4.2 avg
  178 days
  2146 hugs
  43 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Mandy O · 2d 3
Sorry to keep writing n writing n moaning it's helping me understand my feelings when I write.. I know why I'm crying n angry... I seen my little girl today and it's hurting me so much .. She screams
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Mandy O · 2d
every time I leave... I couldn't help getting ***al last year .. Because I tried to kill myself I've lost my daughter... She is my world... I'm feeling terrible guilt and anger with myself. I can't get stable because she's away from me :( :(
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Rorschach T · 2d
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Josie B · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
Aw, Mandy, I'm sorry! But she'll grow up...she'll understand. And you're still there for her, even if not as often as you want. Things change...you'll get things together and will be with her! *Big hugs*
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Mandy O · 2d
Thank you n thanks Jeff... I am able to take your comment in with understanding as I am much stronger now and able to tell myself just that each day.... But then every so often my stomach suddenly turns and I'm unable to make sense of what happened X
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Squid C · 2d
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Amita K NEW · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
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Saumya G · 2d
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stephen B · 1d
Mandy your daughter will adapt very quickly thats what children do , what we do as adults and i was bad for this myself when i got divorced was to put adult emotions and feeling in what I thought my kids were thinking and feeling , i thought like me
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stephen B · 1d
that when I left after each visit they were devastated but im sure they just wanted to get back to the tv or their toys ... you have to forgive yourself for being ill and leaving before you can more on and heal yourself .... get yourself better your
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stephen B · 1d
daughter will always love you and she will get to an age where she will understand the events that led to her being away from you .... this is what happened to me and im sure many others x x x
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Cindy M · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
It'll be ok, Mandy. She will grow and understand. She will see how strong you are & admire that. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now, but it'll get easier. xx
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Éva H · 18h
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Mandy O · 2d 3
I'm crying! Haven't cried in ages.. I've been happy so don't know what's wrong or why I'm crying! I think my body's reacting to my mind when it started thinking about self harming!!! Cry cry cry!!!!
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Mandy O · 2d
So embarrassed I'm acting this way ... I feel like I'm going insane inside my own mind... Talking to myself in my head and having a mini breakdown ... Trying not to scream in hysterics as next door called the police last time.. so ANGRY!!!!
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Rorschach T · 2d
This happened to me last week, cried uncontrollably almost for an entire day. We cry for a reason, you must need it. Don't hold back, let it all out Mandy
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Mandy O · 2d
Thank you Rorschach ... I never hold back crying I've always cried a lot at times... But there's something not right .. I want to cry but it keeps stopping suddenly and then I'm laughing out loud then I cry a little more then laugh again :/ :/
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Mandy O · 2d
It's all coming out now Rorschach ... It feels very relieving... Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, you are so kind and considerate.. I'm calming.. Tiredness also kicking in X
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Rorschach T · 2d
No worries Mandy. Hope you are ok
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Amita K NEW · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
Big hugs Mandy... You will get through this, glad to hear you feel a bit better already. Let it all out. Sorry about your stupid neighbors!
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Saumya G · 2d
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Cindy M · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
A good cry is so great. And if you have Bipolar Disorder (I do), mixture of laughing is not unusual. Nothing is unusual with Bipolar Disorder!
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Richard E · 20h
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Mandy O · 2d 3
I feel like I'm fucking pissed off and hate everything and everyone ... Slight urges to self harm but able to tell myself it won't achieve anything and I will only be rid with shame and guilt
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Ali H · 2d
*Hugs*
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Ali H · 2d
BIG HUGS ( )
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Mandy O · 2d
which will then lead me to think negatively about myself and cause me to feel really low.... So I've put an elastic band on my wrist and going to pull it and let go really hard.. Same pain but no injuries to cause me to feel guilt/shame etc!!
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D M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 2d
This might sound silly but for me when I self harm (burn my wrist with a very hot blade) i automatically pull away once the pain is too uncomfortable and I do it again and again because I'm not able to get to a point where the pain is uncomfortable
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Rorschach T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Ali H · 2d
It's easy for me to say but try not too
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Richard E · 2d
*Hugs*
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Rorschach T · 2d
Sorry to hear this Mandy. Cut yourself some slack though, you are really trying and it's not your fault you feel this way. Take care of yourself
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Mandy O · 2d
With the elastic band when I pull it as far as I can and let go I can't stop the pain once I've let go and I'm not in control of it so I tend to stop self harming much sooner as it feels uncomfortable
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Mandy O · 2d
I've realised I self harm in that way because I enjoy the pain I'm inflicting on myself... (Because my body automatically reacts by pulling away) before it doesn't feel good anymore ... Finding it hard to explain what I mean :(
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Squid C · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
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Saumya G · 2d
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Rorschach T · 2d
I think I understand you Mandy. I used to hurt myself as a form of punishment and just desperation 'why won't they help me' sort of thing. Maybe my reasons are different but I get where you are coming from
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stephen B · 1d
Like Rorschach T I understand and again my reasons may be different , for me I self harmed not to punish myself but to calm my head even for a brief moment , my head was 200mph hurtful intrusive thoughts the only time they stopped was when I SH'd and
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stephen B · 1d
those few seconds were like heaven ... but it was short lived and i soon realised there had to be a better way .... sending you big hugs x x x
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Linn J NEW · 1d
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Cindy M · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
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Manda P · 1d
I think the rubber band is a fantastic idea. I've never self-harmed (if you don't count self destructive behaviors) & think the temporary pain of a rubber band flick is so much better than a cut or burn. It shows great strength on how you are...
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Manda P · 1d
...controlling the situation. Well done. Be proud of yourself!
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D M · 1d
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Mandy O · 2d 5
Feeling a little tension building inside... Feel like I want to go out to a rave/club this weekend and get absolutely wasted.. I've suddenly got a 'don't care' attitude - need to get out of this mood
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Julia C · 2d
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 2d
before it turns in to a self destructive episode as it almost feels like a volcanos just starting to brew inside of me :/
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Yondie Y · 2d
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Rorschach T · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
Maybe you can find some less-destructive way to take out those feelings? Sometimes you have to do something big!
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
Yes, listen to Jeff. Redirect that energy to something else. Are you creative? Paint, draw, write, craft...make something awesome. Sometimes the best work comes from negative feelings. Thinking of you. xx
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Squid C · 2d
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Squid C · 2d 6
MY DAD BOUGHT ME A CALCULATOR AND I GOT ACCEPTED FOR THE INTERNSHIP I INTERVIEWED FOR NOW I CAN BUY PRESENTS FOR MY LOVE C:
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Alena S · 3d
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Sierra B NEW · 3d
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Mandy O · 2d
Great news well done Squid C :)
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Saumya G · 2d
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Kay W NEW · 2d 1
one of those days where you wonder is this it ?? Is this the best I can be ... is this the happiest I can be ?
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Rorschach T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Amita K NEW · 2d
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Alena S · 2d
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Noël W · 2d
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Jeff M · 2d
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Doodles B · 2d
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Mandy O · 2d
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Kay W NEW · 2d 1
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Rorschach T · 3d
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Julia C · 3d
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Pedro R NEW · 3d
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Becky R NEW · 3d
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stephen B · 3d
Hope your feeling better soon Kay ride this low mood out and things will improve ... x x
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Kay W NEW · 2d
Thanks Im trying everything I can to keep my head above the waves , do you find this group helps I'm new to it x
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stephen B · 2d
Hi Kay , for me helping others really helps me and also the graph helps me to see which way I am heading whether the trend is im getting higher or lower , as you know any mental health problems isnt as simple as sad then your happy its a roller
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stephen B · 2d
coaster of ups and downs .. but now i see im more up than down so it gives me hope and shows the things im doing like extra swimming and yoga are helping etc ... hope that helps x x
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Doodles B · 2d
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 2d
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Julia C · 2d
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stephen B · 2d
*Hugs*
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Kay W NEW · 2d
Thanks everyone and special thanks for your reply Stephen ??xx
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Kay W NEW · 2d
*!!
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stephen B · 2d
:) x x
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Mandy O · 3d 5
7.15am and I've been lay in bed all night and not slept .. I'm starting to feel tired now but I'm going to get up and have a little walk to the cafe for breakfast then set my alarm for 4 hours time
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Mandy O · 3d
as I'm going to see my little girl today and don't want to sleep all day, especially if the weathers going to be nice outside again today aswell
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Kay W NEW · 3d
*Hugs*
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Rorschach T · 2d
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Mia A NEW · 2d
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Mia A NEW · 2d
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Amita K NEW · 2d
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Tasha S · 2d
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Alena S · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
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Binky B · 2d
Hope you have a lovely time with your little girl x
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Jeff M · 2d
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Mandy O · 2d
Thank you guys x
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Manda P · 2d
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Binky B · 3d 6
Dreamt of my alarm going off, then it did. Rolled out of bed easily, automatically, what a miracle it is. Had Portuguese tart and another fresh cream eclair for breakfast, just because I can. #dayoff
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Binky B · 26 Mar
Oh and tea, two of cups of tea.
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Josie B · 26 Mar
*Hugs*
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Rorschach T · 26 Mar
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Rorschach T · 26 Mar
Breakfast of champions lol
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Doodles B · 26 Mar
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Doodles B · 26 Mar
That sounds lush
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Julia C · 27 Mar
*Hugs*
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Alena S · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d
Ooooooh - eclair AND Portuguese tart. Respect.
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Binky B · 3d
This is awesome, I love that you pandas are such foodies! I'm in good company. Xx
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Manda P · 3d
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 3d
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Yondie Y · 3d 5
Hair is fall out like crazy. One by one .upset but crazy upset. I know this don't make sense.
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Rorschach T · 27 Mar
*Hugs*
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Melissa G · 27 Mar
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Binky B · 27 Mar
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Binky B · 27 Mar
This can happen from stress, it must be horrible. I hope you can get some peace of mind soon and everything can settle down for you.
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Julia C · 27 Mar
*Hugs*
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Alena S · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
TY (thank you) binky
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Mandy O · 3d
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Lucy M · 3d 5
Woke up real late, mostly watched supernatural and did random internetting but also texted Victoria so that was good
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Rorschach T · 27 Mar
*Hugs*
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Mandy O · 3d
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Ali H · 3d 7
At work for couple of hours was dreading it but feeling fine now
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Yondie Y · 3d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 3d
Good news!
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Ali H · 3d
I don't no if it is getting slight pain in stomach again I hope it's not going to get worse again
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Rorschach T · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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Yondie Y · 3d 0
So,um how's your guys day
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Ali H · 3d
*Hugs*
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Rorschach T · 3d
*Hugs*
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Binky B · 3d
It was very busy thank you, Yondie. I feel like almost no time has passed since I woke up, but it's now gone 8pm...
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Yondie Y · 3d
Time pass real quick in USA.it's now 2:12 AM
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Binky B · 3d
Wow that's late. Do you have school tomorrow?
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Yondie Y · 3d
No,two weeks off because of spring break.hate that.
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Yondie Y · 3d
But I'm going to 9th grade.yay!!!! :-(
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Binky B · 3d
Oh right. Do you like being at school? I hated it because I got bullied. But maybe you like it a bit because you can get away from your mum? I actually dropped out of school. Hated it that much. Lol.
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Yondie Y · 3d
I like school only because my mom ask the same thing every morning. For example: are you guys are up.are in class.and I got bullied too.nowadays when kids get bullied they kill themselves.
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Yondie Y · 3d
I have all F's in each classes
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Yondie Y · 3d
Do you live in England Binky
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Binky B · 3d
So you know what to expect from your mum in the morning, she says the same things every day. I am from England but I live in Australia at the moment. I have never been to the USA but I would like to.
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Binky B · 3d
I am going to watch a film now
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Yondie Y · 3d
Do everybody live in Australia. Because I am the only person let live in USA.But I am not the only person.
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Mandy O · 3d
I live in England Yondie... I've been to the USA once.. I went to Las Vegas two years ago .. I've never been to Austealia but would love to travel there one day
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Amita K NEW · 2d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 2d
I'm... I'm shock.I don't know what to say now.
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stephen B · 3d 6
Some anxious /angry moments , but yesterday most was great finished the night with a fire on the beach watching the sunset .. heaven
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Valerie V · 3d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 3d
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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stephen B · 3d 6
Today woke ok , didn't sleep all that well , but another sunny day looking forward to a long walk over the hills and along the beach
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Valerie V · 3d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d
It all sounds perfect x
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Yondie Y · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d 3
Been feeling really down for about a week - lacking in motivation and confidence to do job applications, even tho I'm unemployed and on benefits so I need to be doing this, regardless of how I feel.
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Cindy M · 3d
Haven't heard back from my last interview, which was about a week ago - I realise I didn't get it, but how long does it take to say no? Financial problems are really bad. So tearful today. But must focus.
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Julia C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
It only take a couple of days to hear from a job interview. Not a week
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Ali H · 3d
Keep positive there are so many employers who don't even tell you that you didn't get the job
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Binky B · 3d
I am so sorry dear Cindy. I think it's despicable how companies treat employees (and potential employees) nowadays. I've heard it never used to be this way but has been getting progressively worse over the years. It's really dehumanizing. I also felt
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Binky B · 3d
Very inadequate, almost completely lacking motivation and confidence. Looking for a job is bloody hard... I really take my hat off to you and hope you get an opportunity soon. You can do this.
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Jeff M · 3d
I've had weeks and weeks go by without hearing back from a company. Some places never call you back, but the job I have now, they didn't notify me I got it for 6 weeks! So be patient, Cindy! Wishing you the best...
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Jeff M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Julia C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Reba C · 3d
*Hugs*
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stephen B · 3d
hope your feeling better soon Cindy... even if your not down I think applying for jobs and filling in applications is soul destroying ... get out in to the hills and let the wind blow the cobwebs away x x
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Manda P · 3d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 3d
So sorry you are feeling this way, Cindy. Stay strong & it'll come your way. I'm lucky to not have to deal with much job searching, but I know how frustrating it can be. Add on natural downs & you're in for a mess. I'll be thinking of you! xx
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sonny S · 3d
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DesBear D · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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David P · 2d
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Richard E · 2d
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Margot L · 2d
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Margot L · 1d
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Ali H · 3d 5
Sore stomach again fed up
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Yondie Y · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
Why do you have a sore stomach
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Ali H · 3d
I have gallstones and a lump in gallbladder waiting for appointment for operation
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Noel L · 3d
Sounds pretty rotten Ali, hope you get some relief from the soreness soon.
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Yondie Y · 3d
OMG
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Yondie Y · 3d
Oh my god
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Ali H · 3d
Thanks don't no how long I have to wait they were concerned about the lump
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Yondie Y · 3d
*Hugs*
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Rorschach T · 3d
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Jeff M · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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Stephi C · 3d 7
Feeling good today: did a but of exercise with baby; doctor tweaked my medication which should help with insomnia and mood swings; bought pizza and salad for Mum coming over tonight. I had a night of
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Stephi C · 3d
Broken sleep last night which caused anxiety but I handled it well and the effects aren't persisting throughout today. SMALL VICTORIES!!
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Yondie Y · 3d
*Hugs*
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Yondie Y · 3d
Good good
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Jeff M · 3d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 3d
Good for you! Life's all about recognizing the small victories and not letting the small setbacks get us down!
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Rorschach T · 3d
*Hugs*
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stephen B · 3d
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Alena S · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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Jeff M · 3d 6
Hint of spring in the air, but supposed to be gray and rainy for the whole week. Blah. Lots to do this week at work. Trying to be positive again...always a struggle!
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Sunny C · 3d
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Rorschach T · 3d
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Julia C · 3d
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Reba C · 3d
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Eve D · 3d
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Alena S · 3d
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paul M · 3d
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Manda P · 3d
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DesBear D · 3d
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Binky B · 3d
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Cindy M · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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Asya O · 3d 5
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stephen B · 3d
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Alena S · 3d
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Rorschach T · 3d
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Mandy O · 3d
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