5.4 avg
  1539 days
  11755 hugs
  192 followers
Failed on c25k. Two ten minute runs and I couldn't finish the second one. Probably only ran half of it. Knee hurt after. I'm sick of being so heavy and stiff. I'm sick of having a messed up head.
Manfred F
3d ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
3d · 1+ YEAR

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Manda P
2d · LEGEND

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Manda P
2d · LEGEND

***big hugs***

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Weekend at M's. Sometimes it's tricky but my love for him overrides it all. I worship him, not sure that's so good. Got email from a friend. Will have to re-read it as she said some very wise stuff.
Penelope P
5d · LEGEND

I'm a bit weird as it's a full moon and I'm in the middle of lady business. Feel detached and confused. Final week before I start new job. My friend understands. Will read tomorrow when hopefully I'll be thinking clearer.

Penelope P
5d · LEGEND

Week 6 running, hope to be able to do at least one session out in public again.

Samantha C
5d ·

*Hugs*

Ada L
5d ·

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Manda P
5d · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
5d · LEGEND

Woot! Week 6!

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5 Penelope P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND
Completed week 5, it was tough on the left shin but took it very slow and my breathing is good. Chatted to a friend, the only one that regularly checks in on me because I live alone. She's a good mate
Manfred F
02 Jul 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

Things ok with M, he always makes me laugh without fail every day. That's something to value despite all my other needs that aren't met. Suppose we can never have perfection. Slowly coming to terms with starting new job. I'm okay but only okay.

Laura B
02 Jul 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

Well done on completing week 5! That's awesome!

Anna D
03 Jul 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
6d · HERO

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3 Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND
Toilet sorted for now. Plumber said pipe is cracked. Last time landlord tried to make out it was my fault putting unmentionables down. When he knew it was damaged all along. What a cheek.
Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

I've rented for many years & know that most landlords do not spend money on their property unless it's totally the last resort. But they like to scoop in your extortionate rent every month. Especially mean when a lot of us have no choice but to rent.

Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

It's annoyed me now because I know it's just going to keep on happening.

Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

And I also wanted to say that it may be great that I have got a job but understand that this takes me further away from any future living together with M. He's not going to want to move to the area where my job is and the commute is hard as it is.

Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

I can't move in with him now because it is just too far away to making commuting doable. Nearly two hours each way on a good day. Wherever he finds a new house is not going to be in this city anyway. I think we'll fizzle out.

Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

I can't keep going to his every weekend because the backwards and forwards on top of new job is just going to stress me out too much. I want to run away and never come back. I say this all the time thought, and funnily enough it never happens.

Shelley H
01 Jul 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manfred F
01 Jul 2020 ·

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Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

That sounds rough. I hope you can somehow get it sorted.

nixiblu .
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

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2 Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND
Heard back from new boss, I'm going in on the 13th for trial run. Absolutely dreading it. As for agent, they say that they've left messages for my landlady. Trouble is I know she died a month ago!
Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

So who are they contacting? M is being his usual unsupportive self. I just get nothing but wise cracks and simplicity from him. I'm not really that happy at all to be honest.

me M
01 Jul 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

J S
01 Jul 2020 ·

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Ann L
01 Jul 2020 ·

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Jen B
01 Jul 2020 · HERO

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Shelley H
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

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Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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3 Penelope P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Well Pandas, my toilet blocked up again but I must add that this is not down to me!! Nothing from landlord of course, they're the worst. GP rang and just told me to self refer for physio.
Manfred F
30 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Always the way, I have zero faith in doctors I'm afraid. The good news is I got over half way on the couch to 5k. But the next session is running 20 minutes non stop. I only just got through 8 minutes without collapsing. Dreading it.

Penelope P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Because I have no job and basically no future then I'm feeling very much not myself. Again, I have no clue who I am or what I'm meant to be doing. Running anywhere is definitely not like me at all. Anyone else feeling this way?

Robert H
30 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
30 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
30 Jun 2020 · HERO

Aim for 20, but don't feel bad if you only get to 10. The challenge is only a guide and it is best to do at own pace. But if your knee is injured it might be better to have a rest day?

