4.8 avg
  447 days
  1616 hugs
 1(6) Spent New Years on a phone call with my friends and then slept2(3) I'm really unsure. Not of anything in specific but I'm identifying myself going 'down' which is good because it means I have more chance of stopping it from happening. Unfortunately, I don't know the3(3) 3:08am. Bad. Bad. Bad. More lines. Why. Dont know. Had 'conversation' with mother, she told me to pi55 off in the end. I don't know what happened. Lost the plot.
(5) I've found an album recording of the 1960s production of Jeeves and Wooster. Rather good to be honest.
(3) Cried on the phone to my mother. She's at home by I can't stand to see her at the moment. But I have to otherwise nothing's get solved.
4(4) Decent time at Youth club. Glad for the distraction for the short period. Now I'm back with my thoughts, heevs chrisy5(6) Finally got round to watching Wilde and I cannot express at how beautifully made this was and that they could not of chosen better casting. Stephen Fry and Jude Law were phenomenal!6(5) Ask friend for tips on eating healthily because I'm too thin for my high waisted jeans that used to be too tight.
(5) Reading along to Mythos with the audiobook playing also. Decided I want to read but advance in the audiobook. Let's do it simultaneously.
7(3) Need to get my sleeping into check, I have to leave for school at 11:30am. And I've only just woken up after sleeping at 4am
(5) In taxi on way to school, not bad. Extremely quicker than a bus. We're already halfway there after four minutes.
8(5) Woke up 30mins before my alarm. Slowly getting back to a hewlthy routine.
(4) Different taxi driver. Headache. School made sure he knew where and to I was going to confirm it was a substitute. If we veer from home I'm bailing out the doors saftey first lads.
(3) Someone I cut out of my life can't grasp the concept I cut them it of my life. Gets all annoyed when I told them to leave me alone. Explained why I did it. Waiting reaponse.
9(2) Got CAMHS today, an emergency appointment and my mother is there. That's when you know you're truly smegged.
(3) In class, not looking forward to thing whole CAMHS thing.
(4) CAMHS worker is concerned for my well-being and mental health. Extremely concerned for the switches between angry and impulsive to somewhat neutral and a bit manic in my talking.
(4) I'm not one to really enjoy fast food, except the occasional Chinese but I'm craving a McDonald's and ugh I know as soon as I eat it, it'll just leave my body a few hours later. I just want McDonald's
10(4) Just confided in three of my teachers about yesterday.11(5) Waiting for Mr. Taxi man.
(3) Myself and a classmate had a moment in science. I left the class first and then she did, we both went warm and that makes us both feel crap. It was almost synced.
12(5) A fairly neutral day today, despite the moment in science and the row with my sister. Just doing some writing before I go to sleep, I wonder if I can lucid dream. Work tomorrow, can't wait.
(5) My twitter drafts are something else 'If a short person waves at you it's called a 'micro wave'.'
(3) Trying to control my anger with my niece pestering me about playing sims 24/7 is proving to be difficult
(6) Stood my ground and she's gone home crying.
13(3) Sick of my mood changing what seems every five minutes. Anger currently. Locked myself away for the day.
(5) Have my English Language Mock tomorrow, I hope I can associate the creative writing tasks with one of my interests. Otherwise I'm screwed.
14(4) 2:22am, no motivation to sleep, move or even get up. Had a high earlier, can I have another during the exam please. Mind you I'd probably get kicked out. CAMHS worker is getting another list on Tues
(4) Anxiety attack over my English mock I have today.
(5) Maybe if I convince myself I don't care about my exams I'll be alright.
(5) Had a sing song now I'm doing a lot better, bring on the day I hope it's good and I stay level within' my moods.
(7) I'm on a high not nervous but feel a bit off.
(7) English mock over, was on a high throughout the whole of it. Bloody Brillaint.
(4) Stopped revising, my back and ribcage hurt from sitting in one position taking notes and going over them.
15(5) I think getting the first major exam or of the way is the important thing. For me anyway, I'm oddly relaxed and know what to expect even though the exams are different each day ????? 5 bc neutral.
(5) Science mock went well, got 25mins of project left then therapy and then CAMHS.
16(4) Got a PIP assessment, allowed to skip school until my exam
(2) Left 24 out of 31 questions blank on my mock maths exam. Went outside on a phonecall to my mother and cried.
17(5) Just been told to log into MoodPanda, got washed with anxiety when it didn't log in the first time. Thankfully it logged in. I would not deal with loosing all my data.
(5) My aunts had a car crash
(3) Result of refusing work is building a dinosaur and colouring.
(3) Feel like I'm going to pass out and won't be home in less than five minutes (I'm going to my youth club but I don't want to because I feel this way.)
18(3) Been going to bed feeling ill for the past week, the day I feel okay in the evening I have the worst back ache I've ever had keeping me awake.
(3) Anxiety attack. I wish for it all to stop this isnt fair.
(3) Had day off from school, pains and aches left me feeling absolutely awful. Carried on throughout the day have only now died down.
19(5) Small ache in my theoratic spine, and dull ache toward the bottom. However it's nothing I haven't dealt with before and i have appointment on 6th Feb to get things sorted.
(5) Gotten another hamster, not sure what I'm going to call him
20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
21(5) I've currently got an urge to eat toast, toast is my new thing and I could binge on it if I had lost self control. I'm not sure why but this is extremely odd.22(4) Had a moment in maths, kept overheating and had to leave twice. I just said forget it in the end and stayed outside only returning inside to get my things to go home.23(4) Need to up my education game and excel on everything I'm failing on. Maths to begin with, also down to the watchers to teach me instead of constantly switching teachers every 30 seconds.
(5) So many things to fix, I need to fix my diet (so I healthily gain weight I'm a stick and it's taking its toll) my grades. Thankfully I have the doctors on Feb 6th do my diet I should be able to get he
24(2) Refused to look around a college because it's quite far and it requires going on the bus :))) I'm not ready to grow up and have no idea what I want to do again.25(6) Listening to Mythos before school, almost finished it and it's sad I've almost finished it. Oh well, I need Heroes now I can't wait.
26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27(6) Back on the audiobooks, oh how I've missed the Greek myths. I've finished Mythos and I'm now on Stephen's second book, Heroes.
(3) Can you block people in real life? I need a block button on my sister.
28(5) I've got a slight reaction to peanuts after consuming about 3, and then I'm lactose intolerant: I am craving Peanut M&M's and Cheesecake. Both of which I cannot have, dear god help me ??
(5) Got my predicted grades back today, can someone please tell me what a TLM IT distinction is?...I don't see my IT teacher until Tuesday. Otherwise my grades seem okay.
29(4) Listening to Heroes whilst I work on my drawing of Stephen Fry. Got CAMHS tomorrow again and need to talk about all my built up anger..Drawing is going good though, I'm happy with it so far.
(2) CAMHS was 'fun' I broke down toward the end when she spoke 'So when should I see you again' been feeling low, frustrated, angry and full of resentment...
30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31(5) So cold. Youth club tonight :)
(5) Youth club tonight. Felt ill at school, I'm alright now.
    1(4) Debating to continue on with English when I go to college. After being 5 marks away from an A it gives me hope I can peruse English if all goes wrong.2(6) Work today, wishing for it go well and maybe befriend the pup called Monty.3(5) All set for works 1st open anniversary! Now I just need to sleep and probably wash my hair it's a disgrace ?
(7) Work was wonderful! The pugs visited with a new one called pixie! I got to snuggle with her a few times.
4(4) Feel ill, which I could really do without. Have an upset stomach and will be needing to catch the bus on Tuesday to school. Yay, change, bloody brilliant.
(5) Watching Last Chance to see and sketching some of the animals they encounter, so far have a manatee and a southern white rhino. The rhino went well considering I've never drawn one ever before.
(4) Was itiching like mad earlier, just had a bath and then walked into a door handle and cut myself open on said door handle. Doorframes and handles have it in for me this year.
5(1) No.
(3) I feel like cutting all the people I know offline off and then starting again..I often have this urge I just don't act on it. Maybe if I did I'd feel better.
(2) Feel like leaving. May go on a walk. Not sure where to or how long. I just want to go.
(3) Anxiety messing up after my body rejected the food. Seriously need to discuss my diet with the doctor tomorrow...got a meeting at school on Thursday.
6(5) Taking advantage of my father being off work so I actually go to school for today.
(4) Walked home from school, covered two and so miles in thirty minutes, plan to walk further than the hospital tomorrow and finally all the way home or so eventually.
7(5) Any good tips or apps for food diary keeping? Getting ahead of the game before I have to go back to the doctors.
(5) It's pouring it down..this'll be fun to walk back in if it's still raining. Not quite figured out how I'm getting there yet.
8(7) Not sure if I posted yesterday? Should be good tomorrow I have people coming over to hit them with frying pans. We're going full bottom.9(8) Got friends over10(5) I really want to finish my Stephen Fry drawing but then I'm too involved with this fanfiction I'm reading, it's so good I can see myself procrastinating everything just to finish it.
11(6) Better week this week it seems. May be Monday but it's good and I apologise for lack of updates.
(4) Oh and I cried at the fanfiction I'm still reading. Death hits hard when it's fictional. Real like however I don't seem to be too fussed bizarrely.
12(4) At CAMHS, not looking forward to school after but I need to go see my therapy dog.
(6) CAMHS was alright, spoke about my father and emotional well-being and my coping with anxiety which has replaced itself with numbness. Will be discharged soon.
13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(5) One more day and then I break up for school.
(5) Happy V.Day pandas ?
15(4) Bussing it to hospital to meet teacher who will proceed to take me to school. Last day today thankfully16(4) Need someone to cuddle and talk to. Remembered why I stuck the group on mute and wanted to cut them out of my life :)))
(4) Going to need to find something to do that releases energy because I can feel the adrenaline worse before I sleep. Help anyone?
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
18(3) Cut someone off, which means accidentally cutting the rest of umbrolley off because they were my main source of getting to umbrolley.
(3) Hello anxiety my old enemy, the tremors and feeling ill was not something I was looking forward to returning.
(5) I've found that laying in my mothers bed when feeling horrible actually helps somewhat. It's close to the ground, smell like my mother and generally makes me feel better.
(6) Stephen Fry Reading in a soft voice on the app Calm will always calm me and put me to sleep. He could be talking about paint drying and I would listen. His voice is jsut so calming.
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(5)
(6) I finished my Stephen Fry drawing, I've started a script for a video and I'm seeing Lola the bulldog tomorrow. I've completed some things which have made me feel better. I just have to tidy my room.
21(7) I've cut photos out photos Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie's face and suck their faces onto our family photos...Just waiting to see how long it'll take for my mother to find everyone.22(6) Extending my visit to Lola to an hour and a half because she is a bit off it all :(
(6) Lola is very fed up with this pregnancy!
23(5) Tired, should sleep. I have work tomorrow.
(3) I'm emotionally distressed about a dog that's not even mine, but I have a bond and emotional connection to. Lola the dog. I can only hope to god nothing goes downhill.
24(3) I could cry, my bath ran freezing cold because someone horned the hot water off ?
25(6) I had a shower instead and got hyped because I'm going to town tomorrow to meet a friend and go clothes shopping with my sister.
(6) Got two Jeeves books, a new short sleeved button up, a T-shirt and a Beatles notepad! Can't wait to read my Jeeves books.
(5) Reading Jeeves and the King of Clubs. Proving to be good so far, obviously it's not as good as Wodehouse but is still good.
26(5) Science, double project, therapy dog and then town with my friend.
(6) Lola has her puppies today, I was called over and asked if I could help with feeding.
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(4) Unfortunately three pups have passed and anothe isn't looking too great. We prepared ourselves for death as it was a litter of thirteen inside a tiny dog.
(2) Dear school, give me one grade instead of three different grades for my English mock exam prediction. Thank you. I've taken my mocks so it shouldn't be hard.
2(7) Got Molly and Maisy, two dogs from work over today :D Just been to puppy play and now they're back home with me having a nap before the walk home.3(6) Seeing the pups everyday to help my manager out...can't wait. I better start stopping cutting the caffeine out my life..I'll be needing it to keep awake and up with these pups.
4(5) I really want to do something out of clay but what?5(3) CAMHS
(2) Three meltdowns, I'm wide awake but tired, unfortunately infection spread through he litter and more than half the litter have passed, we're down to six now. Had CAMHS this morning (MD 1) and today
6(4) Although I've had limited sleep I'm not tired.
(5) Visited the pups this morning, all is okay for the moment. Not tired or hungry and forgot my granola snack, I will probably eat us out of house and home when I get home.
7(8) Had a cuddle with the pups that are okay for the moment, Lola is eating better today which is good news and I could just fall asleep next to them they're all so warm. ????????8(6) Decent day at school, can't wait for tomorrow going to look at cats :D9(4) 10(4) Having that fizzy drink and a few haribo at night was a really bad idea..I remember now why I stopped drinking fizzy drinks and cut most sugars out. Yay for the tremors from it :))
(4) On an upside I did finish cleaning my room none stop just got to hoover it tomorrow and then have a bath myself
(5) Tripped yesterday and did my arm in, we think i may of torn something or damaged the soft tissue around my shoulder joint. Dull ache constantly and hurts when I move so, always fun.
11(6) Arms a little better today, got ibuprofen gel and with the pups.12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(6) With the pups every morning this week except Sat and Sun. they're two weeks old and are now hugeeeee14(3) I don't know
(4) Had an anxiety attack during English, managed to catch the early signs of it and teacher just put her watch on me so I didn't have to manually count my heart beat. It was high. Before English I had
15(4) Had a P.I.P assessor in, they came for an hour and a half for more information. The other guy was here 15mins and didn't ask the questions she did. No wonder people don't get it no matter how disabled
(6) Does it feel like 2am for anyone else or is that just me? I'm usually asleep by now, 10:20pm, since I've changed my sleeping patten. Oh well I'll finish this chapter and then sleep. Night all ??
16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(4) Feeling ill and have a headache in three places :))
18(3) Could do with the whole day off but I've got school and I feel incredibly ill.19(5) Half and half. Not feeling too bad not feeling too bad.
(6) Spray painted the school's shutters today, saw my therapy dog and now with the puppies.
20No Reasons21(5) On my way to look around a college feeling alright.22No Reasons23(6) I suppose I've been doing alright. I've got the top half of my red dwarf cosplay done! Got to order the trousers tomorrow and then I'm done! H is ordered and the patches are ironed on!24No Reasons
25No Reasons26(4) I don't want to go to school today...but were spray painting so I have to because I actually enjoy messing up my hand.27No Reasons28(2) Headache and two meltdowns yesterday. So much fun :I
(4) Didn't expect to be doing my speaking and listening test again ? Just because it's too quiet yet I was shouting down the mic.
(5) Youth club soon, I haven't been in six weeks...
29No Reasons30(7) MoodPanda s works again!31No Reasons
1(4) I'd much rather stay home with my cat than go anywhere today.
(5) Did a play in English, was actually very good. Apparently my teacher said I needed a bigger part. Perhaps after Level Two I can do Level Three acting at college.
2(5) Okay- at school3(6) I actually can't wait to see the puppies tomorrow4(6) Last lesson in five minutes can't wait for school to be over then I can go home.5(5) I'm awake and feel sick. On the plus note I can write and I'm going to see Stephen Fry in August so...
(3) I hope tomorrow is cold I can't show my left arm.
6No Reasons7(7) Got my PIP accepted!
8No Reasons9(5) CAMHS soon :) I don't know really what I'm going to talk about. I haven't been frantically bad but then it's not been frantically good either...honestly I don't know what to say...never mind I do.10(5) Had my height, weight and BP checked yesterday at CAMH...
(5) Off school. Revising instead lmao. I only needed maths at school today but I'm finishing all my papers and reading through my literature revision books.
(5) I've dug through my family history and have a lead that I may be related to Florence nightingale. If not there's a couple other things that are interesting!
11No Reasons12(4) 13No Reasons14(5) Today's plans are to finish cleaning my room and then have a bath.
(5) Got myself bathed. Just need to finish cleaning my room...when I have the motivation
15(6) Today I was noticed by Harriet Thorpe on twitter, she starred in The Brittas Empire, Bottom, A bit of Fry and Laurie. Theses are from what I know her from. And I'm incredibly happy.16(1) Banging headache. Hamster passed away. Feel sick. Throat tight.17(7) Seen the puppies, always worth having everything smell of milky puppy breath when you leave :) ? Oh I do love the puppies.18(3) Cut my hair last night. Mother shaved a massive chunk out of it by accident because the bloody grade 3 gaurd wasn't on :) I'm now I'm a beanie permanently until it grows back. It's not like I can hide
(6) My binder arrived! I'm so happy it makes up for the shit haircut
19No Reasons20(6) 21No Reasons
22(6) Been doing a lot of artwork this week23No Reasons24No Reasons25(6) Hello pandas, afraid I was off for sometime. Thankfully I was doing okay which is why I was offline, I forgot momentarily that this place existed. Thank god it does Ey.26(5) Puppy update: Two of the puppies went to their new homes on Tuesday! The remaining puppies seem to be on edge but they know there's supposed to be four and not two ?
(6) Im also going to Nottingham comic con next month! Going to meet the smegheads of course. Going to be dressed as Rimmer, I'll have fun ?
27No Reasons28(7) I've taught my cat how to do Paw, that's the third official command she knows. Sit, Up and Paw. She knows a tiny bit of recall. I don't have a dog so this is the best I'm getting ?
(4) I'm so bored and suddenly hate every painting I've done and have the urge to just burn and destroy them.
(2) I'm sick of everything. I'm so blank and yet it's sudden. I'm glad through messages to people I know I can wear a 'happy mask' and pretend to be excited and 'myself'.
(2) My family have been arguing pretty much every moment, I've got a strong urge to just impale something through my head. Or get into a fight. Anything goes. I need pain. It'll be okay.
(5) Talking to a distant cousin from Canada about my family tree and I am related to Florence Nightingale...But I need more confirmation than my mother's word.
29(5) School today. That's if I don't get put away.
(6) First day of school was okay, new English teacher likes The Beatles so that's good. Exams soon. Revising more at school and see my therapy dog tomorrow.
30(5) A bit of a Rik and Ade before school, then the doctors after :I
(3) Doctors was a waste of time. She brushed me off and passed me back to CAMHS. I was told to go to the doctors if my habits got worse and they have. Like giving me a recipie will fix all my wasting iss
  1(5) I am now listening to Stephen Fry read Mythos, I can't beeline I ever stopped listening to audiobooks.
(2) I am sick and tired of feeling physically sick after each meal why can't the doctors just help me...
(3) Have to eat in front of my mother for her to document it :))
2(5) School was okay-ish. Got back ache, now going to the local studies library to do more research. Aunt isn't being too helpful on if she's joining me or not.3(4) I'm having some intresting yet horrific thoughts...
(6) Comic con tomorrow, night all.
4(7) Today I met Chris Barrie and Robert Lleweylln!!5(2) First anxiety attack of the year I guess
6No Reasons7(4) I feel so weak and shit and I just want to go home. Got CAMHS first though, no therapy dog either today :|8(4) I hurt yesterday. In school. Was very angry, CAMHS didn't help so much and I came out feeling worse than when I went in. Lost weight, do and don't care. I couldn't give a damn about getting it back.9(3) Spent yesterday in the bathroom clinging to the sink trying not to pass out or bring my dinner back into existence via my mouth.
10(4) Today was unexpected. I had planned the day to be watching films. Instead I've been in and out of the hospital and the doctors. I had my bloods done at A+E out of the blue and passed out (more below)11(6) Waiting to go to work
(5) Okay
12No Reasons
13No Reasons14(5) Biology exams today, slightly looking forward to it weirdly ?
(5) Bio exam went alright...no idea what the hell the back page was on about but I tried to answer it...
15(4) Litrature exam, I'm not sure if I can get away with comparing Romeo and Juliet to Pyramus and Thisbe...and I've no idea what I'm going to do for A Christmas Carol.
(5) I've been feeling really crappy and I managed to get my managed dog to lie down, she doesn't usually. I feel like I've achieved at least something today.
(4) And back to those GCSE blues. Honestly can't wait for this and next week to be over. Because then we've got maths and English language and not lit. I really don't know anymore...
16(5) Chemistry exam down. I'm definitely more better at bio and physics so I'm hoping to pick up lost marks on my P2 Bio + Phys.17(6) Last day of school for the week. One more week of exams and then a weeks holiday two weeks of exam, ten weeks off.18No Reasons19(5) My back is DYING I need a new mattress and spine
20(6) Productive day yesterday, I made a larger scale doll and now just need to give him hair, shoes and some trousers.
(6) Home time. Went for an interview had a moment on the bus. Fine now.
21(1) 22(5) Sketching something or other. Really supposed to be revising...23(5) Exam and then ECG...
(6) Exam went...reasonably well I wrote seven pages...it must've gone well. On the bus on my way to the doctors now.
(5) Well, ECGs are weird. You can feel them move against you despite being still. It's very odd.
(5) Getting to work on my models, just need wool and more material. But body wise they're pretty much done and going to deposit on a little girl cocker
(3) Back in the bathroom with my best friend 'The Sink' as I feel ill, lightheaded and dizzy all over again just from eating. I'm getting bored of this now.
25(4) ??????26(5) 'That's a completed ba**ard I know called Rick.'
27(5) This country is in shambles. Well done U.K.28(5) Stayed up until four writing sad fanfiction. I cried a of total three times, worth it though ?29(8) ? My new puppy comes home in three weeks!30No Reasons31(5) Sister has been a cow to us all day, and is now getting her friends to hang up against me :)
(2) Welp a bit of violence to make the day perfect :))
     1(4) Having a crisis over my bedroom. Thankfully I can paint the walls with whatever I want, and I can dismantle the bed. But first unfortunately cleaning ?
(6) Took down my cabin bed today. Carpets come up tomorrow.
2(4) Itchy noseeeee
3(6) The last week has been alright. I see my puppy again on Wednesday, work on Saturday was alright although I dropped off the dogs an hour early. Today I'm dog shopping - Accesories wise I've already
(5) 13 days until I finish Year 11 and my Exams.
(7) Going on a shopping spree for dog bits; Puppy pads, bowls, rubber chew toy and other bits if I can afford it ? still got two weeks to grab the other bits too.
4No Reasons5(5) CAMHS today, always end up feeling worse when I come out of it.6No Reasons7No Reasons8(5) Work and then a meeting later today
(6) Good-evening, good evening setting up a crate and stair gate. Just need a bed and bowls and we're set!
9No Reasons
10(5) My hand is either seizing because I've spent the past four hours painting (I can go on for hours with paint) or because it's just buggered and wants a bit of a moan at me.11(5) Had all day off yesterday due to a sudden bout of illness. 9am exam tomorrow, if I feel ill afterwards I shall request to return home.
(5) Survived school, now let's see about this bus journey.
12(5) Chemistry exam today
(2) Due to my maturity already, growing up a lot quicker than required has gone brilliantly.
13(5) Doctors went well. Got to continue the Vitamin D supplements, and although not pregnant I've got to start folic acid for four months. EDs are a pain in the arse. But had a really nice doctor.
(3) My brain needs a break, I'm tired, I'm struggling to read my brain just wants to shut down.
14(5) Final exam. Final day. Tired but these cards won't write themselves.
(5) Incredibly anxious for the final day at school, I also plan to come out too..
(7) Schools out forever! I dropped a note on the register coming out and legged it.
15(3) Having a minor break down in Greggs, sensory overload.
(1) If I didn't own animals that depended on me or relied on me. I would've done something stupid this evening. I am sick of the arguments everyday. It's having a bad effect...wish I could just move out.
16No Reasons
17No Reasons18(4) Woke up to my mother shouting st my sister who is refusing to go to school because she has a cough...I've been to school when feeling like I'm on deaths door...I just want the house to myself ugh
(5) CANHS tomorrow, I don't want to talk. Usually as I come out after a okay session having the urge to do soemthing. It isn't okay and is best I tackle t when ready not forced.
19(7) Been talking since 9pm to a new friend, it is now 12:46pm.20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons
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