suicidal thoughts are back. My throat hurts and I feel overwhelmed. Thing
22(1) I just want to sleep. I don't even know why I'm feeling so low.
(4) Tired. Woke up later than I really wanted to. I'll have to do my work later and make up for it.
(4) Kind of nervous. This lecture is kind of boring and hard to focus on.
(5) Fairly relaxed. Unsure about what to do about the guy who wants to meet this week
23(2) I always feel so low at this time of night. I shouldn't even be awake. I need to get up early and finish my work so it can be submitted.
(3) I'm pretty anxious because the guy I've been talking to wants to meet today and I don't know if it's a good idea. I'm feeling worried rather than excited. No-one thinks it's a good idea for us to meet
(2) I never have any luck with relationships. The only people who are genuinely interested in me turn out to be terrible. People say I'm 'too nice' but I just feel weak. I think I might just end up alone.
(4) I have so many conversations with going with people I know things won't go anywhere with that it's overwhelming
24(5) Should be working but I'm just so tired. I'll relax for a little bit.
(1) Feeling guilty. I keep wanting to self-harm as punishment.
25(5) Slept most the day. Going to do some work in a bit. Can't bring myself to reply to all the people who keep messaging me
(4) Feeling a bit stressed. Feel like I could use a good conversation with someone.
26(4) I'm not really sure what's wrong. It's probably a combination of things. I should probably get some sleep.
(6) Back home for the weekend
27(6) Looking forward to going out with friends tonight28(5) Just got back to uni. Had a good weekend but need to get back to work
29(5) Had a busy day. Feeling a bit overwhelmed but I think I can handle everything. Should probably try to get an early night tonight.30(4) There's just too much going on. I made the mistake of starting too many conversations at once31(5) Feeling a bit conflicted about some things but mostly I'm okay.
February
MTWTFSS
   1(5) Feeling okay now I'm back in my room2(5) Feeling kind of confused about what I want3(5) I feel like there's no point in talking to most of the people I've met through online dating, most are creepy or hard to talk to but I feel bad if I don't reply. I could really use some advice4(4) Trying to be honest makes me nervous but it's for the best
(5) Feeling okay. Slept for most of the day though. I still need to register with a doctor in this area.
5(5) Tired but I've had a pretty good day.6(5) I'm confused about what I want. I'm lonely but I also feel like I'm talking to too many people at once right now7(4) This assignment is pretty stressful and I'm trying to get it done before I go out tonight8(5) I'm confused about what I want9(4) Still feeling conflicted. Just came back from a great date but feel confused and horrible.10(2) I don't know what I want. I just want to talk to someone.
(2) I can't release these feelings even though I keep trying to talk to people about them
11(5) Volunteering was freezing and I was standing around a lot, but at least I did something. Confused about whether I want a relationship.
12(5) Feeling confused and frustrated13(5) Still kind of confused. I'm going to try writing some stuff out to see if things become clearer.14(5) Still confused. I had a nice date with a really nice guy but I don't seem to feel the same way about him that he feels about me.15(5) I met the guy I've been talking to online for the first time and it was a good date, but that just complicates things.16(5) Feeling a bit ill but mostly okay17(5) Had a pretty good day, but felt a bit low at times. Watching other people achieve things makes me feel like a failure.18(5) Just waiting for my parents to come and pick me up
19(5) Going out tonight should be fun20(2) I've been feeling kind of low after last night21(4) I feel like a bad person22(4) I'm still feeling confused. I think I just need to either write down my thoughts or talk them through with someone23(5) Still confused24(2) I don't feel like anyone really cares.
(4) Feeling better but not great
25(5) Going back to uni today
26(5) It's been a tiring day27(4) It hasn't been the best start to the day. I couldn't get myself out of bed until 10 minutes before my lecture. I'm still here on time though.28(5) Not feeling too well. I'm hoping that having something to eat will help. I'm meant to be going out tonight.
(3) I'm sick of never being able to find things because I don't have time to organise anything. I'm supposed to go out soon and I'm just sat here crying.
(2) I've decided to stay in. It's probably best for my physical and mental health but I still feel bad about it. I couldn't find the right house and it all just feels too much right now.
March
MTWTFSS
   1(5) Slept for most of the day and now I'm wide awake2(4) Feeling kind of disappointed in my self for some things. I need to stop worrying about all the stuff I have to do.
(5) It's been a pretty good day but some things have still upset me for reasons I'm not sure about
3(2) I'm feeling really bad about myself again
(5) Feeling better. I'm going to try to get some sleep.
(2) Had a good day at first but now I'm pretty much alone with my thoughts I feel bad and am having thoughts about suicide again.
4(5) Spent most of the day in bed
5(2) Still awake. I'll probably be too tired to focus in lectures.
(5) Feel like a failure after last week so I'm hoping I can get things back on track.
(5) Hoping to get some more sleep tonight
6(4) Got plenty of sleep but still struggled to get myself out of bed
(5) Hoping to actually get something done today
(4) Hopefully I can have a nap later and still get something done today
(5) I'm hoping tomorrow will be more productive
7(2) Feeling bad about myself. I can't stop thinking about the things that held me back.
(5) Not sure whether to go out or not
8(5) Hoping for a good night
(2) Spending a night listening to musicians was not a good idea. I should have known I'd just end up feeling insecure. I feel like no-one cares, but I can't tell anyone.
9(4) Feeling better but still worried about all the stuff I have to do and my lack of motivation.
(5) Today was pretty relaxed and I got some stuff done but I'm still not really happy with how much I can motivate myself to do each day.
10(2) I can't sleep and I don't know why I'm so unhappy. I feel like I need to talk to someone but I either don't have the courage or feel like they won't care.
(7) Had a great time at the zoo with the guy I've been dating. I'm still worried and confused about some things but I didn't think about them too much.
11(4) Stayed in bed most of the day and am still struggling with motivation. Hoping for a fresh start tomorrow.
12(5) I've got some important stuff done and have planned my day which should improve my motivation. I'm hoping that this won't be ruined by a lack of sleep.
(4) Slept in so I didn't tidy as much as I wanted to but I'm hoping that my sleep schedule will improve now at least.
(4) I'm not too tired in lectures but I'm kind of stressed because my to-do list never seems to end.
(6) Lectures were interesting and I'm not too tired. I'm going to relax a bit before trying to get some work done.
(3) About to make an appointment with my new doctor's practice for the first time and I'm nervous.
(5) Called the doctor and got an appointment for tomorrow. Glad I did it but also kind of mad at myself for not doing it sooner.
13(4) Not a good start to the day. Had a bad dream about my dad being horrible to me and then woke up ten minutes before I had to be in class.
(4) Just want to go back to bed.
(5) One more class before I can go home. Might have a quick nap before my doctor's appointment.
(5) Not looking forward to doing paired presentation but at least the first one doesn't get graded.
(6) About to go to the doctor. Feeling hopeful. Kind of want to go for a walk.
(3) I've been told that there is no diagnostic tool used for depression. Instead of feeling closer to an answer I've been asked to call a mental health service that is so busy I'll have to pester them.
(6) Had a nice walk other than stepping on a nail. Going to have a nap.
14(6) Feeling pretty relaxed. Struggling to get back to sleep after falling asleep in the afternoon but I don't have to be up too early tomorrow.
(4) Kind of upset with myself for sleeping in. I'm not feeling too well so I don't feel like going out later. It seems that swimming is still on so I should get going in a bit.
(4) I haven't been very well today so I'm going to stay in, but as usual I feel bad about missing the social.
(5) Going to try to get some sleep and hope that tomorrow will actually be productive.
15(2) Wide awake and having suicidal thoughts. Worried about getting nothing done tomorrow. I have enough trouble sleeping without the people in my accommodation being incredibly loud all the time.
(5) Practically had to bribe myself to get out of bed but I'm hoping to get back on track soon.
(6) Had a good time at the play.
16(4) In one of those moods where I'm restless and don't know what I want.
(6) Feeling pretty relaxed, other than worries about uni work. Gonna go for a walk and get some healthy snacks after volunteering and then maybe get some work done or try to get an early night.
(6) Feeling pretty relaxed, other than worries about uni work. Gonna go for a walk and get some healthy snacks after volunteering and then maybe get some work done or try to get an early night.
(6) Got some stuff done and then had a video chat with my family.
(2) I don't know why talking in my friends group chat makes me feel so low. I guess it's a combination of feeling uncared for and not knowing how to reach out.
(2) I'm not really in the mood to talk to people, but there are things I wish I could express.
17(4) Another unproductive day18(5) Feeling okay. Ended up sleeping for most of the day and getting nothing done, but did something. Hoping tomorrow will be better.
19(5) This week is going to be a bit stressful but I'm sure I'll get through it.
(6) Feeling better now that I've got some actual work done. I'm going to relax and get some sleep and carry on with it tomorrow.
20(6) Did some work today and now I'm going to go watch a film.21(6) Got plenty of work done today. Not looking forward to all the packing and sorting I've got to do tomorrow, but I'm sure having a good meal cooked for me will be a nice way to end the day.22(2) I always end up feeling bad at night, even if I've had a good day. Maybe it's because it's harder to distract myself.
(5) Had a good meal but he asked about a relationship and I felt awkward explaining to him that I'm not really sure about things right now.
23(2) I'm not really sure how to explain my problems, or who to turn to for advice.
(3) Managed to stay positive all day and now I'm in tears over practically nothing
(7) Had a mostly good day and now I'm back home.
24(6) Gonna sleep in tonight and then try to gradually get up earlier. I really need to sort out my sleep schedule.
(7) Enjoyed being off. Wore my new tights so I could wear a dress for the first time in a while. Walked the dog with mum.
25(4) Suddenly not feeling so positive. I feel conflicted about a lot of things and want to reach out. I talk to lots of people but it's all small talk and I never really feel more of a connection.
(4) Can't bring myself to get out of bed.
(3) Feeling frustrated with the fact that everyone in my life seems to be completely oblivious to how low I am.
(2) I really need to call that mental health center I was referred to.
(2) Haven't had anything to eat or drink all day but at least I have a cup of tea now. Mum finally realized something is wrong but left when I told her I don't really know what's up with me.
(4) Starting to feel better but not great. I don't really feel like talking to anyone unless they're giving me advice. Kind of want to go for a walk.
26(5) Hoping work tomorrow is okay. Feeling irritable so I'm thinking of turning my phone off for a while each day to just focus on myself. You can't pour from an empty cup.27(6) Not a bad day at work. Some frustrating things but I'm finally getting more experience using the headsets.
(2) Work wasn't too bad but it was still frustrating and I walked home having suicidal thoughts about how I'd hate to still be working there years from now.
(6) Feeling better now I'm showered and relaxed. Gave my brother his birthday present.
(2) My parents arguing with the pizza delivery guy reminded me of the woman who yelled at me today over something that went wrong even though it was out of my control.
(1) Feeling angry at my family being so ignorant to what I'm feeling all the time.
28(4) Already dreading work tomorrow. I was asked to do a shift today but I said I couldn't. I wish people would stop talking about work. Tempted to find a new job but it'll be hard to find suitable work.
(1) Feeling irritable and upset. Was supposed to have a day to myself but people keep bringing up things I don't want to talk about, or giving me more stuff to do.
29(4) Woke up with quite a lot of stuff on my mind.
(6) Not feeling too bad. Not exactly looking forward to work, but I'm going to try my best to just power through the day and turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
30(4) Feeling a bit numb and restless today31(6) Looking forward to my birthday tomorrow. About to start work.
April
MTWTFSS
      1(9) Had a great 19th birthday
2(7) Been a bit ill but had a relaxing day3(5) Been ill and I've hurt my neck somehow so I can't get comfortable. Got a late shift tomorrow.4(5) Not exactly happy about going into work with a sore neck while I'm not feeling well5(4) Had an alright day but my mood has suddenly dipped.
(4) I've hardly done anything today. Work again tomorrow. I still haven't called that mental health service and I feel like no-one really cares anyway.
6(5) Work was okay but it dragged a bit7(9) Stayed up watching cartoons until I got sleepy
(5) Feel like the day has been wasted and I'm not looking forward to working tomorrow
8(5) Waiting for work to start. I'm feeling calm and I'm hoping it'll be a good day.
(5) Work is okay. Might try to get some uni stuff done later
(2) Feeling really down again
(5) Not feeling too bad
9(5) Not looking forward to work. It's a really short shift but they tend to drag. I've made it my goal to call the mental health service tomorrow but I don't know if I will.
