3 avg
  9 days
  111 hugs
  10 followers
My recent interaction with other MoodPanda users
Janine S · 21 Jan 4
Suddenly feeling kind of numb and negative. I think messaging a lot of people at once is draining me but I don't like ignoring people.
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Honoria L · 21 Jan
*Hugs*
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Steph B · 21 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 21 Jan
Can be hard janine. Sometimes it's best to pick 2 or 3 β€œregulars” so to speak
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Janine S · 21 Jan
Yeah. My friends convinced me to try out this dating app so I'm mainly talking to strangers who are kind of creepy
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Janine S · 18 Jan 4
Messaged friends for a while. They all saw it but didn't reply, even though it was kind of important. I'm starting to think that no-one really cares about anything I have to say.
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Mandy O · 18 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jake G CHIEFPANDA · 18 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 18 Jan
Janine if you need a chat people like us care
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Janine S · 18 Jan
Thanks πŸ€— I know at least one friend didn't reply because he's going through a break up. The others reply for a while and then stop. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt but it just seems as though they lose interest in me.
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Janine S · 18 Jan
I struggle to be heard online and in real life, even by those closest to me. I have issues talking sometimes as it is because I get too anxious to physically talk. I just want to feel like what I say really matters to someone.
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Janine S · 18 Jan
I always check in on people and try to keep conversations going but I don't always get the same interest back. 😒 Sorry for the rant. I think this is the most I've ever written on here.
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
*Hugs*
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
It's ok if u wana chat we can and I rant a lot I wouldn't call that ranting. Cuz I rant more than that!
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
I am always here to chat with u!
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
Sorry if that sounded mean I'm a little bad at saying things
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Janine S · 19 Jan
Thank you. It actually didn't sound mean at all. 😊 There's a lot I don't talk about with my friends and family. I've told my family about my low moods, but only because I had to and now I can never talk about it. I don't think my friends really know
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Janine S · 19 Jan
... how low I get but I used to feel like they would really care if I told them. I know they care really. It's just that while we were looking drunk one night my friend mentioned that I'm the friend he talks to the least, and since then other friends
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Janine S · 19 Jan
... have said that they hang out with or call certain friends often. I always assumed we were all too busy and introverted to hang out really often, but apparently they just do that stuff without me. Now I've realized it I just keep finding more
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
Ty I really need to work on knowing if somthing is mean at all. You should tell your friends that are close so you can become even more closer friends. Idk if that will work, hope it makes u happier
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Janine S · 19 Jan
... evidence that this is the case. I put a fair amount of effort into keeping in contact with them and making sure they're okay but I can never keep a conversation going long enough to feel comfortable telling them about how low I feel.
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
Call them and ask how they are then tell them if they don't answer leave a mesage telling them, they should know cuz if they find out later that u didn't tell them they might think u dislike them, hope u guys don't have probs
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
Sorry if that sounded mean
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Janine S · 19 Jan
I really appreciate your replies 😊. I don't know how to bring it up in a way that won't offend them. I don't want to make it into a big deal.
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
Just say ' I have sadness ' or whatever and tell them exactualy what it is. It will be acward but it gets better and is good in the long run
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Zoe K · 19 Jan
That's what I did hope it works for u
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Janine S · 19 Jan
Thanks πŸ€— The replies seem to be mixed up a little so sorry if I miss anything. I'm starting to try to text people I haven't spoken to in a while anyway. Maybe I'll see if some of them have time for me to call. πŸ€”
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Verra T · 19 Jan
*Hugs*
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Verra T · 19 Jan
I'm here always for you :) even though we don't know much about each other yet, I hope we can be friends :)
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Janine S · 19 Jan
Thanks 😊 I'm sure we will be πŸ€—
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Janine S · 15 Jan 4
Too tired to listen properly to a lecture that was kind of boring. My mind wandered to negative thoughts a bit but not too bad. Hoping the next two lectures will be more interesting.
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Tasha S · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Difficult to keep the thoughts at bay when your mind is not focused. You'll get there. You got this
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Janine S · 15 Jan
Thanks. I have one more lecture today so I hope it'll interest me enough 😊
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Natalie C · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 15 Jan 6
A tiny spark of hope is flickering inside me. Took a shower, cleaned hair, shaved legs, trimmed nails, took a lot of time just caring for my body and myself and even enjoyed it. Feels good to be
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Lydia R · 15 Jan
clean again. Self care, right? Ate breakfast in sunshine, listening to music and now I'm tackling the battlefield my flat has become.