Laura B
30 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Penelope P
30 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I hear you nixi, but I'm hoping this running (or fast walking more like) is actually strengthening up my leg muscles. I do not get any pain during or after and it maybe psychological but I feel moving the knee is better than sitting and it seizing.

Penelope P
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

It does give me a slight boost when I've completed a stage. I plan to rest tomorrow. I've just got two in already this week because I am going to stay at M's so won't get chance later in the week. We shall see.

Alicia B
01 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Shelley H
01 Jul 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Anna D
01 Jul 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Manda P
02 Jul 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
02 Jul 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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5 Penelope P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Week 5 of couch to 5k was ok at 6am. I can now run for three sessions of 5 minutes with 3 minute breaks in between. Actually felt quite easy. But I have grasped the nettle and GP ringing me tomorrow.
Penelope P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Told mother and she says โ€œwell I've never been able to bend my knees or kneel downโ€ blah blah blah. She had a serious car accident in her 20s which shattered her knee. I have no excuse. Then it's โ€œwell you fell down the stairs sleepwalking as a kidโ€

Penelope P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Like, I was perfectly fine after that but if she was that bothered why didn't she get me checked out. It's as if I'm so weak and why can't I just put up with it. Makes me mad.

Penelope P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I feel slightly hopeful that July might be better. I have plucked up the courage to get my knees looked at. Next I might take a look and see if there's any jobs out there. And throughout all this the overwhelming feeling is ignore, run away, hide ๐Ÿ˜‚

Manfred F
29 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
29 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
29 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Laura B
29 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
30 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

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3 Penelope P
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Still don't know whether to ring doctors tomorrow about my knee. Don't know whether to stop couch to 5k in case it's making it worse. Back home now I know I'll avoid everything again.
Penelope P
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I am just letting this time slip away. Being lazy, overwhelmed and unmotivated. I just want to sleep and hope it all goes away.

Laura B
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

P B
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manfred F
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Hope things look up for you soon. I would definitely not risk injuring your knee even more.

Anna D
29 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
29 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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2 Penelope P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Getting quite depressed about my mobility. So stiff and achey every day. Scared to ring doctors. This heat is unbearable too, makes me so lethargic. Some days I wish I hadn't woken up.
Penelope P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Which is a terrible thing to think when I now have the man of my dreams. Also down about my new job which hasn't yet materialised. No motivation to find another or do anything really. Also, did I say I'm too hot???

Shelley H
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Shelley H
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

Sending you much love and the BIGGEST COMFOETING HUGS MY DEAR FRIEND. โค

Shelley H
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

sorry for the typo...SENDING YOU THE BIGGEST COMFORTING HUGS MY DEAR FRIEND โค

Kitty T
25 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Laura B
25 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Jen B
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Robert H
25 Jun 2020 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manda P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
25 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Hope you are able to call soon. You deserve to feel better.

Kitty T
25 Jun 2020 ·

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4 Penelope P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
First time doing my couch to 5k in public. Felt much harder somehow but I went very slow and completed. Only passed one other jogger thank goodness.
Penelope P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Once back home a squirrel came into my garden and stared at me. I don't know if he was my spirit animal though, he moves much faster than me ๐Ÿ˜‚

Laura B
24 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

tEnT S
24 Jun 2020 · 2+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
24 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

corrado M
24 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Alicia B
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I really want to try this but I don't want to deal with the disappointment of giving up.

Penelope P
24 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Manda I hear you. I'm likely to give this up because my knees are crook and this really doesn't help. Considering going to doctor even though they've been bad for decades. I've put weight on over lockdown which also doesn't help. Quite scared really.

nixiblu .
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

Well done. I'm glad you continued

nixiblu .
25 Jun 2020 · HERO

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Penelope P
27 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thanks dear nixi ๐Ÿ˜Š

tEnT S
28 Jun 2020 · 2+ YEAR

*Hugs*

corrado M
28 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

corrado M
28 Jun 2020 ·

the squirrel sees everything

Penelope P
28 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

๐Ÿ˜ฏ corrado ๐Ÿ˜‚

Alicia B
29 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

My knees are not doing well, either, so I've switched to cycling. They say it's less impactful.

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3 Penelope P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
No Reason Given
Manfred F
23 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
23 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Ann L
23 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Laura B
23 Jun 2020 ·

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Manda P
23 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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4 Penelope P
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
The tears are almost breaking through.
J S
15 Jun 2020 ·

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Spacekitten V
15 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Ann L
15 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Max T
15 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
15 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Penelope P
15 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thank you all x

corrado M
15 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Tim S
16 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

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Tim S
17 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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7 Penelope P
11 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I'm so happy because I will be able to snuggle with M on Saturday night and stay over again at last! No physical contact for nearly three months has been tough and many people will not understand.
Penelope P
11 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

And yes, happy at the moment is only 7 just because of all the other strain this lockdown has caused.

nixiblu .
11 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
11 Jun 2020 · HERO

I know exactly. The American came over 2 weeks ago for the weekend. It was wonderful . But could be months till we meet again

Manfred F
11 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Ann J
11 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Ann L
11 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Manda P
11 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Anonmous A
12 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Anonmous A
12 Jun 2020 · HERO

So happy for you. Big hugs.

nixiblu .
13 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Tim S
14 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Tim S
14 Jun 2020 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

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1 Penelope P
07 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I think my baby blue tits have died ๐Ÿ˜ข
Manfred F
07 Jun 2020 ·

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Ann L
07 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
07 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manda P
07 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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3 Penelope P
06 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Recently I feel like my head is going to explode. I don't know who I am, where I am, what the point is. Never felt so detached from the human race in my entire life.
Ann L
06 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Dianne D
06 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Melody L
07 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
07 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

Manda P
07 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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6 Penelope P
05 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Completed my first week of couch to 5k. Today was harder than the 1st day! I'm only telling one friend I'm doing this as I'll just get mocked when I give up. M came round and we walked to the pond.
nixiblu .
06 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
06 Jun 2020 · HERO

Why will you give up?

nixiblu .
06 Jun 2020 · HERO

Also, telling, someone provides motivation and accountability so that you continue. You obviously started it for some reason. X

Penelope P
06 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I'll give up nixi because I have zero will power and never finish anything I start!

nixiblu .
07 Jun 2020 · HERO

Perhaps you changed a habit.

nixiblu .
07 Jun 2020 · HERO

I've faith in you

Manda P
07 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

I've been thinking of starting that. I can't stick with anything either.

Penelope P
08 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Manda, I've just completed day one of week two even on the worst day of the month if you know what I mean. It wasn't great but I'm not a wheezing, sweating mess. Really, if I can do it then anyone can because I'm like a doddering retired cart horse ๐Ÿ˜‚

Penelope P
08 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

The main battle is with the will power. I could have just skipped today because of the lady things, rolled further under the duvet and quit. But I pushed through. Just depends how tough it gets and whether I still do it on my down days.

Manda P
08 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Well done for sticking with it! That's really great. I can barely walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes.

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4 Penelope P
04 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Little bit better but it won't last.
Ann L
04 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

corrado M
04 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

me M
05 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Johnya T
05 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
05 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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2 Penelope P
03 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
No Reason Given
Ann L
03 Jun 2020 ·

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Anna D
03 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Manda P
04 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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2 Penelope P
02 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
Going to take advantage of the sun for this morning then get emails done and some writing/crafting. Looks like the rain is coming tomorrow which is fine by me. Reading a book about emotions.
Ann L
02 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Bipolar Bear .
02 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Anna D
02 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Manda P
04 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
06 Jun 2020 · HERO

*Hugs*

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1 Penelope P
01 Jun 2020 · LEGEND
I am really at a loss as to why men treat me like sht. They're not even bad men on the face of it. Just men and perhaps I will simply never understand them.
Penelope P
01 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

Thought I was starting June a little bit hopeful. That lasted less than 12 hours. Seems like this month is going to be as shtty as normal.

corrado M
01 Jun 2020 ·

*Hugs*

Anna D
01 Jun 2020 · 1+ YEAR

*Hugs*

Manda P
01 Jun 2020 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

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