4.8 avg
  626 days
  5995 hugs
  125 followers
January
MTWTFSS
 1(5) Happy new year, dear Pandas! ?? I'm wishing you all the best for 2019, and hope that it'll be filled with small and big achievements, happiness, contentment and health. Take it easy, dear ones.2(4) 30 min of snow calmed me down after having cried half of the night. Calm day, mentally exhausted.3(3) Tbh, I don't remember this day. At least not yet. According to some chats it doesn't seem to have been an enjoyable one, though.4(5) Dentist, Dinner with my grandpa and ma, then my memory is failing me again. What exciting days they have been, huh? ?5(4) Lonely, unmotivated, lethargic, uninspired, downward spiral. The usual, then.6No Reasons
7(5) Still generally bad mood, but calmer after having come back from vet. Blood work looks good, fingers crossed he'll feel better soon.8(3) Should be happy about some news, but instead just felt like crying all day. Decided against going back to Berlin again, troubled, worried, empty, overthinking, despairing.9(4) Back in Berlin. From 2 to 4 thanks to my therapist, who worked hard on getting me to see different perspectives. Emotionally and physically utterly exhausted.10(5) Tired and exhausted, but feeling a bit more hopeful. Trying to be normal, trying to wait for my time. Went grocery shopping, to work and yoga.11(5) 5,5 Work, shopping, mood pretty decent, got nothing done at home, though. Dissatisfied with lack of achievement lately.12(5) Bored, lazy, falling back into old habits. Bordering on 4, but trying to remind myself to be patient. Went out for 15 min (groceries), which was good.13(5) Similar to Saturday, though went on a stroll for almost an hour. Felt content afterwards, but then just stayed on my bed watching tv. Wasted time, dissatisfied.
14(5) Uni, sunshine, walked 10k, yoga. Mood improved throughout day, but felt tired and unfit the whole day.15(6) Cleaned flat, went to uni, did yoga (my own 30 day yoga challenge). Mood quite good, but still very tired and physically exhausted.16(5) Still not fully back into the habit of posting when it's relevant or at least once per day. // Extremely slow and unmotivated morning, therapy, uni, too little food, shopping, cooking, tv, no yoga.17(4) Suddenly full of regrets and melancholy. Can't stop the overthinking and maybe don't even want to stop it dragging me down.
(5) Mood improved slightly at work, much needed distraction even though it's boring af at the moment. Did two yoga sequences to make up for missed day yesterday. Tired.
18(5) PMS big time yesterday morning at work. Every tiny thing upset me. Long yoga session afterwards, felt pleasantly sore. Thoughts going ways I don't want them to go. Okay, though a bit lonely.19(6) 6 for the great weather, being outside for 3 hours and walking 12K. Otherwise too little food, no energy after walk, wasted time lazing about.20(4) Is this still PMS or am I just a petty b*tch? Not bad, not good, just meh. Want what I can't have and don't contribute to preserving what I have.
(5) Walked in the sun for a while, ate more regularly, did short yoga sequence, had a shower, continued procrastinating. Exams are in 3 weeks.
21(4) Bland. Bland me, bland mind, bland life.
(3) Sad
22(3) anxiety, severe lack of motivation, figuratively spinning in circles, overwhelmed, no idea how to express myself, withdrawing, detached
(5) Made it to uni despite it not looking like that at all this morning. Feeling calmer and more composed, though not sure why. Back home now and irritable again. I've the social skills of a baked potato.
23(4) Headache, unmotivated, up, down, therapy, tired, more or less just meh. Don't know what to do with myself.24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons
28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons