take care Pen x
Frozen hands. Went to shop but felt just as cold back in house. Put heating on. Did housework so warmer now. M coming over in an hour so going to get a shower. Lady business stalling. Annoying. Worried about staying at his tomorrow night.
People getting close to me outdoors, hate it. Sick of them not being patient or showing respect and decency to others. Racing past people. What is this fixation with always getting in front of people? The world, or at least England, has gone insane.
Really I despair and actually makes me long for another lockdown. Anyone would think alcohol is the only important thing in life. And for a lot of people it is.
What a lovely sentiment! I think of that too, sometimes, telling the past me not to despair I mean.
I'm scared of the COVID as it is but I found a nice place, good cleanliness reviews. Every time it's just like he doesn't really want to go away with me. Over two years now and not a single night away.
I just wanted a couple of days away to see the autumn trees. He then comes up with two other places. I say let's not bother until after COVID. I will p on his chips in return because I can be a btch like that.
Feeling like he only wants “us” on his terms. I'm expected at his every weekend. If I don't want to then he wants to come to me. You wouldn't believe it if I said that I feel smothered alongside being totally unloved. It doesn't make sense.
Smothered alongside being totally unloved... Been there! It's not right.
I'm sorry you aren't being treated as you should. Guys can be real big jerks! (Girls too!) I think a weekend away sounds amazing!
Thanks everyone x
And you sweet nixi bear!
No wonder I've not been able to shift weight. Typical. Good job it wasn't life threatening eh? Don't know whether I can be bothered to look at my UC account now. Have cut some of next door's hedge and just need a shower and a lie down.
wishing you rest
Thanks everyone, nice to get some hugs at the end of the day.
Maybe because there are slightly more males than females. Maybe because it is not a warped organisation. Gradually breaking contact with my ex colleague. She isn't working now and doesn't want to by the look of it.
I can tell the difference in me. Mood is still sometimes quite low but that's just hormones and humans. Things with M are okay, I'm learning to live with the situation. Giving love but not getting much back. Oh well, that's life.
I am sleeping much better but my diet is off. Given up the running but I'm more active than I was in lockdown anyway. Need to sort out my weight but I don't think peri menopause helps. Things are better but not perfect.
My goal is five years and everything should be right. We will see. This year is a write off. We start anew in January. Not wishing my time away but things are stuck, stagnant. Let's just get through each day, little by little, for now.
Normal colleagues is a good thing:)Maybe there's scope for change in the situation with M? You deserve to get a lot back - does he know how lucky he is?
Answers come with years.well,as for me...,but I am here) because I think ,I know one very important answer 🙂.
Thanks all x
You **are** brilliant, Pen! :)
I am feeling inexplicably down. Went to visit his friend today and it made me feel worse about what I haven't got and what I want.
Similar! But nearer 3!
Got a Spotify playlist, Pen?
Yes John, I have a few under penelopepemberton. They're my saviours many times.