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  235 days
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January
MTWTFSS
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23(2) 24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(0)
30(2)
(1) I'm meeting my best friend today, whom I haven't seen since tree weeks, he was doing his exams. I feel as a bad person, because I didnt really keep in touch with him, I was really in bad mood recently
31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
February
MTWTFSS
  1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4(7) Whatching interviews with Marsha Linehan :) The mother of dialectical behavior therapy.5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(3) Back to dormitory. I wake up to every little noise again... #nosleep9(2) Everybody is shutting doors, walking around noisily in the room next to mine. Couldn't sleep in early morning because of my negative thoughts, now I can't sleep because of being in a dormitory.10(1) Reading stories of people with BPD all day. It's tiring... but I can't stop. It is good to see that something maybe describes me but I'm afraid to be diagnosed with it one day.11(2) I fell asleep about at 1 AM and I woke up at 8:15 AM. Though, I am really tired and not ready to start the day. I can't fall back asleep. Earplugs and relative sipence doesn't help.12(2) I have very mixed feelings. Once I feel about 5, then something crosses my mind and my mood turns to 2. Wtf is happening? I want to get up and start the day then I got terrified that I wont be able...
13(3) I didn't prepare for todays class at uni, so I skipped it. I had a week to do some research but I didn't do anything. I feel guilty but I can't help being unproductive.14(2) Anxious as hell... I contacted a psychiatrist and hopefully we will have an appointment this week. The bad thing is that she is in different city and I will be there only for one month, so I can't...
(3) Woke up this morning earlier than usual. Today I will have the semesters first class with a new teacher so it's important not to miss. I don't want to go, I don't need new faces in my life now.
(6) Feeling elevated for the first time since about a month. A big relief. But I know I will slip back soon so I reeeally have to appreciate that I'm not depressed at the moment.
(5) It was a really intensive day. During the day I got elevated. I couldn't really sit still, was so hyperactive. I had to buy some lemongrass tea, it made me feel sleepy. Maybe I will have a good night?
15(3) Sad panda again. I didn't sleep well again. I woke up depressed, thinking about everyone who didn't wanted me in romantic ways. I feel lonely...16(5) I'm feeling neutral. I'm not depressed but I'm not happy either. Calm. I woke up at 4am and cried for 2 hrs so it's good to be relaxed.17(4) Moving to the capital city for a month. Anxious because i fear the big traffic and the lots people i will meet there. Also excited because it's a big change. I hope for the best.
(4) Moving to the capital city for a month. Anxious because i fear the big traffic and the lots people i will meet there. Also excited because it's a big change. I hope for the best.
(4) Moving to the capital city for a month. Anxious because i fear the big traffic and the lots people i will meet there. Also excited because it's a big change. I hope for the best.
(4) Moving to the capital city for a month. Anxious because i fear the big traffic and the lots people i will meet there. Also excited because it's a big change. I hope for the best.
(4) Moving to the capital city for a month. Anxious because i fear the big traffic and the lots people i will meet there. Also excited because it's a big change. I hope for the best.
(6) I feel quiet well. Moved to the capital. I met a friend today, we had pleasant conver
18(1) Arghhh. The first appointment at the psychologist was awful. She said things I already know. I didn't get any closer to what my problem might be. Bought an apple cider. I didn't drink alcohol since...19(3) I slept quiet well. When I woke up my mood was about 6. I live in a flat with 8 ppl and I haven't met all of them yet. When I went to the kitchen there was a couple I never seen before. It was so...
(6) Quiet a good, calm day. The psychologist I saw yesterday, suggested that she could search a volunteer psychologist for me for the time I'm here in this city. I started to like one of my roommates...
20(7) First day at traineeship. Workplace seems to be nice and the people are friendly.21(6) In the last few days I slept quiet well (despite the fact that it was never enough). In the morning I'm always grumpy, but now I happy for not being down for days :)))
(5) There was a guy I hooked up with in autumn and wanted to date him but he didn't have the same feelings. Today a friend of my sent me a picture of him while they were hanging out. I don't understand it
(2) That photo really made me feel bad. It makes me remember how lonely I am and how a big loser I am for never being able to keep somebody.
22(1) I want to switch off and have no feelings. The therapist doesn't reply to my email I sent her yesterday to set an appointment. Traineeship today was super boring. My coworker said that I am already...
(6) Pleasant conversation with a roomie. She's so hot. Oh god, why am I always falling for unavalaible people?
23(3) Boring day at traineeship. Finally managed to set appointment with therapist. On the telephone she didn't sound to be nice. The only good thing is that I ate at a great vegan Chinese restaurant.
(4) I really like my roommate. She so good company. It is always a pleasure having conversations with her. Why does she have girlfriend?? It makes me feel bad about my feelings.
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(7) Had a great time yesterday with friends. I really want to get closer to my roomie, but I feel guilty every time I have thoughts about her.26(7)
(4) I read a book of a transgender woman. It was really touching.
27(5) Going to psychologist. I'm really nervous. I don't want to get tense and start shaking like before. It was so embarrassing.28(3) The psychologist wasn't as bad as I expected. But I don't want to go to traneeiship. I will be bored af and waste my time there among people I don't really know/like.
(4) ***ing hate to be here. I don't do anything except from sitting and staring at the lcd trying to read a pdf book because I'm sooo bored. I will try to leave earlier.
(1) Super boring traneeship. Drank alcohol again. Though, I don't feel illuminated and it's frustrating. Roomie said on sunday that I should join her to the movies. But I didn't her today so I guess...
(0) I don't want to do this. I want to stop crying. I want to be happy. I want somebody to be happy by my side. But I don't know how to do it. I am worthless, nobody needs a person like me. And it is ...
March
MTWTFSS
  1(8) Met a girl with borderline. It's crazy how similar are our problems and issues. She was so hot. I wish I was brave enough to kiss her and rip off all of her clothes in private place but when we said..2(6) I'm generally happier than the past days but I'm in a strange mood and condition. My mind is awake and loud but my body is powerless and all I want to do is sleep although I can't bec of my thoughts.3(4) I am going home today. I don't want to. I don't want anybody to ask questions about how did I spent the last month. I want to lay in bed all day and spend time with L. She so the same as me...
