4.9 avg
  121 days
  353 hugs
  10 followers
January
MTWTFSS
      1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(4) 4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
9(0) 10(9)
(5)
(5)
11(5) Got home from work
(5)
12(3) Feeling sad about being too critical a person
(6) Session went well so feeling good maybe a little too good
13(6)
(4) Fed up of worrying so just going with it
(2) Feeling down. Fed up of thinking about mental health. Seems overwhelming.
(4) Post intensive discussion
14(5)
(4) Feeling overwhelmed by worrying already
15(6) Nice weekend in portishead
16(3) Spend hours looking at flights. Stressed.
(4)
17(4) Didn't sleep well because of yesterday and the workshop today. Watching tv to chill18(5)
(6) Relaxing afternoon after wrk
19(4)
(6) Another week at work done
(5)
20(4) 21(4) Irritable
(4) Irritable
22(6) Ali James just left
23(5) Went to mind. Felt too critical again last night which caused me distress24(6)
(4)
(3)
(2)
25(3) Overwhelmed. Trying some distraction
(4)
(3)
(2) Feeling overwhelmed and finding it hard to move forward. Just let go.
26(4) Had a rubbish 3 days. Trying some distraction as I don't seem to be able to think my way out
(5) Distraction helping. Need to remember this for times of extreme distress
27(1)
(5) Just taking one small step at a time . Otherwise too much
(6)
28(2) Fed up of trying. Tried to resolve things as I went along and just got overwhelmed29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
February
MTWTFSS
  1(6) Good day at work2(6) 3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4(6) 5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7(4)
(4) Overwhelmed again. Sometimes the worrying just gets too much
8(3) Off work sick because of mental health. Tired of getting stuck in the same old loops. Hard. Trying to avoid getting stuck in obsessive thoughts.9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(4) Had two days off work. Just felt like giving up but trying again now11(7) Spent most of the day with LB. always seem better when I have company. Get myself into a muddle when alone12(6)
13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(7)
(5)
16(4) Depersonalisation after workshop. Overthinking17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(5) Mind busy. Overthinking
(5) Usual Ocd loop of feeling anxious and then trying to resolve it by repeating things to myself. Very pressured and militant.
20(4) Depersonalisation. Trying to just pamper myself instead of think way out21(5) Trying engaging in activities at difficult times to stop the obsessive cycle22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(5) Yoga then wwt25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5) Back at wrk. Moods still all over the place
March
MTWTFSS
  1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(4) Feeling negative3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6(4) Didn't go to mind as had Drs. Got overwhelmed as thoughts became obsessive. Couldn't cope so just because depressed and disengaged. Need to work on obsessiveness maybe distraction?
(6)
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(5) 9(6) Went into a depression again yesterday as got overwhelmed. Need to try to not get like that otherwise I stop trying to cope as it all seems too hard10(7) Behavioural activation as the way forward11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
13(7) 14(5) 15(6) Mum visiting. Holiday tomorrow. Feeling a bit high16(7) 17(7) Feeling unusually happy. Not sure why18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(7) Weekend w Ali n James
20(5) Bit of a funny one. Feeling out of sorts. Using distraction to avoid getting locked in my mind21(5) A strange one. This morning really spaced at work - maybe after feeling so out of sorts last night. Felt quite anxious. Then this afternoon felt better but later distressed again - maybe lack of focus22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(4) Depersonalisation due to stress. Obsessed too much about being bad. Try distraction and talking it through with someone24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(5) Got overwhelmed on fri. Felt self conscious and like everyone was looking at me. Sat morning hard but improved later when I stopped worrying
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5) Got overwhelmed and started feeling spaced. Did body scan and felt better. Anxiety is hard
(3) Feeling overwhelmed. Panicking a little . Going from solution to solution. Trying distraction
29(5) Session went well. Trying to conquer obsessions by only allowing myself to think something once rather than doubting. It's tough30(5) A couple of times depersonalisation has happened today. Annoying. Know it happens when things get tough31(8) Yesterday v hard. Too much time alone? Today almost had a melt down day n was going to do nothing. Forced myself to go to yoga and turned it around. Now feeling good. Unstable moods r hard
April
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(8) Lovely weekend and weather. Feeling happier than usual. Thanks goodness after thurs/ fri morning. Thought it was all going to be awful
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5(8) Feel happy. Mind a bit jumpy though
(7) Similar to yesterday. Feeling happy but mind jumpy and feel slightly unsettled
(5) Spent a lot of energy trying to counteract feeling hyper. Got overwhelmed so mood plummeted. In future go with moods and don't force them to be different? Don't be afraid of moods
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7(5) T slept in spare room. Mind busy at yoga obsessing. Felt better. Then mood plummeted after a beer.8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(6) Have other people had problems logging in. Wasn't able to login for days through Facebook. It was a pain as it's a bit of a lifeline for me :(
(6) Been up north. Generally ok but struggled with obsessions on weds which was hard. Kept repeating things to myself. Spoke to t which helped. Went to grandparents too which was a distraction
21(5) Hmm.... still find myself repeating things and obsessing too much as a way to cope. I then get overwhelmed and my mood drops. Need to be careful of getting into this loop. Going to see lb22(4) Emotions are confusing and difficult to manage. didcot a good distraction. Feeling distressed can be hard as my way of coping is to obsess which makes things worse. It's my learnt response.23(5) Managing obsessions can be difficult. Round and round and round
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(5) Have to remember to take things slowly. This morning I was thinking about increasing hours at work but I need to be realistic and not get carried away
(5) Need to be careful of becoming hyper aware of thoughts and then over focusing on what's going on in my mind. Need to be focused on activity
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(5) Not too much anxiety but an uncomfortable feeling of being spaced out. I can cope!28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
May
MTWTFSS
1(6) Nice few days. Struggled yesterday with obsessions. Spoke honestly to t which helped
(2) Was struggling w obsession about being bad. T told me he won't come to the wedding w me. Now don't know what to think. Fed up. Too hard
2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(5) Back at work. T saga ongoing. Can't live w him; can't live without him. Not really sure how to move forward. Maybe I should try talking.4(6) Finally talked it out thank goodness. Let's see if anything changes5(6) Mood a little too high. Tried controlling thoughts w mindfulness etc which was making me feel distressed. Then decided to just normalise everything that comes into my mind6(6) Struggling w difficult thoughts this morning and how to manage them. Being completely engaged w h this pm really helped7(5) Good day. Busy with f. Mood generally ok. Sat in garden and felt relaxed. Maybe I sat too long but 3 hours later struggling a bit. Knowing how much time I can safely spend alone is hard.
8(5) Difficult moods again. Trying not to obsess about them and not to take responsibility for others. If they have an issue it's there's and not mine !!
(4) Overwhelmed so just going for a focus on tv etc attitude to see if it passes. Fed up of overthinking and obsessing. Gets too much
9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10(4) Exhausted and spaced out after training course. Chilling out and letting it all go. Easy day tomorrow at work planned too11(6) Obsessing disappeared as quickly as it came. Work really helped. Mood went up and was high which was frightening but trying to lean not to b scared of thoughts or feelings
(4) Overwhelmed. Thinking about thinking gets too much. Obsessed w mental health. Need to not overdo it. Distraction important
12(5) Fed up of thinking about everything and thinking about thinking. Screw It all and see what happens13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15(6) Went to mind. Glad I went and spoke about intrusive thoughts. They were really kind. Going to try accepting and normalising all that comes into my mind to see what happens. Nothing to lose.16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18(4) Woke up wrestling with my thoughts . Felt bad about being critical. Trying to practice self compassion instead of beating myself up
(5) Have to lean to let go and not get stuck
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22(6) On the up again . Struggling with unstable moods. Going from severely depressed to excited in a few hours is hard. Trying not to get caught up in worrying about it or in controlling my mind23(5) Difficult listening to the news this morning. Avoided it all day since. Can't cope hearing it. Just too much ??24No Reasons25(4) A challenging day. Worry, worry, worry. Then I get frightened by it and try to surpress it to get rid of it. In the end I just feel overwhelmed and unable to cope. Hard. At least I managed to go 2 wrk
(4) Never know how I get from here to being ok again. Just seems to happen. So confusing
(4) Going to try to avoid going from strategy to strategy. Will be hard as it is a learnt behaviour but have to try. If feel distressed no point going on about solutions as makes ocd worse. Slowly
26No Reasons27No Reasons28(4) Why does my mind go on so much? Does my head in. All day today worry, worry, worry. Wish it would stop but it never does
29(4) Feeling fed up of all the worry. Trying smallest targets ever. May help to deal w the obsessiveness?
(4) Things feeling like they are too much. Just watching tv and avoiding getting involved in it all. Stupid ocd!
(3) Trying to use Joel s method. Whatever I think about I am going to obsess about so better just to carry on as best as I can. Otherwise it drives me mad
(7) Gone for depressed to here. No thinking effort. Just happened. Weird.
30(6) F visited which was a much needed distraction. Stopped me obsessing. Spoke to t and offloaded this morning which helped. Phew!31No Reasons
June
MTWTFSS
   1No Reasons2No Reasons3No Reasons4No Reasons
5No Reasons6(5) Trying to just accept my thoughts and feelings rather than trying to make them different7(6) First full day of work for 3 yrs. went well. A good distraction for me8(5) Hmmm.... struggled a bit with my thoughts. End up getting into a battle with them. Still working on not controlling them9(4) V tricky to let it all be as it is. Ended up getting caught up in it all. A work in progress.10No Reasons11No Reasons
12(5) Moods seem calmer now I'm trying to ride the waves. Emotional states seem to pass quicker . Phew ?
(5) This morning I struggled. Got stressed w myself and then started to panic. Still struggling to accept things as they are. After the distraction of gardening helped me forget all of that
13(5) Unstable moods still. Trying to ride the waves and not take them too seriously. Taking thoughts and feelings as having significant importance is what got me here in the first place14(5) Hmm....full day at work today and was hot. Struggled w feelings of depression. Listened to mindfulness med in the evening which helped. Pleased managed to cope w work though15(6) Up and down day. Trying to deal w things as they happen now. Felt spaced on after work. Wasn't sure if tiredness. Had a nap and felt better. Spoke to ty16No Reasons17No Reasons18(5) All a bit challenging. Woke up worrying. Spoke to t then more worry. Felt overwhelming. Just decided to go with it in the end as solving every problem seem too hard. Ride the stom. Avoiding repeating
19No Reasons20(4) Moods all over the place. Managed to ride the wave this morning at work and w feelings of anger. Intrusive thoughts challenging but doing the same w those too. Progress?21No Reasons22(7) Dropped off Mum. Completed another week of work. Feeling good23(6) Anxious this morning. Found reading paper absorbing at work. Feeling fairly good24No Reasons25(4) Feeling low post phead. Tried usual of mindfulness etc . Just going to go with it. Come what come may, time and hour run through the roughest day .
26No Reasons27(6) Yesterday went to mind . They all advised me to stop analysing and just to go with my moods. Have done that today and yesterday. Seems to be helping
(5) Being over sensitive again w regards to usual obsession. Just feel as I feel
28(6) Moods up and down. This acceptance is hard. Sometimes feel like I desperately want to resolve my emotions. I feel like I'm so negative and critical sometimes. Makes me feel like a bad person.29(5) Felt didn't have enough to do at wrk . Going to speak to j on tues. Over reacted when talking about food to ty. Don't want to seem ungrateful but want to eat differently30(3) Yoga hard. Volunteering hard. Then more financial worries. Going to give t financial control. Fed up of thinking about it
(5) Given ty responsibility for money. Let's see. Fed up of when things go on repeat in my head but still don't feel better. Exhausting. Go from worry to worry with no peace in between
July
MTWTFSS
     1(2) Fed up of everything. Trying to figure it out is too hard. It is what it is .
(5) Painted house. Good distraction. As soon as the distractions end though, I just go back to worrying
2No Reasons
3No Reasons4(5) Lots of mood swings today. Challenging to deal with.. Finding it hard to be positive and not critical towards people5(5) Did a self compassion quiz and scored v badly. Will try not to be so hard on myself when I get things wrong or don't like things about myself. Work slow this pm6(5) Moods and thoughts still all over the place. Trying to let them be to do their own thing even if they are v difficult. Usual obsession bothering me.7No Reasons8No Reasons9No Reasons
10No Reasons11(6) Feeling good12No Reasons13(7) Feeling good. A little paranoid recently. Find it hard when ppl talk behind each other's backs. Felt I lacked confidence at work. Tried 2 challenge it but decided 2 accept it to avoid preoccupation.14(5) Tough one. Distracted by a busy mind. Felt depersonalised. Overwhelming. Low mood. Trying not to change the way I feel and just to go w it or it consumes my whole day15No Reasons16(5) Feeding anxious. Usually would try to change through cbt approaches. Just letting it be. It is ok to feel like this and I don't have to make it any different .
17(4) Hmm. All feels like such a slog. Depersonalisation unpleasant. Discussed not being afraid of emotions at mind. Let it be.18(5) Hmm.... feelings of anxiety and low self esteem again today. Spoke to t about. Trying my best to be kind to myself and avoid repeating myself. Slow steps19(6) Feel like things maybe getting better and that I'm getting some control over my ocd. Now just to deal with chronically low self esteem and anxiety. Progress?20(4) Hmmm. Struggling w obsessions this morning. Depersonalisation at work. Trying cbt type approach b didn't help so then just let it be. Then felt overwhelmed. Tough.21No Reasons22(4) Crying again. All seems hard. One worry followed by another. Going to try baby steps or I get overwhelmed. Just one or two small cbt things a day rather than loads . Let's see....23No Reasons
24(6) feeling ok now, but anxious most ofday. Ended up wanting to repeat things 2 myself. Trying not 2 do it as I know I have a good memory and that once is enough. I am an anxious person but that's ok :)25(6) Lots of anxiety for most of the day. Ended up repeating stuff. Hard. Just need to push through. Don't need to do anything. Just be me. Chilled in gdn and feeling better now26(6) Been fairly ok. Kept the checking at bay and committed to not doing it. Some triggers for my obsessions which I handled well. Phew27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30(3) Obsessing. Hard. Doing my head in. Repeating a problem again. Trying accepting stuff but that's challenging too. Grr... overwhelmed again. There is nothing to repeat as I am fine as I am
(4) Not doing anything. Repeat nothing and let things resolve themselves. Acceptance.
(3) Hard. Hard. Hard.
31(3) Overwhelmed