(5) Work is dragging. I'm on my break already. Maybe I'll get moved and get to do something different.
(6) Feeling sleepy. Might actually get into a normal sleep schedule.
10(2) Feeling restless and bored. I hope I don't start to feel completely numb.
(1) I just want to be left alone. It's so tiring having so many pointless conversations when nobody cares when I talk about how bad I feel.
11(4) I think I'm just tired. I don't want to wake up and start work tomorrow but at least I get a lie in.
(3) I added the mental health service to my contacts so I could call them any time. I'm scared though. I'll try to call them before work today.
(3) Tried to call the mental health service but all their lines are busy. Plus, the opening hours listed on their website are incorrect.
(2) Not looking forward to work. I've already cut myself trying to put my badge on. Not a good start to the day.
(2) About to start work. I want to get some stuff done tomorrow but I never have any motivation. Now I'm crying in the toilet.
(4) Feeling better but I broke down at work and I'm anxious about all the uni stuff I still need to do.
(4) Had an okay day in the end but now brother is getting to me by eating loudly. I don't know why certain noises put me so on edge.
12(2) I'm not sure why I'm feeling so low
(2) There's so much pressure to do stuff that I have no motivation to do anything. It just keeps piling on. I'm going to make a list later and work through it.
(1) I don't see the point anymore. Life just feels like a load of work with no fun. I'm going to have a shower and see if I can calm myself down before getting some work done.
(1) Sitting here crying. It doesn't seem like anyone cares about me that much unless I'm always being that really positive person who spends all their time working and helping others.
(4) Feeling a little better now I'm dressed. I'm going to work out a plan later and get to work over the next few days.
(4) Feeling better but still worried
(5) I'm hoping to get more prepared soon.
13(4) Got up later than I wanted to but I still have some time to plan.
(4) I've listed the things I need to do but the stress is actually causing me to be less motivated.
(2) About to get ready for work. Everything feels so pointless. I'm too stressed to enjoy my free time but too overwhelmed to do anything.
(1) I'm ready for work but I'm probably just going to spend my time stressing. Might as well do some work when I get back because I'll probably be wide awake anyway.
(5) About to start work. Trying to stay positive.
(6) Work has been kind of fun and some things are being sorted.
(5) Got trained on some new things at work. It gave me a distraction and I think I'm getting some motivation back.
14(5) Feeling okay. Hoping to actually get motivated soon.15(6) Feeling more motivated now I'm back at uni
(7) Did some work and spent some time writing down my thoughts. Feeling calm and kind of sleepy.
16(5) My mood dipped for a while. I'm not too sure how I feel. I'm going to try to sleep. Tomorrow will be the busiest day I've had in a while and I don't want to be tired.
(4) Hardly slept. Woke up a bit later than I wanted because of an alarm issue. Need to get dressed to meet my friend for breakfast.
(6) It's been good to talk to friends.
(5) Feeling ill
(5) Feeling ill
(7) Having a pretty good day other than a bit of stress and not feeling too well. Just finished putting together a presentation and am about to eat before swimming.
(6) Feeling kind of sleepy and my stomach hurts but at least I've managed to stay motivated. Hopefully I'll enjoy the shorter swimming session tonight.
(3) Spent all day trying to be positive only to end up stressing myself out and crying over something that didn't really matter.
(6) Feeling more positive again after swimming. I'm concerned about the changes in my mood. I'm going to do some self-care and then try to have an early night.
17(2) Feel like giving up. No-matter what I do, everything goes wrong. All the plug sockets in my room are broken, and my powerpack still hasn't turned up despite me asking about it multiple times.
(1) I'm crying with anger. I want someone to help and my mum wouldn't answer the phone even if she was awake right now.
(1) Too stressed too sleep because I might not have access to my phone at all tomorrow and my alarm might not go off. I'm an hour away from home and my parents aren't answering.
(3) I finally found my power pack. Feel bad for waking my mum up. I'm less panicked but still upset. Wish I had someone here to comfort me.
(2) It's been a bad start to the day.
(4) I'm just tired. Hopefully I'll actually be able to get an early night this time.
(5) Feeling a little calmer.
(2) Some things are really getting too me. The more I try to fit everything in, the more I miss other stuff that people complain about.
(4) I keep switching between being overwhelmed and thinking I can get
18(3) Submitted my assignment but feel like it wasn't that good
(9) I've had a good day. I spent time having fun with people and being active. I've been pretty productive. Some things still seem to be getting to each other though.
19(9) Having a day to myself. Going to go for a walk soon so it doesn't feel like I've wasted the day being inside all the time.
(4) My mood dipped again. I had a mostly good day other than the creepy guy in the park and nearly getting locked in a shop.
(6) Feeling better. Hoping I'll be able to sleep soon and have a good day tomorrow.
20(10) Sitting by the river relaxing
(9) Feeling relaxed. I just wish the people I live with would be a little bit more considerate.
21(10) Spent the day in the sun22(9) Had a good night but I have a feeling I'll regret it when I wake up
(2) Things took an unexpected turn last night and I don't know who I can talk to about what happened.
(4) Fell asleep early and just woke up. I might try to contact a helpline or something about what happened last night.
23(3) I'm more nervous than happy about making things official. I feel trapped and last night is still bothering me.
(2) I'm feeling confused and empty and I really need to talk this through with someone.
(4) Feeling worried. I'm going to try to talk to my friend about what happened.
(4) Feeling a bit restless. I don't feel like there is anyone I can really talk to.
24(5) Got up just before class started
(5) I can't wait for classes to be over so I can go to sleep.
(4) Too tired and hungry to concentrate properly. I need to get started on that presentation but my partner never even shows up to class.
(6) Feeling more relaxed
(4) Wondering if it's normal to always feel trapped and restless in relationships.
25(6) Had a busy day of meetings and spending time with people so I'm going to have some time alone to concentrate on self-care.26(6) Had a good, social day but need to start being more productive.27(6) A bit stressed but it should be a good day28(5) It was a bit of a mixed night. Felt low at first and then better again. Stressful later because someone stole some money from my friend. I should get my stuff back from theirs tomorrow.
(5) Feeling a little bit on edge but better after a shower. Now I'm going to relax before bed.
(4) Came back from a nice volunteering session but now I'm getting a bit irritated because my boyfriend constantly asks me to do things when I'm already busy and I know that the film night he's trying to
(5) I had fun and I'm looking forward to tonight. We're going to watch a film and order a pizza. Sometimes I feel like I embarrass myself in front of his friends but we all get on.
29(5) Just got back. It was pretty fun but I'm not sure how I feel yet and I'm happy to be able to spend some time alone. I'm hoping that I'll be able to have tomorrow to myself.
(4) Slept on and off all day
(5) Feels good to get out of my room. When I go back I'll bin the rest of that pizza because I can't finish it without feeling sick. I need to tidy my room in general. Documentary night tonight.
(6) That was fun. Gonna finish taking out this rubbish and then go to for a walk. Craving some fruit and something to drink.
(5) Got some drinks and some grapes. Just going to relax for a while.
30(5) Not feeling too bad considering I hardly slept last night.
(6) Went for a walk after lectures and I'm feeling a bit more prepared for revision.
(6) Swimming was pretty good. Now I'm going to do some self-care before bed and hopefully get plenty of sleep before tomorrow.
May
MTWTFSS
 1(4) Need to make arrangements for later.
(5) Sorted some things out and sitting down to eat. After I'll get ready for the social later.
2(9) Drunk and happy, but some things are still worrying me.
(4) Today was okay but not very productive. I think I'm going to start feeling low again soon. Maybe I should go to sleep soon and try to get up early tomorrow.
3(4) I'm in that kind of mood where I don't know what I want or why I'm feeling so low. I should probably either talk it out or do some writing.
(5) Didn't do much for most of the day but this afternoon was tiring. I really need to clean my room.
4(2) I'm not sure why I'm even in a relationship that doesn't make me happy. I wish I'd gone to get something to eat instead of hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends I don't really know.5(7) Did some volunteer work and had a long nap. I'm going to get something to eat and buy some extra snacks but I've hardly eaten today and I don't want to be up all night hungry.6(5) Today was okay but I'm feeling unmotivated and tomorrow will be pretty busy for me.
7(6) At a BBQ. Hopefully I'll be prepared enough for the presentation tomorrow.8(5) It's come to that time on a Tuesday when I tell myself I'll be productive but end up having a nap. The plug sockets in my room have broken again but I'm sure maintenance will deal with it soon.
(5) Went on a walk to think. Sitting by the river with a hot chocolate. I'm worried about a few things and I wish I had someone I could talk to.
9(5) Slept on and off all day. Have only eaten a couple of snacks. I'm going out to eat now because I slept through the canteen meal times. I'll probably be wide awake by the time I get back.10(7) Had a nice date at the aquarium and then we had food and went to the arcade. Feeling a bit sick now though. Might nap with my new surfed shark before I finish my pizza ?11(6) Finished my lecture and have a free afternoon. Craving a walk and some fruit. I keep wanting fresh orange juice all the time for some reason.
(6) I'm going to see if starting a bullet journal will help me to stay organised and reduce stress. I don't think this notebook would be the best to use for lectures anyway so I'll just get a new one.
12(5) I slept on and off all afternoon since the charity walk. I haven't eaten today. I'm going to go get something to eat now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.13(4) Feeling anxious but unmotivated. Hardly got anything done. Feeling angry because I keep getting trapped in relationships with people I hardly feel any emotional connection to.
14(2) I'm in one of those moods where everything makes me unhappy and I don't know how to get out of it.
(4) Feeling disappointed in myself
(6) It's been a pretty good day but I'm hoping tomorrow will be more productive
15(7) I've been pretty productive so far today. I'm going to go for a walk and then hopefully I'll be able to concentrate better when I get back.
(6) I got a pretty good amount of work done but I've reached the point where I can't concentrate any more even with frequent breaks. For some reason I've started to feel guilty about certain things.
(4) Feeling awkward and guilty.
(2) I'm in one of those moods where everything makes me sad
16(5) It's been a relaxing day but I need to finish my essay for tomorrow.17(5) I'm making good progress on my work. I just wish my sleep schedule wasn't so messed up.
(6) Finally reached the word count on my essay. I'll check and submit it when I wake up.
(6) Just got back from swimming after sleeping most of the day. Feeling kind of sleepy again so maybe I'll be able to get up early tomorrow and be productive.
18(7) I've had a pretty good day19(5) Slept a lot today. I'm not sure why I'm always so tired.20(3) Got nothing done today because I was tired and didn't feel well so now I have even more done tomorrow.
21(3) My exams start today and I'm really nervous.
(6) Things have been up and down today but now I'm just tired.
22(5) Tired but don't feel like I've done enough.23(7) Got through another exam and had a nice date.24(7) I had a day off25(2) I'm starting to feel really low again and I'm not really sure why. I've been pretty feeling pretty good recently so I don't know why I'm feeling low again.
(7) Today has been a pretty good day but I don't have much energy
(2) Feeling low again. I feel tired a lot. I've spent pretty much all my waking time today helping others and now I just feel drained. I either feel numb or everything makes me sad.
26(5) Couldn't sleep at night and done nothing all day. Hoping tonight will be fun. I wish I had more free time.27(4) Went out last night and slept all day. I might have said some things I didn't really want to but at least my boyfriend is starting to realise that I'm not comfortable with a lot of stuff.
28(2) I feel low and empty and weird. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I'll go for a walk after I've met my friend for coffee. Maybe it'll help clear my head.
(7) Couldn't stay up all night. Ended up sleeping for about an hour. Got up early to meet a friend for coffee. Ended up going for breakfast and looking around the shops. Feeling relaxed.
(6) Feeling slightly guilty for not doing anything, but I still have time. I've just been so tired recently.
29(2) Feeling numb again
(6) Hoping I'll be more productive before tomorrows exam
30(9) My alarm just went off and I haven't slept. Calm, but kind of worried about my exam later. I'm going to go for a walk and maybe get some breakfast. Maybe it will help with my sleep schedule.
(9) It's hard to stop all negative thoughts, but I've been changing them for positive ones. This is the best I've felt in a while. Sitting by the river. About to go get something to eat.
(9) Just got back. Breakfast was good. There are things I need to do but I'm starting to get tired. Gonna have a break and set an alarm so I have time for last minute revision.
(6) Starting to feel nervous. I'm hoping I'll actually be able to sleep tonight. I'm sure everything will be fine. Still feeling fairly positive.
(4) About to head to my exam
(5) I'm just tired. I wonder if I can have a quick nap and not ruin my sleep schedule again
(5) I fell asleep and just woke up
31(5) Went to sleep early but still overslept. Feeling foggy. I need a walk and something to eat. Getting nervous for the exam tomorrow. I feel completely unprepared.
(6) Still need to do more revision
June
MTWTFSS
    1(5) I'm not sure how to feel. Had another Sleepless night. Not feeling tired but probably will later. Feeling unprepared for the next couple of days. Going to start my bullet journal up again.
(3) Suddenly feel like I want to cry
(5) Had a nap in the middle of revision. Feeling a little more relaxed and prepared but still really worried. I have other things to sort out afterwards.
(6) Feeling better now my exams are over. There are still some things I need to do but I can either handle them in plenty of time or they don't really matter.
(7) I'll be able to relax properly for a while now
(9) Feeling the most relaxed I have in a while. Sleepy but ready for the meal. I hope it isn't too loud here tonight.
(4) The meal out was okay but now I'm really tired and I don't know if I want to take part in all the events that are going on and it's stressing me out. Need someone to talk things through with.
2(2) I wish I knew why I'm so sad all the time
(4) I probably just need some sleep. I'm going to just do whatever I want with the day when I wake up. People are arguing outside my door.
(5) Slept pretty much all day. I guess I'm all caught up on sleep now. I'm kind of sad about missing out on that trip but I guess it doesn't really matter.
(5) Did some self-care but I'm still feeling kind of numb
3(6) Starting to feel better. I'm going to start to use my free time to achieve some goals. Maybe I'd feel less low and foggy if I did more than just sleep all day.
(5) I'm not really sure how I feel. I keep going between sad and happy. Mostly I just feel numb. I want to feel normal again but I'm not sure what I need to do.
(5) I've found that my mood is fairly stable if I keep myself distracted. Currently watching YouTube videos. Will try to get out tomorrow. It would be good to walk around town and eat more than once a day
(6) Feeling like things could get better. Sitting outside in town. I think I'll go back home as soon as I can.
(7) I've been pretty relaxed today.
4(2) Got a couple of messages that made me feel really low. I'm probably just being too sensitive
(5) Felt really upset so I slept all day.
5(2) I can't get back to sleep. I feel really low. I'm starving because I slept through most of the day but now it's too late to go and get some food. Maybe I need a distraction.
(7) Today has been good so far. Hopefully I'll be able to do something more productive tomorrow. Gonna try and get an early night tonight.
(5) Tired. Went to sleep really early again. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to sleep fairly soon
6(6) Actually woke up at a normal time today
(6) Today has been relaxing but not very productive. I've been a little irritable but mostly okay
7(6) My alarm didn't go off because my phone fell on the floor in the night and turned off. I was probably going to sleep in anyway. Glad maintenance didn't come in here. I heard them knock nearby.
(9) Had a pretty good day. Some annoying things happened, but I've managed to stay positive.
8(9) Actually woke up just before my alarm and didn't go back to sleep. I really need to clean my room and start packing. I'll probably feel better once that's done. I'm hoping to go home soon.
(5) I'm mostly pretty relaxed, but I feel like my mood is starting to dip
(4) Not quite sure while I'm sad. After volunteering I might go walk around town. Sitting by the river is always nice.
(6) Feeling pretty calm. Volunteering was pretty fun and my headache is easing now I'm home and I've had a drink. I think I'm starting to get a sore throat.
(5) This headache is making me a little irritable. I don't have any painkillers. People in other rooms and in the corridor are being pretty loud.
9(6) Woke up with pretty bad cramps and a slight headache. Sleep was interrupted quite a lot but I think I got plenty. Feeling a bit more motivated so I'll try to be productive if I'm feeling okay later.
(4) Watching this tournament was fun at first but now I just want to go home. I need to eat and have some time to myself. I think I'm coming down with something. I don't know when the tournament finishes.
(3) Feeling irritated and ill. I just want to go home. I always feel like I'm ruining other people's fun when I'm not happy.
(5) Finally home. Decided not to go out drinking. I think the heat made my headache worse because now I'm a little dizzy. Lying in bed trying to cool myself down. Gonna just drink plenty of water.
(5) Feeling a little better. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I'll be well enough to go to the shops to get some painkillers and stuff.
10(6) Feeling a bit better. Woke up several times in the night and slept from late afternoon until nearly midday. Accidentally accepted a message request from a stranger on Instagram. Don't want to talk.
(5) I think I might finally feel well enough to go out to get some food and some painkillers
(3) On my way back from the shop. Couldn't find any painkillers. Sitting on a bench to rest. I just want to be back in my room. At least I have food and drinks.
(6) Glad to be back in my room. Feeling a little better. Will try to go into town again tomorrow when the main supermarket is open. Then I'll be able to get some painkillers.
(6) Glad to be back in my room. Feeling a little better. Will try to go into town again tomorrow when the main supermarket is open. Then I'll be able to get some painkillers.
(6) Feels good to have eaten something.
11(6) Feeling better but not completely well
(5) Mostly okay. Still feeling kind of ill and starting to feel pretty down.
(4) Feeling irritated. Most of the people talking to me don't really seem to care about me. If I didn't feel so bad about blocking or deleting people, I'd probably clear out my contacts on every app.
(5) I kind of wish I'd done more than just stay in my room all day, but it was probably for the best.
12(4) Starting to feel down. Later today I'm going to try to get out of my room, and tomorrow I'll try to finally get some cleaning and sorting done. That should make me feel a little better.
(4) My chest is sore and I woke up this morning with a rash. I'm worried that maybe something in my room in making me sick. I'm try to give it a good sort out but I haven't had much energy recently.
(6) Getting sleepy. Will get back to cleaning and stuff tomorrow.
13(3) Irritable. The rash is still there and it hurts to take deep breaths. At least I'm outside. Being inside feels too stuffy. Sitting in my usual spot by the river. I should probably get this checked out
(6) Keeping myself busy looking up cryptids. Will probably call the doctor tomorrow and cancel the night out.
14(5) I'm going to try to call the doctor tomorrow but I keep wondering if it's worth it.15(9) Had a phone appointment with a doctor. Got a prescription for painkillers, which seem to be working. Also booked some physiotherapy to help with my chest.16(9) Had a good day but these tablets are making me really tired.17(9) Had a sleepy day
18(6) Woke up and took some painkillers. Did a bit of cleaning. Hopefully I'll make the most of the day now I'm up pretty early.
(3) Feeling more upset than I probably should that the cleaner said I need to keep my room tidier. I didn't bother to explain that I was part way through packing when I ended up having to stay longer.
(5) Feeling okay
19(5) I should probably leave the house and go and eat soon.
(6) Sitting in my usual spot by the river. Feeling a little foggy. Not sure what's causing it but there could be a few things.
(6) Back home. Still feeling a little foggy, but at least I'm clean and comfortable. I should probably try to eat more. One meal a day is not enough, and sometimes I just snack.
20(5) Got woken up by the fire alarm and it keeps going off
(5) Not sure what's wrong with the alarm. I just hope it doesn't go off randomly when I'm trying to sleep.
(6) Tired. Hoping tomorrow will be more productive. Starting to feel a little sick though.
21(6) It hasn't been a very productive day. I'm just so tired all the time.22(6) Had a fun day, even after throwing up at about 3am. Feeling sick from traveling. I've hardly eaten recently. I probably won't drink tonight even if I do go out.
(2) Went to hang out with bf and his friends but didn't drink. It was kind of fun at first but now I'm feeling really low. Maybe it's because I'm still sick and I've hardly eaten.
23(2) Feeling really low. Slept on and off all day. Everything makes me feel annoyed or guilty. Should probably delete Tumblr again, at least for a little while.
(4) Should probably go and do something. Maybe I wouldn't be so unhappy if I went out in the sun for a while.
(7) Gave into my cravings and bought some pot noodles. For some reason, I've never made one while I'm not at home. Maybe it'll make me less homesick.
(5) I know it's not true, but sometimes I think that I'll be stuck in this low mood forever. I should really try and get in touch with that mental health place.
24No Reasons
25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons