Happy birthday John! Always nice to see a post but glad it's green
Why are YOU having to pay. Surely it's the landlord responsibility if there is no electricity
You'd think so but no.
Can't remember when I was last this tired. Pulling 14-hour days because visa crap is a second job in recent weeks. Working complex, busy admin 9-5, come home, immediately back to studying regulations and working through forms and email chains.
Barely had time to eat this week. Grabbing something in a pause while my wife works on a document. Long stretches of stressed conversation (about visa), crying, some arguments (because of stress).
Run off my feet at work, bombarded with 'priorities' from all sides. I can't ever finish anything because other things always come up. Email now refuses to display inbox counts because they're too high.
I have a brain that's good at keeping multiple things running in the background. Sometimes for years! But increasingly think this is actually a bad fit for chaotic jobs like this, not a good one as I thought.
If I can focus on one thing, I can keep others ticking over in the background while also thinking about the bigger picture of this single task. Still have energy and time for non-work tasks. But this job throws so many things I get overloaded.
Maybe if I were less back-burnertastic, I'd find it easier not to think about those other tasks and to focus on one thing at a time? Hard to know...
I mean, I'm good at handling this. Just this afternoon a boss was mentioning how cheerful and relaxed me + colleague are. I can carry on functioning well, pretty deep into this hole, getting the things done that Need To Get Done cos what else can I?
And a lot of the time I can distract myself from it, and unconsciously convince myself that the dry eyes and weird appetite cycles and microsleeps and the brief flashes of dizziness aren't important. It's not good but it's useful right now.
Give me a chance and I'd cheerfully take six months off work and sleep for five of them, though. Not cos I need the sleep, but to let my stress and fatigue seep out. But that's not happening. 4-day weekend this week was my longest break in 18 months.
Now my wife's packing and I'm just focusing on Getting That Bit Done, support her till she's back home, then back to fighting visas and long-distance relationship, and maybe I can pass out most of Sunday but I'm back in major meetings come next Mon.
I'm okay. I'm not despairing or spiralling back into depression, not at the moment. Got plenty of good things going on. But I am so, so damn tired of all this and I really need a break.
Turned out my savings bank, which refuses to do anything online, didn't actually post the crucial documents two weeks ago even though we phoned twice to check and they said they did.
John - so sorry to hear this. Having been through Home Office stuff here in the uk I do have some idea what you're going through, fighting, even though mine was not so extreme. Had been thinking of you two and hoping no news was good news.
Everything crossed for you bothxx
That sounds really hard for both of you, I hope it works out *hugs*
Thinking of you.