Started medication again over weekend after stopping for three weeks and feeling better. Brains all peaceful n quiet atleast. Enjoying listening to music today fru guitar amp up loud :)
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Thanks for hugs :) here have all one each back :p id say

04 Aug 2015

Go for the group superhugglewuggle lol but i might not beable to handle a 5girl panda piley on :p ta fo

04 Aug 2015
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F#%+}{${$||$'#*##¥ yooooooooou dibilatating anxiety destroying my life experience...

Thanks for the huggies :)

02 Aug 2015
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Yes, Steve! Great news

30 May 2014

Hey jim how goes it :)

13 Jun 2014

Ta for all the huggies everyone x

13 Jun 2014

Can't stop hugging :)

13 Jun 2014
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All good :) away to take dog a walk :)

good to see you Steve! hope you are doing well... walking the dog again?maybe a hike?? have fun..good exercise too!

06 May 2014

Yea been pottering in garden n i think its time to go burn a few cals :)

06 May 2014

hi Steve! :)

06 May 2014

Steve the panda enigma

06 May 2014

hey steve, glad to see your okay :)

07 May 2014

What kind of dog do you have? I have one too :)

07 May 2014

hey cutie lol

28 May 2014

Well i thought i wrote a huge long blab about the dog the other day but its not here now lol so ima just say sheepdog called seb lol great dog as smart as a wee 2yr old human lololl

30 May 2014

What kinda doggy is yours?

30 May 2014

Hey seleneeee :) :p

30 May 2014

Cavalier King Charles spaniel, cutest thing ever. Not so smart, tho...

08 Jun 2014
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ughh it never ends, its like i just woke up today with a depressed brain, cant seem to think of much else other that suicide being my best option to escape myself from it all. lol

Its crazy lol thought posting on here may help abit like project my thoughts out of myself n away n it does abit :) yay for moodpanda x

11 Mar 2014

I just wanna give up drip to my knees n scream at the sky n just say i f#%king give up ok i cant do it i give up then row out into the ocean sit on edge of boat n shoot myself in the head lol fish food lol

11 Mar 2014

I tell ppl to just offer up one small prayer for help. there is light at the end if the tunnel but I think & feel we have to ask to be led out quickly because the pain is getting more than we can handle!

11 Mar 2014

its nice c u steve ivw missed ya my friend! hate to hear u r going thru this.big hug n kiss for u xoxo

11 Mar 2014

like Sandy said...nice to hear from you....but not too nice what you're goin through.... hope you feel better soon :)

11 Mar 2014

How are you, buddy? I might visit Scotland again this autumn :-D

05 Apr 2014

Hey yall :) ta for hugs x oooh so where you going this time in scotland?

06 May 2014

Edinburgh again! It may be next year tho. In 1 1/5 year I'm probably studying in the UK x

07 May 2014

Cool :) is the thought of studying here exciting or nerve wracking fo lol

13 Jun 2014
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sweet new panda home page!looks great!..trying to stay motivated, confident and not let depression sneak his way in .
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back to normal god it feels good to be clear headed n fresh n healthy xxx
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self inflicted depression tonight after few beers out for meal with friends. just feel guilty n suicidal-ish now really.

*huge hugs* Steve.

11 Nov 2013

Ta for the hugs x i got to sleep n thankfully i have awoken all 'normal' again lol only had like a handful of pints of beer too lol think il stay t-total now lol xxx

11 Nov 2013

is is because of the alcohol? luckily you feel better now :)

11 Nov 2013

Yea i went out to friends engagement party sat night an yea just sunday got steadily worse till that depression trigger switch just flipped. I only drink now on special occasions like that but achh i think im just gonna be a non drinker now.

12 Nov 2013

Whether it was worse cause id been exercsing alot this last two months n being really healthy plus id also been taking allergy pills those last few days while looking after dog n blahhh well i was oryt over the night i felt alil high but ach

12 Nov 2013

But sunday was bad an i aint felt like that in a long time im just best staying away from any nighttime social occasions an stay on sofa pot of herbal tea movie rental ha stick to the exercise n daylight x

12 Nov 2013
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YOU. You disappeared. You always worry me when you do that! I've missed your stupid face being here. :p

30 Sep 2013

i miss u also!!!

30 Sep 2013

I miss you two too :) i spent lastweek in venice with most of my friends and the bride n grooms family at my pals wedding. Was nice :) home now fearing that was prob the last sun n warmth il see n feel till 2014 ha :p i get a general panda

30 Sep 2013

Loving warmth from you lovelys :) but outside fo bbrrrr chilly now! So i missed anything? Any gossip?:p

30 Sep 2013

I got my lip pierced and moved to manchester.

30 Sep 2013

I panicked about you (leave a note, maybe?!) and have begun to slip behind with school work again... but it will probably be fine...

01 Oct 2013

Awesome!a lip piercing!!like this :). lolol thats my made up sign for lip piercing ha :p

01 Oct 2013

Yea il leave a wee note n slip it under your door so u know im ok :)

01 Oct 2013

How come your slipping behind?ive no doubt youl get there eventually :) doesnt have to be a race :)

01 Oct 2013

I will get there eventually, but apparently that's not good enough for certain teachers. I had to take a massive diversion to avoid my English teacher today. And I hid behind a door from Dr Physics. I will get there though, don't worry.

01 Oct 2013

Also, my room's number eight, it's called Mackintosh. :p

01 Oct 2013

Isnt 8 a really lucky number in china an other parts of asia round there 8

01 Oct 2013

You need some of those magicians smoke bombs on pocket n then you just go "alllakassamm" an throw one on floor an pooooffff you disappear in the fog lolol

01 Oct 2013
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nice sunny pleasant day here, all is fine i guess :)

hi steve! xxx

24 Sep 2013

It's been awhile. How have you been?!

26 Sep 2013

Hi :) emm yea things are oryt i guess generally x not much to say really haha spent last week in venice with friends at friends wedding.was lovely.nice city n islands to hangout in :)

30 Sep 2013

Sounds wonderful! :)

02 Oct 2013
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miss seeing you on here Steve <3

11 Sep 2013

yaa-ish steveooo heyyy

12 Sep 2013

Me too, but a bit more fine now you've finally reappeared. ;)

13 Sep 2013

Ta yall x :) preoccupied with getting myself out of summer n into that more productive healthy mindframe etc

14 Sep 2013

I'm trying to do the same... it's harder than you first think, isn't it? :p

14 Sep 2013
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Lots of hugs Stevie bear luv u <3 glad yr a 7! x

28 Aug 2013

yaaaa glad ur feeling better Steveooooo xoxoxo

28 Aug 2013

Ta yall xxx

28 Aug 2013
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rrrhhhhhhhhh ive started smoking cigarettes aahhhhh its messing me up.

I feel defeated.

24 Aug 2013

Really bad for your lungs and exercising too.. try and stop!

24 Aug 2013

Its playing havoc with my motivation to exercise etc im trying to run it out off my system n its just like the most counter productive force for health n fitness x

24 Aug 2013

maybe it helps to have a note in your wallet to remind you why you want to quit. human are driven by two forces: pain and pleasure. you've got to associate smoking with pain and not smoking with pleasure;)

24 Aug 2013

Its a drug that my brains now using as a stimulant prob cause ive had a long summer of not exercising as much and socialising n stuff too much instead and cause im on a lower dose of anti depressants this year an

24 Aug 2013

My brains prob using it as a counter balance cause im not exercising n on a lower dose its pepping me up on the mind but making me feel crappy overall etc soo i have a plan lol

24 Aug 2013

Im gonna up my dose of pills to stimulate my brain and start running again everyday and thatl take care of the desire to prep the brain with other drugs etc an then once its outta my system

24 Aug 2013

Bout a month il reduce dose again and all will be fine lol thats my theory n thats what im doing as of tomorrow lol :p

24 Aug 2013

Like i never took my pills thur or friday so on friday night by dinner i was craving mass intake of food so i ordered a huge amount of chinese takeaway and scoffed till bloated etc lol brains like one giant drug addict lol

24 Aug 2013

This is a plan fo n itl work im pretty sure x

24 Aug 2013

had my last cigarette January 31st this year... think i quit for good... very hard habit to quit...maybe get the patch or lozenges they really helped me..good luck and *hugs*

24 Aug 2013

oh and i had been a smoker for about 30+ years since i was a teenager

24 Aug 2013

weak :p you stink!!

24 Aug 2013

you can do it Stevey I have faith in you!

24 Aug 2013

*Triple hugs* be strong u can do it. Mind over matter xx

25 Aug 2013

I'm not trying to be mean but the way I quit smoking was because of the bad smell.. Sure you can do it!!

25 Aug 2013

Yea i know lol i laughed when i read it lol im off them!!will report back to yal at weekend if i makeit that far :p

26 Aug 2013

Cheers for all the hugs n concern fo :) i knew itd be a good idea to just say it outloud to everyone n face it head on rather than struggle in silence x

26 Aug 2013

<3 <3 Never easy giving up sumin...even love. Thinking of u, Try and take d bull by the horns and go with will power <3

26 Aug 2013

Ta, Doing fine seem to be off the ciggies and preoccupying myself with work and running and food n i feel good :) feel healthier already :p

28 Aug 2013

Lol running lastnight at midnight :p

28 Aug 2013

yeaaa congrats Stevey :-)<3<3

28 Aug 2013

congrats Steve! great to hear about your not smoking

28 Aug 2013

Yea all sorted im fine now, the summer of debauchery is all behind me now :p

11 Sep 2013

Glad 2hear it :) 🐼Hugs

11 Sep 2013
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mehhh feel pretty crappy prob just post summer blues maybe i duno. im in a funky tired lethargic kinda state i need to do somin to bring me out of it. just blahhhhhh lol

try doing something u enjoy mayb it bring u up?

23 Aug 2013
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shattered.bedtime.did i say shattered :p night panda family x

Night Night Steve *hugs*, Sleep well xx

22 Aug 2013

sweet dreams Steve super big hugs<3 <3 <3 <3

22 Aug 2013
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tried to save an abandoned baby field mouse with eyes still closed over weekend in garden. he wasnt claimed n the weather was changing so i took him inside

Used my heated plant propagator to supply warmth n a house for him an i used a sterilised dripper to feed him warm soy milk n stuff n i thought hed make it! Once his eyes opened i could prep him n eventually return him to the garden

21 Aug 2013

Maybe make a wee nest n see if he could survive on his own etc he died lastnight. I failed. Maybe i was complacent about him surviving. Buried him now an thats that life goes on. :(

21 Aug 2013

very kind of u to try so hard to keep him alive tho u did alot n thats so wonderful of u steve

21 Aug 2013

U Did a beautiful thing! Steve, U Have a very special heart! Hugs to you for loving all the life on this planet!

21 Aug 2013

Wow, I wish everyone had such a big heart <3

21 Aug 2013

Yea was sad but i guess i gave him a few days of life more than he woulda. I buried him a foot down in the dirt so he can return to the universe i guess in time.

21 Aug 2013

On a positive i have my plant propagator out now n clean perhaps i should attempt to grow some flowers again:)

21 Aug 2013

What a beautiful person you are Stevie bear <3 <3 Im really touched by yr compassion. *Monster hugs* xx

21 Aug 2013
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