.9 avg
  40 days
  511 hugs
  30 followers
January
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February
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March
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  1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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April
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
May
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
June
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
July
MTWTFSS
     1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
August
MTWTFSS
 1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25No Reasons26No Reasons27No Reasons
28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons
October
MTWTFSS
      1No Reasons
2No Reasons3No Reasons4(0) 5No Reasons6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons
9No Reasons10(1) 11(0)
(0) I tried to commit suicide last saturday??
12(1) Today im goin to school for the first since i tried the suicide... Im scared. I want to tell the truth Why i was sick, im sick inside, i didnt just had a flu.... (Sorry for bothering ya all?)
(0) No one notices my tears? No one notices my sadness? No one notices my pain? No one notices my cuts? All they notice are my mistakes... #im-a-mistake #no-one-notices-me
(2) I went home early from school, i was freaking out in my head. I just cant handle stress right now. feel like crying. but my parents are home so i have to keep it on the inside... I feel so miserable?
(3) just cried real hard, Actually it makes me quite relaxed now. I hope i can sleep well tonight?, every night i wake up with nightmares. Past few days they where about my suicide??? sleepwell u all
13(0) I woke up at around 4 am. Again nightmares. They feel so real, its sometimes quite scaring. Tonight i dreamed that my cuts where bleeding thru my sweater, and that my mother would see em....
(0) OK i f*cked up.... I just harmed myself again... I really need to throw the knife away. Im really dissapointed in myself... #faillure #dissapointed #im-a-mistake
(5) Feeling a but better, watchin a movie with my mom, cuddling with my doggie. Im relaxed for first in few weeks. I still feel my wrist hurting, but i try to ignore it....
(2) Tomorrow 2 of my friends r coming over, im Actually quite nervous.... Im so affraid they'll soon see my like i see myself? and that they'll leave me......
14(1) Today my friends came over, it was quite fun. Also i dyed my hair, purple?. Helped my mom dye her hair too. I did something wrong, she lashed out on me. Saying i always mess up, that i always...15(0) Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh i'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl i am.... Isn't me.... The girl is a monster living in my head, not under my bed..?
16(4) I had a busy, $hitty day at school.... But... In an hour going to sport or first in two weeks, i just love judo17(0) You know my name, not my story You see my smile, not my pain You notice my cuts, not the scars underneath. You can read my lips, but not my mind. Cause in my mind live monster who try to drown me in..18(0) My sister is in hospital???
(1) Today my english teatcher told us to write a poem, it coul be anonymous. We should just write how we felt. So i did... I act like i'm rough, i act like i'm tough. But deeply i'm....
19(0) Yesterday i talken to my brother about how i feel, sort of... I didnt told him i cut myself, and also not that i tried to commit $uicide... He was already shocked. But he told me he had...
(0) Feel so bad? harmed myself again, it did feel good tho... I just have to much stress, and i feel so stupid... I wish i was dead rn
20(0) I killed someone, you see... I killed the happy girl who used to be me............
(0) Wanna die, cant think of anything else, thought about it the whole day.... If i was home alone right now, i would kill myself..... #wannadie #fml #faillure
21(0) I always try to help my familly. I comfort them, hug them, tell em everything is gonna be ok. While i comfort them, they dont realise i need help and comfort too.. Im dying inside and they dont notice
(0) Since yesterday, i only thought about killing myself.... My first attempt 2 weeks ago failed, but i'm doubting if i should try again soon.... I think i maybe will.... Don't feel like living anymore...
22(0) Same like yesterday??
(0) Ughhh, watched a movie with my brother, 'bout bullying.. In movies the bullies r always full of regret... In real life they're not. I told my class last year how i felt, they arent regretting anything
(0) Accidently slit my thumb while harming myself, it was bleeding real bad, i went downstairs, told my mother it was an accident. She believed me right away, didn't even bother to ask how it came...??
23(0) Picked up my knife again.... I hate that i can't seem to let the knife go, im also tryin to get a razor, i almost have one, it's really hard to sperate from the others though.... Im really angry at me
(0) I can't do this, and i don't want to act like i can anymore.... I give up...
24No Reasons25No Reasons26(0) My parents where gone 2 days, i tried to commit $uicide again.. Failed again. I feel so down. Parents still don't know.? i feel like if i tell, they'll lock me up in a mental hospital or something?
(0) I know i need help... Im just to affraid to ask...???
27(0) Still feel so down, it hurts so much, physically and mentally... ?28No Reasons29(0) Feel like harming myself again?
(0) My mom and stepdad are fighting, she wants to leave him. It makes me cry so hard, he was there for me when my real dad wasn't, he is in my life 10 years, my real dad 7.... My mother wants to wait....
30(0) I didn't eat anything for almost a whole day, ain't hungry, not even a bit
(0) Harmed myself again, stress was just to much?
31(0) Even with some sleepingpills i couldn't sleep.... I'm soooo tired I'm tired og being tired, and i'm tired of feeling down and depressed.....?
(0) Crying in the librarycorner of school... Had awfull flasbacks when i saw someone... Last year he said i was a miscarrige, but he doesnt know how it hurts me, cause i almost would have been one if...
(0) https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLjAR2OnGgGFedmwwO6ChhILFj4V3Z5BtA¶ms=OAFIAVhD&v=WGgyiHrjN5w&mode=NORMAL Feel like this a lot, mostly every day... I listen to it often
November
MTWTFSS
  1(0) Haven't slept at all tonight, im now already 32 hours straight awake.... It drives me crazy, feel like jumping of a bridge rn..... Im so tired of everything
(2) Still very tired, but i'm used to it by now...I will try to not harm myself for atleet until after nov. 10 th. Cause i am going to be a mascotte? and people there cant see me with cuts so... I'll try
2(0) Life is like a movie, i've sat through a big part of it and it sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. Then Why should i stay?
(0) Stole a few sleeping pills from my mom, i know it is bad to steal, but this week i've only slept for around 7 hours in total... So i really need to sleep, 1 pill doesn't work so i'll take a few...
3(0) Wow, the sleepingpills are still working, i'm like a sleepzombie walking around school. But rn i don't have any anxienty, that is nice tho4(3) Home alone right now... I really need to push away my feelings not to cut myself again, but i havent for the last 3 days. So I'm quite proud of myself?
(4) Had a very fun day with BF? , it was cheering me up much Always when i'm around him i forget my depression. But i'm always affraid i'll lose him tho, wouldnt know what to do if i would....
5(0) Why can't i push my negative thoughts away???? cutted again, more than once.... I am sooo mad at myself... Wanna cry, also wanna scream, also wanna talk, but im empty if i try to express it verbal...
6(2) Struggeling to stay awake... Ughh so tired??
(0) My mom is going in therapy, she can't handle the stress and lack of sleep, she cries every day. But so do i... I actually want help too, i'm just affraid to ask....
(0) Days will pass and turn into years, but i'll always remember your hurtfull words with silent tears.....?
7(0) I've been crying all night? don't wanna go to school?
(0) Finding refuge in my own lies. How are you? 'I'm doing alright...' Small talk is a great disguise. Just let me be, just let me be. Empty thoughts start to vroed my mind. Am i only living, living to...
8(0) Stole a few more sleepingpills, i need them... Otherwise i wont sleep, sometimes for 1, 2 or even 3 days, and it aint healthy... I need to sleep....9(0) My heart is like a piece of paper, once it is made into a plug, you will never get all the wrinkles out again... No matter how hard you try ....
(2) Tomorrow i'm going to be a mascotte for a Lego league competition at my school. I only have one cut that is easy to see.... So i think i did quite well with trying to not cut... Exited for tomorrow?
10(5) I'm exited for the Lego league!!?? feel a bit better than yesterday luckilly11(6) Yesterday was soooo much fun! Many people wanted a picture of the mascotte and team. Also during the breaks i coul be with my bf? everyone said that how we act together are 'couplegoals' haha?
(6) Totdat i have a 2 months relationship with bf already??? my day is great
12(0) Had mutiple nightmares tonight... About my past bullies... Write a little poem about it, i do that often... They wrote words that cause me pain in te sand, but i washed it away...
(0) I was cleaning my room when i found the empty pillcases of my last $uicide-attempt... I got a panick atack and i started sweatting and feel dizzy.... I was trying to forget it and get past it...
13(0) Another day where kids yell at me and make fun of me and my clothes and hair.... Wanna cry? they say i'm an emo... Bull$hit!
(0) It's now definite, my mom and stepdad are going to seperate after 10 years.... My mom is crying so hard, it makes me so sad too.........
14No Reasons15(0) Found out that my brother is selfharming too, i quitted it a week ago... I was shocked, but i'm helping him, i took the blades and keept them on my room, it is temptating but i wont touch them.... We16No Reasons17(0) ??feeling depressed18(5) I'm going to be a mascotte today again? only thing bothering me is that i have to wake up at 5 am? still very tired?19(0) I had the chance to kill myself today...But i didn't, i couldn't leave my depressed Bro and my mom who is already in therapy... I really wanted to do it tho, it was really hard to resist? crying rn?
20(0) During judo, i had a fight with someone... He told me im an emo and told me i only needed to cut myself, he asked how i could kill myself faster, horizontaal cuts or vertical... I told him many times21(2) Feeling down, but a bit less than yesterday... To look it from the bright side.....
(0) And awake again... Flashbacks judo yesterday and the things L said to me....? sad and angry
22(5) https://www.instagram.com/p/BbFHuGEBjvG/ Happy Bday dear boyfriend?????? (@ my insta no one knows how i feel most of the time...)23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons