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  192 days
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  9 followers
January
MTWTFSS
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15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(2) Currently sick and tired of having panic attacks, feeling sick, feeling ill, shaking, constant headaches. This is all because of stress. Also I lost my old account so hey I'm back :)
(5) I know crying can clear your head and helps when you sad but, can it help get rid of stress, anger and anxiety??
(2) Emotionally and physically drained from school once again. Had a bad morning today, involved tears, being late and a small panic attack. The school is good at catering for everything expect test prep.
18(5) Enjoying reading 'No kind of atmosphere'. Red Dwarf fan fiction and is actually one of the better ones I've read in a long while. Usually you get the occasional 'What the...' fic.
(6) Sunk in that this year I'm a young adult and next year I can learn how to drive. Don't expect to end up driving until 2021.
(3) I feel like someone has crawled into my spine and ripped it apart, and that someone has chopped up everything in my torso. Loving the cold, thanks mate - Torso triggered by my back pain caused by cold
19(5) Just one more lesson then it's the end of the week. Just hoping my baby cat can make it or alright.
(2) Dad news about my baby cat, she had to be put down because of a brain tumour. Whatever they would've done would've still of ended up hurting her in the end:
20(5) Feeling slightly better today. I have my other cat sitting on my legs just staying with me.21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
22(5) Had a lazy and depressing morning. Still depressed and have CAMHS in the morning but felt alright this evening, moved things around in my bedroom, changed the sheets and bathed. Feeling okay-ish now.23(5) CAMHS and then school. My teacher will be asking about the cat, then doing a test and finally telling my CAMHS lady about everything that's happened. Well that's before school anyway.
(2) Feeling ill, but convinced that's because I had to recap the whole month to my CAMHS worker and felt awful afterwards. If stress can just kindly not be a thing I think that'd be great.
24(5) Not looking forward to school, one there's s storm and two school. I mean I like storms.
(6) Despite having a bad day at schoo I've been to a free jump place and now McDonald's.
(3) Fed up of feeling sick and ill all this month. It's alls that I've ever done, despite feeling ill I've been doing my daily routines and they're more tiring than they used to be.
25(7) Had a pretty good day today. My Rimmer (RD) cosplay patches came in, I need to wait a month for the shirt now. Still it gives me time to get the rest of the things needed in on time.26(7) Got gifted s military style coat today, thank you manager.27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5) Didn't update yesterday but spent it being lazy then did some crafts. About to go to sleep now.
29(8) Good morning everyone. I slept at 6pm last night and woke up at 7:41am this morning. A good sleep. Now I feel as if I've been awake for agessss
(5) Done nothing all day now I feel rubbish for it. I wish Comic Con and my cosplay parts would hurry up :I The fish tank too.
(3) Felt like I've wasted my day. Going to sleep now as I have school in the morning. Just hope tomorrow is better.
30(4) Wearing all black today, feeling okay. Not sure weather to come home or go to volunteer (they know why I am out at the moment.)
(5) My sister from Scotland is coming down on Thursday. Want to escape the first half of school to pick her up from her grans.
31(5) On my way back from school and on the rattling bus again. Thankfully Wednesday is over now so I can relax again.
(6) Listening to War of Worlds while I doodle. How are you pandas?
February
MTWTFSS
   1(7) Had a decent day today, definitely got to go on a healthier diet due to nothing that's junk food agreeing with me..ever.2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(5) Had a panicked sick feeling evening, talking to a friend made me feel much better.4(6) Spending today out with my family before my sister leaves to Scotland.
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(7) Talking to s friend I haven't heard from in four months. He left to focus on his happiness and wellbeing. It's good to have him back.
(3) Found out I have to catch the bus to school, I don't know why but my anxiety causes me to hate bus rides. My father is home but isn't taking me as my two sisters have kicked off about going to school.
(4) Had a rubbish morning but I'm glad I am home. Planning on waking up two hours earlier than normal to avoid anything else..
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(6) Only two lessons today and then three tomorrow. May and April are busy months that I can't wait for. May we're having a party, April we're going to London and then I'm having another x-ray; nervous.
(6) Making my way to school, anxiety lower than usual which is great, music high. Temperature, moderate.
(6) Watching The Brittas Empire wrapped up in a blanket and my cat upon my knee.
9(6) Had an alright day, did cooking and double Lit. Finished all the poems now. I'm sad due to hating language and loving English Litrature. My friend came over we went on a walk and just spoke about life
(6) Hoping to see my girlfriend around Valentine's Day, I have a plan of just making her coffee and pizza and just watching movies. Not much but it's the little things. I hope to add more later.
10(4) Feeling sick and lightheaded. Most likely caused by the shouting that's just happened between my father and siblings, then myself and my father.
(3) I'd give anything to swap out my Anxiety attacks for a once a month meltdown caused by my Aspergers again. Really sick and tired of feeling sick and well tired from the attacks.
(5) Drawing, feel a lot better since eveything has calmed down.
11(5) Had a decent sleep, hopefully today is a better day.
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(8) 3:23am marks the time I finished a huge digital drawing (for me anyway). Goodnight all!
(4) I keep twisting my ankle, it's the same one and can happen just by walking, three times so far sand was in the same amount of pain from when I sprained it badly. It wears off after a while and I can
(4) This human is single again due to a bad patch in her family life.
14(6) Made another new friend today, and the other is coming over again on Friday this week. Just need Thursday to pass quickly :I15(5) At school early. Hoping at least my other friend is here, sadly will only see him for one lesson as different science groups.
(6) Got a job at a doggy daycare, nervous but looking forward to it. Not because of the dogs, because how would the staff will react to a teen who looks ten and is started their first day?
(5) Back of my heel feels like Jelly, getting a doctors appointment due to having twisted that heal really badly twice in one 24h period.
16(5) Was close to an anxiety attack earlier, went downstairs and talked about anything. Came back up, drew and now I plan to sleep, hopefully.
(7) Feel a lot better than yesterday.
(3) Friend never came over.
17(8) Had s good day at my new job. Covered in mud and smell like dog but it's part of the job and I love dogs.18(6) Hoping either of my friends can meet up, I don't have any plans until the evening of all week. No structure before that is horrible.
(4) Dropped some 'friends'. Whenever we went out they invited someone else and never told me and mostly stayed with them. I always ended up tagging behind. Same for when the group went out, tagged behind.
(7) Going to town tomorrow with friend who couldn't meet on Friday. Going bowling then subway, then back to mine for a sleepover.
19(5) Checked my mood calendar and only one red square. A lot better than Jan where there are more.
(6) Lazing around a bit before I go to town to meet Hol.
(6) Drew in a game of bowling, brought some more putty, brought subway and Just the smeg ups from Red Dwarf. Got asked for ID (JTS was 15) as I really do look 13. Luckily my friend was with me and she
20(6) Had a great day in York! Went to Roman Bath, York Castle Museum, Cathedral, York's chocolate story, Three Harry Potter stores. Glad to be home though. Was some stress in the morning when we arrived.21(5) Dear chocolate lovers, Easter eggs are £1 in Morrisons. You're welcome.
(5) Watching Red Dwarf with my cousin I haven't seen since I was nine. Send help.
22(3) Having a really bad nights sleep. I'm overheating and woke up at one, went back to sleep at around 3:40am terrified myself in a dream about my labelling machine the noise it made wasn't very pleasant.23(5) Had a somewhat better sleep than last night. Keep randomly waking up at six-thirty. If only I woke up that time on a school week.
(7) Doing one of those copper scratch drawing things. Relaxing.
24(8) Got work with the dogs today, extremely greatful for where I am now than two years ago. This time last year I was depressed, didn't attend school, do work. I didn't have the motivation to do anything.
(7) I'm the morning ran around with the puppies after their training class. Waited for people on the open day, only one showed up but the owner and helpers dogs I got to watch over and play with when wait
(6) Woken up from my nap, now watching S7 E8 of Death In Paradise.
25(4) Got a friend coming over today, I need to clean my room and I'm actually debating just shoving it into my wardrobe to sort out later so I have time to shower...whoops?
26(2) Not looking forward to school tomorrow. Found out they have my phone number for them to call me and ask where I am if I'm late. They have my mothers phone number for a reason. I am uncomfortable with27(4) First day back to school after the holidays, thankfully I only have English and I'm dreading the results of my 'functional skills' English writing. I know I haven't passed and it'll be a miracle if I
(5) At school earlier than expected, cleaning my phone case. It's silicon and picks up everything )_<
(6) Found audiobooks are better for bus journeys. Having to take the bus more as my father isn't able to take me due to work at 8:00am.
(3) Feel like splitting open my spine and getting this operation over and done with. Nervous for my spine appointment in April.
28(5) Internet friend got jealous I have a friend in real life (I only have the one in real life) and began texting me stuff such as 'I'm done. That's it I'm being used as a doll again'. No I'm not using
(3) Every morning is a battle waking up and then having the motivation to go to school. I've shortened my charity work time because of this too.
March
MTWTFSS
   1(8) Woken up to find out it's a snow day, thank you weather. The only time I can have a day off without it affecting my attendance score (trying to aim for 85%)
(2) Post meltdown, over a game not rage-quit it. Thankfully my cat has come upstairs with me after being reassured that I'm not going to hurt her. (I made loud noises) now on the floor with her butt on my
2(1) Been up early and have avoided my family since. Only problem is I have a headache and I'm a bit hungry. Avoiding them because of meltdown yesterday evening.
(5) Went down around late afternoon. Ate and feeling much batter.
3(8) Did my dog work today, tired after playing in the snow with them.
(5) Finally working on my cosplay. Top half is complete when I add the badges. Filling out everything Listy's been put on report for in the book. Anyone know where I can get black army style boots from?
4(5) Mother has just plucked my eyebrows, my scar in the eyebrow is now really visible. There's two together and they're in the shape of circles.
(6) Starting a big project. Drawing project on my phone. While listening to music. Link to your favourite song (no swearing please) ??
(6) Should I make a place for my art to be viewed if any of you pandas would like to see it and give feedback?
(5) Hoping the weather clears up so I can start going on evening runs. I just need to invest in sports shoes.
5(7) Watching The Brittas Empire, then again I only watch TBE, Red Dwarf and Sooty. Anyone got any other shows I should watch?
(7) Just been extremely productive by hanging my bed sheets, pillows and cover. Cleaned my shelves and organised my desk.
6(5) After two weeks my friend is coming back to school which is good because I have missed her.
(7) Just had my hair cut, hopefully it's not cold so my ears can retain some warmth. Been wanting the long side off for ages.
7(5) Good day at school, going to look around a collage tomorrow. Won't accept I'm growing up whoops.
(3) Just realised that my only friend in school will be leaving, all my favourite teachers are retiring or leaving too. Come July I'll be alone again. I hate change.
8(4) Lesson starts in eight minutes and I thought it started at 9:30am which was yesterday /).- At least I'm early.
(3) Had a okay-ish day today. Teacher brings on stress by treating us as if we're about two years old. Treat us like mature humans we are and maybe we won't have more anxiety about coming to school.
9(3) Woken up to parents yelling st each other.
(8) Can't wait to work with the puppos tomorrow.
(6) Glad I have the same sense of humour as my father otherwise things would be very different. In the car we made some offensive jokes and he told me about what happened at his fathers funeral.
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(7) Had a good day yesterday, my friend got stuck in a elevator before we met xD
(3) Wish someone would tell dad that we'd have more respect for him if he didn't loose his case every time something is left out. Sick and tired of the arguments and shouting that happen.
(5) Feeling really rubbish within' myself. Not quite sure what's up with me. Depending on the weather I'm going to go for a run.
12(5) My cat is somewhere in the house. Where? I'm not sure13(5) Good time at athletics14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(5) Sad. No WiFi :(
(4) Felt sick, had my first anxiety attack in over two months and I'm now tired and ready for bed feeling less sick.
17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18(6) Had a good day at work yesterday. Mopped and picked up dog business, played with the dogs, went out for some milk, came back played some more and mopped the floors (kennel cough etc) before we left.
(7) On a six hour call with old friends. Had been a good day
19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20(5) Back to school later so off to sleep I go.
(6) Half decent sleep, thankful my father is at home so he can take me.
(3) Had a talk about my youngest sibling at school, she's nine and has autism. From own bad experiences with getting help, with my own autism I don't want her to go through the same thing.
21(5) I have a platonic partner, we act like a couple yet we don't have the official title which for me at the moment is good. Considering we're both still young too.
(4) Woken up with a scratchy throat, doubt I'll be talking much.
(4) Sad my favourite teacher has left. My friend and the teacher cried, I didn't. I cried yesterday. We're meeting again in August for a McDonald's to celebrate the Year 11s GCSEs :D
22(5) Woke up feeling much better, throat isn't as bad as it was. So hoping it was just the tail wind of the cold that's been going round.
(5) Going on a train later today with my youth group.
(7) Had an alright last day of school, waiting to be picked up.
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24(5) Hopefully going to go on a run after work tomorrow. For now it's get some sleep.
(2) Thought I had escaped where people tell me what effects they want from injuring themselves and then saying they'll love it more then anything. It brings up my anxiety and fear having it happen twice.
25(3) I've started wishing horrible things upon my father because of soemthing he constantly does.
(4) Managed to get rid of my anger by playing a duelling game online. Still stressed.
26(6) My cat has started rubbing her face against mine. I mean I don't mind it just wondering why my cat is being extremely cuddly. Oh well ?
(6) Just been on a run had a mish-mash of athletics clothes on but feel better.
(4)
27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5) Hoping I can go to my friends house vice-versa. I miss her :I
(7) My friend is coming over soon, my back hurts from cleaning but I've applied gel to it to take away the pain.
29(3) When adults shout at their children it's perfectly acceptable, but when the kids shout back to defend themselves they need to be punished. Great logic.
(0) I want to...
30(5) At my grandads recovering from my sensory overload.
(8) Felt compelled to eat the food my aunt had started making in the oven, she never told us about it. So my grandad and I have had one bite and have left the rest. Whoops xD
31(7) Came home before my mother who walked in with a hamster, the cage and everything. Have welcomed Syrup into the family.
April
MTWTFSS
      1(5) Lazy day today, I might ask to go out with a friend tomorrow. Can't stand being cooped up.
2(3) Late night, I need to fix my sleep patten before I go back to school. Have a feeling this is from the many times of randomly waking up at my grandads house.3(4) Sleeping patten is messed up. Quite badly.
(5) Had a bath and brushed my teeth and washed my hair this morning so I don't feel gross. Now 'force feeding' myself as I know I need the energy and food to get back to where I was than back in this pit.
4(5) Keep having dreams about flying in a plane. I've never been in a plane and have anxiety around it. It's helping in a way but it'd help if we left the ground in my dreams xD
(8) Feeling ontop of the world, told my father how I fell about him and how it's not right for his own children to feel scared of him as he can react to anything we say. He told me to F off.
5(7) Re-drawing s portrait I did back in 2016. Can already see the improvement. The hair has more detail and the nose is no longer a weird rectangle.6(4) Hoping my body can and will allow me to get up at half eight everyday. Simply because of my body clock being out of it. Wish I still had melatonin but have to be prescribed that :I
(4) Had a meltdown today, hoping the extreme burst of sudden energy that has now been lost is all I need to kick my ass back to sleeping properly again. It's taken it's toll.
7(8) Had a good day st work today. Had a nap when I came home but other then that I'm okay.
(7) Positivity time! Post one thing that you've accomplished that is positive. If you feel as if you haven't done anything positive comment something you'd like to accomplish! #Kindness #Positive
8(7) Meeting my partner today at 10:30am definitely need to start moving.
(10) What did you do today? Well, my friend and her mum and I got threatened by a swan.
9(7) Finally feel like I'm making progress with my sleep schedule. Feeling tired towards 1:00am is always a record when you've been sleeping at 3:30am each evening. Definitely needed to go on that walk.
(3) School have added two extra lessons onto my timetable tomorrow without consulting me first. Just when I thought they were understanding me ?
(7) Just went geocaching. Tired now but needed the walk.
(4) Aye one too many mints earlier. Now I'm paying for it. Whenever I get stressed I like chewing hard boiled sweets. And I think mints were not my best option to do so.
10(5) Back at school. First day back and I already want to leave. I won't be there on 17th or 20th so that's good.11(5) Might make it in on time. Who knows.12(7) Day off school because of CAMHS.13(2) WiFi is back and I say hi to a friend I missed and she's starts describing what she's going to do to herself. Great, exactly what I needed, a hello would've done. But that's too good for her it seems.14(2) Sister is making me nervous when she handles Syrup (hamster) Syrup has already bit me and it's no surprise when my sister face is always in hers, putting Syrup on her head and rocking her. ??
(2) Now my 'friend' is having a go at me as I told her about my anxiety and nervousness around my sister handling the hamster and she said 'once you get the hamster you aren't going to like it/deal withit
(4) Mother is planning to search my room for things I could hurt myself with just because I had used the tomato slicer for a tomato. It's really nice not to be trusted. Why is everyone against me?
15(4) Two rounds of toast, a tomato sandwich and chips. I went out and brought healthy snacks to have instead as I noticed I had been eating my emotions. I never do that so something in its place instead.
(5) Not allowed to go and meet a friend I haven't seen for ages :I
16(4) Only tomorrow until my yearly spine check up. That soon came around fast. Faster than I thought. Thankfully once that's over it's a three day wait until we go to London.
(3) Created a playlist for tomorrow's journey to an Orthopaedic hospital, and hour and a half depending on traffic. Nervous and anxiety filled but I'll be okay. I think.
17(7) Good results on my spine. They're going to leave it for six months before giving me another X-Ray. I'm due a growth spurt and the thing that could change negatively in that way is the thoratic curve.18(6) Goodnight sleep, all ready for school just need to brush my teeth.
(5) When did England hit twenty-four degrees? I mean I'm making no effort to cool down as I'm sat in my winter clothes and everyone on the bus around me are in summer clothes.
19(8) Attenborough: Three shovels, and then everyone claps. Sir Attenborough on the queen doing some royal planting. Enjoying The Queen's Green Planet.
(7) Goodnight pandas, I'm off to London tomorrow. Hope you all enjoy the weather if you have it good. If not don't let it get you down :)
20(3) Sister is causing an argument between everyone in the family by not getting ready. I'm just sat in the background waiting for everyone to finish and for Ellie to finally get ready.
(9) Having a great time in London so far
21(7) Goodnight sleep :)
(6) Feet ache but had a good day. Time to go home.
(5) My bed has never felt more comfortable.
22(5) Went back over my blips in London. I was at meltdown point for two of these occasions. Told a girl my age that if she kept staring at me I'd hit her. A woman was staring so I said 'Yes?!'
(5) Probably should point out that when I'm in meltdown mode I have no control over what I say to people.
23(3) Felt like rubbish ever since my panic attack on Saturday evening24(5) School have changed my timetable .
(5) First in the bus until the first stop. A mother and child got on, child in a pushchair. IT EXTENDED ITS LEGS AND TRIED TO KICK ME. I don't know how to feel ?
25(3) Can't wait for the day to be over. Only have half of I.T today due to a meeting.
(6) A smell of a new book is one of the best smells.
26(5) Had a good day, glad it's Friday tomorrow.27(7) A man came into our youth club yesterday and was also a fan of red dwarf. He gave me a 'H' letter as I was missing the H. JUST BOOTS AND TROUSERS TO GO.
(3) Feeling a lot of sudden anxiety on the bus, joined with back pain. Almost in town so hopefully I'll be okay.
(3) Having an anxiety attack over a stomach ache as I stupidly drank milk when lactose intolerant. And had lots of sugar with it so now it's taken it's toll. Very inconvenient when I have to officiate a
28(8) Can't wait for the competition, I'm officiating and if it rains I'm going into Photo Finish.29(7) Had a good day yesterday and slept well.
(7) Off to see Infinity War tomorrow with Holly.
30(5) Got home from watching Infinity War. I don't know how to feel.
May
MTWTFSS
 1(3) Don't have the motivation to get up and go to school. Even when I have an off day the school says 'At least come into school' yada yada.2(4) Don't want to go on the bus..
(3) Tempted just to skip school and go to town. It's in town anyway. Not like anyone will notice. They ignore me anyway and all my friends are leaving so what's the point?
(4) Told my keyworker how I felt, got passed onto the head and resulted in a phone call home. On the bus back home now. Thankfully I'm meeting my friend tomorrow after school.
(8) Best thing that's happened. My London friend is allowed to join us in London for a day in October :D
3(7) Hoping today warms up. Got science and maths then I'm meeting my cousin.
(4) Almost was in a bus crash this morning. Car pulled it in front of us so the bus had to slam it's breaks on. I was sat behind the driver and went flying into the seperation screen. A woman hit her face
4(5) Going into town with my grandad is going to be an adventure.
(5) Watching Sooty (2011) and B*Witched are singing on the show. I bet some of the kids are like 'Who the heck are B*Witched?' CEST LA V'IE(?)
(9) Watched Infinity War again, had an anxiety attack but ignored it and got invested in the movie and it helped an awful lot. Thank you Marvel for ten glorious years.
5(7) Glad to be going back to work. Missed the dogs.
(5) Hot and sunny, already had a nap. Diet currently consists of ice lollies
6(6) Time for bed I think.
(5) Had a good night sleep. Got a bit of a headache but that's expected when I've been in bed two hours later than normal.
(5) Think I'm going to have an early morning bath. Found my bath melt :)
(7) Just made my favourite treat, it's in the over cooking now and ive never made these treats without my cookery teacher, so it's going to be interesting on what happens.
(6) Room is almost all clean, bed has been changed and I've had a bath. I am feeling very clean from the hot spring sun.
7(4) No internet, and sad that Comic-con has been pushed from June to October. One of my comic friends was looking forward to see me again. Hopefully can meet her again :I
(7) Just had my hair cut, feels a lot lighter and better now it's off my face.
8(3) Hate my keyworker with a passion. I'm so angry at her that I can feel it in my chest, and I have scinece with her today ? She usually asks me how am I and I'm going to tell her. Weather she likes it
(3) I feel ill and have a huge urge not to be here(school).
(4) The head of the school now knows why I'm angry and also why I dislike my keyworker.
(4) Best friend is currently in hospital being checked out. He won't tell me what's wrong but is going to, I've made him. Someone needs to collapse in school and then the day of drama will be complete.
(7) Kept up with the day, and got on the bus to discover it's my favourite bus driver. He's so happy and cheerful, I tend to have less anxiety when I'm around people who are happy.
9(7) Two more lessons to go, then I'm going home. Back into town to babysit my sister then back home and out with a friend.
(5) Just moved to the outside seat on the bus so no one can sit next to me. The bus is practically empty anyway.
(2) I give up on friendships. Almost an hour later and I'm still waiting for my friend to show up. Texted. Nothing. This friend has a skill at being incredibly late and not texting.
10(6) Just today and tomorrow to go and then my sister comes done from Scotland!
(3) At Trampoling place, and feel sick so stopped bouncing. Sat on the sides with my dad. Have a few days where the feeling of my food digesting can just throw me off the whole day.
11(7) Bus is packed with OAPs. Lots of chattering. Tempted to start singing 'The wheels on the bus'12(1) Went to meet a friend. I don't know who the their five are after planning it was just going to be us two.13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(3) Ran off from friend in town on Saturday now have WiFi back.
(8) Feeling okay, applied to be an extra in The Sooty show and waiting a response as only first thirty made it in. Hope I did.
16(5) The coach who I call my 'superior' (technically is because I'm still not qualified yet) told me to take the athletes on a lap around the forest. Only problem is half the forest went with the new build
(7) Friends mother took me out for dinner (with my friend) and now I'm on the way back home avoiding a mosquito.
(7) Anxiety attack from feeling sick earlier. Quickly passed and I'm fine now. First time I've ever had an anxiety attack where at the end of it after I've recovered I feel okay. As if nothing happened.
17(4) Not getting enough sleep, so having an hour nap. Woke up from it and it makes me feel worse...
(4) Sadly did not get the part, but other opportunities are open.
(4) Girlfriend split with me, but I'm fine. Didn't get the part, I'm fine. Physically feel weak and ill, I'm okay. I'm not sad, I'm fine. I'm just fed up and loved the whole of January like this too.
18(7) Presuming I've got a day off school, due to the fact of no one has come and woke me up like they usually do.
(7) Woke up from a nap, I'm lacking behind on sleep. But I wnd up feeling worse after waking up.
19(5) Had an okay sleep, but now I need to get up for work
(7) Deleted two posts by accident. Good day at work, muddy shirt and I wanted to take Ronnie home.
(3) Middle sister is being a proper arsehole to everyone she talks too.
(7) On my way to my fathers party, on the long route round but doing just fine. Brought my door key in case I have to leave early from anxiety. (Left before due to it, but at my cousins wedding)
(7) Back from the party, very tired and ready for bed but have to clean room because friend is staying over tomorrow.
20(6) Watching Patrick Melrose with my frienfvwhislt drinking Coke.
21(3) Really don't want to go to this options meeting.22(5) I need to be gone by 0900 it's 0858....
(2) Teacher drove me home because I apparently seemed like a threat to myself and incapable to go home without exploding. I let her get on with it to make her feel better.
(3) Had a nap earlier to catch up on major missed sleep. Extremely tired again...What is wrong with me.
23(4) Wondering if I should pull a 'sickie' to avoid the longest day of the school week..Y11s have their exam, luckily I'm Y10 and get different lessons despite being in the same class, non exam season.
(5) Having a discussion with myself about equality between men and women. We're all human, it shouldn't matter what gender we are. Why is it hard to stick by the meaning of 'equal'? The world is f*cked.
(5) I should seriously sleep, but I can't due to the nap earlier and I'm still really tired now...WHAT DO YOU WANT BODY
(4) Skipped school, feel like crap emotionally and physically. Dad shouted at me this morning being 'scary'. I sat there unphased. Apparently I'm a different case because I'm have autism.
(1) School called me twice, thanks to my mother giving them my number. First time I just listened to them repeatedly saying my name and hung up.
(3) Tempted to scratch and headband the wall to relieve some pain. I'm currently curled up in bed and haven't stopped crying. Mother is telling me
24(5) Woke up feeling slightly better than yesterday, then again I have have to because it's my friends birthday and today I need to be a ray of light for her.
(5) Showered and ready to go out, having a BBQ at my youth group.
(6) Definitely one of the better days these two weeks have given me. A friend and I started talking and we went into the kitchen to hear someone say 'A stray sausage' instantly my immaturity appeared.
25(6) Went downstairs and got; A chunk of cucumber, a pepperoni and four chocolate fingers. I didn't realise it was in early hours of the next day (today)
(6) Last day of school, 100% finished. School called my mother whilst I was in school to ask where I was...I had walked past them before they even called.
26(7) Can't wait for work with the dogs.
(7) Went to a dog show with my manager, her dog and one she is looking after (Ronnie). I entered 'cutest puppy' with Ronnie and we came second! Lola sadly didn't win anything but it was a good day.
27(6) Drawing Bucky Barnes, time to draw his eyes, nose and mouth. I wish myself good luck.
(5) Got to do my friend a birthday card and start getting material for my Sooty show script for school, may ask if I can use but alter some of their jokes and stuff.
28(4) Should probably sleep and not slip out of my sleeping habits at least. With no school my structure falls apart, so I adjust to having no structure. Only when it stars again to have to fall back into
(7) Currently in Nottingham Castle. Found Ladybird Larva, it's a weird thing.
(7) Home thankfully. Had a good day but I'm glad it's over.
29(4) A person who I feel really uncomfortable around has only gone and applied for a place where I work. They have also applied for another place and I'm hoping he takes the other place once they respond..30(5) Went from a serious topic, to insulting each other and then a five minute call just laughing and doing random crap on snapchat. That's my relationship with my sister, when she's not in the house...xD
(6) Currently writing up a script/small show for my school's summer fete as they want me to do a Sooty show...I AM GETTING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS WOO
31(6) Fairly decent sleep, still tired and didn't expect to wake up at 12:18pm...got to start waking up to my alarm before Saturday and before school starts again.
(4) In the mindset of crappiness. She gets jealous when her friends don't include her in appreciation photos. I do it and she gets all snappy and tells me to take it down. Wonder if this happens a lot??
June
MTWTFSS
    1(6) Applied to be in the Sooty show, again. This is for a different episode and I hope I get the part, again. I was early this time.
(5) I should sleep now it's 2:30am. Goodnight all.
(6) Surprisingly did go to sleep after the goodnight message. Woke up at 10:00 and waited until my sisters friends had left at 10:30.
2(6) Watching Mosna before work with the dogs. I am very excited for being an extra and slept late because of it last night ?
(6) Singing very loudly whilst waiting to be picked up for work.
(7) Back from work, smell like dog and covered in mud. I don't care I love them to pieces.
(5) Learnt how to move the car forwards today, until I master not freaking out when moving two inches forwards and then making the car stall, I think I'll do well.
(7) Returned from a walk with my manager and her dog as she only lives around he corner. Good fun.
3(3) I've got a friend coming over and my whole family decide it's a great time to all have a huge argument. She'll literally be here in five minutes. I've been left to clean the house..
(5) Craving mash potato and feeling like Rimmer in bodyswap when presented with it. Yum.
4(5) School tomorrow, not looking forwards to the science but I'll get through it somehow.
(3) Slight earache, not eating well either. It'll on be a few small snacks and no real food at all. Slacking on keeping up with my exercises for my physio as I've gone downhill..
(6) Feeling slightly better, grandad is down tomorrow and the car is going to be fixed on Wednesday. Just this week to get through and a few days..
5(6) American friend, Watson telling me that it's time to go to bed. And stalking every social media until she scares me into doing it. I am listening the first time now because I put pressure on myself to
(3) An now I have school for seven weeks.
(5) If my headphone jack gives up on me and switches my music to normal speakers, the bus will be listening to AC/DC. ?
(7) Realised that I'm listening to highway to Hell on my way to school which is reffered to as 'hell'. Though, my cat saw me off to school the bus was free as the machine broke and it's going quickly.
(6) First day of school finished. Just seven more weeks to go. Good first day back, met with my aunt and picked up and item needed.
(6) Hoping to go to the 'twenty real life human bodies' exhibition in Birmingham with my uncle.
6(5) I have been saying 'Yeet' ironically and now it's a part of my vocabulary and won't leave. What do I do?
(6) Hoping I have some wacky dream. The last one I had I was in a cafe in a leisure centre and I fell through the cafe's roof. That's what I get for watching too much Brittas.
(4) Woke up and my throat is on fire, won't be doing much talking at school then.
(4) Headache on my way back from school. Think I'll have a nap when I get home or so.
(5) Done with this week. But the only good thing is the Three Musketeers are back at school. (Me, Euan and Sophie.)
7(5) Another music recommendation, please leave music below to add to my collection of what people like.
(5) Had a nap, stopped feeling tired but now I have a headache.
8(4) I think the week after next week I shall just sleep. I'm going to be extremely busy, especially with filming day coming up and exams before then.
(4) Excited and nervous for the filming, I get chest pain whenever my anxiety shows itself. I have managed to reduce it and now it's just psychological fear and extremely mild chest pains.
(4) Going to be late to my CAMHS appointment at school, I'm just hoping the bus gets through town quickly. At least ten minutes late is good enough for me.
(5) Worst mistake? Caffeine. I'm sat on a bus and when it's stationary to me it's rocking side to side. Might go on a run to burn it off.
9(4) Super tired but having an important conversation with a friend, not leaving until they're feeling okay.
(6) Slept through my alarm but I'm up and dressed and in time to be picked up for work.
(5) Mother has friends over for a party, only looking forward to the left over food ?
10(7) Back from a friends house. She has eight rabbits..
11(3) I've over slept and feel like rubbish, it's 12:45am and so this is a problem..I need to sleep to keep my routine in check, but my eyes and head hurt from sleeping too much. Does this make sense?
(7) Four days until the day, watching the show on television and I can understand Sweep perfectly. Should this be considered a super power?
(1) On a call to a friend, he's had a police officer at his door asking about our other friend that's gone missing, tomorrow's going to be hell...
(3) Friend has been found and she's back safe. She was found during the hour me and my other friend were talking.
12(3) Been feeling faint in the morning and putting it down to the heat. It's probably stress from last night too.
(6) Went out for dinner with a friend and his mother. We jokingly said that I'm their part time child/sibling.
13(3) Woke up around 3am due to a bad dream, I was holding my breath and jolted awake. Woke up again around 6am fir no apparent reason.
(3) Want to go home
(6) Glad today is over, just tomorrow to go before having to wake up at 3am Friday morning.
14(4) I'll be seeing the year 11s off today as I won't be there tomorrow. Tomorrow they have their final exam..
(7) Yikes! Time has to do quickly, I need to change into my pyjamas and then probably watch soemthing until 11:00pm then get up at 3:30am
15(7) We're here to film the sooty show! We're the first ones here. Seen another car with humans in.
(9) And that's a wrap! Finished filming Sooty today, tired but definitely worth the experience.Best day I have ever had
16(5) Sunburnt and have an infection in my ear. The pain was totally worth yesterday!17(5) Hoping my friend will meet up with me either tomorrow or Monday. I hate having no structure.
18(6) Sunburn is clearing up as is the infection.
(5) Just relaxing with my cat
(2) I'm ready to leave existence :) I'm feeling bad within' myself because I have a phobia of growing up and there's been a lot of change in my life. I'm not actually going to leave.
(5) Ready for school to be over tomorrow so I can go and walk my managers bulldog and spend some time with her.
19(4) Just another hour and fifteen minutes to get through then I can leave school to go and walk my managers dog.
(6) Walked Lola and played in the yard a while.
20(5) Phone didn't charge overnight so thank god for buses with WiFi and charging ports.
(5) Okay day
21(4) Really tired, don't know why but I'm suspecting lasts weeks on and off sleep is the culprit. As well as waking up at 3:30am the other week.22(5) Cooking first thing and then double English. Then to finally walk Lola again :D
(7) Cooking over, time for my first English lesson then Drama-therapy and then to walk little Lola.
(7) With Little Lola now, only she's a fully grown Old Tyme Bulldog. And she's decided my hoodie is a great place to sleep.
23(7) Good day at work.24(7) Brought season one of Sooty yesterday, it's brilliant! Can't wait for season three.
(5) Home alone at 11:45pm and paranoia is setting in :) Family are at the hospital with my sister, soemthing happened to her foot.
25(1) All my 'friends' are fucking crazy. I get daily suicide notes and failed attempts. When my life seems to be going right I get all this shit. Ones in hopsital and the other one has apologised.
(1) Aaron here, just changed it to my shortened way.
26(2) Had a meltdown at school, cried, swore and raised my voice. They asked what was wrong and why my mother came into school I replied with the truth.27(5) Found out I'm to have Pet Therapy. I've already met the dog (Spaniel called Jesse) and her handler.28(5) Sat in twenty-three degree weather in a hoodie and trousers. Showing no feeling of being warm ?
(5) Once the majority of the people on the bus got off at the hospital. The ones who remained sat in the sunny side just ran to the shaded area, including me.
(5) Emergency CAMHS appointment at 11am tomorrow and then just thirty minutes of class which is just drama therapy.
29(4) Currently at CAMHS.
(6) Glad I'm home now. Tired and want feeding then a shower due to the fact Lola licked my legs and my arms. May postpone it until after my dog work later though. Just so I don't have to shower twice.
30(5) Time to get ready for work.
(7) Got the whole series of Red Dwarf now on DVD. Watching series VI commentary, I love the commentary's not a huge fan of Psirens. But Gunmen of the Apocalypse is definitely a fan-favourite.
July
MTWTFSS
      1(4) Nice to know my family think about me. They dont invite me out and then go shopping and buy everything else for them and no thought about me :))))
(0) I'm ready to go now.
2(4) Slightly better. Thank you John for giving me the advice, I've got it saved for when I feel like this or anything negative again.
(5) Time to sleep and then face another day at school. I've cut someone out of my life except you can't block when when they attend the same school and classes as you..I leave soon then god.
3(5) Come to the realisation that kids who are now Year 10-12 look younger than they are and the new gen of Year 7-9 look older than us.
(5) On the bus and have anxiety, but I'm okay. Listening to music and just focusing on the lyrics of the song. Space Oddity by David Bowie.
4(4) In the state of mind of if I don't sleep until late I will probably sleep until the afternoon. And for some reason I'm agreeing it's a good plan.
(4) Well i ended waking up naturally anyway. Extremely tired and late for me is 2am so I'm fine.
5(5) Tired but awake. Which is great.
(6) Good day at Youth club and great seeing Lola again.
6(5) On my way to school to do some cooking. And someone else is covering our English lesson, I hope it's the head of the school.
(5) Too hot but I'm awake and have cooled down now. Because this is how heat works everybody ?
7(6) Waiting to be picked up for work.
(6) Finished Bottom and now I'm watching The Young Ones.
8(5) I've almost finished The Young Ones, quick what else should I watch?!?
9(5) At my cousins house in Nottingham.
(3) Banging headache and out, just paid for drinks. People owe me money now because I'm the only one who has Cash.
10(5) Brought a tie for my Draco cosplay.11(10) Very grown up going to Weatherspoons by ourselves12No Reasons13(5) Sat in the car of Tesco's carpark. Not gone in with my father as I'm in my pyjamas and picked up two different shoes that are for my left foot...Only me.14(5) Sweating. Can we have the rain back?
(4) Waiting for a person to accept my apology whilst their friend has texted me front their own phone to confront me about it. Sorted it with them and I'm waiting now.
15No Reasons
16(5)
(3) Had s good afternoon our, but got the worst tension headache
(4) Had a nap to see if it'll fade, only slightly. So I've had some full fat coke just to see if it's my blood sugar levels, it shouldn't be. If not I'll resort to paracetamol and sunglasses.
(5) Had ibuprofen and some coke weird mix but these were at seperate times. Coke eased it off and ibuprofen is just for the remaining pain I have.
17(5) Waiting for my mother so we can catch the bus together.
(4) Just woke up at 10pm...I'm pretty sure I should go back to sleep now.
18(4) Goodnight all.2:31a
(5) Long day today again )_>
(5) Just one more week until school ends. Can't get this annoying raspberry pip from inbetween my teeth :(
(5) My mum has no idea what is going on and neither do I.
19(5) YES WEVE GOT A VIDEO! Watching The Young Ones with my grandfather.20(5) I need to have a shower
(3) I have no idea...
21(3) Annoyed as crap :)22(5) Had my haircut. At the front and sides I am get away with it...at the back I'm channeling Duane Dibbley. Like the front more than the back, two days of school left, wheres the bloody hat.
23(4) Am alrighty sort of day I guess..24(5) Time to search for a hat to cover the back of my hair.
(6) More confident in my hair style now and only one more day left
25(2) I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack. Please no..I've been doing so well my last one was in March. Please no.
(3) Managed to get in three hours sleep. Woke up due to it being bright goit to try and sleep some more and figure out how I am later.
26(5) Body is still in school mode as I'm awake at 8:46am when I want a lie in ?
(7) Had a good picnic with the youth club
27(5) Second day of the school holidays...just 42 days to go.28(5) Going to the beach tomorrow, not sure how I'm going to cope in a tiny car in the heat but hey let's try it.
(6) Finally rained properly in England, so glad we've got our normal weather back. Maybe it'll clock everything down.
(3) Had an alright day out in Skeggy. Worst traveling I've ever experienced the car is too cramped in the back for long journeys. 3 because we hit someone's bumper, they stopped suddenly. No one hurt.good
29(4) Little sister is going off on one again.
30(3) Feeling sick, but I'm okay. I think. Can someone end the six weeks holidays?31(5) Goodnight Pandas. Doing better than I thought for having no structure, hope to keep it up.
(3) Yelled shut up at a bunch of kids across the road pressing a cars horn. I'm sorry but when they're pressing it continuously and for a long time each time, it's driving me up the wall.
August
MTWTFSS
  1(4) I'm counting down the days until I go to school, but because I'm sad i have to go back. Because that's my only structure and I'm falling without it.
(5) Really need to shower, mostly because I have sand in my hair.
2No Reasons3No Reasons4(6) Found a Elephant Hawk-moth.5(3) Was supposed to be going to the zoo today, but both my siblings have been miss behaving all week and so we're not now :))
(1) Nine consistent days of arguing between everyone in my family. I've locked myself away and have only now just cried explaining how it's had an impact on me. As I'm the only one not arguing.
6(5) Hoping to get the part I'm auditioning for on the 12th so that I'll have something to do this six weeks ?
(5) Cleaned my room and cleaned out the hamster.
7(8) Visiting a friend on Saturday, it's been s year since I last saw her so I'm very glad of this.
(5) Been singing like a mad man, and erm...all the small windows downstairs are open. Which is right where I'm singing very badly on purpose ?
8(6) Going to be at my friend a lot earlier than planned so I told her she can kick me out earlier.?
(5) Talkie Toaster is annoying ??
9(5) Keep feeling sick towards the end of the day and shaking. CAMHS cancelled and so did my manager. Meeting friend Saturday.10(5) Very excited to see my friend tomorrow.11(10) Offto my friends soon :D This is an internet friend I've met before and so I'm very excited to be sleeping over her house.
(6) With my internet friend watching The Young Ones and we've already been ice skating and are yet to see the fireworks.
12(7) Good night I had tonight, now incredibly tired. Feeling slightly ignored but that's okay.
(10) Had a lot of fun with my friend, and we rescued a cat from Tesco's last night. Scanned it back st a rescue place this morning, no chip. If no one comes forwards in a week it's going up for adoption.
13No Reasons14(6) Few blips during the day but had a laugh when my sister slapped me with a wet sponge ??15(5) Going over to a friends house in 45 minutes.
(6) Spent the hour playing with her new kitten called Bonnie who is a terror ?
16(4) Not keen on the new person at youth club..17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons
20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons