4 avg
  90 days
  502 hugs
  8 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Crystal C · 14 Dec 10
I'm so proud of my daughter right now she drew a very clear fish and even an eye in the right place!!! She only turned 2 this September
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Natalie C · 14 Dec
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 14 Dec
Thats very impressive for a child so young, you have taught her well ☺
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Crystal C · 14 Dec
I have only showed her a couple times how to draw a very simple fish shape and then dot where the eye would :)
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Crystal C · 12 Dec 1
Thinking of some dark thoughts because I'm in so much pain I feel like I'm in hell ... my bf is going to have to call the dentist for me I think
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Kaleigh R · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Metron A · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 12 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 12 Dec
Nothing's worse than toothache :( Well, maybe childbirth :) Hope you see that dentist soon.
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Crystal C · 12 Dec
Either a dentist or a doctor something needs doing I'm so damn sore
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Crystal C · 11 Dec 3
Anxiety level is high ... I'm trying to calm down so I can finally nap but I'm failing and my body is dizzy and I'm pain from exhaustion
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JET ° · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Kristin L · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 09 Dec
Sounds familiar... Hope you can start getting better sleep soon. It's so very important. hugs, dear Panda
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Crystal C · 11 Dec
Sleep is amazingly important and since getting poorly I've needed more 😅
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Crystal C · 09 Dec 6
Been unwell all day still but to be honest the day hasn't been too bad almost pleasant :)
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JET ° · 08 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 08 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 08 Dec
Well done seeing it in a positive light. You are so cool <3
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Simon J · 08 Dec
*Hugs*
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Angel W · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 09 Dec
I had some good bits I liked which helped even out the rest of the day 😅
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Emma Luna L · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 08 Dec 9
Dance class was great. No German class tomorrow, so will sleep in and... Movie time! Loved Labor Day. Stories of weird relationships satisfy my sick need and let me lead a more or less healthy life.
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Maria M · 07 Dec
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 07 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 08 Dec
I bet you dance really good if your going to classes! 😁
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Jeff M · 08 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 08 Dec
Not yet, Crystal, I've only started 3 months ago :) I have a sort of a natural knack for it, but I'm also 34 and never learned to dance in my life, except some Zumba at home :) I'm better than other beginners, though :)
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Crystal C · 08 Dec
I literally just can't dance 😂 or keep up with any exercise lol so better then me!!
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Cindy M · 09 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 07 Dec 2
Feeling poorly is one of the worst feelings :( mostly because it scares me and I have to spend half the time trying to convince myself I'm not dying 😩
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Josie B · 07 Dec
*Hugs*
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Emma Luna L · 07 Dec
*Hugs*
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Emma Luna L · 07 Dec
Stay strong crystal, i know you can! I hope you feel a bit better soon, i'm here for ya xxx
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Jeff M · 07 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 07 Dec
Mild illness I can manage with but when it's a bad illness it gives me such bad anxiety about dying as unless I'm having a ***al episode or I guess feel extremely depressed I don't want to die
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Crystal C · 06 Dec 4
Doing kind of reasonable today
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JET ° · 06 Dec
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 06 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 06 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 06 Dec
Reasonable is good! I didn't dare ask you about BPD stuff because I didn't want to trigger you. I don't know much about it. So just sending you hugs 🤗
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Crystal C · 06 Dec
Questions are ok mostly but generally it's hard to avoid triggering subjects anywhere these days 😅 it you think your partner has bpd though they need to be diagnosed for some help :)
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Crystal C · 06 Dec
Hugs are still good though 😁
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Crystal C · 05 Dec 1
Slightly feeling better feeling is now extremely strained and my mood is dropping because two of my friends talked to me about wanting to end their lives and then they stopped talking 😞
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Anna M · 05 Dec
Have you contacted anyone to let them know?
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Mark W · 05 Dec
You need to tell someone. They should get help.
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Mark W · 05 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 05 Dec
One friend I only know on snapchat :/ don't know any relatives or friends of his but the other friend I msgd their husband and she is talking to me a little again now
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Crystal C · 05 Dec
I msgd a group admin in a mental health group in that my male friend is in too in case they can help him
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Jeff M · 05 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 06 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 06 Dec
Wow, that's horrible. Hope they are OK, and you too.
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Crystal C · 06 Dec
One friend is ok ish for now the other one might take a few days to reply as he can take a few days usually to reply
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Anna M · 06 Dec
Let us know
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Crystal C · 06 Dec
Ok second friend msgd me but he still sounds very low :/ first friend is doing reasonably ok considering she is feeling low
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Anna M · 06 Dec
phew at least they are talking
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Crystal C · 06 Dec
Better then nothing 😅
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Crystal C · 03 Dec 3
Really sore from a migraine, not been looking after myself so I smell, wearing dirty clothes, not brushed my hair, continuously feel exhausted but I've been up since 3am (now 12.43pm) 😩😞😩😞
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Jeff M · 03 Dec
*Hugs*
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John T · 03 Dec
*Hugs*
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John T · 03 Dec
I am having a very similar day, except swap migraine for a cold, so maybe not as bad.
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Crystal C · 03 Dec
I've been not looking after myself for days 😞 migraine started yesterday morning
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nixiblu . · 03 Dec
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 02 Dec 2
What is it with my dad being in a lot of my nightmares? The ones without him in all revolve around me dying ... sometimes painfully
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Aspie T · 02 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 02 Dec
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 02 Dec
You might have some unresolved blame and anger towards him? Dreams are good for realizing stuff we supress
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Crystal C · 02 Dec
Oh there is some unresolved blame 😅 it was more why can't my brain just not Include him in my nightmares
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Crystal C · 02 Dec
He was a very abusive dad pretty much the reason I have bpd according to any therapist I've seen
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Alicia B · 02 Dec
I always think if I get nightmares with someone in them it's because I don't quite realize something about what they did to me. If I find it I feel better, at least for a time.
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Alicia B · 02 Dec
So you have BPD? I wish I could ask you a gazillion questions. I think my significant other has it, or strong traits of it. I want to help but it's a complicated thing :(
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Crystal C · 02 Dec
Yeah I have been diagnosed with bpd since I was 22 took forever to get a diagnosis even though I had my first breakdown at 17 😅 you could ask me stuff if you want just prefer non triggering ATM as I'm already feeling awful
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Crystal C · 02 Dec
I just don't feel safe with my dad existing
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Crystal C · 02 Dec 1
I just wish the internal suffering would just go away
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JET ° · 02 Dec
*Hugs*
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Noel L · 02 Dec
Sounds awful Crystal. I hope you feel better soon
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Crystal C · 02 Dec
I hate that I ended up so broken because my dad is literally the worst person I've met ... I've met a lot of bad people too ... I wish it hadn't made me like this
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Jeff M · 02 Dec
*Hugs*
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Noel L · 02 Dec
Do you have help like counselling to support you?
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Crystal C · 03 Dec
Nope start some group therapy in January but you don't really get a therapist/counsellor with it you get a care coordinator just to help you do the homework
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Noel L · 03 Dec
Sounds like you need more than that. Does your health system provide counselling?
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Crystal C · 03 Dec
Pretty much took me a year to get what I have 😩 it's hard to get help ATM plus almost no one wants to work with borderlines
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nixiblu . · 03 Dec
*Hugs*
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Noel L · 04 Dec
I hope the group therapy may help a little Crystal. I can see this is hard for you
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Crystal C · 04 Dec
I just want to give up I'm sick of fighting my demons 😞 sad part is they were always there to lean on when I couldn't lean on anyone else but it just fed them and made them bigger
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Noel L · 05 Dec
I had to learn to love my demons Crystal and to be gentle with myself
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Crystal C · 05 Dec
I am not sure I can love mine
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Emma Luna L · 01 Dec 1
https://www.instagram.com/p/BcJhA2nnc4d/ Re-opened an insta account, will be posting my feelings there too. I hope i might find calmness by expressing myself.....
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Crystal C · 01 Dec
I followed you if that's ok?
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Emma Luna L · 01 Dec
Yeah sure
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Crystal C · 01 Dec
My family is on mine so I try not get too dark ... they don't handle me well when I'm in a state and my bf doesn't really notice until Im crying in the bathroom not being kind to myself :/
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Lydia R · 01 Dec
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 01 Dec
*Hugs*
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Kristin L · 01 Dec
*Hugs*
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Emma Luna L · 01 Dec
I understand you crystal, my mom acts the same too
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Crystal C · 26 Nov 5
Could of been a worse day but not too bad considering the problems today
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Fay C · 26 Nov
*Hugs*
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Noel L · 26 Nov
Sounds good Crystal
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Crystal C · 26 Nov
Like kind of evened itself out I guess :)
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Love 1 · 26 Nov
*Hugs*
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Noel L · 26 Nov
Glad for you Crystal :))
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Sam R NEW · 25 Nov 5
#icantdochange .. New siblings come to live with us . Stress !!!
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JET ° · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Ysa PANDA NEW · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Maria M · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Maria M · 25 Nov
Change can bring new opportunities
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Crystal C · 25 Nov 4
Great when you wake up at 1.30am and can't get back to sleep it's now 5.30
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M S · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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M S · 25 Nov
I know, insomnia sucks
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
It's annoying im now tired again and it's nearly 7.30 ... and with my daughter lol not amazingly useful ... I get bouts of insomnia with small periods of normal sleep
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M S · 25 Nov
Ti night I probably slept 4 hours. I tried everything to get my sleep normal but nothing worked. But I found a way those days. Watching videos on YouTube help me a lot because it helps not listening to my thoughts
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
I can fall asleep at first if I'm tired enough but I wake up an hour or two later either able to go back to sleep for yet another hour or two or I wake up wide awake 😅
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M S · 25 Nov
Me too. Sometimes I can fall asleep in a minute,but if so I'll wake up a thousand times during the night. Or i can't close my eyes till 3/4 a.m and then wake up at 6
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
Insomnia issues are always the worst as it messes up all sorts of plans and you just have to grab sleep when you can
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Rosie L · 25 Nov 2
Grief, I have learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. Grief is just love with no place to go.
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Mark D · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 25 Nov
*Hugs*
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John T · 26 Nov
*Hugs*
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Emma Luna L · 27 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 24 Nov 2
Let out all my stress on my bf so I guess he can think about things 🙄 my bills are stupidly high now... and I feel mega paranoid about how I talk to people thanks to a friends comment
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Babie C · 24 Nov
*Hugs*
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John T · 24 Nov
Tell me about it. Cost of living doubling every 10 years.. wages and benefits staying the same.. Government needs to sort itself out (in the UK at least)
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John T · 24 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
I'm in the uk too I had pip taken off me when if anything I have more issues since I had it last and bills went up recently and it's literally an amount I can't do 😩 I have a small child and two cats to feed they and me have strict diets
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
To help with bodily issues and avoid allergies... it's not like I live a lavish life on benefits at all I scrap by without pip it was honestly a live saver and now the bills have gone up I don't even have pip to scrap by still 😩 so stressful
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John T · 24 Nov
Get to citizens advice bureau and try and get it back. I'm lucky to be still on pip. I manage just about ok, but if I didn't have it I'd be ***ed. Good luck. It would be worth trying again especially as you have more of a case than ever.
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
I've got a tribunal whenever they decide to plan a date with my support worker and someone to represent me 😩 I'm terrified 😭 I have GORD, ibs, chronic constipation, bpd, ptsd, b12 absorption problems which causes pain/fatigue/nausea
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
And other symptoms 😩 before I got the b12 injections I was showing bad nerve damage due to numbness and burning sensations all over my body and it can cause really bad pains which wake me up and night and make me cry.
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
Add in I'm pretty sure I have some form of fear of going outside and of socialising with people face to face I never leave the house without my bf or support worker
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John T · 24 Nov
Good luck with the tribunal. I wish you all the luck in the world. Really if we had a fair government, you shouldn't need luck, but people with problems need to stick together and get our voices heard. Fingers crossed for you :-)
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Crystal C · 24 Nov
Thank you! I had it for a couple of years before they took it off me :/ which stopped my bfs careers allowance which is unfair as he cares for me a lot and if I mainly can't leave without him he deserves to be helped for looking after me
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John T · 24 Nov
I struggle with leaving the house but I'm getting social care support worker because I was on section 3, that means I get section 117 aftercare, weirdly, the healthboard where I was sectioned has to pay, even though I'm now living in a city whose...
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John T · 24 Nov
... health board can't afford to pay. So. I'm really lucky in lots of way. Stories like yours make me not take it for granted. I am one of the very few lucky ones. I can hope you get back what you're entitled to. The only thing I can suggest is...
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John T · 24 Nov
... don't give up.
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
Thank you! It's nice not everyone is being shafted but I kind of need it to get by 😅 I practically didn't buy any Xmas stuff but I got s couple cheap items for my daughter and bf I couldn't afford any decor and likely no Xmas dinner
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Crystal C · 25 Nov
But at least I know I'm trying my best
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Crystal C · 23 Nov 1
My bf is an idiot and I swear I'm losing the will to even be around him😩
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Noah H · 23 Nov
Sometimes, the ones we think love us the most are the ones that make us hurt the most. Take your broken heart, turn it into art. Learn to tell the difference between a momentary blip, and a sign that you need to move on. Above all, take care.
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Kristin L · 23 Nov
*Hugs*
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Akira S NEW · 23 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 23 Nov
The hard bit is I don't want to I love him and he is my best friend .... but we are so distant relationship wise he doesn't flirt or touch me in a sexual manner at all no more (like barely at all over 2 years) and I have to make him snuggle me 😩
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Crystal C · 23 Nov
Plus I have developed a few ailments over the last couple years so sometimes I'm too sick to get up so to break up I'd have to move out and only see our daughter every so often 😭
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Geri P · 23 Nov
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 23 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 22 Nov 5
It's 4.36am I feel like my body never wants sleep any more
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Amadi J · 22 Nov
*Hugs*
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Emma Luna L · 22 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 22 Nov
Been cleaning so I guess at least I've been productive
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alexa K · 22 Nov
*Hugs*
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John T · 22 Nov
*Hugs*
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John T · 22 Nov
Hope you get over that flu soon.
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alexa K · 22 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 22 Nov
My body seems to take forever to get over any illness now 😩
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Sarah B · 21 Nov 2
C section still hurts 6 months later.
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Jeff M · 21 Nov
*Hugs*
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Crystal C · 21 Nov
Sometimes it does I think I still have a numb patch on the scar but if my daughter was on me or I moved funny it still hurt like over a year later 😅 no it only hurts if she catches me funny
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Crystal C · 21 Nov
Wait I phrased that wrong 🤔 it hurt over a year later so if my daughter sat on me or I loved funny it hurt 😂
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Rebekah B · 21 Nov
*Hugs*
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