6.4 avg
  251 days
  1520 hugs
1(9) Happy New Year everyone! Spent 2 hours of yesterday watching Muse's concert from the same tour that I've seen live. Fun!2(8) My gf has given me tickets for The Phantom of The Opera for New Year's, and she's going with me even though the phantom is a narcissist and he pisses her off. That's love, definitely ?3No Reasons4(6) Feeling cozy, lazy and a little bit sad.5No Reasons6(5) Time to find some time for myself again. Meditation, reading up on psychology, all that. Monday studies start again, this is the perfect time.7(8) Badminton with both my friends. A 2 hour cardio plus a ton of fun. An experience to repeat regularly! Last day of vacation today, welcoming the routine but not the getting up at 6, nope :)
8No Reasons9(7) Been having nightmares; I asked my subconscious: what are you trying to tell me? A vague idea popped right into my mind: too many memories, my Guide is worried I might fall into old self-desrtuctive
(6) I've been feeling inadequate lately. Like, I should be more motivated and upbeat because my current situation is so good. Maybe it's just the contrast with previous time without meds?
10(4) As I explore my inner landscape and go deeper and deper I always hit the same wall: the masks that I wear, that I have to wear because of the innermost belief that I am defective at my core11(7) Got snowboarding pants today. Hard to find my size and I'm not even that fat ? where's the justice in that? I need sport more than skinny people! ? I still kinda love myself. Well done, me.12No Reasons13(8) Guess who won a badminton match today? Moi. I also retaped the handle on my racket. I'm 34 and I still get to have firsts. My friend had to put her dog down. My brother is celebrating a 2 year14(5) I really don't want to go anywhere right now. Hope it'll be fun once I'm there and outdoors. I'm sort of tired. Emotionally rather than physically.
15No Reasons16No Reasons17(6) Well, snowboard is not my thing, I don't like being attached so definitely to anything ? will try skiing today. Gotta find something to do here.18(5) Boy, do I suck at winter sports ? disappointed, or rather, scared of being disappointing. Overall mood is better, though. Gotta do some balance training.
(7) Swimming always makes me feel good. At ease, relaxed but strong. One thing that comes naturally to me. I wish I could try kayaking right now instead of skiing. First World problem right there ?
(6) When I look back on what my life was like a year ago I see I really don't have to be upset about anything. Everything I wanted to happen, happened. I need to work on the fear of losing it all now.sigh
(8) Final note: I've been writing in the last 3 days. It's a new approach, and it's so freeing. I've finally managed to get the expectations' weight of my shoulders. It feels amazing.
19(9) Yes, I go like mountain skiing!!! I can even turn left already. Not right, though, I usually fall over when I turn right ? still, not bad for one day.20(9) I've started to sort of understanding skiing this morning, it it's amazing! The little discoveries one makes when trying something new. For example, skiers look like jerks, because those shoes are a21(8) Did a lot of nothing today ((c) my Scottish exchange mom). Got 5 new songs for my guitar repertoire. Watched 'Amy' with I. Life is good.
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