5.2 avg
  1536 days
  20087 hugs
  222 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Manda P · 22h 2
Mega lost my sh*t on the car ride home. Took two of the pills I was supposed to if that happened. Ended up not talking the last several hours. Cried. BF said my 'medicinal plant' is the only thing...
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Manda P · 1d
...keeping me from not committing su*c*de. He's probably right. That's the only thing that makes me feel normal (besides the vacation) & it obviously only lasts a bit. I said I wanted to quit because I rely on it too much, but he says if we lived...
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Manda P · 1d
...in a different state, I would definitely have an actual prescription for it. He's going to try & make edibles so the 'medicine' lasts longer. I was a mess when we got home. Didn't even look at our cats. He forced me to take the 'medicine' & then..
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Manda P · 1d
...I was totally fine. Hate my sh*t life here though. Mom says we'll work together to make the time until next summer better & that we'll try to come up with ways for me to make friends IRL. I'm going to ask my new therapist to help me w/ideas too.
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Jeff M · 1d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 1d
You're lucky to have your bf and mom trying to help (even though it does sound smart not to depend on your 'medicine' too much!). It's always sad to leave a really good vacation, can easily trigger that kind of reaction. Hope you do better today!
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Manda P · 1d
Thanks, Jeff. I did 40 min of yoga (my Sis told me I looked good & she could tell I was getting fit!), I've already talked about many happy moments & how we'll pull together ALLLLLL of the awesome pics combined with all the pics my stepdad took &...
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Manda P · 1d
...pick only 8 for the cool picture frame my parents got for daughter to hang in her room, found out all my complaining has damaged my brain from a just published Stanford study & that I can't repair what's happened, just stop it from getting...
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Manda P · 1d
...worse, told BF he doesn't listen to me & only got told to stop arguing, cried because of the conversation I'm having with my sister, took my 'medicine', skipped breakfast, & brushed & loved on the cats. It's only 10:30AM.
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DesBear D · 1d
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 1d
I love my vape, it also makes the special medicine last longer because you can use the vaped stuff for edibles without having to cook it! Its the Sutra Mini. I think its the best medicine there is..
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Jeff M · 1d
I'm glad you have the cats and your medicine...I don't know if your brain is damaged (they're awfully powerful, self-repairing computers after all) but then I suppose we damage our brains all the time. They keep working though!
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John T · 1d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 22h
💕💕
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Manda P · 21h
Wtf?! I replied to this earlier! Des- I started vaping awhile ago. So much better! He's saving it & then will add fresh stuff w/it for the edibles. I'm super pumped! As long as I can get it, he's doing it Saturday. Thanks, John & Esther. Missed you!
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Love 1 · 19h
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 22h 6
Fun run with people last night in crazy humidity. Legs feel great, best they have in a while! Probably won't after this weekend's race, but I'm very thankful for that.
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Jeff M · 1d
Feel like I may have babbled too much last night. I do that when I'm around people and always feel stupid afterward. But it was nice to be able to talk over some beers...
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Jeff M · 1d
Also, glad my stomach is better today. Was really off all day yesterday...
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Anna D · 1d
*Hugs*
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Anna D · 1d
Don't mind, they usually forget if you were a bit stupid :)
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Alicia B · 1d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 1d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 1d
Glad the legs are feeling better! You wouldn't believe what I had to do so I wouldn't have an upset stomach while we were out & about. And ALWAYS blame it on the beer! 😉
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Reba H · 1d
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 1d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 1d
Ah, beer...the simultaneous cause of and solution to all life's problems. :)
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Manda P · 1d
Cheers! 🍻
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John T · 1d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 24h
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 22h
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 21h
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 19h
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 4h
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Pseudo Bear ! · 22h 10
BIRTHDAY! 39 ROCKS!
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Manda P · 1d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 1d
Happy Birthday! 🎉
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DesBear D · 1d
*Hugs*
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V R · 1d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 22h
Happy birthday 🎂
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DesBear D · 22h 10
had an amazing trip <3
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Jeff M · 1d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 1d
Happy to hear that!
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Lex M · 1d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 1d
*Hugs*
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V R · 1d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 24h
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 22h
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 19h
Trips are fun.
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DesBear D · 2h
thanks Pandas <3
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Penelope P · 22h 3
So I stay strong and make myself miserable or I give in and have a few laughs but still end up miserable and feel like I've wasted my time. Either way end up feeling like a loser.
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Lottie B NEW · 1d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 1d
*Hugs*
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V R · 1d
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 23h
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 23h
It really is a hard choice. They say a certain type of people are hard to let go of. I feel it almost every day tbh. Used to be every minute of every day. So progress can be made. I'm sure in time it'll hurt less and less.
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Alicia B · 23h
Sorry if I meddle too much. I just feel like I have lived the situation
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Alicia B · 23h
But maybe I'm completely wrong.
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Esther B · 22h
*Hugs*
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Penelope P · 22h
Thanks all for the hugs.
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Penelope P · 22h
Thanks Alicia and no, I do appreciate your support so I do not see it as meddling at all. I have never been so obsessed about any guy as much as this one and now he's back in my life after 5 years.
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Penelope P · 22h
We have never had a romantic relationship but there is such a connection it is hard to resist the temptation to keep trying to make it something more. I'll maybe stop posting about it.
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Penelope P · 22h
I really overthink stuff and now he's just sent a photo it's brought all the feelings back. Like I knew it would if I saw him again. I'm such an idiot, I shouldn't have made contact again. Sorry and thanks.
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Alicia B · 21h
Please, don't stop posting about it. It's good to talk about. And it's good for those of us who have been or are in a similar situation to read about it and maybe talk.
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Margot L · 22h 4
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Esther B · 22h
*Hugs*
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Leslie R · 22h
*Hugs*
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Luke G · 21h
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 11h
*Hugs*
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John T · 10h
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 11 May 3
Tired headache and mind that's racing
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Lieteke G · 11 May
Not a good combination, Esther. Have you been out today? Maybe fresh air will do you some good?
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Cindy M · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Robert H · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Valeria P · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Marta M · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 11 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 11 May
Yes Lieteke, 1.5 hour walk with the dog
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Penelope P · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 11 May
That really is a walk! Pretty proud of you you made the courage to go! Shame it didn't help to get rid of the headache.. hope you will get some sleep tonight
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Christina S · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Reba H · 12 May
*Hugs*
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Tuxi A · 14 May
*Hugs*
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Christina S · 11 May 5
Bf just been transferred to London to have surgery to stabilise his spine. Good news as it means he is well enough to have the op and they think he will live long enough to make it worth it. Without
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Christina S · 11 May
It he would have ended paralysed from the neck down.
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Love 1 · 11 May
hope op is successful.
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Shelley H · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Pseudo Bear ! · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Heheheheheheheh R · 11 May
I also hope the op will be successful 😁
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Maria K · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Maria K · 11 May
Big hugs, you must have went through so much
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Kiyah W · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 11 May
Dont know if good luck is a good thing to say but wishing you all the best xoxo
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Tasha S · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 11 May
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 11 May
Fingers crossed - so sorry to hear what's going on xx
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Christina S · 11 May
Thanks pandas xx the operation got delayed as it is bigger than we thought. Its a 2 day op, Monday a 7 hour op through the neck and voice box to his spine and Tuesday a 4 hour op through the back of his neck. The vertabre have yo he removed and
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Christina S · 11 May
Replaced with a metal structure. They need a 10 man team to do the op. Very scary and lots of risks such as paralysis and blindness and also death. Trying to be optimistic
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Natalie C · 15 May
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 10 May 4
Feeling a bit lost
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Shelley H · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 09 May
What's wrong Silke? You ok?
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Robert H · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 10 May
I don't really know what's wrong Shelley, i'll manage.
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Christina S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May
You'll find your way, Silke... There will be days like this, but they will pass! *Big hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
I hope a good night's sleep has helped. It often does for me, and I have to force myself not to follow my negative thoughts at night.
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Tasha S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 10 May 5
Found out sister's soon to be ex husband, the minister, was having sex with... get this- his daughter in law, his son's wife. Wow! My poor nephew, poor sis, poor fam. :(
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Love 1 · 10 May
What's most disgusting is that the son was confiding in his dad during the conflict with his wife. The dad is a marriage counselor. It's funny and pathetic and... speechless.
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Love 1 · 10 May
I need to be strong for my family during this dark time. There is strength in integrity, in following one's inner Light, in principled living.
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Shelley H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 10 May
Whoa!
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Robert H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Christina S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Christina S · 10 May
That's awful news, the betrayal is hard to deal with.
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Love 1 · 10 May
Yes, Christina, The betrayal & the hypocrisy have rattled my sister and nephew most. She was a faithful wife and nephew trusted and looked up to his father. The man must be psychologically unbalanced & emotionally sick.
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Jeff M · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May
Wow...that really is horrible. Always astounding the things we can do to hurt those we care about (or who care about us). Your family is lucky to have you and your support!
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Love 1 · 10 May
Ah well, this is ego. He had needs after all, right? Wasn't he entitled to satisfy them for his own happiness? It's all about ME, isn't it? Preaches morality on Sunday, bangs his daughter-in-law on Mon. Counsels couples on Tue. Bible study Wed.
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Tasha S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 10 May
Thanks, Jeff. I feel more compassion for the man than anger or hatred. I never fully trusted him. My soul knew. Anyway, more resolved to be the bulwark of the family. Committed to family and right living. Recalibrating.
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Jeff M · 10 May
All about ME...I am convinced that is the biggest problem we have in our society today. Why don't cars use turn signals? Cuz drivers don't acknowledge others or care. Why do ppl leave carts in middle of aisle in stores? Cuz others don't matter.
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Jeff M · 10 May
I wish I could see an end to this 'me first' entitled mindset, but I think the instant gratification of the Internet world is only making it worse...
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Esther B · 10 May
What.the...
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 11 May
100% agreement, Jeff! 'The one who seeks happiness but hurts others who also want happiness, shall not find it.' -Dhammapada
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Christina S · 10 May 1
Crying, today we should find out how far bfs cancer has spread and how long his life expectancy is. I pray we are able to have a year or 2 together. I bear the thought of him being gone in months
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Miyuki H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Miyuki H · 10 May
I'm sending energy to you and him.
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Mirella L NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Penelope P · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May
Such a difficult thing to go through... I'm glad you have support. Think of how wonderful it is to have you there to care for him and support him through this time! Every day is a gift now. You can get through this together...
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Tasha S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 10 May
All my thoughts are with you.
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Christina S · 11 May
Thank you Jeff, we can do it together. It puts life into perspective hearing news like this. Thank you Esther and miyuki and all you pandas for your hugs.
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Natalie C · 15 May
*Hugs*
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Miyuki H · 19 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 10 May 6
Last day of work before my runcation! Hope the weather is good for Saturday. All sorts of anxiety, but other than worried about my legs holding up, it's mostly excitement. Ready to go!
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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JET . NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 10 May
Go for it!! Hope you have a lovely time. Keep us posted!!!
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Jeff M · 10 May
Sense of anxiety and dread sinking in. Weather looks sketchy - thunderstorms and humid. Trying to recognize anxiety for what it is and that it's not reality. Brain is the biggest impediment to success...and motivator, too, I guess.
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Lieteke G · 10 May
Some anxiety is good, it keeps you alert. And think about all of us cheering you on!! And even if you don't finish, you started, that is the main thing!!! Checking the weather now is no use, it might change again in an hour...
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Esther B · 10 May
Enjoy ♥
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Reba H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 10 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 11 May
Jeff, Jeff, boma ye!
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Anna N · 11 May
Good luck! I'm sure it'll be a great time
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Tasha S · 10 May 6
Had a great time seeing Avengers last night. Shocked at the ending.
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Lieteke G · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 10 May
You did get 2 great evenings out, in stead of just one! So happy you enjoyed them!
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JET . NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 10 May
Curious as well!
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Natalie C · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 10 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 11 May
Thank you all
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Love 1 · 10 May 8
The cherry tree in bloom delights my soul. Taking inventory of small pleasures to remind me of the goodness and beauty that envelops me.
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JET . NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Sebastian P · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Penelope P · 10 May
*Hugs*
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danielle m NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Robert H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Liane A · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 10 May
Lovely way to live, enjoying the little things. In the busy world we tend to forget. Thank you for reminding me!
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Esther B · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 10 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Penelope P · 10 May 8
My fridge is full, just done some quick yoga and now going to bible journal. I really appreciate my MP chums.
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Shelley H · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 10 May
We appreciate you too PEN 😃
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JET . NEW · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 10 May
Yep, we do!
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Jeff M · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 10 May
You sound very organised, well done!!! Enjoy your bible journal
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Esther B · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 10 May
I appreciate you a lot.
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 10 May 9
Good afternoon my friends. Just enjoyed a cup of mocha fudge ice cream with the daughter. It was delish. I hope everyone is having a great afternoon on this beautifully windy afternoon.
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Lydia R · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 10 May
Sounds lovely!
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Natalie C · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 10 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 10 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 09 May 5
First morning on my own since crisis. An hour walk with my parents dog. Lovely weather.
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Jen B · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 09 May
Good for you! Gotta keep focusing on those good things, like the beautiful weather and the loving dog. Keep yourself occupied. We're all rooting for you so much!!
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Lydia R · 09 May
Animals are awsome, they always put a smile on my face. :) Glad you're feeling better, even if it's only for a short while. Enjoy this moment!
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Shelley H · 09 May
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 09 May
Enjoy the beautiful weather Esther
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Silke V · 09 May
*Hugs*
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John T · 09 May
*Hugs*
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John T · 09 May
It's a positive thing that you feel well enough to go out with the dog, let the good weather do it's thing, and don't be hard on yourself if you don't manage to do everything you want. Small steps!
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Esther B · 09 May
Thanks Jeff Shelley Lydia silke John and Jen. I've already survived most of the day so I'm happy :-)
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Shelley H · 09 May
😃
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Jeff M · 09 May 2
So sad. The wife of my best friend (and neighbor) killed herself about 6 weeks ago. Sounds like her sister is now dead. Assume same way. My poor friend now has to be there for her family.
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Jeff M · 04 May
She had a loving wife and two great kids. She saw how hard this was on family. I can't comprehend how she could do that.
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Jeff M · 04 May
And my poor friend who now has to live through this again. He is still deeply grieving. He can't be strong for them.
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Jeff M · 04 May
And they're several hours away, so I can't be there for him other than to watch his cats.
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Jeff M · 04 May
She and her husband were so nice to me... So sad to see what that family is going through now... ***e is so horrible for the loved ones. And they both had many devastated loved ones.
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Shelley H · 04 May
Comforting hugs Jeff. My heart goes out to you and your friend's family
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Jeff M · 04 May
Wow, it's amazing how the universe shows you what you need sometimes. Saw this on Twitter now about Wil Wheaton's depression http://wilwheaton.net/2018/05/my-name-is-wil-wheaton-i-live-with-chronic-depression-and-i-am-not-ashamed/
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Janine S · 05 May
*Hugs*
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Reba H · 05 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 05 May
*Hugs*
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Anna N · 05 May
That is such awful news. My heart goes out to your friend and his family. I can't imagine having to cope with that
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Manda P · 05 May
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 05 May
Thanks so much for sharing that article, Jeff. It was a great read. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend having to go through even more troubling news. Thinking of all of you. 💚
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Caroline S · 06 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 07 May
Thank you, pandas...
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Esther B · 09 May
Oh no Jeff! I remember your post and the worries you've had about your neihhbour and you've been such a good friend! Wishing you strength
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Esther B · 09 May
Thanks for sharing that article Jeff
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Tuxi A · 08 May 5
Back to work after Golden Week vacation. Didn't get anything done, other than catching up on unimportant (but interesting) internal mailing lists. Need to stop procrastinating...
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Tasha S · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Lieteke G · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 07 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 08 May
Hugs for you. How are your furrballs?
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Tuxi A · 14 May
@Esther: They are doing fine, although I always feel guilty about leaving them alone so much and confining them to my living room when I cannot watch them because the other rooms are too chaotic to be cat safe...
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Tasha S · 08 May 6
So plans got a bit changed yesterday, we went to the park for a bit and then went out to lunch and went to our friends to watch Thor:Ragnarok because they said I should watch that before Avengers 😂
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Tasha S · 07 May
Seeing Avengers later in the week now :)
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Lieteke G · 07 May
Sounds like a lovely day and you have something else to look forward to! Even better
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Lydia R · 07 May
*Hugs*
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paul M · 07 May
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 07 May
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 08 May
Thank you :)
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Esther B · 08 May
Curious about Avengers as well! How was Thor?
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Tasha S · 08 May
Was really awesome!
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