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  118 days
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  29 followers
January
MTWTFSS
1(4) I'm back. I don't think I've used this app since about 2016 but I lose access to my other mood tracker in four months and this is a good place to share. Feeling anxious about the new year
(4) I'm going to have to start walking to work in a minute. Haven't been in months and it's my only shift over the entire Christmas break. It's normally okay but sometimes I end up feeling stupid
(4) Only got a few minutes before I need to clock in. I'm not sure why I'm so worried
(5) On my break at work. It's an early break but the shift is going well and it's going quickly. Just got to last until 22:30 and hope they don't let me go late
(5) Had a fairly good day at work. Felt a bit ignored and annoyed at times but mostly had nice conversations with people. Work mostly went by quickly. Feeling a bit of pressure to do something today
2(4) It's nearly 3am. I didn't go to bed as early as planned but I guess I need to stop expecting my sleep schedule to be fixed overnight. I hope I can be productive tomorrow. Quite a lot of deadlines soon
(4) I couldn't sleep after work last night. I slept until late morning but then just lay there for hours. I wish my family would realise it's an issue I can't help rather than just nagging me and joking
(4) I just realised that going for a meal tonight will mean I'm stuck listening to my family chew. There's nothing I can do except to hope for a situation that won't cause me to react badly to it
(4) Should probably shower and get dressed but I have no motivation. I'm not getting the motivation I normally get in January. Everything seems kind of pointless. Nothing has ever really changed.
(4) I'm finally ready to go downstairs. I know I'll probably be moaned at by my parents. I can't seem to do anything without feeling like they'd judge me. I think things would be easier if I didn't care.
3(4) Still not got into a good sleep schedule, but I'm in bed earlier than last night. Not going to put too much pressure on myself to be productive tomorrow. Might just look at deadlines and start plans
(4) Starting to feel pretty down. I keep thinking about what my uncle said on NYE. I can't be a part of the community I had on Twitter without wondering if he's watching me. I get so confused with family.
(4) I feel like it would be a good idea to write stuff down before things build up. Maybe when I wake up. For now I'll just try to read until I fall asleep.
(4) As usual, it's the afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas. I guess I have plenty of time to get something done but I barely even have the motivation to dig out my laptop.
(5) At least I'm up and dressed before it went dark today.
(4) Starting to get just a little bit bothered by the sound of my family eating.
(6) Made it through tea. Having a relaxing time reading but still worried about deadlines.
(4) Feeling a bit down. Th
4(4) A guy I only just started talking to on Tinder wants to add me on Snapchat. They always seem to suddenly become weird as soon as I add them on Snapchat though. I already have one guy I might delete.
(2) I'm not sure why I'm suddenly feeling so low. I just can't stop thinking enough to get to sleep. I feel uncared for and keep remembering the past.
(3) My ear has started to ache and itch. Drops seemed to be helping but forgot them this time.
(3) Now my ear is better but the rest of my body itches. I'm probably just coming down with a cold again. I'm tired now and I'm not too sure why I can't sleep.
(4) Feeling like I'm setting myself up for failure. Deadlines are still a fair amount of time away but I don't know how hard I'll find the assignments once I get into them.
(4) I was fairly relaxed until people started eating around me. I keep trying to leave the room without causing offence.
(2) I feel like no-one cares. Being at home with family makes me feel trapped sometimes. Everythi
5(4) Wondering if I'm getting too obsessed with this calorie counter. I went over a bit but at least I'm still in the green.
(5) I'm not sure there's even any point in being productive until the holiday is over. Maybe it's best that I had some time off and didn't force myself to work all the time. I doubt it'll just be me.
(4) Mum has only just let me know that I won't be able to take my passport back to uni. Would have been nice to let me know sooner that I'd have no ID, it'd have been even better to help get a license.
(4) Little things are worrying me.
(2) I'm not even sure. Just feeling low and worried. Very aware of things I haven't done or achieved. Wondering if I have depression. Maybe I'll be able to see a doctor soon.
(4) Just realised my average mood has gone down. At least I know that feature works. I'm really hungry. Hopefully chewing noises won't bother me too much at tea time. Salad is too crunchy to eat quietly.
(5) Change of plan for tea. Having burger and chips instead.
6(2) Confused. I feel fairly happy but also keep thinking of ways to die.
(1) Just keep feeling lower and lower. There's so much on my mind.
(5) Just okay. Wish I new the cause of these mood changes. Once I settle back into uni and get some work done I think getting checked by a doctor should be my next goal.
(4) Quite calm now but urges to self-harm came back tonight for no apparent reason. I've never got relief from hurting myself so I don't understand why I get them. I have some ideas though.
(4) Today is my last full day at home before I go back to university.
(1) Went for a walk with mum. Asked why we didn't get my license when I was 17 and she snapped that I didn't remind her. I'm sure I did. I'll never be on the same level as people my own age.
(1) Mum just informed me we could apply for a license online. Great, but that's not the point.
(3) Today I cried for the first time since the new year started.
(4) Think it's nearly tea time. Hope the sounds don't set me off. It'll
7(4) Feeling fairly relaxed now that I'm downstairs on my own. Tonight is the last night I'll sleep in my bed at home before I go back to uni. I'm not sure whether I'm glad or upset. Need a good talk.
(5) My headache is back. Going back to uni today.
(4) Sometimes I get the feeling my mum prefers to walk the dog without me. I don't really mind. It's less of an opportunity to argue and I never really know how to talk to her about important things.
(5) Not really sure what's going on with my emotions today. I can easily distract myself by playing games or watching TV but when I stop I feel a bit low again.
(3) Feeling nervous
(5) Back at uni and about to start unpacking. I'm sure I'll settle in again soon. I think I'll relax after unpacking and get up early tomorrow to get a start on some tasks. Worried about judgement.
(5) Put all the deadlines for this month on my calendar and I have about a week between each one. Hoping it'll be enough.
(5) I haven't unpacked everything yet but I t
8(5) Not really tired but should probably try to sleep. I need to get used to sleeping less and in a noisier environment.
(2) Just made a list of worries so I can work on them when I wake up. Worried about not getting enough sleep. Anxious and disappointed in myself
(6) Not in my usual schedule but feeling fairly good.
(6) Been a bit anxious today but things are working out well so far and I'm pretty motivated.
(6) Had an early finish. About to get something to eat. Been a bit anxious but just have to keep my mind in the present.
(5) Talking to a friend about the assignment. I set up a timer but got stressed and worked through my break. Everyone seems to be struggling.
(5) Tired. Think I fell asleep for a little while. Going to work for a bit. A stranger is messaging me on Twitter and I'm hoping it doesn't get weird.
9(6) Feeling relaxed after swimming. Late shower and then hopefully I'll be able to sleep.
(5) Bit tired. Kind of rushed breakfast. A little anxious but hoping today will be productive.
(6) Lecture is interesting so far. I think I might just have enough time to get something done today.
(6) Feeling fairly relaxed. I'll feel better once I get some stuff done.
(4) Feeling a little bit low all of a sudden.
(3) Anxious. Need to have some decent work to show at appointments with tutors.
(4) Feeling a bit anxious and irritated but at least I've got things written an printed ready for draft readings.
(4) The draft readings went well. I just need to get a good start on another piece of work. Hopefully I'll be able to stop thinking about the past.
(5) I think I got a good amount of work done. Eating now. I need to stop planning the week and try to relax before I sleep.
(6) Relaxing and watching YouTube.
10(5) Feeling a bit tired. Feeling kind of low and weird. It's like I want something but nothing really appeals to me. I had a small drink but maybe it's affecting me.
(5) Had a lie in. I'm still kind of tired. Not sure if I'm calm or numb. Going to relax a bit and then do some work. Got some events I'm not sure I want to go to but I'll feel bad if I don't.
(4) I don't know why I'm so tired going to have lunch and then maybe go to that event. Still need to do work though.
(4) Feeling conflicted. Annoyed that the information for an event was given out last minute. I'm probably going to be late anyway so I don't know if it's worth going.
(5) Sports event wasn't too bad. Doing some work now. I'm not sure whether or not I want to go out later. Hoping to get this done.
(5) Done the work that's due in tomorrow. Still not sure about going out tonight. Might go with C.U.P.S rather then swimming if possible, I have more fun with them and could leave early if needed.
(5) Just got back from the Psy
11(5) Feeling okay. Still needs submit that work.
(5) Just submitted my assignment. I think I did fairly well, considering I don't some others have even finished it. Allergies have flared up but getting better after taking piriton. Hoping for good grade
(4) Feeling a little bit anxious. That task is due at noon. I might check it again but I probably don't have a lot of time to change anything. It's already submitted anyway.
(3) Keep getting that anxious feeling in my chest. Distracting myself with YouTube. I'm sure it will pass soon now it's after the deadline.
(5) Sitting down to eat. Really hungry so I might feel better afterwards.
(6) Finally found a new place to live for next year. Relaxing before swimming. Not sure if I could manage a meal but I'm having some snacks.
(4) Starting to feel low. Worried that old thoughts and thinking patterns will come back.
(3) Feeling kind of sick. Just picking at food now. I feel bad because I'll probably just end up leaving it and being wastef
12(5) I keep switching between being relaxed and being confused about how I feel and what would make me feel better.
(2) Not really sure what's going on with me. I suddenly feel quite low and keep fantasising about suicide even though there isn't really anything on my mind.
(5) Eating breakfast. Managed to get quite a few hours of sleep but I kept waking up so I'm still tired. Might just relax when I get back to my room instead of going straight to work. People eating loud.
(5) I'm going to try to get some more sleep. Hopefully when I wake up I'll be able to motivate myself enough to do something productive.
(5) Slept most the day. Eating now. Going to volunteering next and then I've got a list of stuff to do when I get back.
(5) Volunteering took longer than expected but I enjoyed it more this time. I got mistaken for one of the kids ?. Going to work through my to-do list soon.
(4) Mostly okay. I messaged someone to ask a question and it has made me slightly nervous for some reason.<
13(2) Suicidal thoughts. Sitting in the toilet cying. If I hadn't paid to get in I would have left already. They either leave me in my own or force me to dance. Can't even drink. Can't keep acting happy.
(1) Just got back into my room. Not even sure what's wrong but I keep thinking about suicide and considered self-harming again. I keep crying. I need to try to calm down and sleep.
(5) Slightly worried about work that's due in and had a stressful morning. Dud volunteer hedge laying so now I'm pretty tired.
(5) Should probably get some work done and call my mum to apologise for our argument earlier. I think it might be better to do both tomorrow though. I'm going to relax for a bit.
14(5) Tired. Just a bit worried because I've got to get work done today but I should be fine.
(4) Got a good amount of work done today but worried that I haven't met the right criteria for the essay.
15(4) Feeling kind of weird. Mostly okay but I keep thinking about suicide even though I don't feel that bad. I'm wondering if I actually have depression. When I have more time I'll try to see a doctor.
(4) I've been using this health app for a week to make healthier choices now I'm at uni again and I'm apparently worse than before.
(4) Not a great start to the day. Had an alarm issue. On time but morning is more rushed and less productive than I hoped.
(4) Too tired to listen properly to a lecture that was kind of boring. My mind wandered to negative thoughts a bit but not too bad. Hoping the next two lectures will be more interesting.
(4) Laste lecture went quicker because I sat with a friend. Mostly okay but keep feeling a little bit low.
(4) Got some extra free time and ended up having a nap. Keeping up with deadlines but little tasks are piling up and it's stressing me out a little. Everything is starting to feel boring and pointless.
(5) Got some things done. Talked to mum. Went sw
16(5) Had a pretty good morning other than stomach ache waking me up for a while. Submitted my work and had breakfast. Sleepy again now but I have stuff to do soon.
(5) Thinking about how everyone describes my ex as emotionally abusive/manipulative when I tell them what happened. Makes me feel less guilty and more glad it ended.
(5) Lectures and lab classes are done for the day. About to go get some lunch. Then I'll do my laundry and go shopping.
(5) No-matter how hungry I am I almost never finish my meals from the canteen. I usually end up feeling slightly sick.
(4) Meant to have a quick break but ended up sleeping for an hour. I'm going to try to get some stuff done now but I'm losing my motivation.
(5) Got up and started doing laundry. I probably needed that nap and I feel fine now.
(4) Had some brief suicidal thoughts but feel sort of okay now. I'm not sure why some things seem to set me off.
(4) Really up and down today. I'm finally getting to know this guy a little better but I
17(5) Got the morning off but slept through most of it. Ate breakfast. Had stomach problems again today. I wonder if I've got some sort of bug. Going to do a bit of work then uni societies later.
(5) Didn't do any work but that's okay. I'm pretty sure I'm coming down with something. Stomach keeps aching and I can't finish any meals. Might meet that guy next week but it makes me nervous.
(6) Feeling fairly positive after swimming. Had a few negative thoughts but managed to change them and focus on what I had to do.
(6) Talking about social inequalities always brings me down a little but it's important to talk about it. Eating now.
(4) Probably going to miss out on the swimming club social tonight because I still don't have access to my ID. Might go down to the SU bar for a little while tonight so I don't feel like I've missed out.
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