6.4 avg
  1144 days
  7060 hugs
  100 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Cindy M · 16h 5
Have to work this weekend, as it's time to enroll students...We 'volunteer' for this, though I don't remember 'volunteering' for the whole weekend. Must be more careful next year! Not done it
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Cindy M · 01 Sep
before so, as always, feeling quite anxious. Ugh. At least one of my friends is working with me.
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Lydia R · 01 Sep
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 01 Sep
Good thing your friend 'volunteered' too.
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John T · 01 Sep
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Johnny gonzales J · 01 Sep
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Cindy M · 01 Sep
Sadly she's ill, so it's just me doing our task, but so far all okay....
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Kara L · 01 Sep
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Kara L · 01 Sep
Sorry you're alone doing it Cindy. I hope it's going well xx
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DesBear D · 01 Sep
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Jeff M · 02 Sep
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Reba H · 02 Sep
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Margot L · 02 Sep
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Metron A · 03 Sep
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Tuxi A · 03 Sep
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nixiblu . · 16h
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Cindy M · 16h 5
Slept much of today, have done a few chores but not feeling the motivation. Not good particularly when my move is so close and haven't started packing, cleaning etc. Got keys this week but still want
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nixiblu . · 16h
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 Sep
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Tuxi A · 2h
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Manda P · 08 Sep
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Manda P · 08 Sep
😔 Sorry, Cindy. Moving is so hard. May it go swiftly & smoothly. xx
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Reba H · 09 Sep
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Cindy M · 08 Sep
to be here. Probably in denial :(
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Lydia R · 09 Sep
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Jasmin D NEW · 08 Sep
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Manda P · 16h 3
Drinking. I was a month & a half sober. All bcuz of lack of access to the greenery medicine. Bought last month & this month's 6 packs. So disappointed in myself but I might as well get drunk. Stupid.
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Manda P · 16 Sep
Oh, I bought 4 new books in 2 different stores when I've been purchasing books strictly from Amazon for many years. Manic spending. Didn't even have enough of my own money. Used BF's credit card that l also have in my name. Not supposed to do that.
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DesBear D · 16 Sep
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 16 Sep
❤️
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Lydia R · 16 Sep
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 16 Sep
1,5 month is a great accomplishment and you'll get there again and then it'll be an even longer time. Relapses are normal, so don't beat yourself up. 💕
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Nakila C · 16 Sep
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 16 Sep
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paul M · 16 Sep
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paul M · 16 Sep
It happens. Now you can start again.
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Cindy M · 16 Sep
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 16 Sep
Lydia and Paul are absolutely right. Be kind to yourself xx
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Natalie C · 16 Sep
That's a great achievement 🏆 really proud of you Manda😊. Dont worry about taking a break or giving yourself a few days off then carry on with the good work xx
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Margot L · 16 Sep
*Hugs*
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Jen B · 16 Sep
Echoing the comments about not beating yourself up. Lack of greenery can be so rough. ❤️
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Love 1 · 3d
I feel crummy, too, when I indulge in an old habit I was trying to break. The pandas call for self-compassion and gentleness can be a balm to soothe the wound as we dust ourselves off and try again.
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Alicia B · 3d
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 3d
They say if you slip up you don't go back to square one because you've got all of the experience and tools still with you. And you can get back on track easier this time. Big fluffy hugs
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Manda P · 3d
Aw! You guys are THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!!! Thank you so much. I can really be a little kinder to myself now. I stopped at four & drank three last night. BF had one so I have four left.
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Manda P · 3d
Hit enter too soon. I will try to limit it to two tonight & no more alcohol after that. I was hating myself with each sip.
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nixiblu . · 16h
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Manda P · 16h 5
Rough morning. Daughter had an appt & we went grocery shopping. Didn't want to go, BF insisted & then changed his mind after I was dressed. Of course I refused to stay home after that & said I...
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Manda P · 3d
...wouldn't be here when they got back if he didn't take me. Everything at the store repulsed me. Cried as a funeral procession passed. Cried while walking back from getting the mail. BF made me smoke an old joint I found. Of course I immediately...
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Manda P · 3d
...returned to a normal mood level after I did it. Hate that I depend on it so much but keep reminding myself that it wouldn't be a problem if I lived in a different state. Just a med.
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Rosie C NEW · 3d
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Etta B · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d
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Bipolar Bear . · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
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Alicia B · 2d
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DesBear D · 2d
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nixiblu . · 16h
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Manda P · 16h 1
I want to end it. The tears are pouring. My mind is going 800 million miles a second. I need to get the hell outta here but BF won't let me leave. Thinking up crazy plans like renting a car &...
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Manda P · 3d
...are driving down to visit my parents. BF says no way & that we could even look into going down twice a year as a family like it's supposed to be. Cry cry cry die die die. Not even drinking.
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Manda P · 3d
BF did give me a Klonopin. I won't remember any of this tomorrow. I asked for a sleeping pill but he refused. It's a really big deal that he gave me the Klonopin. He hates me taking those.
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Manda P · 3d
I have no one to talk to. I called my (ex)stepdad last night & made plans to visit & go out to lunch on Wed. I don't want to bother him again tonight. I texted my one internet friend that I have her number but she hasn't replied. I want to call a...
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Manda P · 3d
...helpline because I need help but I've done that before & they dispatched an ambulance & police. I snuck out of the apartment as they pulled up. BF REALLY doesn't want me to do inpatient but I've been on this Zyprexa steadily increasing the dose...
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Manda P · 3d
...for well over a month & I'm still completely f*cked. I hate this. Basically a year long episode now. I forget what it feels like to be stable & am afraid I'll never get to feel it again. I need help. I wish I had a friend who I could call. I'm...
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Manda P · 3d
...such a pathetic piece of sh*t. I truly hate myself. Disgusting sack of a royal b*tch that is useless & nothing but trouble. Opened a beer.
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Natalie C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 3d
So sorry you're feeling so low Manda ❤ I really wish I could be with you, to let you know your not alone & to tell you how proud I am that your still here battling through the episode💪
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Natalie C · 3d
Please take care of yourself, I really worry about you. & if you ever need a friend to talk to we can speak on Instagram chat or swap emails 💕 xx
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Missy C · 3d
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Xavier T · 3d
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Bipolar Bear . · 2d
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Bipolar Bear . · 2d
Im so sorry you're feeling like this Manda! I wish I could hug you in person and tell you that you are a strong woman, you are a warrior! You are not useless and we love you! ❤
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John T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
Aw, Manda, sorry you had such a hard night. I really hope that things are better in the light of today. I know it's hard to remember, but you were in the green not so long ago. It is possible to not feel this bad! You can get there!
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Jeff M · 2d
It may not seem like it now, but you're such a strong panda! Sending you my strength!
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Alicia B · 2d
First, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, it sounds awful, and I wish I could help. Second, this is all very strange, why can't you go visit someone alone? Why can't you go to inpatient if you really need help, and it might help?
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Alicia B · 2d
Is BF on a ***e watch with you, is that why he wants to be there? Sorry if this is too personal, you don't have to answer.
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DesBear D · 2d
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 2d
❤️❤️❤️
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Margot L · 16h
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 16h
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 16h
Manda. You are NOT pathetic. I'm sorry I've only just seen this post. You do have friends here and I'm happy to hear your stepdad is still in your life. We are here for you. Big, solid hugs
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Julie Shorey · 2d 5
First week off sick, can only imagine what they are saying about me now, gives them something to gossip about I suppose
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Kym S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Kym S · 2d
They sound like rather sad people, hope you feel better soon
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Penelope P · 2d
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nixiblu . · 2d
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Robert H · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
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Alicia B · 2d 6
This one is not just about food, bear with me. The Intuitive Eating book tells you to listen to your hunger levels and feed your body when and what it needs. Learning to do this takes time, one might
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Alicia B · 2d
be really disconnected from one's desires. What I'm starting to see in myself is a disconnect from most physical aspects of life. TMI coming your way, but when I need to go to the bathroom it's like always an emergency. Nothing, nothing, then bladder
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Alicia B · 2d
about to burst. Also, sex. I don't want to have sex anymore. Unless there's some outside stimulation, and then all of a sudden I want it very much, maybe three times in a row, please and thank you.
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Alicia B · 2d
I am the horniest when I meditate, basically. As soon as I am back in my head I'm like that friggin song Free From Desire (LOL, John, I like your version better). I don't know my body anymore. Food for thought, eh?
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Penelope P · 2d
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 2d
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John T · 2d
*thumbs up Emoji* credit goes to the duo Phatworld for the remix
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Jeff M · 2d
Hmm...interesting. The whole disconnect with our bodies. Thinking about that. I think it happens as we get older. We NEED things less or are just less aware of those things. Interesting how your conscious thoughts interfere...
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Alicia B · 2d
I agree, it happens with age, as do low grade depressions, and maybe it shouldn't be that way, maybe we make too many rules and too little time to listen to ourselves.
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Lydia R · 2d
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Natalie K NEW · 1d
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sonny S · 19h
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Penelope P · 2d 6
Met a friend. Glad I got out of the house. Bit of contact with M. But now I am so numb and just staring into space.
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Penelope P · 2d
Thanks Panda chums x
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nixiblu . · 2d
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 2d
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Jen B · 2d
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Robert H · 2d
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Anna D · 2d
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Aurora R · 2d
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Lucy S NEW · 2d
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Lucy S NEW · 2d
That's so great you went out and met a friend :)
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Lucy S NEW · 2d 3
Went to CBT appointment this morning. Made me feel a bit worse but trying to be positive now. Not really sure how this app works but it was mentioned in one of the booklets I was given :)
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nixiblu . · 2d
*Hugs*
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Robert H · 2d
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Aurora R · 2d
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John T · 2d
All therapy is tough but it'll be worth once you learn some better thinking habits and skills.
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John T · 2d
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John T · 2d
*worth it,
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
Welcome, Lucy! You can use this app however you feel is helpful. Good way to keep track of your moods and what's going on. Plus, it can be social. Hugs are support and encouragement!
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Lucy S NEW · 2d
Thank you very much, I'll get to grips with it!
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Jen B · 2d
Welcome to the app, Lucy!
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Lucy S NEW · 2d
Thank you, do you find it useful?
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John T · 15 Sep 4
Been feeling really tense all day, so hoping the diazepam will kick in soon. Just done a strength work out, of sorts, I keep putting it off, but I might as well do it while not running. Taken tablets.
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 15 Sep
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Jeff M · 15 Sep
Good for you. Strength is important! Also, muscle burns more calories than fat, so super healthy to add muscles. Hope tension eases!
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Manda P · 16 Sep
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Kym S · 16 Sep
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Cindy M · 16 Sep
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Natalie C · 16 Sep
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Jeff M · 15 Sep 4
So frustrating - my friend's wife took her life less than six months ago, and he's dating some cute woman 15+ years younger than him. I've been alone forever. I want him to be happy, but how come I...
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Jeff M · 13 Sep
...never get to be happy?
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Vanessa V · 13 Sep
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paul M · 13 Sep
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paul M · 13 Sep
Some people are like that. Not us, it seems.
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DesBear D · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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Manda P · 14 Sep
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Reba H · 15 Sep
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Penelope P · 15 Sep 7
Off on a walk today with the mutt I sometimes sit for. Lady things have started. Feel a bit sensitive. Will miss M.
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paul M · 13 Sep
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Lydia R · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Tuxi A · 15 Sep 5
Super busy at work but otherwise okay.
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Jeff M · 13 Sep
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Robert H · 13 Sep
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DesBear D · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Reba H · 15 Sep
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Asper K · 15 Sep 4
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Jeff M · 13 Sep
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Lydia R · 13 Sep
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John T · 13 Sep
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DesBear D · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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sonny S · 14 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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DesBear D · 15 Sep 5
Hunkered down at home waiting for the storm
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Zoe D · 13 Sep
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Lydia R · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
Stay safe! Thinking of you
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Bipolar Bear . · 13 Sep
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sonny S · 14 Sep
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Jeff M · 14 Sep
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Manda P · 14 Sep
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Manda P · 14 Sep
Stay safe, my lovely Des! xx
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Silke V · 15 Sep 7
His parents are going home early in the morning. Curious how our vacation on own will be.
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Zoe D · 13 Sep
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Lydia R · 13 Sep
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Cindy M · 13 Sep
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sonny S · 14 Sep
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Jeff M · 14 Sep
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Manda P · 14 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Penelope P · 15 Sep 5
We are off to a museum today but I'm on lady business so I get nervous out in public, nervous about looking like an idiot, nervous about whether he'll still like me. Should enjoy it but, y'know.
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Penelope P · 14 Sep
If anyone else suffers from such anxieties, please know you are not alone. It's just we don't all shout out “hey I'm terrified” when out in public. Hope Pandas have a good day. Pen x
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John T · 14 Sep
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Jeff M · 14 Sep
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
I used to feel like that, too. In a way I think I've shut down a lot of my emotions not to feel that. You are brave for still feeling them and being yourself. <3
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Penelope P · 14 Sep
Thanks John, Jeff and Alicia x
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Kym S · 15 Sep 5
Dyed some shorts dark green and very happy with them. Also bought Knots by R. D. Laing from a charity shop, it is an absolute tongue twister
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John T · 14 Sep
I remember reading about him a long time ago. Is he the anti psychiatry guy? I always thought that if I were ever treated by a psychiatrist like him I'd be out of my tree the whole time with him trying to talk me out of mania and psychosis without...
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John T · 14 Sep
...using medication. Wow, it must have been a nightmare for his patients. How they must have suffered...
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John T · 14 Sep
*Hugs*
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John T · 14 Sep
I just looked him up again. 'Schizophrenia is just a theory' - bull***! Tell that to the millions of people around the world who hear voices, suffer delusions, and have hallucinations...
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Kym S · 14 Sep
It does anger me as well, it's like when people say 'the real you' will be changed if you take medication, well no, the real me doesn't enjoy hearing voices and would prefer to work and be happy
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Kym S · 14 Sep
Or saying you should be on the minimum amount to 'get used to dealing with your symptoms'.. Like, would you say that to a diabetic who 'should get used to crashes'.. It's a medical condition, a chemical imbalance of the brain is physical
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Kym S · 14 Sep
I didn't know Laing had those kinds of views, I will investigate, cheers
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Robert H · 14 Sep
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Lydia R · 15 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Jeff M · 15 Sep 5
Doing ok today I guess. Don't get to work at home today. Oh well. Feeling blah, I guess. Better not to think...
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paul M · 14 Sep
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me M · 14 Sep
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Bipolar Bear . · 14 Sep
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Robert H · 14 Sep
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Manda P · 14 Sep
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
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John T · 14 Sep
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Jen B · 15 Sep
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Lydia R · 15 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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Reba H · 15 Sep
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Tuxi A · 16 Sep
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Manda P · 15 Sep 4
Parents & Sis over an hour apart but getting & going to get wrecked by Hurricane Florence. Sis already w/o power. Only strong winds at parents' so far, rain starting later. Trying not worry. Failing.
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 14 Sep
Oh, no, that sounds terrifying… I wouldn't be able not to worry, either.
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Jeff M · 14 Sep
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 14 Sep
I hope they all do ok! Losing power is expected, I guess...hope that's the worst of it for them!
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Manda P · 14 Sep
Thank you, Alicia & Jeff. 💖 Mom promises she'll keep me posted. Sis is conserving phone battery but checked in two hours ago & is ok. They are in Wilmington, NC & just a few minutes south of Myrtle Beach, SC. Not exactly the best locations for this.
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John T · 14 Sep
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paul M · 14 Sep
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Margot L · 14 Sep
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Lydia R · 15 Sep
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nixiblu . · 15 Sep
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