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  159 days
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January
MTWTFSS
1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
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February
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17(7) Trying to become more aware of self-destructive habits and how they affect my mood with the aim to introduce more positive habits. Been quite a productive day apart from that too! ?
(6) Got out of bed earlier only 6 minutes after my alarm, big improvement. But still only starting into my college work now. A bit disappointed but determined to get something done today!
18(3) Day 2 trying to break habit of staying in bed after waking. Woke up 3hr53 minutes ago and just getting out of bed now. Week off nearly over and wasn't half as productive as I had planned. ?
19(4) Spent 2 hours awake lying in bed before I listened to 10 minute meditation which did the trick. Still disappointed it takes me so long and still feel tired but at least I did better than yesterday.20(5) Time in bed before got up: 52 minutes. Halving it everyday! ? Yesterday very productive but bed a bit too late. Bit tired, tummy upset and nose blocked. Grandma in hospital.21(7) Thought I was ahead of myself with prep done for classes at weekend but had to do a lot of prep this eve. Just shutting down my laptop now at 2:27am. So tired but I am SO ready for my first class.
(7) Only 7 mins awake in bed before I did ten minute meditation to get you out od bed. Great improvement. But less than 5 hours sleep! And tummy still very upset! Nose a little more blocked.
(10) Was more prepared for my classes today than have been in a long time. Even though my first class didn't go 100% the way I wanted it to and the students were very confused with topic we did in second
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23(8) Tired. Bit sick. But happy and proud of my productive week. Determined to maintain positive new habits. ?24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(6) Physically feeling pretty bad which is bringing down my mood a bit as I really need to be super productive this weekend. Perhaps I overdid it last week. Difficult to find balance!
26(7) Still feeling wiped out. At least tummy cramps are in control (using Senocalm otc pills). Head cold still there. Energy still very low. Debating calling in sick tomorrow. Didn't get any prep done this27(8) didn't get too mch done yesterday but I am proud with how i have responded. Up at the usual time despite the fact that i will be going into school a bit later due to bad weather.28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
March
MTWTFSS
   1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4(6) Found it difficult to get up this morning. When I get a stretch of time off, I find it difficult to self-motivate despite big workload. Physically feeling much better than was in recent weeks.
5(6) Today and tomorrow off school. Had meant to go into university to work on assignment but convinced myself alright to stay home as nose a bit blocked. Fine now I am sitting up. Will be starting work6(5) Didn't go into university today again. Haven't left the house since Wednesday! Feel disappointed I didn't get more done during time off. Trying to focus on positives. Back to routine tomorrow!7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
12(5) Lying in bed trying to convince myself to get up. Even after doing the guided meditation to get out of bed. . . I think hunger will get me up though! My stomach is growling! ?
(6) Got myself out of bed eventually and even started doing some work despite cramps. Meeting a friend for dinner who I don't really feel connected to anymore. Trying not to get anxious about all
13(7) Have been tired lately. I tend to wake up a couple of times during night. This happened last night and woke one hour too early. Was tired and did not feel good this morning. Slept in for a while.14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(8) Slept in a little this morning. Still waking up multiple times every night. Wisdom tooth coming up - SORE! But feeling motivated and having a productive day!17(7) Uninterrupted sleep last night - yay! Wisdom tooth still sore. Realised that I didn't even THINK about staying in bed this morning/avoiding getting up. Proud. Determined to get good uni work done too.18(6) Woke up twice last night I think. . . Finding it a wee bit difficult to get up this morning. Nose blocked. Wisdom tooth pain has been easing since yesterday afternoon. Lots of deadlines coming up.
19(7) Started work late today but continued on until 10 so still quite a productive day. Deadline tomorrow, will be busy. Neck hurting last couple of days and general malaise. Easter break soon.
(5) Sinuses blocked. lingering pain in wisdom tooth. Allowing myself til 10am in bed with heat hack for stiff/sore neck. Not looking forward to the day's work. Even the week's work. Deadline at midnight.
(6) Did my sinus rinse. Still pretty blocked up. Sitting at my desk ready to start. Have decided will submit at 8pm and not stay up til midnight. Need to rest before week of teaching practice.
20(4) Stayed up till 12:30 last night to submit my project. Wasn't totally happy with what I submitted but it is only a draft. Tried to sleep in this morning but actually feel worse after snoozing.21(7) Wrecked tired. Feel exhausted these days. Trying to do last few bits for my research project before we split for Easter hols on Friday. Tedious and time consuming and other work to do as well. Also,22(4) Up til 1am last night making out questionnaire for my research. All a bit rushed. Am feeling under pressure.
(7) Proud of myself for pushing myself through tiredness and being proactive yesterday and today which will hopefully ease the pressure down the line. One day left until Easter holidays!
23(7) 2 weeks Easter Break. Plan on getting a rest for couple of days and then getting stuck into my research project. Going to a sceience teachers conference this eve/tomorrow.24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25(6) Took the day off today. Had toyed with the idea of meeting a friend and/or going for a walk but did neither. Planning on going into university tomorrow to work on research project. Dreading the early
26(7) Got up on time to get a lift in to university to work on my research project. Despite feelings of wanting to stay in bed as a little sick and cold outside the bed. Proud of myself.
(5) Trying to fulfill supervisor's suggestions for a certain part of my research project - more references for that section. Taking long time, not sure if my approach is the best/most efficient. BORED.
27(5) Decided to sleep in today instead of getting a lift into university. Slightly anxious about everything I need to do/could catch up on this Easter “break”.28(10) Reflecting on my achievements today. Off meds for 7 months. No longer have to push myself to do little basic things. Taking better care of myself. Easier to get up in mornings.Daily anxiety much lower
(5) Stayed in bed instead of getting lift into uni. Will have to cancel or reschedule lunch with friend. Disappointed in myself. I don't want to start this habit again and feel bad for cancelling lunch.
(7) Went into uni very positive-minded, determined to make up for lost morning. . . Did work but no words written yet. Staying in 'til 9pm. Background anxiety about how much time I have to do everything.
29(6) Came into university this morning. Proud I made it in time to get a lift in with my Mom. Though, admittedly, I have an appointment at 10am so that was part of the motivation. Hoping to get work done.
(5) Had therapy earlier. Came back to university. Just feel very tired. And my eye is irritated/sore. No motivation to work
30(4) Find holidays from school/university difficult. Have to self-motivate and I get lonely. Have hidden in bed today for over 3 hours and motivation very low. Bedroom VERY messy. Lots of college work.31(7) In university as a friend is doing some work. We're going out for dinner soon. So far I have avoided doing any proper work myself :P Looking forward to dinner out!
April
MTWTFSS
      1(6) To do: research project, two assignments, two presentations, listening, oral and written exam, catch up on 40 or so lesson plans, upate CV, find a job for summer, find a job for September . . .
2(5) Stayed in bed again this morning even though had planned on going into university early. Nearly midday now. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Don't want to be panicked to the max . . .
(5) Only got a little work done today . . . Feeling quite tired now. Going to have early night with aim of going into university early tomorrow. Meeting research project supervisor. Feeling behind.
3(7) Listened to my trusted guided meditation to get me out of bed on time to get a lift into university. Meeting supervisor at 2pm. Hoping to get good work done.
(6) Feeling rather chilled out. Aware of time passing this Easter hol. and remaining workload. A little bit lonely. Maybe as I have been studying every day with no company at break times.
4(6) Today - time to finish first three chapters of research project. Long overdue. I have probably spent too long at little details and definitely need to get started on results & conclusions.
(6) Getting through work quite nicely. Still, find myself trying to ward off tiredness and sinus irritation still lingering.
(5) Finding it hard to get back to work since lunch. Definitely starting to get properly sick too. :'(
5(5) Woke very early and could not get back to sleep. Might have to work at home today. Worried it will not be a productive day.6(6) Had therapy. Saw doc. - he was exceptionally kind. Got meds & advice to control sinus issues longterm. . Unexpectedly bumped into a friend. Will join up with her tomorrow and Sunday to do uni. work...
(6) Getting e-mails & notifications from recruiters and jobs site. Need to see where I can get a teaching job in September. May have to move out of my hometown which I don't want to do. Little stressed.
(7) Proud of how I got on doing assignment today. Think it did me good to take a break from the research project for a bit. :)
7(7) Working on an assignment that was due yesterday. At least I have a doctor's note. Should be able to finish & submit today. Then another one due Mon. night! :P
(8) Showered, put clean clothes away, finished and submitted assignment today. Didn't get to: visit grandparents, meet friend or go for a walk. Might practice some yoga when get home.
8(5) It would be nice to wake up without nasal congestion & throat irritation every morning. Still, I guess it could be worse. 2nd last day off before teaching practice. 4 weeks until research project due.
(7) Very nearly finished assignment due tomorrow (a day EARLY? - that's not like me!) Parents on a weekend break so house to myself (& cats!). Hope I don't get lonely when I return home!
9(5) Starting to feel antsy about job hunt/whether or not I will find a job that suits me. CV not up to date and lots of other stuff to deal with as it is. Need to make timetable but scared to face it all!
(7) Just found out - final class inspection tomorrow! Glad it is on my first day back after the break so that it won't be hanging over me, waiting! But only have three students in that class! ?
(4) Seems everytime I ask my friends to meet lately, they don't reply or are unavailable/Class inspection tomorrow. Assignment due tonight. Final assignments due in 4 weeks/Facial dermatitis itchy/Jobhunt
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(8) Got my assignment in on time on Monday. Class inspection went well yesterday. Trying to keep up my energy to catch up on lesson plans and research project.12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14(6) Had a good, productive, relaxed week but didn't do any college work yesterday afternoon and spent the last three hours awake in bed snoozing/avoiding getting up. Have been eating lots of junk lately.
(5) Didn't do any uni work or anything particularly interesting all day. Bit guilty. Hope to make up for it tomorrow. Can't wait till finished course so I won't have to feel guilty taking some time off.
15(5) Haven't done any uni work today yet even though I caught up on some laundry. Feeling like I won't achieve my goals for weekend and stressing a bit about meeting deadlines. Motivation low.
(5) Haven't done any uni work today yet even though I caught up on some laundry. Feeling like I won't achieve my goals for weekend and stressing a bit about meeting deadlines. Motivation low.
(5) Just spent the last 20 minutes at least trying to search for something that would have been useful but turned out not to be available. Still haven't started work and dreading it. Feel antsy.
(4) Getting through work quicker than I had expected but feeling irritable . The Loud neighbour in library - breathing very heavily through his nose with a bit of a whistle going on. Very irritating.
16(4) Motivation very low. Trying to remind myself how bad it will feel if I do not finish my project on time. Probably should try and focus on the positives. I hate this project. Tasks are building up.17(4) Tasks building up. Trying to write out a schedule. Feeling anxious.18(5) Didn't sleep well. Late getting up. Lots to do today. Stressful day ahead. Tasks seem to be piling up.19(10) One little thing done that I was nervous about. Feels great. Lovely day out too.
(7) avoided a university related task this afternoon/evening. Read instead. Good as it helps me escape. Bad for the same reason! hoping to finally submit draft tomorrow instead! BUSY week. sleepy now.
20(6) Woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. Skipping shower for second day in a row. ? Feeling tired. Glad it's Friday yet all too aware of approaching deadlines. Therapy this morning.
(8) Sun is shining and even though I have lots of work to do, I've got that Friday feeling! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru0K8uYEZWw
(5) Put off finishing off first bit of project to send to supervisor. AGAIN. Lovely day out but I feel like I have wasted it. Feeling sad and disappointed in myself. ?
21(7) Seeking advice. I need to submit a project by May 7th. I have been procrastinating due to anxiety, indecision, lack of motivation. . . Any tips re motivation, especially for getting started? . . .
(7) Made my plan. Put tasks in calendar. Now time to break the procrastination cycle and finally finish and submit first section of project for feedback.
22(8) Starting uni work very late today after reading until now but still feeling rather positive.
23(7) Much earlier start this morning. Lots to do. Feeling quite good. :)24(5) Feeling tired. One working car in the house presntly. So I have to go into school a bjt later. Worried about how it will be received even though I know it's a valid reason. . . .
(7) Today found out a colleague's Dad passed away from cancer. I ended up bursting into tears. Was shocked by my reaction. Own Dad in remission for last few months. Maybe it was a harsh reminder?
(8) Got invited to apply for a teaching job in the area where my sister lives. Originally, I planned on looking closer to home but it's not TOO far away and wouldn't mind so much if sis was around. Also,
25(7) Stayed up last night finishing book. Couldn't sleep after. Had to wake extra early this morning but woke 50 mins before alarm. Surprisingly, not so tired yet!26(5) Awakened early this morning bystrange whistling/howling amd then rubbish truck. Busy day ahead and need to do job application before deadline. Motivation low at present.
(4) Been a crazy week at school. We had double the amount of kids today and lots of activities on for them as the primary schools came to visit us! SO tired. Last day of teaching practice tomorrow. . .
27(5) Under pressure.
(5) Last day of teaching practice. Met application deadline. Taught two classes at same time while also prepping for following class. Me - wrecked and bit ill. Now, cleaning house before visitors.
28(7) Teaching practice complete. Time to start the final sprint to finish line of masters in teaching. Beautiful day out.29(8) I never usually practice yoga outside of the weekly class I go to but last week we did the Sun Salutations and it's so sunny out, I think I will do that to start the day. ? . . .Want to be more
30(8) Caught a lift with Mom into college. Here 45 mins before class. Time to get some little tasks out of the way before lectures 10-5, only half hour break! ? Still have beautiful sunny weather. Looking
(7) Busy, mostly productive day. Wasn't worth staying as late as I did to get work done as I wasn't able to focus for too long after day of lectures. Will try to get shorter bouts of more intense work
May
MTWTFSS
 1(6) Have been dehydrated this week. Have been trying to drink water but obviously not enough. Keep getting headaches. Job applications taking time away from uni work but I guess they are more important!
(4) Have drank 3 cups of tea and 1.25L of water and still can't shake headache. Trying to drink more but feeling full. Not feeling well. :'(
2(7) Feeling quite good this morning. Meeting with project supervisor at 11, lecture 1- 3, home at 5, yoga at 7. Day broken up nicely. Hoping to get very productive work done during library slots!
(8) This is part of the project is SO MUCH EASIER than I anticipated. I have a clear focus, found a quicker way of analysing my results and I'm ready to fly through it! #winning #finallycaughtabreak
(6) still headachy and got foot cramps at yoga again today, despite my best efforts to hydrate myself. hope it's not something more serious. . .
3(5) Constant headache and still appear to be dehydrated - maybe it is just stress but it's distracting and a little bit worrying :/4(5) Went to bed very early yesterday and watched a movie. Headache disappeared so maybe bit has been from stress. Will take painkillers today if crops up again.
(8) Nearly halfway through writing up results. Skipping along nicely through it now. Headache threatening but not in full swing. Got invited for interview for job near sis. Overall, things going well. :D
5(9) Slept in. Grandpa visited around 11, woke me up. Sun is shining. Beautiful day. May be able to get a job in university for summer. Late heading into uni to work on project. Hoping for productive day!6(5) Shouldn't have watched movie last night. It wasn't even very good. Went to sleep at 12:30. Tired now. Plan of early night so woild be fresh today - failed! ? . . .Still, didn't wake too late. . .
7(10) D-day! Project due midnight. Finished conclusion yesterday but wrote double what I should have and still need to add to results section . . . Ruthless editing stage!!! ? Home run, it's great!! ?
(4) Ended up re-organising sub-folders in my research project folder. Which is something I do when I get stressed. SOME of it was necessary, most of it was not . . . Stomach is knotted. Stress has set in
(6) Allergies bothering me today. Grass pollen count is high. I have no antihistamines with me so have been suffering all day! :P . . . Research project going alright. Still doing some tweaking.
8(7) 12 hours since I started today now. 40 mins was my longest break. I will be late submitting now but the end is nigh. Playing energetic music to stay awake! :P So close, so close
(6) 5:48am. Submitted project. Considering not going to bed at all. Exams from 9:30am. Haven't studied for them at all. Last minute cram for written exam could turn out useful and I'm so wide awake
(5) Absolutely wrecked. Luckily, Dad woke me. Need to leave within 20 minutes. Time to go and wing these exams! ? Wish me luck!! ?
9To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(5) Finished my course yesterday We celebrated the night before so I only experienced brief elation and back to moodiness. Also, project supervisor sent me feedback AFTER he deadline and wants me to12(6) Woke 6:45. Interview at 11:15. Submitted final version of research project yesterday so didn't get as much time to prep as would have liked. Will try to do a bit in journey there!!13(5) Well, interview yesterday went quite well overall. I was ill in car on way which lasted the whole day. Ended up going to bed at 8pm but still didn't have restful sleep. Still tired.
(6) Feeling a bit empty and unsure of what to do now that course is finished and crazy intense is over. Anticlimax time. Going to try and find work for summer and continue applying for teaching jobs
14(5) Was late submitting job application for job I don't really want but could have better chance of being offered as less competition. Principal of school had called and text me today too. Said he would15(4) Was 7 minutes late applying for position by e-mail today. And wasn't totally happy with my reference letter. . . It was for a school that is very close to where my sis lives and good position. . .16(6) Woke earlier than I would have liked and couldn't get back to sleep. Found it hard to motivate myself to apply for another position . . . Also, I am aware that there are summer jobs I could be missing
(6) Came into town to check about a job I saw advertised in shop window. Poster was down so didn't enquire. Really hungry. Yoga soon. Awesome weather. Bit lonely.
17(10) Yoga was awesome
(5) Trying to stay positive. Lack of contact with perrs, filling out applications and waiting to hear back from jobs does not suit me so well!
18(5) Was helping my Mom out yesterday and forgot that application for job was today at noon. Remembered after 9 but was so tired. Already was too late for first advertisememt of position and got second
(7) Dad is bugging me asking questions about jobs and pottering about while I'm trying to do application. I moved rooms. He came in & started blowing up balloons (for some sort of scarecrow I think!) . .
(8) Nearly forgot to fill in one question but luckily I timed things well and got my application in on time. Not fully happy with all of my answers but I got it in which is the most important thing. Proud
19(5) Had dinner and went out with staff from school I did teaching practice in. Just woke up and supposed to be meeting a friend in 25 mins! Didnt have time to help with housework for visitors, feel guilty20(8) Was low after drinking last two nights... Perked up after dinner. Going to bake a cake with my sister tomorrow morning. ?
21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22(8) Got a call from principal. Interview time on Thurs. moved. He seems nice. Sun is shining outside. In good spirits. ?23(5) I thought it was only Tues today. Realised in morn it's Wed. Interview tomorrow morn. Still need to work out travel logistics to/from sis' place to interview and interview place to city! Prepping now
(6) On bus to sister's place. Surpisingly not ill. Not 100 percent but could be much worse. Didn't get as much prep done as had hoped. Will do later after dinner. Maybe will try yoga before bed to unwind.
24(5) So, day of interview. Didn't sleep so well. Less than seven hours of broken, light sleep. Not feeling particularly anxious or particularly positive about interview in 4 hours, just sluggish!
(4) Had interview. Waiting on bus. Interview was at 11:15. Had booked 5pm bus yesterday to allow myself ample time to relax/get there on time. Regret not booking earlier bus. Tired and bored.
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(4) 1. Mixed up about teaching jobs for Sept and summer work that would allow me to attend interviews for former. 2. None of my friends free/interested to attend an event with me today.27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
28(4) Late with another application. E-mailed it even though supposed to be postal. tried calling to see if they would accept me delivering it by hand before end of day. No response. One hour away.
(9) 1. Got a glowing job reference. 2. Possibly found promising summer work options. 3. Spent time with brother. 4. Saw a rather rare sea bird diving for fish and got a video. 5. Making nice summer plans.
29(8) Made a database on Excel for details of all positions I am applying for so that I will not be confused or miss deadlines in future. Applying for 4 today that are all about1hour or less from my home by30(7) Today's goals: 1. Submit 4 applications 2. Call principal to let him know I declined interview (reluctant) 3. Register availability to teach grinds 4. Register interest for 2 week summer camp job31(5) Can't remember when I went to sleep. Maybe around 12. Awoke when Mom got up for work before 8. Would have liked more sleep but too awake. Time to finish tasks I outlined yesterday!
June
MTWTFSS
    1(7) Housework all day. ? Can't help checking e-mails for news on jobs. Waiting is quite agonising though I am not too worried or consumed about it. Beautiful sunshine. Drinks with friend later. ??2(6) Went out last night. Met a guy from the past and it all got a bit mixed up and strange. I had weird dreams last night . . . Meanwhile, my friend didn't text that she got home OK so I'm a bit worried!
(4) I have a feeling my friend could be annoyed at me because of how the guy joined us and I was talking to him last night. I wanted to see what he had to say and I wasn't talking to him that long but she
3(5) Retried orange cake. Still didn't come out right. Parents both grumpy with heat/trying to do work in garden/house. . . Brother calling in with girlfriend for first time later tonight.
4(5) Was up until late last night as my brother and girlfriend arrived in after 10pm and we all chatted until about 00:30. 10am now but I still feel tired! . . . Think I will contact schools I had
(8) Made a solid start at clearing out my bedroom. Feels good! Also, found alternative orange cake recipe which I might try tomorrow. AND might be due €700 tax refund from 2014! ??????
5(6) Waiting game hearing back from schools is tough! Then it is confusing to get contacted by principals who are desperately seeking candidates but in locations I have no desire to work in! Should I apply6(4) Was very happy and mood brightened to receive an offer of interview for a position in my home county but my Dad rained on my parade as it's only a 12 hour contract.7(8) Disturbed dreams last night. Think it's job hunt stress. Watered all plants. Now to do some cleaning. Then beach and diary entry to work out some things on my mind! Beautiful weather continues. ???8(4) Job search is getting me down a bit. Met a girl yesterday who sat her first interview and was offered a (fulltime) job. Makes me second guess myself! Now for another morn filling an online application
(6) Happy with latest online application though I missed opportunity to make two other applications. Disillusioned. -Think it's time to enquire about a work-from-home job used to do, just for this summer.
(5) 3rd friend to cancel plans this week. Not minding terribly, just a little but I was already feeling delicate and a bit weak/slow. I thought - I could go for a nice walk somewhere but I forgot I have
9(5) 4th time plans with friends fallen through this week ? In pain today and stomach has been off recently. ? Lonely & restless but noone around to meet! Sorted out college notes (3 bin bags!) = good.
(5) Why do I seem to be getting blamed for everything lately? ? At least the day was productive despite being long, boring, tedious and literally painful. Glad it's bedtime. Hope tomorrow is a better day
10(4) Feeling so tired today. Tried to go back to sleep but nearly feel worse after it. Interview tomorrow which have to prep for. Not feeling motivated or excited at all which makes me question whether I
11(8) Interview this morn. couldn't have gone better. Staff very friendly and full of praise. Locality - amazingly peaceful and beautiful. Hope I'm successful! Bit tired after the morn. now!12(7) So I started using a dating app on Sat. . . Now I have a date this eve with this guy that I had actually met before through a work context. I was attracted to him then but barely saw him. We had a13(8) Woke up early so I'm tired but I keep remembering little moments from last night's date that make me smile & bumped into an old friend on campus and had a quick catch up which was unexpected. Also,14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16(8) So, I met the guy for a second time. I like him a lot but concerned a little about how fast it's going. . . He has been saying very strong things (a lot) like he really likes me, he feels like he has17(8) Date 3: Gifted pink roses and he baked me a vegan brownies with carob instead of choc because I am allergic to milk and cocoa! Asked me to be his girlfriend. Told me I'm prefect. ?
18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19(6) Continuing with more tedious applications, though I feel like I'm in with a good chance of gteting the school I inteviewed for Mon last week. Skype interview Thurs for school where my sis lives. . .20(5) Realised I have been feeling a bit stressed out the last few days. Think I have been too socially active and need a little more time for myself. And more sleep!! Most importantly, I have noticed this.
(4) Feeling very irritable . . . Have been feeling stressed out last couple of days. I think it's a combination of 1. Job hunt and waiting to hear back. 2. Too much socialising/not enough me time
21(6) Interview today. I looked up some info. about the second teaching subject which is a new topic it seems. And info. about the school. Still lots to do. It will be on Skype - super convenient! ?
(4) Feeling really wound up about my interview later and of course have responded by paying way too much attention to detail saving docs for prep and organising them into folders. I need to just start
22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter29To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
July
MTWTFSS
      1To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
2To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter3(8) Well, much has happened since I last posted! I was offered two jobs! Today I accepted one! It ticks most of the boxes though I will have to move to work there! Received 2.1 in my course today too! ??4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter6(6) Bad - neck and shoulders so sore and stiff and sprained wrist after backstand in yoga class yesterday. ? Good - Received call from principal who said some super nice things and contract in the post.
(8) My cat surprised me by coming up ever so silently beside me and rubbing in to me. We went round the garden together and I photographed all the wild flowers in the garden and some insects too.
7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8(8) Spent most of weekend with boyfriend. Nice and chill. ? Helping out summer camp for next 2 weeks. Looking forward to working with kids, time out of house and more routine!
9(7) Woke in mid of night with allergic reaction - too much chocolate over weekend! Must be stricter. Summer camp started. Went well. Will stay in uni to prep lessons.
(10) Found a wheel of lie exercise I completed for therapy a few months ago. Filled in a new one over the old. Was happy and proud to see how much fuller and more balanced my current wheel of life is. ?
(10) Found a wheel of lie exercise I completed for therapy a few months ago. Filled in a new one over the old. Was happy and proud to see how much fuller and more balanced my current wheel of life is. ?
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(7) Summer camp going fine. Starting some other temp work this afternoon. Glad to have opportunity to earn some more cash. Neck still a bit sore after last week's backstand.
(5) Dad just vomitted a lot. This is about the fourth time in last couple of months. Seemsto happen mid-monthly chemo cycle. Difficult to see him ill and suffering ? Don't understand why they didn't
12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter13(7) First week of summer camp finished. Received a card and gift of Miniature Heroes from one of the kids. Did some work in afternoons too. New student for tutorials on topic I have lots of experience in.14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15(7) Stayed at a friend's last night. Was nice to spend time together. Little bit worried I scratched the wall as I had pushed the bed up aginst it as there was a gap between mattress and the frame and
(4) It's amazing how small my parents can make me feel over really little things sometimes. #afewtears #feelinglow #cantwaittogetoutofthehouse
16(8) When your boyfriend cheers you up ?17To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter18To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter19To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter20To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter21To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter22To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
23To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter24To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter25To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter26(5) Health worry, waiting on news. Moving for new job soon. Have some questions but principal is on hols. Trying to look for a place but prob a bit too early as don't want to have to pay for whole of Aug!27To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter28(5) Feeling bored/unmotivated. Kept eating things I was allergic to. Now my gut is really irritated throughout the day, especially after eating. Need to stop.29(5) Feeling restless, kind of anxious. Lots of things I COULD do but don't really feel motivated to do any of it. ?
30To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter31To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
August
MTWTFSS
  1(5) Health worry ongoing. Stayed at home to help Dad as he is ill. Have postponed prep for taching lessons, bothered me yesterday. Maybe I need to make a bit of a plan/set shorter term goals to make it2(6) have been very unproductive today so far. . . This weird period of waiting to start work and trying to save money for that too! Stressing about what it will be like and trying to time the best time to3To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter4To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter5To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
6To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter7To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter8To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter9(5) I am ill. House-hunting is stressful. Some doubts about my relatively new relationship.
(6) Feeling a little better physically. Going to teach a tutorial this eve. Still on edge waiting for important things to happen. Also, I struggle with asking management for things I need. Never know the
(4) Starting to feel quite emotional about everything and lots of different thoughts flying around. I don't like this. Going to hit a quiet café to reflect and write out my feelings. Need to process.
10To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter11(3) I tried to write a list of all the things that bug me about my parents/things in the past that properly upset or distressed me. It made me feel angry. So I tried to make a list of things I love about12To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter
13To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter14To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter15To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter16To view data older than 3 months, become a MoodPanda Supporter17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons
20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons
27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons31No Reasons
September
MTWTFSS
     1No Reasons2No Reasons
3No Reasons4No Reasons5(3) Hope everyone is doing alright on here . . . Things got very tough for me for a while and I guess I even just forgot to write here. I'm starting to settle a little now again.6No Reasons7No Reasons8No Reasons9No Reasons
10No Reasons11No Reasons12No Reasons13No Reasons14No Reasons15(4) Sick, a bit lonely and some disturbing memories/thoughts (not overwhelming). Positives: my bedroom is lovely and tidy. I have nice tealights and decorations and my favourite lamp with dim lighting.
(5) Have had an upsy-downsy morning. Some periods of excitement and some tears. I think they were healthy tears though. Some mixed emotions. But as I said, I think it has been quite healthy. This year is
16(6) Had a nice weekend. Worked on organising my songs/poetry, spent some time with my sis (tasty dinner & hilarious movie :) ), grocery shopping, laundry, walk, my teacher prep for school week. Tired now.
17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons20No Reasons21(3) I found out last night (by probing), that my boyfriend wants to go back to his home country when he finishes his PhD and he knows that he doesn't want to do long distance then. . . I cried a lot and22No Reasons23No Reasons
24No Reasons25No Reasons26No Reasons27(4) Ex-boyfriend and I broke up Friday over phone. Found out Friday night that my Grandpa had been admitted to hospital after what they reckon was a minor heart attack. Visited Grandpa Sat & Sun. Met ex28No Reasons29(4) Tired and a bit lonely. Was missing my ex just a little today but not too much. . . Really tired actually. . . Have only had one meal though up for about 13 hours now. Will either eat or sleep soon.30(5) Have been quite productive so far today. Breakfast, tidied and rearranged my bedroom, laundry, cleaned my dishes. Made a list of things to do to -housework, grocery shopping and school stuff. Feels
(3) Grocery shopping took three hours between walking to and from the shops, forgetting something and having to go back etc. . . Next time will not go on Sunday as bus is only once every hour. . .
October
MTWTFSS
1(4) I want to thank everyone who has given me hugs and comments the past few days. It means a lot at the end of a hard day to log in and see uplifting comments and unconditional support! Thanks Pandas <32(3) I'm SO TIRED. I guess late nights working last week are catching up with me. Today is my busiest day at school and I am not fully prepared. Keep feeling like I am chasing my tail/running after myself.3(3) Everything seems difficult. No matter how much work I put in, I still feel behind. Everything seems to take so much time or so much money. Things that save money, take time. Things that save time,
(3) Was very hard to get up this morning. Forgot to charge phone and iPad again. . . Feeling very tired, a bit nauseous and a bit fed up. Can't wait until I am caught up with all my photocopying and
4(3) I feel so tired. Can't wait for this week to be over. Open night at school tonight. We will have a half day but have to come back into school from around 6-9pm. Not really looking forward to it.5(5) Open night was quite enjoyable and got to spend time socialising with other teachers beforehand. We went for a meal. It was nice to spend time socialising with some of the other young teachers.?Tired
(5) Feeling lonely and a bit fed up. Frustrated too. . . Trying to focus on some positive options/thoughts.
(3) Feeling lonely and a bit fed up. Frustrated too. . . Trying to focus on some positive options/thoughts.
(4) I feel like messaging or calling my ex. On one hand, I feel like it would not be the worst idea despite having initally felt it would be better to have a clean break, at least for the getting over
6(4) Woke at 5:30am thinking about schoolwork. Bit of stomach pain and gas. I think my landlord (I share with him) is up and about downstairs right now, noisy enough. He drinks every Friday night and
(3) I don't know what the hell he is doing but he is being quite noisy. Feel like going downstairs to check/let him know he has basically woken me up and is continuing to disturb my sleep by making noise
(7) Something that I thought would take aaaages, was super quick and the whole thing will work out much better than I thought. Boosted my mood and motivation a lot.
(1) I miss my ex. It was his birthday on Wed. Before we split, we had made plans for me to meet his parents for the first time yesterday and I had booked a spa package for us (just him and I) today. Sad.
7(6) Good day, bit random. Made out a budget, including loan repayments. Sorted out some papers. Wrote in my diary. Need to prioritise now, get some small tasks done and commit to winding down this eve.
(4) Correcting tests. Feels like it is taking forever. Heat making me sleepy. Trying to press on while I am torrenting a movie to watch later.
(4) Ended up calling my ex. Glad I did. Got to swap bits of news, check in with each other. Both of us remained respectful of one another's boundaries. Tired now. Will write in my diary before I go to bed
8No Reasons9(2) Last night I had five Timeout bars, an XL Yorkie and XL Snickers bar. I am an allergic to cocoa and milk. So I took four antihistamine tablets. Ashamed yet indifferent, some self disgust too. ?
(3) Didn't sleep well last two nights. But being easier on myself, reducing time spent doing school prep. . . Busiest day of the week today, here we go!!
(3) Feeling strangely hyped up. A lot of adrenaline I guess. Such a nice day out and I would love to go for a walk but I have work to do and I am in my school clothes (wearing a suit and boots).
(4) Tired. So tired . . . Good news: was invited to go to choir tomorrow by a friend (fellow teacher from school). Will go. Yay socialising opportunities! Also, found out about a yoga thing on Sunday too!
10(3) We did team teaching today but the other teacher just kind of took over and taught for the duration of most of the class and I was demoted to helper. Worried that the kids/parents will say that I am
(2) I left the window open for a few hours last night. Now there are four LARGE spiders in my bedroom. 3 are on the ceilling, handing out in various corners which I don't mind so much but one scuttled
(2) Lack of consistency from organisations we are working with for a grant application for funding for tech. equipment for the science classrooms. Under huge pressure for time to get our application in on
(1) Turbulent emotions
11(4) My first choir practice was great but I started thinking about some deep stuff and some things that happened a few weeks ago, so mood has dropped a wee bit since ?
(2) Tired & worried about grant application. Frustrated from (semi) lack of support from colleagues in Science dept. and especially mixed messages from funding body and support team.
(4) Just binge ate again. Ate chocolate (a lot) despite cocoa & milk allergies :/. Don't know why. Weird feeling of indifference, some shame. I was so happy earlier too so it doesn't make sense :'(
12(3) Poor night's sleep last night. Was too hot in the bed and got a phonecall at 2am from a drunk girl trying to find her friend. . . At least it's Friday!
(3) Goals: 1. Healthier eating - nip the binge eating, especially anything I'm allergic to, in the bud. 2. Regular bedtime and time to get up. 3. Diary entry every night.
13(8) Made the grant application on time. Principal saw me working late (on a Friday eve especially = good impression) & complimented me. Really nice relationship with most of my classes. :D
(4) Not the best night's sleep ever but in fairness I could have written in my diary/done something to wind down right before going to sleep. Feeling pretty good but quite tired.
(7) Only this past little while, I have started being more honest on here and also even with myself about my mood. I think I was over-rating it a month or so ago since I started on MP. Thanks all for
14(6) Was super productive yesterday. Am going to prioritise and get a little more schoolwork done today but aim to spend most of the day realxing. Quite well prepared for the week already. ?
(6) Haircut. Shopped for graduation dress. Sister came to meet me. Went to a cinema club “Meet Up” and met some new people. Found a student to tutor for a little extra cash. #feelinggood #proudofmyself
15(5) Tired this morning and didn't get a chance to return to school prep yesterday so feeling a little unprepared heading into the week, which is always busiest at the start of the week as it is ?16No Reasons17No Reasons18No Reasons19No Reasons20(3) I graduated on Thursday. We went out a as a class Wed night to celebrate. I got very drunk and upset but noone saw. I drank water and went home. Thursday was a nice day. I enjoyed it and made sure to
(2) Family stuff. Lots of strong, mixed and whirling emotions.
21(7) Was stressed earlier but did the right thing and calmed myself down. Had a nice family meal in the house and I enjoyed a nice night out with my sister. Teaching a lesson tomorrow at 11am.
(3) When everyone is gone and you are left to your own thoughts and they turn a bit dark :'(. Tired and lonely and worried. :/
22(1) Super tired. Don't want to face a week of work. Few things I am very worried about.23(2) My therapist says I need to challenge myself and my inner critic. My friend says I need to be able to ground myself. I find that extremely difficult to be honest - any tips from fellow pandas please?24(3) Have been feeling so tired and fed up at school this week. Pressure on to finish preparing my exam classes for upcoming test. Technology problems which is stressful as they can't access the notes.25No Reasons26(8) Really tired but in good mood. Attended meet up for Halloween jazz parade. Great fun. Socialising after = very natural and not awkward. Will attend again. Also, cute Italian guy my age in group :)
(7) I am going to write comments on this post with links to websites/suggestions for coping with worry/anxiety/panic/dissociation/depression/trauma etc. Feel free to comment with your ideas too :)
27(4) Feeling a bit torn between where I long - friends/family at home vs. new life here where I haven't established friends yet. Pressure from both sides as to where I stay at weekends. Feeling guilty28No Reasons
29(3) Wrote in my diary for an hour but didn't even get to speak about what I wanted to most yet. Although I find it beneficial, sometimes takes so long to write out/process everything. Bit lonely/worried.30(5) On my way to my medical procedure. Valium is weird. I feel slow, little unsteady on my feet. Hopefully will do the trick and make everything easier. I was worried it would be painful but this should
(5) On my way to my medical procedure. Valium is weird. I feel slow, little unsteady on my feet. Hopefully will do the trick and make everything easier. I was worried it would be painful but this should
(6) Mess up at the doctor's. Couldn't have procedure. Was supposed to have had tests done & results back beforehand. So sleepless night, early morning and valium and painkiller all in vain! Silver lining:
31(3) Procrastinated and avoided schoolwork all day. Again. Going out but running late. Frustrated at myself and stressed out!
November
MTWTFSS
   1(2) Stayed up super late reading despite having being tored last few days AND need to get work done today. Also have therapy so will lose time for that. Time has slipped away on me for working if I want2(5) Feeling a little sad and empty this morning. Last night, I was scrolling through my Whatsapp messages and saw a picture of my ex. Had been missing him lately, things reminding me of him. Had a cry.
(2) Just spent 19 mins correcting 1 test. 171 to do in total. Definitely going to have to speed things up bigtime. . .This is challenging my perfectionism/indecision/compulsions to double-check things. :/
(1) Tried to speed up test corrections but still taking longer than I'd like. Evidence of several people cheating. One troublesome student clearly copied the whole test. Very frustrated.
3No Reasons4(4) Think I may have accidentally missed some cooments/replies so apologies to anyone who that may relate to. Corrected tests all day. Very tedious but picked up some tricks to help it go quicker. Pushed
(4) Corrected tests 'till 10pm, then watched TV/chatted with landlord till 2am last night. ? At least I am up early now. So - early start and aim to approach have a focused, systematic approach to work
(5) Quite proud of how I got on today. I was super disciplined and productive and I prioritised my tasks. Didn't get to finish everything I wanted to but I think I am making the right decision . . .
(6) So I actually stayed up and corrected some more tests/did some more school work. Focused and tomorrow's tasks written out. Feeling positive but definitely time for a little reading and then bed.
5No Reasons6(3) Didn't follow my intention of not skipping sleep. Stayed a coupke of hours after school but then stayed up late half working/half watching a video. Wrecked tired now. ? Lots of pressure at school.
(5) Have to do a training day tomorrow. Only found out @ end of school day today. Had to leave work for all my classes. Was much easier than previously as I was already organised/prepared. Tired.
7(2) I just seem to feel tired all the time. ?
(5) Can't seem to get my ex out of my mind lately. Keep remembering times we had together etc. Missing him a lot. . . Training day was super useful but very intense. Bit drained now.
(5) Rang ex. Was nice. I cried silently a few times. I wanted to tell him that I really miss him but I didn't. Correct decision. It was so nice to hear his voice, share some jokes and chat a bit. Tired.
(2) Really tired but can't sleep. ?
8(3) Rang my ex a second time last night. Had something I wanted to say. Probably crossed the line when I told him I was missing him a lot this week and that I was worried when I thought he had changed9(4) Found out one of my students has been cutting themselves today. A lot of her classmates/friends were very upset about it too. It upset me too and has been at the back of my mind most of the day.10(5) In a few mins, we are having a dinner - myself, sister and husband, bro and gf. The last time I saw my sis' husband, I accused him of mistreating my sis, fled from the house and then locked myself in11(6) Feeling proud of myself . . . and calm.
12(3) Stayed up late enough tidy my bedroom and organise my things for today. Didn't sleep well. Maybe I need more relaxing time before bed. Tired. Busy day ahead.
(5) Had counselling this eve. Forgot I would have a double class free/supervision tomorrow and corrected maths tests instead of tests with class I have before free double . . . And tired. Think it's time
13(5) Landlord got very drunk. Pee all over toilet seat. He fell asleep on the couch with a vodka in hand. I turned off the TV and took the glass out of his hand. He woke up a while later, very giggly.
(5) Landlord got very drunk. Pee all over toilet seat. He fell asleep on the couch with a vodka in hand. I turned off the TV and took the glass out of his hand. He woke up a while later, very giggly.
(2) Don't feel like getting up today. Tummy upset. . . Decided to write landlord a note about pee on toilet as I can't muster up the courage to say anything in person. . . Feel unprepared for the day ?
(0) Really dreading the day to be honest. Stomach very upset. ? (0 due to pain in stomach)
(4) Staying late at work. Tired and low energy but want to finally finish corrections so am up to date with them.
14(4) Bed @ 10 last night but hardly got a wink of sleep. Kept window open so wouldn't get too hot. Rain and wind loud all night. At least I had my work done before bed so less pressure today.
(4) Teaching feels like being a juggler - you have to deal with so many things at once AND keep the crowd happy/engaged. It takes a lot of energy.
15(7) Bed @ 00:00 last night. Awake around 6:10am. . . Spent a few minutes watching the little birds outside my window and listening to them sing. Nice start to the day. ? . . Tummy a little upset.16No Reasons17No Reasons18No Reasons
19No Reasons20No Reasons21No Reasons22No Reasons23No Reasons24No Reasons25No Reasons
26No Reasons27No Reasons28No Reasons29No Reasons30No Reasons