(5) Arrived at home. Isn't as bad as I expected. I was behaving really well, I'm not nervous at all. I hope I won't get any frustrating questions from my family.
4(5) I am really elevated today. My thoughts appear then disappear really fast. It's 01 PM but already drank two cups of coffee, which makes this worse.5(3) I don't want to be at my parents house. I want to go back to Budapest, and be with the girl I dated this week. Okay, I'm nit sure if I really want to do that. I want everything ti end and become ...
6(5) I'm okay. I slept well, maybe it wasn't enough. I looking forward today's appointment at psychologist.
(4) The psychologist wasn't bad. But I am feeling worse. I didn't wanted to but I bought some alcohol and drank it with two pills of antifebrile. I'm bored and I want something to happen.
7(3) I really wanted to die yesterday. I just didn't dare to. I'm not determined enough. I accept more and more the fact that I won't live for too much time.
(1) I don't want to be here...
(7) Today I met a photographer who is working in a museum. He was really nice to me. And hot... he was very good looking. I wish he was younger and single.
8(5) I think I got used to being down in the last weeks. If I rated my mood 1or 2, now it would be equal with 3 or 4.
(7) I felt really good in the morning and at noon.
(0) Now I thinking anout how should I end everything, especially this strong pain and feeling of uselessness...
9(3) Not feeling that much low but I still want to die. My roommate invited me to an exhibition today but she haven't show up yet. This will be the 4th time somebody let me down this week.10(3) I do find life to be great sometimes but it's like my problems are always being there in the background reminding me of that this little happiness is just temporary and I will be alone again with my..11(1) I dont really understand why do people find me special, fun, interesting when I got nothing inside just big big big emptiness. I dont know how to rate my mood so it's will be 1 because i dont want to
(1) I told a really hood friend about my suicidal thoughts and i feel like a stupid selfish asshole. I know i scared her. I am so cruel to her. She shouldnt worry about me. She has more important things..
(1) I hate it when I have so many thoughts when im drunk but they disappear too fast and i cant write them down.
12(3) I'm not that down but I mainly have low mood.
13(7) I had amazing time with few of the people I share apartman with. My roomie was with us she was super hot with her smart jokes. The struggle is real...
(5) Today will be the last appointment at the psychologist. On sunday I will move back to uni. I want to talk with her about my strong sui..al thoughts I was struggling with last week. I hope everything..
14(3) Yesterday was really exhausting. I cried to the psychologist. Then I cried to my roommate. She hugged me when I needed it the most. She is really amazing person. I will miss her so much when I'll be..15(7) Had a calm, relaxed day. Didn't go to traneeship and spent the whole day at home. In the evening had some talk-time with my roommates. Good to feel not depressed.16(1) I felt really calm in the last 48 hours until tonight. I went out with my roomie and her friends and I felt very isolated. Like there were the people and there was I, a completely different, weird...17(0) Couldn't sleep at night. Woke up around 3 am and my thoughts were killing me. I keep telling myself that I don't have much time left. I am really deep inside this blue and dark thing.
(0) I want to die but I am also afraid of being dead. I can't handle these deep emotions anymore.
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(1) I hate my uni but I can't leave it. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of life. I don't want to live like this anymore.
(0) Crying and hoping that it eases something.
20(1) Back to uni. Yesterday was horrible. I spent the whole afternoon crying. I hardly could make it to the bus station. Then finally on the bus I managed to calm down. I was like a little girl who has...21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(4) Yesterday was ok. I was a bit emotional but basicly I didn't cry. I'm sick of this place. The weather is really good and sunny, it's the first day of spring after this long ugly winter. I can't enjoy
(5) I'm feeling quiet ok. Thinking about moving back to the capital. Maybe I will passivate my next semester.
23(5) Having a nice time with my best friend. I still have sad thoughts, though.24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
27(5) I'm felt quiet ok in the last few days. Except from some usual negative thoughts. Moved back to the capital. I hope I will find a part time job to start with. I'm really nervous to leave uni in half..28(1) Today was terrible. I want to continue going to the psychologist but she didn't pick up the phone for three days. I was desperate. Then finally she answered my email and she is willing to see me...29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30(6) Today I felt a little happier than usual. I don't know why, there wasn't any reason. Still really anxious about talking with my parents. Now I can't sleep. It's 3 am.
(4) An average day with cry 'attacks'. I started to sratch my skin on my forearm. It's not like cutting but similar. It terrifies me how calming can this activity be. I have to talk about it to my...
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April
MTWTFSS
     1(4) Very anyious day. I slept almost all day. I managed to talk to my mother. She was suprisingly sympathetic. I worry about her so much because I don't want to make her worrying about me. I know I'm ...2(6) Quiet day. I discussed everything with my parents. They were super understanding. I had a good trip back.
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4(1) I have terrible day. Didn't happen anything special, I just feel unworthy. I am so useless and not enough. I should really stop thinking about my roomie, she has girlfriend... It's just so hard and...
(5) Calmed down a little bit. Had a nice talk time with my roomie about our activities today.
5(2) I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep for about 2 hours. I was worrying about different stuff in my life. Finally, deep breathing calmed me down. I'm sleepy now.6(1) Yesterday was terrible. I had to meet some relatives because they had to sign some paper for me. I always feel so uncomfortable myself around them. But we filled something wong on the papers so I ...7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
10(7) The last few days were calm and sad-feelibg-free :) yaay
(2) Todays appointment at the psychologist was terrible. I know it wasn't her intent but she asked me questions that made me feel like I caused my problems because of my poor self-esteem. I feel like ...
(0) Crying like a child. I feel like I have caused all my problems, and I am the main problem of my own life. I am probably really hard to deal with. I feel sorry for my friends.
11(1) Managed to calm down a bit, then fell asleep, but I woke up in the middle of the night and I'm crying again. At least now I able to note down my thoughts.
(5) Crying all day. I felt incredible pain. Then in the late afternoon I somehow got myself together and started to search for a job again. It calmed me a little but down.
12(4) Starting to feel bad again. Searching for jobs can really bring one down.13(6) Yaay! A bar wants to interview me for a job today. Maybe I can get hired? I hope I won't get tricky questions.14(1) Back home for Easter. I cried all afternoon. Then fell asleep. I felt this strange inexplicable sadness and feeling of worthlessness. I don't understand why do I have to have such deep emotions.
(4) I calmed down a bit but it's still not okay at all. I'm afraid of my future. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to be sad, I don't want to be anxious, I don't want to be angry about anything
15(1) Family fight. Really much going on. I can't describe it in few short sentences.
(5) I discussed a few things with my parents. Now I'm not as anxious being home as earlier today. But I started to feel stupid for taking a break at uni. And there is still this deep feeling of ...
16(6) Calm Sunday family dinner.
17(5) Back to uni to move out from dormitory. Hope I will never have to come back in this tiny ugly yellow room. Anxious a little bit for unclear reasons.18(5) I'm seeing a good old friend. I hope we will have a good time. I wish he was here for more than one day. Still anxious, though. I have to move to a new apartment. I don't want new people...19(5) It was a pleasant day. Met some good friends yesterday evening and today. The weather makes me a little bit letargic, it's april and it started to snow! It isn't usuall in my country at all... My20(4) Ugly sleepy morning. Yesterday night my thoughts about being worthless came back. My psychologist asked me to set a goal for our sessions. It was last week and I still don't know why did I enter...21(3) I can't answer this stupid question that why did I enter therapy. I just felt bad in the past few months and I thought a professional can help me figure out what's going on. And now I am the one ...22(6) I still felt worthless today but then I got a phone call. A clothes shop wants to interview me for a seller job at monday. I mean it's not my dream job but way better than many other positions.
(1) Feeling worthless came back. I can't get it out of my head. I should study but I can't concentrate. I feel really lonely. I'm 22 yrs old and I never had a relationship. There is sure something wrong..
(0) I can't stop crying, it's difficult to breath. I'm so lonely, I don't want to feel this whole shit. I can't handle my emotions. It's like there were my 'rational thinking' and 'emotional thinking'....
23(5) Yesterday evening and this morning I'm quiet okay. Yesterday I spent some time studying finally.
(4) I'm starting to get down again. I should study but I can't get myself to even open the book. I will visit some places in town, the weather is so good.
(7) Met a girl today and we had a nice conversation. Then I had some calm time at home with my roomies.
24(6) Psychologist today. After that a job interview. Theraphy always makes me more emotional that usuall, so I hope lose the job because of it.
(6) Job interview. It wasn't bad. They will notice me tomorrow if I'm hired.
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(8) I met an amazing girl yesterday, and we spent the whole morning and afternoon with her. I also got the job I applied. I have quiet happy times recently :)27(4) Today's mood starts to drop down...
(3) Oh yes, I'm getting more and more depressed today for unknown reason. Maybe I'm stressed about moving to my new apartment. I wanted to move on Saturday, now I decided to leave on Sunday. Ridiculous...
(5) I feel very strange. My mind is really fast, I'm quiet hyperactive but I can't concentrate on anything.
28(5) Mixed feelings. I was quiet okay today but sometimes my negative thoughts appeared again. Fortunately, I could chill them down.29(4) I don't want to move... I want my old roommates. I don't have the power for new people... As I'm writing this post I get more and more frustrated.
(3) I feel like sh*t... and alone.
(2) I really don't want to feel this way. How can I end it? It's so frustrating I can't control my feelings. I try to accept them but if they come from nowhere it is really hard to do it.
(2) I really don't want to feel this way. How can I end it? It's so frustrating I can't control my feelings. I try to accept them but if they come from nowhere it is really hard to do it.
30(3) I hardly could sleep. Now I'm waiting for a girl from uni who wanted me to model for a photoshoot. She isn't showing up. I don't have the patience and the energy for this right now.
(3) I want my old apartment. And old roommates. I don't know if I'm in a depression but if yes, then I wouldn't have moved now. But life isn't about right times. I have to get over it.
(6) I had a date with a girl and we kissed. She was also called Eva :)
May
MTWTFSS
1(5) Thought it was the first day of work, but actually I coulbd't get in the building. They misspelled the starting date too, and there is a national holiday in my country, maybe they don't work today.2(6) First day at work. It's really exhausting but I'm looking forward to it the next day. I hope today I can sleep well of tiredness.3(6) 4(0) Back from my third day of work. I had a hard day. I mean it wasn't hard but I'm new and it seems like I learn slow. I was ok at work but back home on the metro I hardly could control myself,I almost..
(5) Back to normal mood.
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(3) Yesterday my ex roomie visited me. I haven't seen her since I moved out from my old apartment and I really missed her company. But now things were a little strange. She acted really srange like she...
(1) I can't concentrate. I have to study and I tried reeeeeally hard all day but I can hardly pay attention. All I can do is to cry. I am big piece of s..it. I don't want to fail my exam again. I want ...
7(3) I again feel this feeling like I don't fit in at work.
(6) Finally, I felt quiet good at work. I hope I will be able to study today and wonmt get distracted by my dark thoughts.
(5) Anxious about tomorrows exam. I couldn't learn everything only about half of the chapter. I'm afraid I will fail again.
8(5) Exam time
(5) I failed my exam. I don't know what to do because it's a law in Hungary that you can study for free for 10 semesters but now I have to pay back my school fee. I don't have that much money. I feel ...
9(4)
(6) Hurray! I don't have to pay back my school fee :) I will have enough credits. But next year I have to work really hard on my failed exams. I'm afraid that I will fall apart again. I need another one..
10(1) Really depressed. I have those usuall feelings of loneliness and self worthless. Maybe I should have take the advice of the psychologist and I should have gone on medicine? I really can't take ...
(0)
(0) I'm like -10. I don't know if I should call a support line. I afraid of talking yo a complete stranger.
(1) I feel a little bit better but I still can't stop crying.
11(5) Yesterday night I met a friend of mine and we had a pleasant conversation. I got better. Now I feel neutral, I hope I won't break down again.12(6) I'm going to my first queer party in my life with two friends who don't know each other. I hope they will get along well.13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(3) In the last few days I just felt like it's no reason in existing. My whole life is a faliure.
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(3) I'm starting to get enough of this job. I don't have free time because my work schedule is so messed up. I'm usually always extra sleepy and I don't have energy to do anything when I'm home...17(3) A bad day again...18(5) I'm feeling quiet good today at work :)19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(2) One of my 'boss' is picking at me, I don't know why.
(4) Usually being at work doesn't let me think about things too much. But today we have a lot to do and it is terrible.
(5) A tough day but the finishing at work was good.
21(6) I felt really lonely and sad today but I met two new people in the afternoon and my bad thoughts slowly disappeared.
22(5) I felt okay today. I'm going to meet a girl in the evening, whom I dated once. I feel really guilty because my mind is always on my ex roomie and I feel I can't truly love anyone else. So I just ...23(2) Yesterdays date was horrible. Although, we had nice conversations, I just felt it's not right what I'm doing right now. So I think I will stop dating girls for a while. Everything is so empty ...
(5) I visited the National Gallery of Hungary. Due to studying in art university I have free entry. I feel a bit better. Now back to work.
24(2) I woke up on my current roommate's morning noises four days in a row now. My ex roomie isn't replying on my messages for a few days. She is studying for her exams so I know she's busy but she had..
(2) The psychologist I was seeing said she will find another volunteer psychologist for me (I don't have money for 'normal' one). She didn't contacted me for a month so I emailed her and she said my ...
25(4) I woke up on my rommates morning noises again. I'm so tired of not sleeping enough. I decided to talk to my ex roomie, B (I will call her B from now) and she said she has hard exams now. I feel...
(5) I wish todays work was better. I wish I was faster and more efficient. I hate being here. But at least I get distracted from my thoughts.
26(5) Work work work
(7) Work should have ended at 19 but I accidently stayed until 21 o'clock. I don't know how could this happen, things mixed up in my head. But I'm quiet happy today, despite this fact. I hope it will ...
27(5) I want to go home. Today, work is really easy, but I want to sleep, I'm so tired and lonely. I want to see B. She is studying for hard exams rigth now. I want to contact my new psychologist too.
(6) I'm quiet happy these days. I'm afraid a little but that my mood will drop dramatically soon.
28(6) Woke up with normal mood again. I read in a few articles that birth control pill can make you depressed. It's interesting because I feel depressed since I went on different kind of bc pill last ...
(5) Work is super easy today and it's really boring. There aren't many people in the shop fortunately. I hope finishing will come fast. I will rest in the evening and read books.
(6) Got home, cooked some food for tomorrow and now I'm sitting on my bed, chilling. A little lonely. My roommate is already sleeping. I've been living with her for a month now and I don't know her at ..
29(6) Despite being lonely, I feel great. I would rate a 7 but because of the fear of getting low I rate 6 now.
(6) Some bad thouths caught me when I arrived at work, and strangely it made me happy that I was a little low again. It is wierd being 'normal'.
30(8) B visited me at workplace. It was a really great surprise :) She was so cute, it was good to see her.31(5) My mood dropped a little. Today I'm not really motivated at work, I just do my things like a robot. I wanna be at home but today I'm here still closing (10 PM)
June
MTWTFSS
   1(6) Fortunately a boring workday. I feel rather happy, but I'm 'emotionless' now. In the evening I will meet a friend. Finally, I can get some social life.2(4) I woke up on my roommatems morning noises again. It is really annoying that I see that she notices I wake up but she continues to be noisy, like she didn't care. I'm going home tomorrrow to my...3(5) Work was ok. I'm going home tomorrow to my family. I isn't the reason why I'm going home but my nother got in hospital because oglf her diabetes. I hope ahe is well and will get out by the weekend.4(6) I don't know why but I can't let myself be 100% happy because of my fear of being low again.
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(4) Stupid roommate's morning noise again. I'm really getting tired of having to wake up with her every morning...7(1) Today I went out with a few friends and there was B, my ex rommie, who I really love and not just in a friendly way. But today we talked a little and she told me that all I thought about us, that we..
(1) I'm just a big piece of sh*t. I'm losing the most precious person in my life.
(1) I hope I won't get emotionally weak at work.
(1) Really hard not getting emotional at work. B isn't answering now. Maybe she is just busy. I hope we get through this.
8(3) The day is quiet okay. I spent some time in a museum, a library and wandering in the city. I really tried to be not home alone.9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(3) I want to die. Not literally but I feel extremely lonely and disappointed. I want to c*ut. I want B to stay in ny life. I'm happy to ve her friend. It wouldn't be enough but I would accept it. ...
(5) I feel better. I hope I will enjoy today's date.
12(5) As I had guessed. The girl I dated today is really kind but I can't get my thoughts off B. Fxck... I will have two more dates this week. I really don't want to hurt anyone. I just need some company.
(6) First appointment at new psychologist. Excited :)
(6) The psychologist made a good impression on me. I hope we will get along well. Work was quiet good today. I'm super tired. I'm doing tests the psychologist gave me.
13(7) Today I went on a date with a girl. We talked a lot about mental health issues. She has schizoid depression. She is on some medicine and she was very sleepy so we kept date short. It was an ...14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(6) I was really elevated in the first part of the day. I really wanted to talk to someone. I went to work at 10 am but it came out that the schedule changed and I had to come back at 1 pm. Work was ok...
(3) I went to the thesis defense of my uni group. I have only one friend there and she wasn't really available due to being stressed. It is totally understandable. In the evening there should be a ...
16(4) I wanted to visit a girl, who lives abroad. We had a night together and we stayed in contact afterwards. I didn't get the day off, I talked to my boss and she can't do anything about it.17(5) Not happy but not bad day. I'm off to work. Hope everything will be ok.18(6) At the first part of the day I wasn't really happy being at work but at the ebd of the day I became happy. Our boss surprised us with some chocolate ans cola. I'm tired now in a good way.
19(4) Morning is okay. I feel really lonely and I feel I'm a big failure but my mood isn't that bad. Off to the psychologist soon.20(8) Yesterday I met an amazing girl. We had beautiful conversations and at the end of the date we kissed for long long minutes. In the morning I was really happy
(4) Now I feel quiet afraid. She didn't answer my message yet. I really want to get to know her better. Plus work is really hard today. There will be a big sale in the shop and the place is chaotic.
21(1) The girl didn't respond the whole day. I'm rejected again... How many times will this happen? Why can't anybody love me?
(3) My mood raised a little. But I still feel unworthy. I don't want to meet any new people because they will always leave me eventually. But I'm extremely lonely...
(4) Work is a disaster. It's sales tomorrow and a lot of stuff changed. I don't know how will I survive tommorow's day. B messaged me so that makes me a little bit happy at least.
22(3) I don't want to go to work. Yesterday I worked as hard as I could and it wasn't enough. And today will be even worse. In addition, I'm getting sick, my tonsils are aching. Yesterday I got home from...
(5) Work wasn't as bad as I thought and my mood became normal. B said she can't meet me only in July but basically I'm okay finally.
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(1) I'm really tired of dating people... and tired of people who text you everyday and say they want to meet you but they didn't respond in the oast minute and ruin your free time like you were nobody ...25(4) The weather is really hot these days. Being numb and tired. It often happens me when there is such a hot temperature. Work isn't gonna be good feeling this weak.
(6) Work was ok. I feel alright. There were some rain and the temperature dropped. I love summer but working in a place where there is no air conditioning is not fun.
26(3) Anxious and woke up one hour earlier. It isn't clear why.
(2) Was nervous all day at work. I wanted to get some days off because my parents will be in town but my boss couldn't give it. I wanted to swap off day with some coworkers but the timetable disappeared.
(5) I'm calm again. I ate lots of ice cream and napped a little, then went to buy groceries and when I got home I drank some coffee and smoke a cigarette. The city is so amazing when it's sunset.
27(6) Mood is ok. Going to psychologist then off to work.
(6) Mood is still okay. I hope it will remain like this and I can do my part time job after work. At the psychologist for the first time I felt frustrated after leaving.
(6) Just a note for myself: It's 27 june. Yesterday, I was frustrated for no big reason and today I'm happy, 'normal' for no reason.
28(6) I had the day off. In the afternoon I went to the House of Terror, a historical museum. It was interesting but I wouldn't go back. It was really touching and terrifying. In the evening, I talked ...29(6) There was some rain at night ahd I slept really well. Today I have to call the psychiatric hospital in my district to contact a psychiatrist. My psychologist said that she strongly suggests ...
(5) Work is boring. Recently, I was thinking about quitting. I didn't call the local mental hospital in the end because I just couldn't... I hate to make phone call. It really makes me nervous...
30(5) I called the local mental hospital and I can go next week. I want to quit my job. Next week I will let my boss know. I hope they don't want me to stay because of sales. B messaged me and we can meet
July
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2(6) I was really tired but I have two days off now and finally I could sleep. I told my boss yesterday about my quitting. I could leave immediately bec I'm on probation but I'm staying for one more week..
(6) Going to an event about transsexuality. Nervous cause I will go there alone. I don't like to attend such gatherings all by myself
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(5) Haven't logged for a while. I went to the psychiatry today and they prescribed me some weak tranquilizer pills. I emailed my psychologist about it. Waiting for her opinion about these pills.7(4) Last day at the shop. I want this workday to be over. I'm happy that I quitted but anxious about not findig another job. I would need a part time job because I think I can continue uni. It is ...8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(7) I went to Budapest Pride. It was my first time at Pride. I was extremely afraid because I went alone plus I was afraid that some homophobic people will attack me on my way back home but everything...
10(6) My mood is so stable recently. Surprisingly, it is weird. I don't know how to handle it because I still find everything meaningless. I'm hudt not crying that much and I don't feel like my brain was...11(6) Lovely day. I had an appointment at psychologist. I have to admit that this time it was a little but rough because we were talking about some painful events but I spent the other part of the day...12(5) Watching an 7 hour long movie called Satantango.13(2) I felt really good in the first part of the day and now I went to the movies with B and with some of her friends and my mood dropped dramatically. I haven't felt this way for a month now. I feel I am14(6) Hypmaniac. Talking too much, thinking too much. God bless my friend E, that he doesn't get enough of me. I'm probably really annoying. I hope I can sleep tonight. Yesterday I almost started to xut ...15(4) I'm at my parents house. B and E visited me here. I felt good but after that I had a minor argument with my mother about a trip I can't go on with her and my father. I don't really want to be home.16(5) Went out with friends last night. Tired ? and anxious about being home. My parents want to spend some time with me and it makes me nervous that they will ask questions about my mental health. They ..
17(4) I had a bad conversation/argument with my parents yesterday and I'm still nervous about their opinion. They think I'm leaving home too early at the age of 22. No I'm really don't want to be home ...18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(4) July 18 was 4
(6) I'm moderately happy. Visited my godparents at Balaton lake with my parents. We had a pleasent day on the beach and they are having good conversations. I heard some stories about my grandparents
20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21(4) I have to go visit my uncle's family. I don't really want it but my parents are here in the country also visiting them and they want to see me.
(5) The visit wasn't that bad after all. I'm always frustrated when my parents around. Tomorrow, I will spend the whole day with them, and I'm a bit afraid of having usual arguments about trivial things.
22(5) I spent/am spending the day with my parents. We went to Ikea and wanted to eat some food and in the line thes started to argue about the order. It was so embarrassing... I wonder how could I spend...23(6) I spent the day in at a lady who has a huge collection of books lots of them are about lmbt+ issues. Some people are helping her in sorting the books and I joined them. When I woke up this morning I..
24(3) I feel quiet low and sad. I watched the movie 'To the Bone' and although it is not a very very difficult film it still made feel bad about myself, all my bad thoughts and insecurities showed up ...
(4) I'm okay again. It was just a mood swing that will go away by the time I wake up in the morning..
25(3) Morning 'I'm not really into doing anything' feeling. Unmotivated even to have breakfast. I think I'm gonna read and listen to some chill music. Luckily, now I don't have a job so I'm not feeling...26(3) Morning was ok. My mood was about 5. I was texting with B and she said she will leave on Saturday and will only come back in September. I suggested to meet but she is working all the time... fxck this
(1) Emotional breakdown
(4) I'm feeling better but I missed the chance to spend some time with a friend because of my mood swing. I don't have the power to go out
(2) The mood swing is back... but at least it's not as bad as in the afternoon.
27(5) Feeling ok. Appointment at psychologist an hour later.
(4) After and during the appt at the psychologist I was really tense. We tried some mindfulness techniques but it didn't made any difference. I'm really tired because of poor night sleep. I tried to take
(6) Feeling happy. I probably won't meet again this girl but she was a really lovely company ??
28(5) Going to shoot the engagement photos of a cute lesbian couple. I'm really looking forward to it but I'm scared as f too. I haven't taken pictures since a year... #anxious29(6) The photoshoot went ok. I'm not satisfied with the pictures at all but it was nice to talk with the couple. Really tired ?30(7) Yesterdays mood: I was visiting a good friend. I haven't seen her for more than a month. It was good to share with her what's happening to me and what difficulties prescribing my meds.
31(4) I think the people that I currently share apartman with, don't really like me... I have to prolong my lease contract soon and the landlord asked if I want to stay. When I answered yes he didn't seem..
(2) I'm just realising how lonely I am. I just ignored it until now. All my friends are in another cities, I started to date a cute girl but she doesn't write me back and I have a wierd relationship ...
August
MTWTFSS
 1(3) I was okay for the rest of the day but my mood dropped again for no reason.
(4) Have you ever experienced this, Pandas? My psychologist gave me a worksheet with cognitive distortions listed and I have to give my examples for them. Whenever I start to write something down I just..
2(5) Morning mood is tolerable. I give another try to this cbt worksheet. #cbt #motivated
(3) The cbt worksheet made me feel bad again...
(5) Smoked some cigarettes on the balcony, listened to music and whatched the city lights. Finally, I'm calm in the end of the day. ?
3(5) It's really hot today. In my apartment there's no air conditioning so I will spend the rest of my day in the local library. Cool weather and lots of books, best combination.4(5) I woke up again on my roommate's noises then I couldn't fall asleep for 1 hour because of the street noise. And maybe because I'm so tense these times. So I overslept. Now I chilled down I think...
(7) Spend a nice day with a girl who was my coworker at my last workplace. And had been at a small designer shop, where are looking for part time seller. Maybe I will get hired again? :)
5(4) Can't sleep because of hot weather. I'm really tired...
(2) I'm drinking because of sadness... I made resolution that I will only drink I'm happy or with someone else. I will have to go back to uni in September but I just can't do it... I really love B and ...
(5) I am really drunk l. But B answered ky masseges even though shes at a bar with someone else. This is a big deal for me right now
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
7(4) I a had a dream about my thesis. My finished thesis! I was at the thesis exhibition (I'm studying photography), my family was helping me like it was just a family dinner. And my pictures and the8(4) I can't sleep so I woke up 2 hours earlier. My head is so full of worries. University, roommate issues... thinking about moving to a single room but the rents are so high, I can't afford anything.
(4) Yesterday, I was hangung out with a guy I met at an lgbt party. He was too much for me now. I've just realized how much I love quiet, introverted people.
9(3) Roommate issues again...
(3) In the library. I'm not getting calmer at all. I ran into an old thought-note on my phone. Maybe I should delete it, it just makes me remember old worries.
10(4) Tired. I could sleep one more hour but I just wasn't able to sleep.
(5) Crying at the psychologist but after a while I felt really good. All in all, it was a productive appointment. Met P today. We had some nice beers. And also B contacted me to go out on sat nigh
11(6) Peaceful day alone at home without any flatmates.12(5) I dyed my hair purple yesterday and it looks amazing! I love it sooo much! Going to meet B intue evening. Getting really stressed about it.
(2) B wrote that she wants to go to the cinema with another friend, but I'm not in the mood for movies or being with random people. I hate when people mix up plans you made days ago together. Now we ...
13(4) Going to my parents house and while I'm in my hometown going to a music festival too. I'm really nervous hoing to both. I don't want to drink alcohol and I don't have the power dealing with stupid ...
14(6) Quiet happy. Seeing an old friend.
(7) Uno (a type of card game) party with a friend drinking brown beer ??
15(4) I'm starting to slide back in the grumpy mood.16(2) A girl I dated a few times just wrote me that she isn't over her ex. Plus I'm going to a music festival this week and B will be there with her girlfriend. I don't know if I will be able to handle ...17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
21(3) I didn't enjoy the music festival. Too many people and acquaintances. It's hard to be with people who seems to have extremely good time while you are bored of everything.
(2)
(2) I hate today's day. Too much things are happening. Issues with my mother, my roommate, have a low moodswing since days, university starts in a few weeks. I cxtted myself few days ago and I have ...
22(2) First day at work. I'm happy to be hired but today is just not the right day to start...
(3) I can't see my therapist this week and I didn't see her last week either. I'm really down... I'm afraid I will cut again. I feel so alone.
(6) I'm going to check out an room for rent tomorrow. It's quiet cheap so I could afford it and I shouldn't have to live with roommates anymore.
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(3) I don't know how to rate today's mood. I was super depressed in the morning because I was going to see a psychiatrist but I went to wrong address and everything gets more and more complicated. Then..25No Reasons26(2) Yesterday was a bad mood day
(2) Omg... went to check out a room for rent and it came out that that the flatmate would be a really creepy older guy. It was a little bit shocking experience.
(1) Gloomy, gloomy day
27(5) No bad mood today. Weird... I don't understand why did it stop.
28(3) I didn't got the room which was for rent. I can already feel that I will slide back to the low mood I was experiencing in the last two weeks. Now I'm home with my current roommate who doesn't speak ..
(2) I feel terrible.
29(1) Can't sleep. Huge urge to cut myself.
(5) Going to check out another room. I hope I will get this one. It's in the same place I lived a few months ago.
30No Reasons31(1) I didn't got the room and the whole situation was awful. I can't sleep. All I can think about is that I can't go back to uni.
(1) I don't really have appetite. I struggle even with going to the nearest supermarket or going to the library I recently visited a lot due to its calm atmosphere. I'm just laying here dressed up doing..
(2) Finally, I made myself eating but I ate a lot and I fell asleep. Now I'm in the library. One of my flatmates is holding a little party tonight, I don't wish to be there. I'm going to the movies.
September
MTWTFSS
    1(3) Woke up on roommate's morning noises again... from 6 am to 6:45 she was making 'her basic noises' again (pulling out drawers, browsing her clothes, walking in and out of room). But it makes me crazy..
(2) I felt surprisingly good all day. Then a few annoying buyer came and I became really nervous. I'm back to the grumpy times.
2No Reasons3(5) Wet weather but quiet day, chillin' at home. Yesterday, I checked another room, it was amazing, and nevertheless the girl too, who would be my flatmate. I hope she will choose me, there are quiet a ..
(0) I didn't got the room. This was the third one I wanted to rent but the landlords never chose me. I don't want to be stuck in this apartment I am currently living in. While I was waiting for the ...
4(3) I can't concentrate at my workplace. I made two mistakes, fortunately not big ones. I'm dull all day. Had poor sleep at night too with strange unpleasant dreams.
(6) Woo, I made a nice income for the shop today ? I'm so happy!! Or maybe just hipomaniac? Well, who cares. And met a guy at the shop from Norway and we had a little conversation about lgbt+ politics.
5(0) Terrible appointment at the psychologist. She made me talk about uni. It was really really really hard. I'm in the toilet now, I canmt go outside among the people.6(5) Lovely talk with a great woman ?
(2) I woke up on my roommate's nosies again. I would sleep for two more hours but now I can't fall asleep again. It will be a long, tiring day... and my mood is also not really good.
7(7) Cute cute girl ??8(3) As the day passes my mood drops again... Feeling a little suicidal.9(2) And of course I won't have a 3rd date with this girl either. We would go to a concert tonight but she already saying something came up and maybe she can't come. I know I shouldn't think that she ...10(5) We finally had the third date and I had amazing time. But I'm so afriad she didn't enjoy it as nuch as I did. There is no reason thinking that but it just really scares me that she will leave me too.
(0) I just can't do it. I can't go back to uni... I don't have the power to finish it. I can't make it...
11No Reasons12(4) My psychologist said maybe I should enter a psychiatry for a few week just to set my medicine dose. I'm really worried about doing this because I don't how to tell my parents. I'm 22 so basicly I'm ..13(2) Can't sleep. I met this amazing girl last week but she isn't replying on my message. I know I'm panicing for no reason because maybe she is just busy but every rejection started like this...
(3) In the first part of the day I felt good, a good friend visited me at my workplace. But of course as the day went on I became depressed again.
14(3) I want the day to be over...15(3) Recently I feel a little su..cidal. And next week I won't go my therapist because she'll be on holiday. I'm so afraid. I don't have the power for anything so I don't think I'm in danger but I would...
(0) F..ck everything. I made a mistake again at my workplace. I will never learn how to be a seller at this shop. I can't do anything right. And that girl will never truly want me. I could have a ...
(3) I calmed down finally. But my heart beats are really big and intense. Maybe I should listen to some guided meditation.
16(2) I felt quiet okay during the day. Going to see another room in Tuesday but I decided to go there to check out the neighborhood. It isn't that good but bot that bad either. Now as I am home, in bed I..17(2) I told my mother on fb that I'm taking a break at uni. She said she's going to walk the dog and will be back half hour later. It is one hour later and she isn't replying. I'm really nervous...
18(3) Finally, managed to talk to my mother on fb. She said that she doesn't really understand what's going on inside my head but I am making a wrong decision by taking a break at uni. If she only knew..
(6) I feel good! What a surprise! I have the day off and did some yoga in the morning, played the guitar and listened to some amazing music and played with sims 4. But I feel that suicidal thoughts are ..
19(6) Went to a philosophy class today at a friend's university.
(6) I still feel good. Set an appointment today for Friday at another psychiatrist. I'm really looking forward to it.
20(6) Calm day at work. I checked out another room for rent today. It was amazing, it had some used stuff but it is really close to my workplace and they have a little rabbit :) I love animals. I'm trying..21(6) Yeeeah! I finally found a new room which is in the inner city, near to my workplace. I'm so happy ?22(4) I saw the new psychiatrist today and she was really kind. So it was positive but today I met B too and I just realised I still love her...23(3) Can't sleep. Having thoughts about how worthless I am.
(5) First pill today. Or to be exact the first half one. I'm curious about the effects.
(4) The first day on pill. I don't feel any difference yet. I have these usual thoughts about self-wothless. I hope this pill work soon because it is quiet expensive...
24(7) I was working today a lot! I got an odd job was selling tickets for 10 hours. I was afraid I will be stressed and the lots of people will freak me out but I finally almost enjoyed it. Then when I ...
25No Reasons26(6) 3rd day on pill. My mood is still good! I moved almost all my stuff to my new apartment. Going to buy a lovely new pillow at Ikea which will match the color of the armchairs.
(3) F.cking crazy terrible nightmare...
(7) Stable mood today too. I am really tired because of yesterdays lucid dream, I couldn't sleep after it. So I slept about 4 hours and I couldn't nap in the afternoon either. Now it's almost midnight ...
27No Reasons28(0) I dated fifth time the girl but she said she started to date a guy and now they are together... Nobody needs me... I suddebly feel s...dal again...29(6) I'm back from yesterday's collapse. I moved all my stuff to my new room. Tomorrow I will go to my parenrlts and brother.30(7) Pleasant day at my parents ?
October
MTWTFSS
      1No Reasons
2(4) I want to go back... I don't want to be here at my parents house anymore. Fortunately, I will leave in an hour... I'm really tired. I want to sleep and be alone.3(4) I'm starting to slide back... Negative mood.4(4) Today I talked about my s..dal thoughts with my psychologist. I told her how pointless I find existing to be and that how much it bothers me not to know what is the meaning of life in general.5(4) I made a quiet big mistake at my workplace. Waiting for the boss to help me correct it... I never worked with cash register before and I always make some kind of a mistake. So embarrassed ?6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons
9(3) I haven't logged in the last few days. I'm struggling getting out of bed, I havenmt eat a propel meal for days. Yesterday, I didnmt have any food left and I ate all of my eatable foods(fruits, milk...10No Reasons11No Reasons12(5) Haven't logged for a while again. I've been to my psychologist, then a day later to my psychiatrist. Told them how I was recently. She hospitalised me. I got the paper from her but I have to set my...13No Reasons14(4) Slept 7 hours, still really tired though. I've started to get things done around my temporary address change. Anxious. I'm not sure that they could help me in that psych hospital. I mean my problems..15(3) #sick. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I cried. I don't want to exist.
16(6) Wierd day. Before work I set my temporary address and I finished one hour eating I expected. So I decided to take a look at the psych hospital outside from the street. On my way to work I had a huge..17(5) Okay mood. During the day I didn't feel sad and now in the evening I'm enjoying my time. No reason. I'm happy for it but it's strange and I'm afraid of falling back.18(6) Not sad again.
(5) Tomorrow I will go to the psychiatric hospital to gather some information about what do I need to do or bring with myself. Nervous...
19(3) I had a terrible dream. B kissed me and we were starting sth like a realtiobship. When I woke up I was incredibly sad... I'm still not over her. I didn't go to the hospital. I'm planning to call them.
(8) Had a really good time with a cute cute girl ??
20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons
23(5) I went to the hospital two days ago and they were really kind to me. They told me I can go one month later and it'll last about 4 weeks. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also very anxious.
(5) I'm not sure what's my mood. I was a little sad and thought about cxtting but then I overate and slept. I feel nothing now. Have to sleep again cause it's almost midnight.
24(5) I don't feel anything really. I only feel empty. I wanted to cxt for days and finally I didn't do it but I had pinched my forearm with a binder clip. It brought relief...25No Reasons26(3) Weird day. I have some troubles around my health insurance. (f.ck this country and its laws...) I have nearly a month to resolve it but I'm afraid I won't have the time and I will get into the clinic
(6) It's 0:00, midnight. Just smoked a cigarette and I am listening to Rejjie Snow. He's an amazing musician ?? I feel like being on a party. I have the urge to kiss a cute girl whom I've just met. Like
27(3) I managed to wake up but it was really hard. I'm going to the lab to set appointment for blood tests. I could call them on the phone but I want to take a walk. And sadly, I want to buy a paperclip...
(4) Met a friend today whom I haven't seen more than half year. We drank a beer and I couldn't stop and drank one more when I got home. It wasn't that good and I'm so angry on myself.
28(3) Terrible night... Woke up at 2am with a huge pain in my stomach and nausea. After an hour I threw up and it took another one hour to fall back asleep.29No Reasons
30(5) Went to the Natoinal Gallery today. Maybe I will have a date with a girl this week.
(6) Great app at psychologist. And I figured out that there isn't any problem around my health insurance. Happy.
31(5) Was very nervous in te first half of the day because of work but it went away. ?
November
MTWTFSS
  1(7) ??2(4) Made a mistake with that cashier machine at my workplace again... this machine makes me crazy, I don't do anything wrong and it mixes up things sometimes which leads to minor problems for me. I feel..
(6) Energetic. Tired but can't even think about sleeping.
3No Reasons4(5)
(5) Told my mom I will be in the psychiatric hospital. She told me that she appreciates how much I am doing for myself and how strong I am.
5(2) I almost fell asleep but spontaneously started to cry really bad. I met a girl this week and she is so amazing. I'm scared to death that it will end like other dates. What if she doesn't need me too?
(3) I was okay during the day but now as I got back in town from my parents and I am in my apartment, I feel really lonely and really miss the girl I met this week. It's crazy, we had only one date and...
6(5) Grumpy morning because of the neighbors' noise but now I'm okay.
(2) I went to work and it came out that my coworker will work today i the sho so I had to go home. I was really angry, I could stay at my hometown one more day in the weekend. Then I planned to go out...
7(1) I woke up again before 6 o'clock, I didn't even try to fall asleep back beacuse later yhe nrighbours started to wake up and have their morning noises. I thought the new place without roommate will...
(2) I don't want to work. I want my bed and some sleep and a girlfriend.
8(3) I got my period after 3 months. I have cramps, my head is aching a little bit and I'm really tired because I had o wake up early again, I went to blood test. Good session at psychologist. Going to...9(5) I went out last evening with a friend and we drank a little more than I expected. I'm hangover but at least we had good conversations. Going to meet the girl today. Excited. I hope she won't cancel...
(1) And of course she cancelled this date too...
(0) Crying... no one needs me.
(0) I wanted to see this gorl one more time before I go to the psychiatric hospital for five weeks. I feel so lonely, I wanted spend some time with a person who seemed to be nice. I don't know who will...
10(0) I feel alone. Cried throught the whole last evening. It's not about this girl only but every peope I met in my life. Our landlord will come this morning to discuss stuff about the apartment and my ...
(0) The day gets even “better”. At my workplace they fucked up my schedule and now I will work one day less which means I will get less money... I let them know about stuff on time and now I am the one...
11(2) Neighbors' morning noise again. Now they are really loud. Like they were moving out and packing things. But it's probably just my imagination, I'm not that lucky? while I was struggling to fall ...
(5) Today's income in the shop is really good ?
12(3) I should do my photo retouching work but I'm not in the mood. I feel lonely. In the next few days my flatmates won't be in the apartment. I wish I could have someone to invite over to take advantage..
(4) Mood is a bit better. I'm trying to fill a paper about cognitive distortions which I got from my psychologist. I hope it won't bring me down.
13(3) My brother used to have an aquarium. This night I dreamed about this tank and that we bought a mini jellyfish in it for my mother. The other fishes always attacked this jellyfish. Then suddenly ..
(6) I felt quiet good. One of my flatmate will move next month and maybe one of my friends is interested in her room. It would be nice to have that friend here.
(3) I've just took a new profile picture of myself and I'm constantly checking if that girl liked it. I really start to regret that I met her. We didn't talk since Saturday.
(1) It's starting to get worse. I should sleep... if she knew how much I miss her.
14(1) Lonely. Want to self h**m.
(1) I showed our flat to a friend who is interested in the free room but it was so tiring. I'm really out of energy. I self h*rmed in the afternoon at my workplace. I need a break from everything.
15(2) I'm glad that the day is over...16(4) Well rested. The day is not that bad. Last day at work before hospital. They haven't payed me yet, not even last month's salary. I talked with the boss, he said it'll arrive today. I really hope so...
(3) Okay. This week was really stressful and it's not over yet. I want to get drunk. I didn't really have the desire to spontaneously drink alcohol for a very long time. I feel little embarrassed.
(1) I should have listened to you. I shouln'd drink tonight. I feel terrible and I have nausea.
17(5) My stomach was upset through the day. I had to do my retuching job though. Today I talked with the girl aboht our future and family plans. I'm so glad that I met her. She made me rethink my goals. ...18(2) Terrible day again. I'm really nervous because of going to the mental health hospital. I had a minor argument with my mother. I cried. At the moment I feel okay again.19No Reasons
20(2) I am very anxious. Tomorrow will be the first day at the hospital. I wish someone was here who could come with me :(21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons