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  88 days
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  37 followers
January
MTWTFSS
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February
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March
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  1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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April
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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May
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
June
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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July
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
August
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29(6) ? netflix & green tea. ° found & wrote down two local helpline numbers in case i need 'em. it has been a rough six months, but i am trying to feel and be better. slow but sure. x30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31(8) best. nap. ever. ? feeling more at ease. ° podcasts & tea to enjoy the evening with. ??
September
MTWTFSS
    1(6) restless kinda night. ° must have been all of the tea 'n' coffee.. hope to get a decent nap in later. [lots of naps this week ?]
(9) productive day ??
2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(5) restless- no sleep tonight ° podcasts.
4(7) wide awake with music whilst the city sleeps.
(6) in bed with some books ° trying to take the time to read more.
(6) a friend o' mine asked me if i use a bullet journal. i do not- but i would love to make one! tomorrow's project perhaps? ? pandas, do any of you use a journal? if so, do you find 'em helpful?
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7(7) so much to do today- and i'm feeling hopeful. x8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(7) finally got some sleep °? today: more sleep & more self-care.10(8) 8 days in a row of taking my meds and i'm feeling better. a new record. hopefully i can keep it going. ° cleaning, reading, & resting- until i start walking to a pub with the beau after his shift.
11(5) no sleep. again. thank goodness for my cat & music during these lonely hours. ??
(7) have an interview tomorrow morning ° excitement has been replaced with nervousness. it has been so long.. hope it goes well.
12(7) got a decent night's sleep for once <3 ° interview today ° first things first, coffee & meds.
(4) interview didn't go well- quite bummed about it. ° a workout helped a little, and reading is somewhat relaxing- so there's that.. hoping to feel better tomorrow. x
13(7) disappointed about certain areas of my life -but i'm in the green & the sun! * went on a walking adventure around town for about 3 hours w/ the boyfriend. hot chocolate & pad thai stops were made. <3
(7) goals: weight loss ° job search ° build relationships ° play the piano.
(7) yoga before bed. ?
14(6) cleaning and fitness/meditation indoors, methinks. not feeling outside activities today.. ?15(6) two full weeks on meds: less of an appetite, gradual increase in energy, becoming social 'n' active again, less depressed & anxious... so far, so good. <316(6) down 10lbs. ° using a couple of calorie/weight trackers again -starting today. hopefully the tracking, communities and challenges will be an additional motivation.17(8) made a cherry cheesecake yesterday- but wasn't craving it. ° got my yoga & pilates workout on today- so i feel less useless this weekend + this cheesecake sounds more inviting.. note: add to food log.
18(9) should probably be doing more important tasks- yet i am sitting at the end of the couch groovin' to fun upbeat songs and checking my socials. ° pretty happy with my mood of 9, at the moment.19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons22(8) went out for breakfast & shopping with mum. the weather is warming up- a good start to the near weekend. ° plans: visit the in-laws, workout, enjoy the sun & apply for work. no luck; still hopeful.
(8) can't wait to test out new hair products for my short hair. :3
(3) exhausted. ° can't fall asleep. :c #restless
23(3) time is flying yet i am moving in slow-mo. last night's lack of sleep is messing with me.. wanna do everything & nothing..24(8) got a decent night's sleep + woke up to cleo beside me- she's soo cute! =^.^= ° going for a short outta the city drive & plan on bringing my camera. it has been ages since i've captured something! <3
(8) hope to get some decluttering & organization done tonight. work on my bullet journal {new layouts & collections} + bust my butt with this job search madness. [still no luck (9) drove today! only have my permit. so i only do it with someone in the car. ° i'm an okay driver- sometimes i am not in the mood; it isn't a great joy of mine- but i will go for my road test soon-ish.
(9) it is such a lovely warm day in autumn. ° visited the in-laws. gonna organize this evening, work on journal & practice the piano for awhile. :3 feels good to have a great day. x
25(4) in the red zone. ° when your efforts don't amount to anything.. 26(5) sent the dr.'s office an email early this morning. hopefully they can handle my meds before thanksgiving. {i'm canadian, eh!} x
(5) trying to nurse m'self back to health. haven't been feeling too well since yesterday -- nothing serious. lack of healthy eats & sleep probably. plus loads of additional stress. nothing new there. sigh
(3) i've been unemployed for over six months and it is really eating at me.. i don't know what to do anymore. all i do is stay in the apartment & drive myself additionally mad. just hate m'self sometimes.
(3) i do things w. my partner because i enjoy their company but when they're working- i'm a mess. being alone sucks. i have people but sometimes being around them makes me feel worse.. idk anymore.
27(7) thanks to pandas [carl b., ronnie r., cindy m.] for yr words & hugs yesterday. ° today: MEDS, resetting my pc, getting my cleaning done & piano practice in, looking into online courses & volunteering.
(8) picked up some groceries & .n. treated me to a healthy supper to go with my meds- something i needed. i would be so lost without him in my life. x <3 if only i could express my gratitude more.
(8) are there any pandas who take anti-depressants? if so, normally what time do you take yours? ° i have been taking them in the a.m. with breakfast- they help but i'm in a lazy state throughout the day
28(8) positive vibes & love on a FB status that i made. ° i haven't been on the site in ages- the short of it: wanted peeps to know that i'm still around, always use messenger & to send me their novellas. x
(8) there are soo many things that i want to do tonight- but sleep might be the better bet. ?
29(7) decent sleep- maybe meds-at-night are meant for me. ° visiting mum today. photo adventure on saturday. then hopefully a girls' night with j. i miss her and our talks + laughs over wine. x
(7) thanksgiving is coming up. thinking of having a mini-dinner & inviting a great friend because they don't really have anyone. they are such a selfless person & they have been there for me. a lot. x <3
30No Reasons
October
MTWTFSS
      1(7) 2.4 lbs down since last weigh-in. down 12 lbs overall. ?? slow go- but it's goin'. xx
(8) in a late evening cleaning & dancing mood. x <3
(5) wide awake & feeling hurt. ° listening to a classical music playlist in the dark- sometimes it helps with the heaviness on my heart.
2(8) trying to prioritize my quality of life. x
(6) about to embrace an intermittent fasting lifestyle. ° so many various changes in the works for this gal. x
3(6) zero sleep ° hoping for a morning nap & workout later. ?4(6) dr. appointment went well, i think. nothing special. ° 13 lbs. ?? ° feeling a little better since i've been eating healthier & working out. x
(7) stare the lion in the face. || heard some hard truths today- a few were hard to swallow but needed 'em at the same time. x ° it's time to get out of my own way.
5(3) in need of a nap before getting ready for the day. ° feeling below average- at the moment.. ?6(4) ???
(7) thanksgiving supper with the in-laws tonight. ° applied for a couple more jobs -- feeling a little more grateful + hopeful about my recovery; the now & the future. x
7(5) wearing a dress today ? ° this lifestyle shift: from poor to healthy has been great thus far. appearance and confidence wise. xx ?8(8) happy thanksgiving to my fellow canadian pandas! xo ?
(8) dinner at the parents' was amazing! ° n. is in cleaning mode & i am pro-nap right now. x ?
(7) people get upset when they don't hear from me for awhile. yet they don't make an effort to contact me..? why do i have to move the first piece? ° other than that, i am quite fabulous still. xo ?
9No Reasons10(5) laying in bed- knowing i have made no grand progress in over a year. idk what to do anymore.. ° long weekend is over. ate soo much- derailed. i have to start over: fitness & medication[s] wise. ¬_¬
(6) still in bed _ listening to jazz through spotify. trying not to think too deeply. ?? ° at least it's six & green worthy.
11(6) taking charge of my life. again. ° hitting the restart button. ??
(7) using a medication reminder/tracker app. ° trying to welcome different ideas this time around- hopefully it will be effective.
12(8) an ol' friend of mine sent me a message saying they're proud of me _ when it comes to getting back up over the years & keeping on with my recovery journey. ??13(8) messages through messenger disturbed my sleep -after that, i laid in bed & played a game. not a bad way to wake m'self up. now it's time to rise & take on the day. x ° ?? hope you have a decent day!
(8) thinking of having an at-home spa date with m'self. ?? just a full evening of relaxation. x
14(8) can't wait to take the clippers to my hair today ? short hair vibes ~ plus cleaning the apartment isn't so bad either. ° it's a gloomy yet calm saturday. love it. ?15(2) crying out of nowhere, or maybe something triggered this. i really don't know. sometimes crying can be healing -but it flippin' sucks right now.. #crumbling ° nothing is moving forward- i wanna sleep.
(2) the people around me are living -or surviving. and i am trapped in my own mind- frozen. ° maybe the lack of social interactions in my area, & the 6+ m. of unemployment are eating at me more & more...
(3) i want to be a better being- than i am presently. if a hiatus is needed -then bring it on. accountability n' guidance, perhaps. ° no idea where to start but in need of a change mightier than ever.
16(3) falling asleep at night has been so difficult. ° :c ° probably won't be able to shut my eyes until naptime.. ?
(5) it's nice to finally take the time to sit in my art space. <3 presently writing here -- listening to music & doing a creative brain dump. i am going to give artsy stuff as Christmas gifts this year. x
(2) sorry for all of the posts. i am all over the place today. still can't fall asleep -- and i have too much of a headache to paint. ? i feel so useless rn..
(7) sorbet & a movie [LOTR] with n. ??
(5) the lack of sleep lately has been getting ridiculous -- gonna try some stretches & meditation. x
17(8) about eleven hours of sleep. so happy ~ ?? ° might be a productive day on this end, afterall.
(7) in a re-organizing mood. saving the closet until the end bc i know i'm going to be super disappointed when i get in there. [i have nothing stylish nor professional- & it's going to discourage me lol.]
18(7) wide awake at four o'clock in the morning with n. & some tunes. ??
(1) i'm allowing the ppl in my life to get to me.. i need to seek anger management/help bc things have been awful this week- angry to an emotional wreck -- feeling like such an unpredictable mess..
(1) rest easy, Gord Downie. xo <3
19(1) massive headache - poor diet w. bad stomach pains [again] - anger & extreme crying, etc. ° gained all of my lost weight back. ° always starting over w. everything; i hate m'self most times..
(5) changed my mind × going to have a self-care day. ??
(2) the flu is kicking my ass. :'c
20(2) still super sick. × almost 5 a.m. i have been up & walking around- over 20 times. can't sleep and my joints are in an awful state. ° gonna go for a walk later, maybe. exhausted..
(5) if i'm not up by a certain time- cleo [my kitty] comes to check up on me. × so sweet; nurse cleo. =^.^=
(6) Stargate SG · 1 & snacks kinda night with n. ??
21(7) haven't smoked in about 4 years- yet purchased an e-vaporizer. the itch is back. * did a guided meditation for an hour; well i really slept for most of it. feeling a lot better. chili for supper. xo
(5) finally decided on an online course to take. ° realization: i have been out of school for 10 years. wowz.. ° now to work on finding employment & making money again to pay for the payments- and so on..
22No Reasons
23(5) job searching again today. scared to get back into the workplace- it has been soo long.. thinking & feeling i won't be able to do basic duties, etc. where did my confidence & drive go? :c
(7) pizza party for two. ??
24(3) restless night. ° mind is on overload.
(4) don't wanna get out of bed today.. it is gloomy outside and every time i try to better m'self it doesn't work, whatsoever. ° hopeless feels. ?
(5) milkshake for supper. ° hope to develop a daily routine soon. i miss having some sort of structure..
25(6) outside to enjoy the breeze & clear my head. ° writing & trying to come up w. different ways to put myself back together. if you have any advice or stories of bouncing back, feel free to share. x <3
(5) hope a job comes along soon.. :c
26(6) lazy day ? ° craving all of the goodies today ??~
(5) found about twenty decent job posts. now to find the courage to apply for 'em. not feeling qualified for even the basic things, at the moment- or for the last decade. i miss having confidence & drive.
27No Reasons28(5) mega tired. ° lazy day or photo adventure. ?? decisions, decisions..
(8) took in the nice autumn air and scenery during today's drive with n. i wasn't overly camera happy- but added five new photos to my instagram that i'm happy with. ??
(8) almost midnight _ today was a decent day. nothing big happened but it was great to be out in the amazing crisp air. * tomorrow will be a day of cleaning then relaxation -- possibly some reading. x <3
29(6) laying-in-bed thoughts: shuffled playlist played a few Katatonia songs in a row. x ° wish i went to see 'em when they were here with Opeth a few years ago. ° anyway. good morning, pandas! ?
(5) makes me frustrated & sad when i want to express myself to the important people in my life. but they don't give me the time of day or think 'oh. this is just typical jess. no big.' behaviour.. (7) on a 'brighter' note: i am gonna get a buzz on, listen to more tunes, and do some sunday cleaning. × ??
(5) gonna set an alarm for an early morning. ° it's supposed to rain like crazy tomorrow- but hoping to ask at least one person to go for coffee or something this week. it has been ages.. baby steps.. ×
(5) someone sent me a text -right after my MP post- to hangout this week. well then. ??
(5) tomorrow's agenda: have a bottle of homemade wine, browse for work, try different hairstyles, meditate- and read whilst listening to the rain periodically.
30(7) relaxing in my jammies already with a beverage while n. handles supper. × love peaceful moments. ??
(7) no depression, no anxiety. ? ° going to meditate then catch some z's. xx ° thank you for being here, pandas. it is so warming to know that i am not alone- and have you in my corner. ??
31(7) six:twenty-two a.m. · woke up to a message from someone. information about an online course. i don't have the money for it- but hopefully i can figure something out.
(7) enough is enough. i really want to take this course, work again annnd go back to school. gonna make some calls, send some emails and pay a few visits. there have to be ways to make 'em happen.
(2) kinda scary how things can go south so quickly.. ?? just wanna crawl under a rock..
(1) apparently i have changed over the last six months.. someone told me that i have stopped caring about them, someone else & myself.. × as if i wasn't low enough already- gee, thanks bud.. cheers! ?
November
MTWTFSS
  1(5) spending the day out & about. × yummy hot chocolate to warm me up first thing. × love autumn time -- enjoy wandering and pondering, at times.
(8) decent ° productive day ~ got some things done- supper was delicious- got some nice visiting time in. × did a friend a favour but they didn't seem to appreciate it. anyway, the only downside of today.
2(6) 'give me a sign'. ° hanging out with a buddy of mine this evening. it has been forever ~ kinda excited, kinda nervous. ugh- stomach is turnin'. × hair and makeup mood.
(10) spent the evening with three amazing people, plus spoke to & paid a compliment to my least favourite person. it has been an eventful night! lookin' fine and bein' bold. love it! xo ??
3(7) exhausted- yet i can't sleep.. × breakfast in the a.m. with my best gal friend. ????hope i don't fall asleep at the table. ??
(6) i have messed up- more than a lot- in soo many areas of my life. but i have been working extremely hard to make things better lately from here onward. xx my heart hurts a lot yet i'm still hopeful.
(3) can't tone down my thoughts tonight.. ugh. i want to sleep so badly.. ?
4(5) five:twenty a.m. || still can't sleep & stomach is turnin' || my weekend work gig isn't until the afternoon- but i might start getting ready now. slowly.5(2) × not confident enough for anything anymore. × everything seems to be backfiring. × got into a heated argument this evening. ° just done for the night..
6No Reasons7(7) my boyfriend's buddy called me and asked if i wanted a job. so i went down to the convenience store last night -- for an interview. the whole experience was sketchy ~ plus the neighbourhood is rough..8No Reasons9No Reasons10No Reasons11No Reasons12No Reasons
13No Reasons14No Reasons15(8) long time- no read, pandas! sorry for the neglect -- i have new news: i am working again!!! it has been a long rusty and dusty seven plus months of unemployment but i have a job for the holidays!16(5) third day of work- and i worked by m'self for a full shift. score! it feels sweet to be back in the retail world -- even if this job is only seasonal.
(3) thought of s.h. during work though. it was tough- it has been over a decade. i kept snapping a hair elastic around my wrist, even though it's not the same. my anxiety still comes in massive waves..
17(6) gonna get ready and head to work early -- since i really don't wanna ride the bus with the high school students today ? haha. xx
(7) all trained at work. × got to see a bunch of my peeps throughout today. so happy they stopped to chat and express their congratulations! xo ??
18(5) cannot dim my intense thoughts -- hope to find other things to fill my days with so i am not driving m'self mad and not feeling suic-to-the-idal. any input is welcome. xx T.I.A.19No Reasons
20(7) applied for six jobs this evening. i will do another thorough search before work tomorrow night. || looking for another part-time job. || what has been your favourite job- if any? xx ??21(7) when you have the day off & you can lay in bed all day- if you wanna. ?? × busy week ahead. until then, a whole lot of relaxation. ???
(6) trying to plan out my outfits for the next two weeks.. 'tis the season. & hoping to find another job before my eight weeks are up at this one. #seasonal #work
22(2) i felt so f'n useless all day. i wanna cry- but nothing is happening. × i don't know why i bother trying to improve myself & putting myself back out into the world. i suck at everything, it seems..23(5) black friday sale starting tomorrow @ work. it is going to be a looong weekend.. × sleep is gonna be impossible tonight- so restless! · might listen to podcasts & style my hair around 3 a.m., no big.24(2) survived black friday- loved the rush of it. people towards the end were awful.. however, i am off for a week- for now. × gonna watch a show on netflix, relax & eat snacks tonight. · hella depressed..25(3) was supposed to have breakfast w/ someone, but i didn't wanna go. just don't wanna do much of anything- except self-care & photography. || also realized, i left my phone charger at work, but whatevs.26(6) goals: picture-taking & self-care.
27No Reasons28(6) gift wrappin' & tree trimmin'. ??[at mom & dad's for the day] ?? × starting to feel a little more festive.29(2) last day off. all i want to do is stare out the window at the foggy sky- but i know that's not a good idea. × so much to do.. ugh.
(1) having horrible thoughts so much lately.. × going to take a nap; hopefully i will feel alright in a few hours.
30(5) working an extra hour and a half. more energy than i planned for -- but that's okay. xx
(5) wore my hair extensions to work. they looked great in the a.m. -- but i find they become a nest & a mess so fast. they were cheap online and it was nice -for a day.
December
MTWTFSS
    1(5) spending time with the parents tomorrow. hopefully my day off remains a day off. × one more month of this job. i'm actually gonna miss it, tbh. yet- on to the next adventure. xo2(5) wish i could sleep all day & weekend. ° but i am proud of m'self for putting m'self back out there. ?? × steady fives lately.
(5) short shift tomorrow which is exciting. × hope time flies by so i can sleep for a full day. ??
3(6) ? 18 lbs. × i may not look it, but i feel it! ??
(5) work hours increased for me. × wanted part-time because i like my down-time during the crazy season. but full-time might be alright; it's only until the end of december anyway.
(5) supper then a movie and some snacks. ?? trying to make better choices everyday. xo
4(5) yarn braids didn't work out. ? * at least my bookshelf never disappoints. || over-sized sweater, hot chocolate and books! ????5(2) the thought and the topic of work gives me so much anxiety lately.. i have no idea why but i want to avoid it at all costs and cry all the time.. what's wrong with me? :'c6(5) loads and loads of rain. || looks like a taxi to work kinda day. trying to look forward to the ten-hour shift instead of dreading it. [good luck, jess.] xx7(6) yesterday was awful ~ felt ill during work. once i arrived home, took a sleeping aid & went to bed. || woke up refreshed for once. * gonna make a warm drink, do some writing then get ready for work.
(6) hoping to go to the bookstore before work. shops like 'em help me breathe a little easier. xx also, hoping to make time to handle some free online classes. in need of an outlet; learning & creativity.
8(5) : midnight drawing session- and listening to the our lady peace 'clumsy' album because it's still my favourite. xo
(7) purchased a new 17-month agenda yesterday at the bookstore. it is so pretty ^_^ ~ it will give off the vibe that i have my sh*t together, but i truly don't. shh! ;) the stationery section is my go-to!
(5) landed a little second job for a week or two- and it doesn't interfere with my other work. so it will be a rush- i miss being busy-busy.
(5) supper, whisky & cleaning kinda friday evening with the other half. ××
9(2) super anxious everyday.. i wish i could function better throughout my days- without the feeling of giving up.10(1) the moment when everything seems to be falling apart..
11(5) started the 2nd job today. it was decent ~ it was nice to work at one job then the other in the same day. made the time fly. || back at 'em until christmas. ?12No Reasons13(4) can't fall back to sleep. so i am listening to music & staring at the raindrops on the window. thank you street post for your assistance. ?
(4) : does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? ?
(4) when you want to put the dusty broken mirror of a decade-old friendship back together but you know it's beyond repair & you keep cutting yourself on all of the glass.
(3) sleep-aid, music, zzz's. × tomorrow: job one then job two. c'mon, no-alarm friday!
14No Reasons15(3) had high hopes for sleep, but nope! it's 3:30 a.m. × maybe a late morning nap is the plan.
(2) wanna cry but i can't. wanna fall asleep- and i can't do that either. so many thoughts are devouring me right now.. & i'm supposed to do something later on today- but i might just lay in bed instead..
(2) disappointing day/night off. || work for eight days straight starting tomorrow.. || hopefully i can actually fall asleep tonight..
16(4) day 01 of 08: completed. || bought two pairs of leggings from work & a nail care kit from the place beside the pop-up. gonna have a self-care evening tomorrow. xo ? much needed.17No Reasons
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