5.1 avg
  1615 days
  20815 hugs
  228 followers
5 Esther B
29 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Had a lovely day with my niece. I know I must be tough about date ignoring my messages but its painful. I'm still human. I probably deserve better but that's obviously never going to happen
Jen B
29 Jun 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Meri C
29 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
30 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Albertine M
30 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Albertine M
30 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

It is painful, having been there myself quite recently, I empathise but no getting round it. I know too how hard it is to keep going and have hope, but fingers crossed for you xx

Shelley H
30 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Jeff M
01 Jul 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
01 Jul 2019 · LEGEND

That happens to me when I manage to get the courage to go on a date. Usually, I like the other person more than she likes me, and then no response. But there are others, and you are so awesome, you deserve someone who likes you too!

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5 Esther B
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Down about friendship / date / future perspective.. what not?
Jeff M
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

I hope even if things don't work out relationship-wise, you end up with a friend.

Silke V
28 Jun 2019 · HERO

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me M
28 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Josie M
28 Jun 2019 ·

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Albertine M
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Albertine M
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Sorry you've been feeling low, dear Esther - been thinking of you and good to see posts again (I've been/am ill so sorry I haven't yet replied to your lovely email:) ). Like Jeff, hope maybe there are other possibilities?

John T
28 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Melody L
28 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
29 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Robert H
29 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Reba H
29 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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5 Esther B
20 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Therapy, gym, reading in bed
Spacekitten V
20 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
20 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
20 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Reba H
20 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Jeff M
21 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Margot L
21 Jun 2019 · SUPPORTER

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Melody L
21 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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4 Esther B
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Supposed evaluate my new meds but psychiatrist is sick. Still. She was sick last week as well. Now I have to wait another week and I feel like ****
Jeff M
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Ugh, that stinks. Is there someone else you can work with?

John T
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Esther B
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Not really Jeff. But told therapists about how I feel.

Jeff M
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Nothing worse than not being able to get the help you need... I hope you have someone you're able to work with at least to help get through the next week. *Big hugs*

nixiblu .
18 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Anonmous A
18 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Anonmous A
18 Jun 2019 · HERO

Hang in there. Thinking of you.

Reba H
19 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Manda P
20 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
20 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Hope the time passes until your next appointment quickly. Hang on tight until then. I know you can do it! xx

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3 Esther B
16 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Don't wanna go to sleep cause the mornings are so hard. They make me anxious and depressed.
me M
16 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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G J
16 Jun 2019 ·

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Penelope P
17 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Robert H
17 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Robin R
17 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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nixiblu .
17 Jun 2019 · HERO

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John T
17 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
17 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Anonmous A
17 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Reba H
18 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Jeff M
18 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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4 Esther B
15 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Yesterday was horrible. Almost ended in crisis. Went home with parents just to be safe. Today a little bit better.
Penelope P
16 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
16 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Reba H
16 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Robert H
16 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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me M
16 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Tayla O
15 Jun 2019 ·

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3 Esther B
12 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Headache is driving me crazy. Wanna sleep. Afraid I can't make it to therapy tomorrow or do anything.
Jen B
12 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Spacekitten V
12 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
12 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
12 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Hope your head is feeling better & that you may have gotten a nap in.

nixiblu .
12 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Reba H
13 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Aya N
13 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
13 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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5 Esther B
10 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Was down but mum came over. We cycled through the city and went to cinema.
Zoe D
10 Jun 2019 · 2+ YEAR

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Jemma B
10 Jun 2019 · NEW

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Jeff M
10 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
10 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

That sounds like a good day! Glad you were able to do something fun to elevate your mood!

Gy G
10 Jun 2019 ·

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Robert H
11 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Reba H
11 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Aya N
11 Jun 2019 ·

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Manda P
11 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
11 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

That sounds like a great day! Glad your mood improved. xx

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4 Esther B
08 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Feeling sick. Sweaty, headache, nauseous. Beating myself up for being in bed.
Brandt B
08 Jun 2019 ·

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nixiblu .
08 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Aya N
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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May K
08 Jun 2019 · NEW

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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John T
08 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Reba H
09 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Penelope P
09 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Robert H
09 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Jeff M
09 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
09 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

It's ok to be in bed and take it easy...hope you feel better soon!

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5 Esther B
07 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Work - errands - drinks with ppl from therapy
Penelope P
07 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jenny D
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Jimbob W
08 Jun 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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Reba H
08 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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John T
08 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
08 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Anna .
08 Jun 2019 ·

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Reba H
09 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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7 Esther B
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
May 1st was my 6 year Pandaversary. I just realise that now. 🥰
nixiblu .
06 Jun 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
06 Jun 2019 · HERO

Amazing. 👩‍🎓👋👋

Gy G
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Penelope P
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Spacekitten V
06 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Natalie C
06 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Jenny D
07 Jun 2019 ·

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Jenny D
07 Jun 2019 ·

Very nice

Reba H
07 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Silke V
07 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Jeff M
07 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
07 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Aw, happy pandaversary, Estherbear! We are so happy to have you here!

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5 Esther B
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Had therapy from 9 till 4. Long day. Managed to go to pilates & bodyshape afterwards. Feeling very anxious and down. Probably withdrawal from Xanax Only took 0.5 mg a day. What a **** benzodiazepine
Tuxi A
06 Jun 2019 · HERO

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John T
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Getting that exercise in helps...as hard as it is, at least you can feel good knowing you did it!

Gy G
06 Jun 2019 ·

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Melody L
06 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Natalie C
06 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Reba H
07 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Silke V
07 Jun 2019 · HERO

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5 Esther B
04 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Therapy and tea with friend. Headache. Need to reduce and quit Xanax. Hopefully it all goes well.
nixiblu .
04 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Melody L
04 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Robert H
05 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Reba H
05 Jun 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Jeff M
05 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Silke V
05 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Manda P
05 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
05 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

Good luck getting off it. I got addicted to Klonopin & it was hard to quit. Lots of rebound anxiety. I hope yours goes much more smoothly. Just remember you'll make it out alive & will feel better not relying on it. 💖

John T
05 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Anna .
05 Jun 2019 ·

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Esther B
06 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

That must be hard Amanda! I've been having a lot of rebound anxiety as well. Not that much fun. I only had 0.5 mg though ^^

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5 Esther B
02 Jun 2019 · LEGEND
Sunburn. Spent 1 day at a dairy farm. Helped friend with milking the cows this morning. Love to be around animals.
Zoe D
02 Jun 2019 · 2+ YEAR

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Lydia R
02 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Ian D
02 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Brandt B
02 Jun 2019 ·

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Bipolar Bear .
02 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Bipolar Bear .
02 Jun 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

That's awesome! I would love to do that, I love working with animals :)

John T
03 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Aya N
03 Jun 2019 ·

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Jeff M
03 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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nixiblu .
03 Jun 2019 · HERO

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Albertine M
03 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

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Manda P
04 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
04 Jun 2019 · LEGEND

That sounds really great! Something about animals make you feel comfortable. Glad you had that opportunity! ❤️

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5 Esther B
29 May 2019 · LEGEND
Had a decent day.
John T
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

John T
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

🍻

Aya N
29 May 2019 ·

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Jeff M
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

That's so good to see! Honestly, most days I feel like a 5 or decent ranking is the best I can hope for. It helps to remember that some days can be decent to good, too, when you're having a tough one!

Manda P
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Ian D
29 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Brandt B
29 May 2019 ·

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Penelope P
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Reba H
30 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Esther B
30 May 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks all for the hugs. And decent is the best I can get for now so I'm quite content.

Albertine M
31 May 2019 · LEGEND

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2 Esther B
26 May 2019 · LEGEND
Depressed and anxious. Started new antidepressant 2 weeks ago. Maybe I just need to hold on a bit longer but it's so **** hard. I just wanna sleep all day and disappear.
me M
26 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Natalie C
26 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Ammar H
26 May 2019 ·

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John T
26 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Melody L
26 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

That 'i want to disappear' feeling is familiar...

Melody L
26 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Manda P
26 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
26 May 2019 · LEGEND

Thinking of you, Esther. I hope the new AD helps you. Just hold on for a little longer to give it time to work. xx

Natalie C
26 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Reba H
27 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Albertine M
27 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
27 May 2019 · LEGEND

Hope you can hang on, certainly when I started it took at least that long to have an effect. You're in my thoughts xx

Lydia R
27 May 2019 · HERO

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Jeff M
27 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Esther B
28 May 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks all. I've added my mail address in the Google doc! :)

Albertine M
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

Woo!

Manda P
29 May 2019 · LEGEND

Yay!!

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2 Esther B
12 May 2019 · LEGEND
Guess this was almost the worst week of my life. Never felt this depressed. Slept a lot. Barely ate. No energy. Vicious circle.
Silke V
12 May 2019 · HERO

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Robert H
12 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Reba H
12 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Spacekitten V
12 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Ian D
12 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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Penelope P
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

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me M
13 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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John T
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

It is...the less you eat and do, the worse you feel. But it's so hard to do those things. I understand how hard it is to get out of that circle. I wish I had a way to help you, other than empathizing.

Jeff M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

Really rooting for you, Esther. Any time you want someone to talk to, please reach out!

Jeff M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

Email is in that pandadocs thing: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yzampFBAKcZ1MC-96LRfqts4DgEWGxnA-MjcPEiorLk/edit?usp=drivesdk

nixiblu .
13 May 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Albertine M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
13 May 2019 · LEGEND

All of us want to help, dear Esther - reach out if you want. Lots of love xx

Melody L
14 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

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2 Esther B
06 May 2019 · LEGEND
No appetite. Anxious, depressed. Can't take this feeling. Want to give up.
Reba H
06 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Aya N
06 May 2019 ·

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Jeff M
06 May 2019 · LEGEND

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Jeff M
06 May 2019 · LEGEND

Sending you lots of strength, Esther. I'm always thinking of you and rooting for you!

Robert H
06 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

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Lydia R
06 May 2019 · HERO

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me M
06 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

*Hugs*

Kristian J
06 May 2019 · 1+ YEAR

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John T
06 May 2019 · LEGEND

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me M
06 May 2019 · 6+ MONTHS

Please don't give up, hugs

nixiblu .
06 May 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Albertine M
06 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
06 May 2019 · LEGEND

Lots of love, Esther - please hang in there. You're in my thoughts xx

Esther B
07 May 2019 · LEGEND

Thanks all xoxo

Manda P
07 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
07 May 2019 · LEGEND

Thinking of you, Esther. Don't give up. I know you will make it through this. You've got Pandas by your side. xx

Silke V
12 May 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

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4 Esther B
02 May 2019 · LEGEND
Anxious to be on my own. Probably because I'm in my 'child mode', feeling unsafe like a little child without her parents around. Hard to cope with. Therapy is helping but not 24/7.
Cora K
02 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

Lydia R
02 May 2019 · HERO

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John T
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

John T
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

I'm sure you have people to message if you need to talk. I know you are in touch with Silke and you can find me at https://instagram.com/jwtownshend I'll listen to you when you need to talk 😊

Jeff M
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

I understand that feeling. You want comfort and protection and that childlike comfort of not having to worry about anything and being able to just live. I wish there was more of that in later life...

Jeff M
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

As John said, we're here if you need to chat. I put my contact info on his google docs thing too.

John T
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

https://goo.gl/Ufb286 panda pals (don't use your main email address in case of spam etc.)

Albertine M
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Albertine M
02 May 2019 · LEGEND

Mine is on there too Esther xx

Manda P
03 May 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Manda P
03 May 2019 · LEGEND

Same, Esther. We are here for you! ❤️

nixiblu .
03 May 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

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2 Esther B
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND
Someone from former therapy group committed s*****. I'm feeling very low and unsafe now.
John T
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

John T
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

People suffer but they it's also possible to feel better with some support and help. Keep going Esther. Keep going.

Esther B
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

I will try! Not ready to give up yet.

John T
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

Well done. Also, I'm sorry, it's very difficult when people are taken away like that.

Albertine M
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

Sorry to hear this, Esther - that's sad news and I get how it affects you too. So glad to hear you want to keep trying! Lots of love and strength xx

Jeff M
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

*Hugs*

Jeff M
30 Apr 2019 · LEGEND

That's so sad...I'm sorry. From our perspective, we see you as so strong getting through this and keeping on. I think you're amazing, Esther, and I know you can do this. Is there someone you can talk to about how this news impacts you?

Ioanna P
01 May 2019 ·

*Hugs*

nixiblu .
01 May 2019 · HERO

*Hugs*

Robert H
01 May 2019 · GUARDIAN

*Hugs*

Once logged in you can be part of the community