5.1 avg
  283 days
  1827 hugs
  54 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Alicia B · 1d 5
Today was lovely, really, I cooked, I was in a great mood, I made progress in African dance class, but now my blood pressure is through the roof. Might be Quetiapine. What if I have to give it up?
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Alicia B · 2d
I'm a little scared and am pouting because I'd just started a new life it seemed.
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
There are always more meds, Alicia. I know it really f*cking sucks, but you'll find one that works for you again. And then might have to do it again & again, etc. So it goes. 😕
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 2d
Sounds like a great day minus the health stuff. Hope the body finds its equilibrium so that you can continue pursuing your interests.
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Tasha S · 1d
*Hugs*
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John T · 1d
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 21h
Thank you, pandas
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Cindy M · 17h
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Margot L · 1d 4
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Esther B · 2d
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Leslie R · 2d
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Luke G · 2d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 1d
*Hugs*
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John T · 1d
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Cindy M · 17h
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Lydia R · 6h
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Esther B · 1d 4
Started another AD. Fourth this year. Hope this will help. I'm holding on - nothing more. Lots of love to you guys
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Lucy H NEW · 2d
*Hugs*
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Leslie R · 2d
*Hugs*
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Love 1 · 2d
Lovely to hear from you and to know you're ok. Sorry you're struggling
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Love 1 · 2d
but I'm hopeful you'll emerge from this stronger and wiser.
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Silke V · 2d
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 2d
Glad your back!
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
Fingers crossed this is the one, Esther. Keep hanging on! Cute doggo, btw. xx
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
Very happy to see you post, Esther! I've wondered how you're doing. I hope this particular medication is the one that helps. Sometimes it's ok to just be holding on. Sending you lots of strength to keep holding on! *Big hugs*
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Tasha S · 1d
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John T · 1d
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DesBear D · 19h
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Cindy M · 17h
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Cindy M · 17h
Wish you were feeling better but just glad you're around. We'll help you hold on. You're in my thoughts every day, dear Esther. Lots of love xx
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Margot L · 12h
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 6h
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 6h
💕
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Silke V · 1d 5
Why does it have to be so difficult?
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
I ask that a lot...
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Tasha S · 1d
*Hugs*
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John T · 1d
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 17h
*Hugs*
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Bipolar Bear . · 1d 10
I aced the tests and interview 😃 just have a drug test tomorrow and I will start soon. I'm so happy right now!🎉
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Jeff M · 2d
Yay! Congratulations!
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Bipolar Bear . · 2d
Thank you! :)
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Tasha S · 1d
*Hugs*
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John T · 1d
*Hugs*
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John T · 1d
Don't eat poppy seed bread today!
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Manda P · 2d 2
Mega lost my sh*t on the car ride home. Took two of the pills I was supposed to if that happened. Ended up not talking the last several hours. Cried. BF said my 'medicinal plant' is the only thing...
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Manda P · 2d
...keeping me from not committing su*c*de. He's probably right. That's the only thing that makes me feel normal (besides the vacation) & it obviously only lasts a bit. I said I wanted to quit because I rely on it too much, but he says if we lived...
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Manda P · 2d
...in a different state, I would definitely have an actual prescription for it. He's going to try & make edibles so the 'medicine' lasts longer. I was a mess when we got home. Didn't even look at our cats. He forced me to take the 'medicine' & then..
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Manda P · 2d
...I was totally fine. Hate my sh*t life here though. Mom says we'll work together to make the time until next summer better & that we'll try to come up with ways for me to make friends IRL. I'm going to ask my new therapist to help me w/ideas too.
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
You're lucky to have your bf and mom trying to help (even though it does sound smart not to depend on your 'medicine' too much!). It's always sad to leave a really good vacation, can easily trigger that kind of reaction. Hope you do better today!
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Manda P · 2d
Thanks, Jeff. I did 40 min of yoga (my Sis told me I looked good & she could tell I was getting fit!), I've already talked about many happy moments & how we'll pull together ALLLLLL of the awesome pics combined with all the pics my stepdad took &...
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Manda P · 2d
...pick only 8 for the cool picture frame my parents got for daughter to hang in her room, found out all my complaining has damaged my brain from a just published Stanford study & that I can't repair what's happened, just stop it from getting...
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Manda P · 2d
...worse, told BF he doesn't listen to me & only got told to stop arguing, cried because of the conversation I'm having with my sister, took my 'medicine', skipped breakfast, & brushed & loved on the cats. It's only 10:30AM.
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DesBear D · 2d
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 2d
I love my vape, it also makes the special medicine last longer because you can use the vaped stuff for edibles without having to cook it! Its the Sutra Mini. I think its the best medicine there is..
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Jeff M · 2d
I'm glad you have the cats and your medicine...I don't know if your brain is damaged (they're awfully powerful, self-repairing computers after all) but then I suppose we damage our brains all the time. They keep working though!
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John T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 2d
💕💕
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Manda P · 2d
Wtf?! I replied to this earlier! Des- I started vaping awhile ago. So much better! He's saving it & then will add fresh stuff w/it for the edibles. I'm super pumped! As long as I can get it, he's doing it Saturday. Thanks, John & Esther. Missed you!
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Love 1 · 2d
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 11h
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 9h
Thanks, Love & Margot! 💞
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Tasha S · 2d 6
Had a really great time last night at Church Temple of Fun and seeing the Incredibles 2. Glad to have the day off today but annoyed with Ryan's parents for not giving me some notice that the
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Tasha S · 2d
Decorator was going to be working in our room this morning.
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Tasha S · 2d
I was completely naked when his mum tried to barge in. Can't wait to have the flat and some PRIVACY. Jeez.
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
Awkward!
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Ade W · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
Whoa! That really sucks that that happened. BF's dad saw my boobs once. I try to forget it!
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DesBear D · 2d
*Hugs*
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John T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 2d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 1d
She didn't see in because I shouted at her repeatedly not to come in
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Tasha S · 1d
Thanks for the hugs
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Jeff M · 2d 6
Fun run with people last night in crazy humidity. Legs feel great, best they have in a while! Probably won't after this weekend's race, but I'm very thankful for that.
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Jeff M · 2d
Feel like I may have babbled too much last night. I do that when I'm around people and always feel stupid afterward. But it was nice to be able to talk over some beers...
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Jeff M · 2d
Also, glad my stomach is better today. Was really off all day yesterday...
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Anna D · 2d
*Hugs*
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Anna D · 2d
Don't mind, they usually forget if you were a bit stupid :)
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Alicia B · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
Glad the legs are feeling better! You wouldn't believe what I had to do so I wouldn't have an upset stomach while we were out & about. And ALWAYS blame it on the beer! 😉
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Reba H · 2d
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 2d
Ah, beer...the simultaneous cause of and solution to all life's problems. :)
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Manda P · 2d
Cheers! 🍻
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John T · 2d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 2d
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 2d
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 2d
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Love 1 · 2d
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 21h
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Alicia B · 2d 7
Yesterday was nice. Some real human convo with I., trying to fix stuff around the house, helping A. a little bit with research on his liver problem. That boy's gotta start eating healthy.
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Jeff M · 2d
*Hugs*
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Robert H · 2d
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Manda P · 2d
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John T · 2d
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Lydia R · 2d 6
Went to Ikea with friend and had a good time. Felt active and productive afterwards, just not in the way I'd needed it. Procrastination..
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John T · 2d
*Hugs*
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tEnT S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
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DesBear D · 2d
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Lydia R · 2d 4
For last night. Disrupted sleep, overthinking, worrying about presentation tomorrow.
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Bipolar Bear . · 2d
*Hugs*
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John T · 2d
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tEnT S · 2d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 2d
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Manda P · 2d
Good luck with your presentation, Lydia. I'm sure you'll do great. 💖💖
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DesBear D · 2d
*Hugs*
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Jeff M · 3d 5
Poor night's sleep and stomach is off this morning. Plus it's Monday. Not a bad weekend. Busy but didn't get a lot accomplished. Nice to see parents but so sick of guilt trips. Ah well...
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John T · 3d
*Hugs*
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Bipolar Bear . · 3d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 3d
*Hugs*
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V R · 3d
*Hugs*
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Jen B · 3d
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 3d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 3d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 3d
Hope you have a good week, Jeff!
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Reba H · 3d
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 3d
*Hugs*
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Shelley H · 2d
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Cindy M · 3d 7
Saw M Fri night/yesterday: he gave me a portrait of my cat which his mother had painted. It was amazing! But also, no one's ever done anything like that for me: made me something themselves. Weirdly
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
I'd just been thinking the other day that she will
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
have another birthday next month, she's already in the 'elderly' category (though really well) and that I haven't many pictures of her. She is particularly special to me because I adopted her with my last partner, and she's been with me since I broke
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
up with him, lived on my own, moved to Scotland, became clinically depressed and ended up losing my job, unemployed for a couple of years while getting well, and now about to finish my first year back at work. She has been here through everything,
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
including the el cheapo cat food. I was quite tearful when M gave it to me and tried to explain to him why it meant so much to me. Getting a card for his mother today to try to tell her. People are really amazing sometimes!
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Love 1 · 15 Jul
these beautiful connections are sacred, because they get us in touch w/the goodness in ourselves & in others. We ascend together.
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Penelope P · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 15 Jul
That is so sweet, Cindy. Glad you've had such a great feline friend to be there for you through all of that & to have such lovely people in your life.
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Tuxi A · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Close to tears here. Wonderful story.
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Natalie C · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Reba H · 3d
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Margot L · 3d
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John T · 3d
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Jeff M · 3d
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Natalie C · 3d
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Alicia B · 3d 5
Football, more bike fixing and a ride today. Exercise really helps. Feeling good about myself turned out to be a trap, though. It's made me look in the mirror more and hope to see hot. I'm not right
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
now. I don't need to be, I've got all the love and attention I need anyway, because I don't know why, I just do. Boy, body dysmorphia is hard.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
I need to talk to Super*** again ( stupid name, but my bf who killed himself made it up, so I'm keeping it). This is exhausting, and so damn boring.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Made it a 5 by mistake, I'm feeling pretty OK, actually.
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Manda P · 16 Jul
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 3d
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Lydia R · 3d
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Tasha S · 3d
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John T · 3d
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Jeff M · 3d
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Margot L · 3d 3
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Lydia R · 3d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 3d
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tEnT S · 3d
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John T · 3d
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Lydia R · 3d 5
Day started with good mood and energy, then procrastination kicked in and now I'm tired and unmotivated. Been lying on my bed for hours. Mood okay though.
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Zoe D · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Jen B · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Good that mood is OK :) I find we all procrastinate when we have to do something that has no pleasure for us in it. I try to trick myself into enjoying chores now. Sometimes it works.
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Natalie C · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 16 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 16 Jul
Everyone needs a good stay in bed every now & then. Glad the mood has stayed ok!
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Margot L · 3d
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 3d
*Hugs*
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tEnT S · 3d
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John T · 3d
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nixiblu . · 3d
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 3d 5
Full-on procrastination mode. Not good.
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tEnT S · 3d
*Hugs*
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John T · 3d
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 3d
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Silke V · 3d
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Tasha S · 15 Jul 7
Got really into this drawing and didn't want to stop, feeling pretty good about it.
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Cindy M · 14 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Ooooh, love it when that happens.
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John T · 15 Jul
I saw it! It's great! Twilight Princess was not a game I played. My favourite character is Mipha from Botw. Hint hint.
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John T · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 15 Jul
Me too Alicia, it's not often I get into a state of flow anymore. Thanks John! I still need to finish Breath of the Wild 🙈
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John T · 15 Jul
Me too!
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Manda P · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 2d
Where can one see your art?
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Alicia B · 15 Jul 9
New tires for my bike, and tweaked the brakes, all done by A. with me just helping by bringing tools and screwing things on. We've fixed the tire on his bike, too, so hopefully tomorrow we can all go
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Manda P · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 15 Jul
Oh, man. I don't know how you keep Bipolar feelings in, Alicia. I have to let it all out. I hope you can reach the same point. It must be so hard to not be able to do that. I am glad you have this teeny tiny corner of the world to release your...
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Manda P · 15 Jul
...thoughts. I wish I could be your Bipolar Buddy in real life! 💖
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Manda P · 16 Jul
You don't have to thank me, Alicia! You make me realize stuff all the time. I think you'll find the one to finally get a little back. Hopefully sooner rather than later. 💞
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Tasha S · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
for a truly group ride. If his mood permits it! That's what they say about Borderlines: when they're feeling OK they are fantastic people to have around. So much fun, so efficient, and smart, and caring.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
I've noticed something. He irritates me so much when he's attention- seeking and meltdowny. But why? Perhaps because no-one 's ever asked how I felt being Bipolar, and I've never dared to impose. When I got diagnosed, all people wanted to know was
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
whether it was treatable, and whether I should actually take meds. I'm just good at pretending to be normal. And I always feel like showing my feelings is not worth it. Such a bother to everyone. No wonder I hate the person having all of their
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
feelings out all the time. I'm jealous in a way. Gotta work on that.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Thank you, John. I am in a manic phase I guess, but with meds is not extreme. The nine was for having done useful things and bonded with a human that day, too. It feels nice.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Mandaaa, thank you, I love you so much 💜 I've been trained as a child to keep my *** to myself, just by having an overly emotional mum. I always felt I needed to protect her. First time I remember hiding intense pain was when I was seven. It's
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
really hard for me to open up, I keep wishing someone would push for me to do it. That's probably how I got into an abusive relationship. I'm a calming presence to many people, it comes naturally because I love to listen and support and feel their
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
feels with them. I guess it's a habit, but it's kind of a nice one, so it stays. You've made me realize things big time today, thank you 💜💜💜
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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John T · 15 Jul
I like to speak frankly, because you do to me. A 9 is a very high score, but the irritation you describe doesn't sound like a 9. Hypomania? Keep an eye on things. Enjoy but don't be reckless should a situation occur. Chat if you need to. Take care!
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Alicia B · 15 Jul 9
Ever since I'd asked my protector Superbitch to be quiet about the way I look ( working on body dysmorphia here), I've been feeling so good about being in my body, it's almost weird. I appreciate the
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Raf F · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
hell out of it, and I just love everything it does
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
I love it ( imperfect asv it is) in a manic sort of way, which might be a sign of hypomania, or just compensation for all the years I've hated it. How do you feel about your bodies? Tell me.
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John T · 15 Jul
I feel terrible about mine. I'm a bag of ***. My hair is ever so slowly falling out. I have still got plenty of weight to lose. Parts of me are simply the wrong shape or size. I try not to think about it and just smile like a daft idiot! 😁
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John T · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 15 Jul
I usually feel pretty good. I want to lose a little weight and gain some muscle sometimes but I'm mostly happy. The main issue I have is that I wish I was taller. I feel good about some things but if I think of myself as being attractive too much I
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Janine S · 15 Jul
Feel guilty for some reason
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
Hated mine ever since hitting puberty. Feet, hands, head and breasts too big, shoulders too wide, not delicate enough, too much body hair for my liking, not losing enough weight, etc etc. Though I'm Happy you can enjoy yours now! 😊
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Tasha S · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
John and Lydia, I can totally relate, I've always felt the same way. When I look at other people I'm much kinder :) now trying to see the bod as a vehicle. And looking good as not the main point, which is hard in our culture.
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Janine, yay! I'm so glad to know some people are OK with what they look like. This is great. I wonder why the guilt though?
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
Not okay with mine, though sometimes for short periods I've had some success thinking as you do, Alicia. I really hate summer and feel worse then, because there are so many women who do look fantastic (even though I try to remember probably many of
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Cindy M · 15 Jul
suffer from the same feelings, at least occasionally). I'm torn between feeling happy for them and appreciating their beauty and confidence, and really hating them and feeling like I ought to stay indoors forever...
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Lydia R · 15 Jul
Same Cindy! Strange how our minds work sometimes.
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Manda P · 15 Jul
*Hugs*
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Manda P · 15 Jul
Well, you guys know how I feel about my body. ED issues really f*ck all that up. I wore the skin tight dress last night though & felt really good in it after my Sis's reaction. She would've told me if she thought I didn't look good in it. Even if...
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Manda P · 15 Jul
...I feel content in my body, I always hate my face, body hair, boobs, & butt. That doesn't make sense! 😂
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Alicia B · 15 Jul
Cindy, Manda, thank you so much for sharing. It means a lot, and I do feel ya, people! We should be nicer to ourselves, right? But how? Ugh.
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Jeff M · 3d
I've been told since I was a child that I'm ugly and fat, so even though I'm relatively fit now, I still believe it. And it's been borne out...not a good looking person, I guess, though never really sure why. Stupid bodies...
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John T · 3d
On one hand I sympathise and understand how wrong the brain can be. But an ultra marathon runner... 'Relatively fit'. Come on, you're super fit! I hope your brain understands this soon!
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John T · 3d
People's actions and the love they hold shine through more than a really good face or any body part. If you really respect someone it's the person not the body that is important. My cat doesn't care what I look like but he likes cuddles and being fed
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Manda P · 3d
John is EXACTLY right which means each of you Pandas are beautiful!
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Alicia B · 2d
Yes, it's a very silly thing to be worrying too much about. Trying to work on that.
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