MoodPanda: 2.9
 Days: 49
 Been hugged: 420
 Followers: 11
January
MTWTFSS
      1(2) 2017 freaks me out. Nothing's going to get any better. I don't really know why I'm still here.
(4) Don't know how I'm feeling. Finished all assignments so feeling at a loose end. Best friend and best guy friend spending time together tonight so can't message either of them. Hmm...
2(4) Feeling lost without anything to do. Also worried about dates clashing.
(3) Going incredibly downhill, quite quickly.
(2) I just want to be without this mental illness so that I can feel normal and good enough for my friends and not a burden to them.
3(2) I don't feel good enough to be friends with my best friends.
(2) It's so difficult not to be negative with all these horrible thoughts going on in my brain. I'm really trying, but I know I'm letting my best friend down.
4(4) Feeling a little bit better this morning.
(1) I was on the verge of a panic attack in front of my best friend and I feel so so guilty, absolutely horrific, I want to cut as a punishment, she's going to hate me, why can't I be brave and okay?!
5(2) My mood is so rubbish it's unbelievable, I've never been more scared my best friend hates me and now I have to fight this illness on my own.
(1) I'm incompatible with life.
(1) I completely messed up my teenage days and I regret it so much. I didn't do anything teenagers are supposed to do and I feel so uncool and so backward and left behind.
(1) So desperate to self harm.
6(1) CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE ALL THIS STOP PLEASE?!?!7(3) Mood is going downhill because alone. I hate it.8(3) Was doing so well even though it's a difficult day, but now I'm sad.
(0) My best friend's going to die I'm so scared she's going to die please don't let her die please
9(6) Group was shit, but I'm so proud of myself for tonight.10(6) New job is fantastic and just what I needed. Came along at exactly the right time.11No Reasons12No Reasons13(4) Bro's birthday. Was being brave. Done so well this week. But now my mood is declining.
(3) Kinda at a loss at what to do. Bit sad. Promised myself I wouldn't bother my best friend because she has mocks and also I don't want my issues to be the basis of our friendship. Struggling on my own.
(3) I don't know what I feel like anymoreeeee
(3) I hate myself so much for being such a negative presence in my unbiological little sister's life.
14(3) I'm 2 weeks clean and I feel good about that, but also feeling majorly guilty because best friend is also so proud but she shouldn't have to be proud for this reason!
(3) So hard to resist the urge to self harm but I managed it. Went for a run instead.
15(2) Feeling awful. Lovely night with the bestie but came home and it went downhill. Wanted to die. Feel like I've ruined my teenage years and so far behind everyone else. So upset.
16(2) Struggling to resist self harming.
(0) :'(
17(1) First day back at uni = anxiety overload. Also feeling shit because I've pushed my best friend away.18No Reasons19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons
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