Apparently I have a half sister that my mom hid from my dad. I have zero contact with my family and this doesn't change a thing. Not sure how to process this.
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I'll be alone on the anniversary of a traumatic event this year in 6 days. Here's hoping I can manage it. Already stressing.
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*sigh* cold weather of late is aggravating my leg and hip pain. Couch, warm blanket, dog, Hulu and a latte. Chores aren't getting done today but I need the self-care.
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When the company you're dreading decides to come visit a day early without telling you... Grrrrr. Not amused.
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Coming to terms with the fact that I've been evicted from the family completely. Not surprised but it still stings.
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Meh. Stress of dealing with my sister over my dad's estate is driving me batty. Exhausted.
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Can we please just skip Christmas this year? Not feeling it. At all.
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Anxious but content. Does that even make sense? Beginning a new job in half an hour. It will be good to work again. Make it a good day, Pandas.

Succes with your new job 🙌

04 May 2020

Yay! Kudos Sara.

04 May 2020
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He wants to postpone our wedding another year. Every time I bring it up and we set a date, he gets weird. Can't help but wonder if the relationship itself is a mistake.
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Waiting to hear if the seller accepts our offer on a home. Huge upgrade from no stove, heat, hot water, broken windows and our horrid landlord. I'm anxious but tentatively hopeful.
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Not better but not worse. I'll take it for now.
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Sad but true. The more I watch The Handmaid's Tale, the more parallels I see in my own past. Time for some therapeutic journaling. I need to explore these feelings of inadequacy and such.
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It's been a while, Pandas. I feel like I'm stagnating and the depression is creeping back in.
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Conflicted. Abuser wants to attempt civility and I admit I miss parts of him. Current relationship is feeling empty and lonely. I need parts of both but that's not realistic. Maybe alone is better

You must ignore your abuser and heal and make yourself aware all the hate and manipulation that went with him.

17 Jun 2019

Life goes on. You can and will cope. Reach out to someone better when you need to.

17 Jun 2019
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My abuser is out of jail. So much for sleep and feeling safe.
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My mom was my biggest supporter when it came to my jewelry business. Haven't been able to touch my supplies since she passed. I'm gonna try tonight. For her.
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Lost it yesterday when my sister took her shoes off and put her feet a foot from my mom's face in her hospice bed. Let's hope today is smoother and I can keep my mouth shut.
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All I ever wanted was for my mom to love me even half as much as she loves my sister. I wanted to hear one time that she is proud of me. I will never have that. I hope she knows how much I love her

Hello :) I don't know you, but I wanted to share something. I used to feel the same way. I'm 36 years old now, and in the last few years I've heard the words of pride and love from my mom quite a lot. You never know. Some things take a while.

23 Mar 2019

Thank you; my mom is in hospice and is no longer verbal. I'm in a really bad head space. I appreciate your words so much. Thank you.

24 Mar 2019
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