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Jessica J NEW · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
That's how the up streak starts :) keep going
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DesBear D · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Silke V · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Esther B · 15 Jan
yeah you should treat yourself like a princess sometimes
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nixiblu . · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 24 Jan
Thanks Jon! It seems like it's really an up streak looking back at the past days. Thankfully, because I have a lot to catch up on and still feel easily overwhelmed. Esther, I'm not thinking about myself as a princess but maybe treating oneself isn't
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Lydia R · 24 Jan
so bad after all. Thanks for the hugs! :)
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Lydia R · 15 Jan 4
Stressed. Got up too late because I had a crisis about having to shower & wash my hair and make it in time to uni. Still haven't showered, not going to uni and overwhelmed by the easiest things.
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Lewis D NEW · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Mark W · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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David M · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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David M · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
It's easy to become overwhelmed with when you have an issue. It doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you are ill. Like me, like so many others. Are your lecturers aware of your issue?
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Janine S · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lex M · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 24 Jan
Sorry for taking so long to reply Jon, I'm still easily distracted and overwhelmed. But no, except for one online friend, my GP and therapist no one knows about this, also not my lecturers. I've been inclined and almost desperate enought to tell some
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Lydia R · 24 Jan
of them, but you never know how someone will react and I'm scared of more disadvantages than benefits. I'm not sure if it'd really help, or just expose myself. :/ Thanks for the hugs!
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Lex M · 24 Jan
*Hugs*
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Hammah P · 15 Jan 1
Ffs i like him, alot.......
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Janine S · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Is there a reason why it's hurting you so much?
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Metron A · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Hammah P · 15 Jan
We came so close to going out but then my best friend went out with him instead and they've broken up and my and him have kinda started talking more and it's sorta the thought I want what I can't have
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Jon D · 15 Jan
take it from me, if you was chatting with him and it seemed like it was going some where and he then went out with someone else. It's probably not going to end well for you. Be very careful and don't rush into things. Hindsight is a wonderful thing
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Hammah P · 15 Jan
Yeah suppose
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Im
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Talking from
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Jon D · 15 Jan
I'm talking frkm
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Bloody phone!! I'm talking from experience. Sorry bout that
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Hammah P · 15 Jan
It's alright and thanks
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Janine S · 15 Jan 4
Feeling kind of weird. Mostly okay but I keep thinking about suicide even though I don't feel that bad. I'm wondering if I actually have depression. When I have more time I'll try to see a doctor.
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Depression is different for everyone. For me it started with a lack of motivation to do anything and I'd sit on my sofa for hours just staring at walls.
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Janine S · 15 Jan
I never say I have depression because I've never been diagnosed. I worried a lot and had strange, negative thoughts as a small child and things got worse when I went to high school.
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Metron A · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
I had a lot of issues as a kid including a ***e attempt at ten. Take it from me, if you have these thoughts and haven't had any diagnosis, speak to a professional. Once you start the road it gets a little easier
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Janine S · 15 Jan
I've spoken to professionals before but they seem to just put me into useless treatments without even considering actually making a diagnosis. Is that normal?
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Well my treatment was based on a mental health assessment and I was offered CFD (counselling for depression) or CBT (cognitive behavourial therapy) so that made it better for me. I would speak to a doctor about being put forward for a mental health..
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Jon D · 15 Jan
... assessment so that you can get correctly tailored help to your problems.
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Janine S · 15 Jan
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. I moved to a new city and still need to register with a new GP. I think one of the GPs I already spoke to might have diagnosed me with something but not told me, but that doesn't really make sense.
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Are you in the UK?
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Janine S · 15 Jan
Yeah
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Natalie C · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 15 Jan 5
Just realised that tomorrow is actually Monday, that I have to go to uni and haven't prepared one thing. Yeah... sucks. Today's been a complete waste of time. Finally received a message from my friend
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Lydia R · 14 Jan
& I'm relieved nothing bad happened (one of my major anxieties this weekend), but I'm also kinda sad & resigned. I have to stop taking everything personal as I'm not the centre of the world, but still feel like a burden & not of interest to anyone.
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John T · 14 Jan
It can be hard not to think your a burden, but you are really not. It's just anxiety and worrying that are warping your perception.
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John T · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 14 Jan
I know, or at least I try to force myself to see it like that. As I said, I'm not the most important thing in anyone's life, so I shouldn't always think x, y and z are because of me. This is pretty selfish and arrogant behaviour, but yeah, that's me.
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Josie B · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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paul M · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 14 Jan
It's also behaviour of everyone in the world who has some anxieties, Lydia. It's worth remembering it's nothing to with your personality. At least, not in my opinion. I've had pretty grandiose thoughts in the past, but it's my illness causing, not...
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John T · 14 Jan
...a fault with me as a person. Try to separate things into 'things caused by treatable illnesses like depression and anxiety' and 'actual evidence based reasons that use well balanced thinking that show I am this, that, or the other'....
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John T · 14 Jan
...usally if stuff falls in to the latter category, you can still change it, or it'll change on it's own. Do a bit of breathing from yoga or something calming the moment the worries happen, try mindfulness, cbt, keep taking your meds, you'll....
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John T · 14 Jan
...get through this! (Sorry about the four hundred and twenty seven thousand, six hundred and ninety one and a seventh posts)
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Things get missed sometimes. That's okay. But today was not a waste of time. Time cannot be wasted when you have depression. Because every moment is a fight, once again you won. So try to remember that just being alive is a victory
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Γ‰va H · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 24 Jan
Thanks John and Jon, and everyone for giving hugs! A bit late to reply, but yeah.. I think one problem could be that I don't think of myself as ill. I've never got a diagnosis, and know I shouldn't get hung up about this. This will take some time.
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Lydia R · 15 Jan 3
I think I'm not as badly off as 2 or 3 might suggest, but I'm not great either. I'm utterly unmotivated, fatigued and bored out of my mind. Overthinking/paranoia constantly kicks in.
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Noel L · 14 Jan
Sounds quite hard Lydia. What might motivate you to do something that distracts your overthinking?
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John T · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
My worst thing with depression was being unable to pick and stick to one game or tv show. Then I'd just stare at walls or Facebook like a drone. I won't suggest trying to find a hobbie, because I didn't. I am too lazy. But find someone who you ....
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Jon D · 15 Jan
... can just be depressed with and they wont
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Jon D · 15 Jan
... can just be depressed with and they won't push you or try to talk about it. They are just there and you talk about what ever. Random bulls**t mostly but it really helps.
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nixiblu . · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 15 Jan 2
I just wanna sleep forever
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Amelia P · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Brooke A · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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sonny S · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Natalie C · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Margot L · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Kris B · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Babie C · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Cindy M · 14 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Felt like that so many times it's unreal. Just like death but without the commitment. But when you have your good days even if they are few and far between. It's good to be awake
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DesBear D · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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nixiblu . · 15 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 13 Jan 5
Morning all, to early to tell how I'll be today, but I'm not already at rock bottom upon waking up. That's a start?
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tEnT S · 13 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jelly I · 13 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 13 Jan
*Hugs*
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Amelia P · 13 Jan
*Hugs*
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Amelia P · 13 Jan
Being a 5 right away is a great thing! Gotta celebrate the little victories. Just keep your head up you can make it :)
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Tasha S · 13 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 13 Jan
Thanks Amelia :)
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Jon D · 12 Jan 3
Getting there. I am sat up in bed now and actually contemplating getting some food and taking my medication. #smallvictories
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
Good job! Keep going. :)
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Stephanie O NEW · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Sarah B · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan
Thanks all :)
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Janine S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Amelia P · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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tEnT S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan 0
Still not moved from bed, first woke up 6 and a half hours ago. Still not taken my meds. Quite happy to throw myself off a bridge. But that involves getting out of bed...
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
Indeed it does! So get up, eat something, take your meds, don't throw yourself off anything, maybe go back to bed, but hopefully start to feel a bit better. :)
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Jon D · 12 Jan
I wish I had the motivation to even do that.
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
I would say do it for me, as I find I'm more amenable when I'm doing things for other people, but you know what's best for you and hopefully will find that motivation today, if only for a little while. Probably doesn't even take 5 min.
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Sarah B · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Sarah B · 12 Jan
I know how this feels. Just do what you can.
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Janine S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Amelia P · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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tEnT S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan 0
Haven't taken my medications yet 3 hours late. Haven't got out of bed in 4 hours just keep napping and then avoiding medicating. Fuck everything.
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Jen B · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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John T · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan
Thank you
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Jeff M · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Amelia P · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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tEnT S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Max T · 12 Jan 0
Drank half a bottle of whisky last night because I'm an absolute idiot. Got climbing today and I'm annoyed I won't be feeling my best.
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Michail S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan
I have to fight the urge daily to drink myself to death...
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Jeff M · 12 Jan
I fight that urge often as well. For me it's beer...always hate how I feel the next morning. Good reminder to pace myself tonight!
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Antoinette M NEW · 12 Jan 5
I feel kinda empty, what's wrong?, I don't know either
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Jon D · 12 Jan
Can relate to this so much
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Jeff M · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Tasha S · 12 Jan 5
Being lazy, need to get out of bed
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Jon D · 12 Jan
It's okay woke up at 7 it's not 1pm still not out. Feel that.
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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paul M · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Reba H · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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DesBear D · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Anthony M · 12 Jan 7
Practically recovered from cold. One of my friends has a shitty relationship and I kind of caught myself trying to manipulate her into my point of view. I will be better and not meddle, only support
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Kieran L · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Jon D · 12 Jan
Well done that you caught yourself. I've done this soo much. It's so hard. I always feel so ashamed of myself
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Janine S · 12 Jan 5
I'm going to try to get some more sleep. Hopefully when I wake up I'll be able to motivate myself enough to do something productive.
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Jon D · 12 Jan
I've been asleep for hours when I could be up. I don't feel as depressed but I certainly don't feel motivated :/
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Tasha S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Janine S · 12 Jan
I get how you feel. I didn't think I was particularly low today but I still slept too much
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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paul M · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 12 Jan 3
Headache, sad, tired, guilty for skipping work and cancelling study date. Don't wanna go outside at all, don't wanna meet anyone, but also don't want to be alone. In a depressive episode?
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
Looking at all the red this could be the case haha....
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Jon D · 12 Jan
I've been off work for 2 months with mine and I hate it. Know how you feel
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Janine S · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
2 months is hard. I'm sorry, Jon. Though I'm feeling guilty I also don't really want to go there at the moment. To be honest I'm not even making an effort to feel better. I'm probably only making things worse by once again being fundamentally me.
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Lydia R · 12 Jan
My eating habits have worsened, my personal hygiene is lacking, my flat is still okay, but also on a downward trend, my to-do-list is constantly growing, and my loneliness is crushing me. I do hope things will look up for you soon though, Jon!
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Jon D · 12 Jan
Relatable points: I stated eating junk food and started starving myself as a method of self punishment. - Don't do this set an alarm just to eat some toast or something. Do something for you.
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Jon D · 12 Jan
It shames me to say but my hygiene went too. It's better now, but I'd shower once a week if that? Same with brushing my teeth. Don't worry, I get it and I don't think you are disgusting
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Jon D · 12 Jan
My flats a bomb site because I barely spend time there and just can't bring myself to do it, every time I go home I go to bed to fight my depression. The best thing I can say is get some help, medication, counselling. And get a support network of ...
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Jon D · 12 Jan
... friends you trust with your life. Let them be your listeners
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DesBear D · 12 Jan
*Hugs*
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Lydia R · 13 Jan
I'm in therapy and I'm taking meds. I'm lacking a support network though. Only one of my friends knows about what's going on and we're having a rough time at the moment. So no one to contact that's why I'm venting here. And there aren't that many
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Lydia R · 13 Jan
friends left to begin with. Everything sucks right now. I also starve myself as some form of self-punishment since I don't self harm in any other way. Maybe isolating myself is another punishment. Since starting the meds I've tried very hard to eat
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Lydia R · 13 Jan
more regularly and now everything's gone to *** in a few days. Well, let's begin again. I have to go grocery shopping today or I won't have food for the next days. Big struggle to leave the house. Thanks for the hugs Janine and Des!
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Jon D · 15 Jan
Hi Lydia sorry I didn't reply. I do the starving and isolation too, totally get it. Once I have a little perk up in mood I then eat so much haha!! But these days and support networks take their tole. I've found this community to be very supportive...
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Jon D · 15 Jan
... all try respond when I can to see if I have any relatable experiences. I won't give advise unless asked for, I just share my own experience in the hope that you can find some usefulness from it :)
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